What If A Friend Trades You For A Boyfriend?

A life 2023

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What If A Friend Trades You For A Boyfriend?
What If A Friend Trades You For A Boyfriend?

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Video: What to do when your boyfriend seems to have more fun with his friends than with you 2023, January
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WE ALL HAVE A LOT OF QUESTIONS FOR OURSELF AND THE WORLD, with whom it seems that there is no time or should not go to a psychologist. But convincing answers are not born when talking to yourself, or with friends, or with your parents. We have started a new regular column where professional psychotherapist Olga Miloradova will answer pressing questions. By the way, if you have them, send them to [email protected]

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What if a friend has a boyfriend and forgot about you?

Each of us got into a situation when the best friend (or friend) with whom you spent days on end managed to discuss half of the city of acquaintances, ate a ton of chips and chocolates, and in the end whose hair you held on at the most awkward moments of parties, suddenly from you moves away. But the most offensive thing is that the boyfriend becomes the new center of the universe for a friend, and she not only does not call you, but even forgets to put likes on Facebook. At the same time, you understand with your head that this is such a stage in her life, but resentment, a sense of injustice and, most importantly, longing for your beloved friend does not allow you to sleep. What to do?

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OLGA MILORADOVA

psychotherapist

As you know, life does not stand still, and now a ship with scarlet sails appears on the horizon of your best friend, and, enveloped in new emotions, she disappears from the horizon - already yours. Of course, all this does not happen immediately, at first you are undoubtedly happy for her, and she shares with you the most intimate experiences. One day the day comes when she and her prince decide to start living together, or even get married at all, and suddenly you realize that there is no news from your friend for a week … A month … You seem to have been forgotten. Where did the oath promises of eternal friendship go, and in general - what to do?

First, stop panicking and get ready to pause. It is absolutely normal that for some time she will be overwhelmed by emotions and a new life and, perhaps, she will forget not only about you, but in general about the whole world around her and prefer self-isolation with her lover. But not a single honeymoon lasts forever, people tend to get used to each other, the severity of sensations subsides, and just about it will be overwhelmed by a wave of everyday life, and possibly panic that she is losing something important. If you are really close friends, then you should not meet her triumphant return with cold indifference or reproaches that you would never do that in her place. Firstly, never give up (besides boyfriends, oh, how many things can take us away from reality for a while), and secondly, be able to understand and forgive. Our anger is actually always directed against ourselves.

If time passes, but nothing happens, or you just want clarity at some point, then just try to talk. Let it be in the form in which you are comfortable, most importantly, avoid direct reproaches and accusations against her and criticism towards the object of her adoration. A negative form of filing will alienate a friend from you for at least a couple of months, at least, if she decides that you do not like her lover or, for example, you envy her. Talk not about how bad she is, but about you: share your feelings and emotions - she really, in her personal euphoria, could forget and not notice your feelings or loneliness, some problems and difficulties that you used to trust her. But still, once having identified your position and problem, you should not systematically raise it again - a good friend will think about it and understand, and a bad one … Do you need bad friends?

Our anger is actually always directed against ourselves

An important point - no matter how you treat your friend's man, try to immediately establish the most diplomatic relations with him.Because it is not known how authoritarian her chosen one is, but even if it seems to you that he is an extremely unsuitable couple for her, then, having ruined your relationship with him from the very beginning, you will lose the chance to convey this idea to your friend later. Yes, perhaps he is a terrible person with a clear tendency to domination and will simply forbid her to see you, but what good is it to you that you were right if all the possibilities for maneuver are blocked? Plus, the chances are that the boyfriend is not so bad, and the first impression is not always the best. So it's better to restrain your emotions than to feel awkward all your life that you behaved disgustingly with a good person - simply because you did not think that he would stay with your girlfriend for more than a week.

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