Dealing With Negative Emotions: Tips And Practices

A life 2022

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Dealing With Negative Emotions: Tips And Practices
Dealing With Negative Emotions: Tips And Practices

Video: Dealing With Negative Emotions: Tips And Practices

Video: How to Deal With Negative Emotions | Eckhart Tolle Teachings 2022, November

Ability to understand and manage your own emotions makes life much easier, and most importantly - makes it more pleasant. We asked Tatyana Strashnenko, curator of the BHShD summer intensive course "Emotional Intelligence in Creative Business", to tell how to cope with excessive emotionality at work and at home.


Emotions are the key to understanding yourself

and a better path to goals and meanings

We do not have time to fully experience positive emotions, and with negative emotions the situation is even worse - most perceive them as something bad, which must be got rid of at any cost. But our irritation, anger or fear can be important signals that our subconscious mind sends us. Emotions are the key to understanding yourself and a better path to goals and meanings.

There is a well-known saying: "The anger of a person who is angry once a year is terrible." If we ignore emotions, the energy that is given to us to act (for example, run or fight when fear arises) builds up inside and becomes destructive. Almost everyone has experienced a state of emotional storm, when emotions take over so much that we are practically unaware of our actions and words. When the storm has calmed down, the person comes to his senses and sincerely wonders what it was. However, if his behavior does not change, ignoring his feelings is likely to lead to a new breakdown.

In recent years, psychologists have been talking more and more about emotional intelligence - a set of emotional competencies that can and should be developed. Even our rather conservative education gets rid of stereotypes like "boys don't cry" or "a girl should always be nice." It takes time and effort to do serious work with emotions and perpetuate new habits, but you can start taking the first steps in developing your emotional intelligence now.


Realize and name

How often do you tell yourself that you are angry, discouraged, hurt, anxious, or tender? If you do this regularly, congratulate yourself and put this article aside. If not, start now. Ask yourself, "How am I feeling right now?" - and write down the answer in the language of feelings and emotions. Remembering an event from the past, analyze it from the point of view of not words and deeds, but feelings. Create a special notebook in which you will write down the emotional states that you experienced during the day at least once a day. Gadget lovers can opt for a smartphone app like Mood O Scope or Emotion Diary.

When you realized and named your emotional state, you did some very significant things. First, acknowledge that you feel it - instead of ignoring your emotions. Secondly, they took responsibility for what was happening (it was not “he made me angry”, but “I was angry”), which means that the management of this situation is now in your hands. In other words, you have ceased to be an object, which is influenced by various emotions, and have become a subject, that is, the master of the situation. Third, you reminded yourself in time that anger or anger is not an integral part of your personality - it is just a temporary state that comes and goes, it happens to everyone.

Choose how to dispose

Once you know how you feel, it is important to take control of the situation into your own hands. If you control an emotion, then you can use this resource for a good cause, and if a strong emotion controls you, the consequences are unpredictable. For example, when we feel anxious, we want to immediately drop everything and hide somewhere. But if we are aware of anxiety and manage the situation, we once again double-check our plans and actions, analyze weaknesses and possible risks.In a calm state, we might be too lazy to do this, but anxiety gives us an incentive to action and additional energy.

If you find yourself experiencing an emotion that is generally considered negative, take your time to get upset. After the question "How do I feel now?" and an honest answer to it, ask yourself the following question: "How can I use this?" What if my resentment motivates me to prove something to others? Shouldn't I take advantage of my angry mood to finally say “no” to a person who has long been using my kindness? Does my fear indicate that I have not fully clarified or thought through the upcoming action?


Reduce emotional intensity

If you understand that you are not coping with your emotions, the most important thing is to relax, to lower your emotional intensity, in order to be able to think soberly. You can help yourself in this with fairly simple, but quite effective methods.

DRINK COLD WATER. Remember that stress is a physiological reaction of the body, and water regulates metabolic processes, cools in the literal and figurative sense. In addition, the procedure can serve as a "switch": drink slowly, in small sips, focusing all your attention on the process.

SENSIT. In stressful situations, our breathing quickens or stops, as if we completely stop breathing. By normalizing breathing, we also normalize our condition. Take a few deep breaths, if possible, close your eyes and fully focus on your breathing, not being distracted by anything else. If you want, you can connect your imagination: imagine how with each inhalation you are filled with something pleasant (warmth, sunlight, fresh air) and with each exhalation all unpleasant sensations and emotions leave you (for example, in the form of black or gray smoke).

Vigorously MOVE OR WALK. Exercise burns off negativity very well. If you count steps, monitor your breathing, clap your hands in a certain rhythm, or perform any other action that requires concentration, your mind will be forced to distract itself from "chewing" unpleasant thoughts. If it is not possible to move, try to change the position of the body in space - very often mental "sticking" is accompanied by immobility. Sometimes a simple change of angle of view literally helps to see the situation in a new way.

MAKE YOURSELF MASSAGE. Even if you don't know anything about reflexology and human anatomy, there are some simple tricks that anyone can use in almost any situation. Rub your palms vigorously and massage your fingers. Close your eyes and place your hand on your forehead without lowering your head. Also, bioactive points, the impact on which reduces the level of stress, are located above the upper lip and below the lower lip, strictly in the middle. Massage each or both together for 2-3 minutes.

Analyze and draw conclusions

After you have realized your emotion and decided on a course of action, be sure to return to the situation and analyze it. What caused the anger? Were there real grounds for anger? Did my interlocutor really want to offend me or is he just poorly educated and misinformed? In the end, did I provoke such a reaction of the interlocutor? What other options are there in this situation? Do I always react this way in such cases? This analysis is especially necessary if you did not manage to take control of the situation in time and you acted under the influence of emotions.

Unfortunately, people usually do not return their thoughts to a negative experience, but strive to forget it as soon as possible. As a result, instead of invaluable experience and new knowledge about ourselves, we are left with a sense of guilt, shame and disappointment. But if you make it a rule to regularly analyze your emotions, over time you will replace automatic responses with a conscious choice of behaviors.After all, there are always many options for behavior - when you are calm and fully aware of what is happening.

Photos: vadim yerofeyev -, Andrey Kuzmin -

Material first published on Look At Me

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