Psychological age becomes a meaningful choice, not a prerogative of nature. However, despite all the advances in medicine and cosmetics, there are still strong stereotypes that people are obliged to feel and behave according to their biological age. Moreover, this applies directly to women: many still believe that 30 years is a milestone, after which everything should become more difficult, including self-care.
With the support of Weleda, a pink line of cosmetics, we spoke to four women over 30 who we admire, and each of them showed us how meaningless stereotypes are.
CEO at Trendy Lab Production
About cosmetics and care
When I was host and producer on MTV's Trendy program, I learned to be calm about my looks. Beauty is not in the first place for me, charm is more important. I do not visit a beautician regularly, but there is one must: no matter how tired I am and no matter how much I go to bed, be sure to wash off the makeup from my face and moisturize the skin.
About upbringing and independence
I'm 37. And I'm a happy person! I am from Bulgaria, and it is strange and funny to me that in Russia people are ashamed of their age and try not to smile again. I never learned to walk with a sad face and hide the number of years I have lived. And why? I have always perceived myself primarily in terms of what I can do, learn and give, how I can help. Such upbringing: my parents developed spiritual qualities in me - it was important to be kind, sympathetic, ready to help, generous, cheerful, bright.
Beauty is not in the first place for me, charm is more important
They never told me that I should be the most beautiful, prosper everywhere, take everything from life, tear and throw. And now, in modern life, it bothers me a little, because the ideals, values and perception of the world have turned upside down. We, women, fought for a very long time for independence and the opportunity to prove that we are in no way inferior to men. As a result, all this led to the fact that women became the stronger sex. And it seems to me that some women suffer from this.
“I never learned to walk
with a sad face and hide
number of years lived"
About believing in yourself
I recently had a difficult period, from which I got out a year and a half ago: the man in whom I believed, admitted to all spheres of my activity and gave birth to a son for him, slowly and surely destroyed me as a person. This is always done by people who are obviously weaker than you: they suppress in order to seem stronger. So a little tip: never let people decide how you should think and what you should do. Don't let them take away your faith in yourself! Even in moments on the verge of despair, I can say without hesitation that I am happy. After all, everything that is given to us is just a test, we always have the strength to pass it. This understanding heals once or twice.
Never let people decide how you should think and what you should do
Now I work in a men's team. And I constantly have to prove that I can be cool. On the set, you can't do without raising your voice and even swearing. And in negotiations, you first have to spend some time in order to simply draw attention to yourself and your ideas. But then we are all friends and make great projects together.
I am happy because happiness is in my head
I am not a single mother, I am a "bachelor mom" - this is my understanding of reality. I freed myself from the notions of the world that my ex-husband imposed on me. The euphoria that I can be myself again covers everything: temporary difficulties, age-related changes. Age is an internal state, and it defines the boundaries of comfort. A person can be equally unhappy or happy at any age. Who knows, maybe I will meet my fate at 56, and maybe tomorrow. I will be equally happy.I try to experience happiness every minute of my life. I don’t have such a “standard set of happiness for people”: an apartment, a car, a husband, and what else I should have. But I'm happy because happiness is in my head. And everything is in my hands.
Head of Communications Nike
About beauty and care
Through endless trial and error, I came to the conclusion that I can change the color of the eyeshadow, lipstick and hair, but not change my body. Because I love him and accept him - this is very important.
I believe that a person cannot know something for sure about himself if he has not tried it
School and university were a stage for me to find myself. In the first years, I always wore evening make-up: lipstick, eyes, blush - all this is a little more intense than I would like now. At the age of 14, I painted my lips with brown lipstick and was sure that it suits me very much. It seemed that since I was finally a grown woman, I should look like this. When I was 17, I wore skate shoes and a huge backpack. I was red-haired, brunette, blonde, light-haired. Now, by the age of 30, I remember these experiments with a smile, because I know very well what suits me and what doesn't. I believe that a person cannot know something for sure about himself if he has not tried it.
I adhere to the basic rules in personal care: I wash my face with cold water in the morning, wash off cosmetics before bed, use anti-wrinkle cream and sunscreen.
I believe that age does not exist, and how you look and how you feel is not about numbers at all. Age is an experience that helps you make fewer mistakes, although they also happen, which is cool, because doing stupid things is also part of your life path. Everyone has their own story, and there can be no ideal life plan.
“Each has its own story, and there can be no
About the thirtieth anniversary
At 20, you have little experience, but at the same time it seems to you that you know everything. When I turned 25, I cried for half a day because I decided it was time to take stock. I immediately remembered the great writers and directors who, by the age of 25, had done something brilliant, and you cannot put me on a par with them. It was a sad day.
And at 30 there was a fun party. I was living in Amsterdam then and decided to celebrate somewhere halfway between Moscow and Amsterdam, so 20 of my closest friends came to Istanbul for the weekend. I really like the age of 30. At the beginning of your life, you take more than you give: you learn, you try to absorb something.
I am in that state when I want to take a lot from life and give a lot
By the end of your life you give more: you have accumulated experience and want to pass it on. And I am in a state where I want to take a lot from life and give a lot, and in this I find an excellent balance. I think it will last for a very long time.
co-founder of the Iskra cafe and bar and the project
Stay Hungry, founder of iknow.travel
About accepting yourself
My life now can be divided into two periods: the time when I followed the guidelines of my family and society, and the time when I began to ask myself questions about who I am and what I really want, what the concept of “successful life” means to me. By the age of 33, I realized that I was not in my place: despite a successful career in the corporate environment, the feeling of a bright future did not come. At some point, the tension became unbearable, I overcame my fear of being left without money and prospects, decided to give up everything and do something of my own.
You only have today, and all adjustments and changes must be made today, otherwise the 'better tomorrow' simply will not come
Only for the last five years have I been learning to listen to what I want, and not do what is needed. I am learning that you should not wait for special conditions to start living the way you want. You only have today, and all adjustments and changes must be made today, otherwise the "better tomorrow" simply will not come.
After 30, you make two very important and at the same time banal discoveries: that you yourself are responsible for your life and happiness, and that in case of unloved work, lack of love or conflict with the outside world, you must first of all look for answers in yourself. And that life is a process, not a movement from one result to another, that you need to enjoy every day, find something special and joyful. You create the meaning of your life yourself.
In Russia, stereotypes related to age and the corresponding restrictions are still strong. There is still an attitude towards age as a disease. It is believed that after 50 people enter the age of living: you sit down and wait for God to clean you up. In Europe and America, for example, the attitude towards age is completely different: people under 100 wear shorts and ride a skateboard, flirt with each other at 70, and no one considers it strange. In Russia, the concept of female beauty is identical to youth, sex is equal to youth. Therefore, it is scary to grow old here. Here, the birth of a child is still a sacrifice and a lack of prospects for the mother, age is almost a 100% cross on personal life and a total decrease in opportunities and prospects, old age is illness and poverty. And no matter how much you believe that everything will be different for you, somewhere on the border of consciousness, fear has not yet been completely defeated.
“Somewhere on the border
consciousness fear to the end
not defeated yet"
About beauty and care
After 30 years, I have my own masseur and cosmetologist. Because the spine is the basis of health, and I am for prevention and discipline. In addition, I did not wait for my face to twist, and switched to proven cosmetics. I realized that now, unfortunately, the body and face cannot simply be told what to do - you need to negotiate with him, you need to monitor what you eat and drink, how much rest you take and how much you load them physically.
You are what you decided on
My recipe for youth is banal, but, as practice shows, it is not so easy to do: do what you like, listen to your true desires and communicate with positive people, preferably younger than yourself, and, of course, food, water, sleep, active lifestyle. You are what you decided on. If you think you can run a marathon at 40, then you are the person who runs a marathon at 40. If you think that life is over at the age of 30, then it really will end. All questions and answers are within you.
director of special projects Look At Media
About relationships with appearance
I have always been a big girl, but at the age of 17, having seen enough of skinny models, I became overwhelmed: I lost 20 kilograms and at the norm of 60 kilograms weighed 48. I was proud of the result - mainly because I liked setting goals and achieving them. But I became very nervous, quarreled with my mother, who was terribly worried, and gradually I calmed down. The weight naturally jumped back because I started eating without stopping.
Now my ideal image is me, how I can look, I have no external ideals of beauty
Then there were years of self-flagellation about every chocolate bar eaten. Self-acceptance came in waves: at the age of 17 I shaved half my head, by the age of 22 I had grown it all, then I did it again. This continued until I moved out from my parents. At 23, I began to monitor what I eat, I started to exercise wisely.
Now my ideal image is me, how I can look, I do not have external ideals of beauty. Despite the fact that I have a sweet tooth, I have not eaten sweets for several months. And I gradually remove the remaining obstacles: now pizza and alcohol are on the way to beauty. I replaced beer with wine, the rest of the changes are on the way. The euphoric feeling after jogging in the morning compensates for all the suffering, and what I see in the mirror after all the self-restraints makes me proud of myself.
Closer to 30, I began to think about wrinkles.For several years now I have been using creams, tightening masks, because I see changes and I think that if you start fighting this early, you can maintain skin tone for a longer time. Many friends who are older than me do plastic surgery, but I think it's too early for me to think about it.
I came to the conclusion that I look better without makeup, that I have a cool skin and hair color
I know perfectly well what I need and what not. It is very important for me to look at myself in the mirror and understand that I look cool. After all the experiments with decorative cosmetics, I came to the conclusion that I look better without it: I have a cool skin and hair color. Therefore, for many years I have not used foundation or dyed my hair.
“I know: if I want something, I will succeed, I bet
aim and go ahead"
I have always been "on the board" and never thought that for self-realization I urgently needed to get married and have children. It seems to me that a wedding is a relic of the past, torture for the bride and groom, some kind of show for relatives. And I never liked showing off.
Recently I realized that I was starting to think about children. At the same time, I do not know if there will be a man next to me, but I am sure that I will be ready to give birth in any case. I know that I can raise, educate and provide for the child myself. And I know: if I want something, I will succeed, I set a goal and go ahead.
The children of my generation were told that it was imperative to go to the 11th grade, then to college, then to work, and ideally still have time to get married and have children between work and college. It seems to me that it is important to understand that it can be not only this way, but somehow differently. And I would like to instill this idea in a child so that he grows up as an open person with a broad outlook.
Weleda's secret of true femininity
Weleda natural cosmetics pink line
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Thank you for the items Imago, LN Family, Viktoria Irbaieva, Isabel Garcia, Wanna? Be !, Nuuk, as well as the BeCreate workshop for decorating with balloons and the Biscuiti.Co pastry shop.
Material prepared with the support of