IN THE BEGINNING OF THIS WEEK, A NEW COLUMN WAS RELEASED ON THE SITE "SNOB" Allure chief editor Alexei Belyakov with the telling headline "Woman, know your place!" - one of many in which Alexey dictates to women how they should behave, dress and look in order to please men. We have collected a number of talking quotes from other columns of Belyakov, which have long caused outrage among women, and we learned from the men themselves what they think about such a "male look."
About "strong women":
When a woman allows herself to play a male, there is a violation of the ancient formidable laws. Here, our men open up the Slavic abysses. No matter how much we pretend to be civilized people, everyone can break loose, even if he is not in sweatpants, but in a muffler and a candidate of art history. Because the role of a woman is to agree, nod, smile. Nice whims - please. But within the framework of an unshakable social model. A ring, shoes, a ticket to Meladze's concert. Only, comrades feminists, do not accuse me of justifying violence. No. Never. The women themselves justify it. "Oh, he's so hot-tempered!"
"Woman, know your place!", Snob
It's time to stop this orgy before nature punishes us. No, let there be strong women, well, two or three in a million, and that's enough. Their body is so arranged, and for God's sake. The rest should cry, be capricious, demand a foot massage - not in the salon, at home! - and his own Dima should rush to them. Who will decide everything, settle, arrange. With whom it is calm, reliable, forever. Because the only way is right. Because this harmony is laid from above, and destroying it is more terrible than eroding the ozone layer. It's as simple as one plus one equals eternity.
Why I'm Against Strong Women, Allure
They often say about this - they say, this is a clickbait, why do you even pay attention to it and add views. In my opinion, this is a rather flawed logic - clickbait for that and clickbait that targets the widest audience; if it is not noticed, the broadcast of the relevant views to this audience will not be burdened in any way. At the same time, I would not overestimate the value of indignant views - the measure of reputational damage both for the author and for the publication is clearly higher.
Another argument in defense of this kind of statements - they say, why are you doing censorship, a person has the right to an opinion and the like. Here I would like to remind you that censorship, even by dictionary definition, implies the participation of the state and some kind of administrative oversight apparatus. Even if we understand the term as a metaphor and mean the censorship of the collective Facebook, then, in my opinion, unanimity is still very far from here. Simply put, this is not called censorship, but a discussion - in which, if appropriate, it is necessary to explain to the opponent that he is spreading shameful, incorrect and simply harmful stereotypes. Moreover, harmful not only for women and understanding what role they can play in society, but also for men.
For me, for example, not only all this submissive and derogatory discourse about women is offensive, but also the stereotyping of men as strong males, whose life strategies, according to the author, are obscurely balancing between relentless sexual objectification and the desire to protect, resolve issues and for the same earn the most objectification. Fuck it. I am a man, and I, too, quite often do not want to decide anything - and I have the right to do so. The flip side of such postcard sexism is that its propagandist reduces himself to a bag of testosterone, in which money appears from somewhere else. In my opinion, this is an extremely unattractive picture.
About female appearance:
An aunt of almost retirement age, who is naked - this aunt is ridiculous, if not comical. Everything, you know, has its time.When Helen Mirren plays a dashing grandmother with a barrel at the ready in the movie "RED" - it's cool, cool, carbonic. This movie. But she is not naked, as she did forty years ago in the movie "Caligula". And there was something to see, young Helen is a sex bomb.
"Male gaze: Monica, get dressed urgently!", Allure
But let's face it below the belt: are all girls' legs that good? Do miniskirts and shorts always adorn a girl? I declare with full responsibility: not always. Legs are too thick, frighteningly thin, and finally, simply ugly. And when a girl with flabby and pale legs puts on very short shorts, I cannot welcome this with all my liberalism. And on my side half of the planet, including, by the way, and gays, who are especially picky about their appearance.
Men's Look: Girls and Mini Skirts, Allure
Vladimir Sorokin has a story called "Nastya". This is a stylization like Chekhov, an illustration of the celebration of the 16th anniversary of the main character. Parents and guests bring gifts and compliments to the girl, in every possible way preparing for “the most important day in her life,” and then roasted in the oven and eaten while talking about philosophy. The text is shocking, among other things, with what ordinariness and pathos it speaks of literally cannibalistic morality. For me, the texts of Alexei Belyakov are not much different from the content of "Nastya". They completely depersonalize, objectify women, deprive them of the right to their bodies, to their own desires, both in the sexual and mental spheres, prescribe rituals aimed at pleasing the "senior" men in the hierarchy, and describe the humiliation that women must go to, in order to end up being eaten with dignity. Therefore, my attitude to his columns is approximately like that of Sorokin's narrative: disgust combined with bewilderment.
This is not to say that such an angle of view is news to me: there are a lot of chauvinists in Russia - this is evidenced, for example, by the triumph with which the victory in the elections in the United States of America is greeted by the sexist, racist and homophobic Donald Trump. And if the latter appeals to the audience of "angry white men", then it is not clear to whom the chief editor of a magazine for women is addressing. Imagine that you come to the doctor with a toothache, and he prescribes an antiviral drug and Our Father before bedtime - the essence will be about the same, only the reaction will be stronger. The most offensive thing is that it is so easy to meet cannibals among successful people. Absolutely wild sexist views are typical for the editor-in-chief of a fashion magazine, and for the columnist for "Snob", and for the SMS writer of the liberal news portal, and even for the popularizer of science.
About body positive:
And in the Pirelli calendar I want to see young, strong, naked girls. Not the feet of 80-year-old Yoko Ono. And not profuse belly wrinkles for Amy Schumer, the comedian.
Yes, I'm a fierce sexist. And behind my back are millions of the same fierce sexists, including truckers on heavy wagons. We are with truckers for a pure genre. Evolution has not created anything better than a beautiful female body. Body positivists let them hamster hamburgers for the night, since we want to, we don't ask them to undress. And if truckers start a march to New York demanding a normal calendar, I'll join on my bike.
"Male gaze:" Pirelli are stunned! ", Allure
Body positivity is a terribly harmful thing. Opium for the people. The fact is that it is important for a person as a being burdened with consciousness to have a goal. Super task. In a male creature, this is a status. In a profession or society. A woman has the most important task of her whole life - to be attractive. Alluring. Well, that's how it is laid down - by God or Darwin, whoever wants to count. A woman can pursue a career and achieve status, but this is not a super task, it is just ambition. Moreover, the high status and the accompanying money just serve a super task. When you have a million or two for procedures, it's not bad.
"Male view of #bodypositive", allure
By and large, Belyakov's columns exist precisely because it is already more or less clear to everyone that what is written in them is horror and darkness. That is, it is clear that in modern society this is considered horror and darkness, but at the same time, this modern society itself is incomprehensible. Belyakov, on the other hand, is terribly archaic, under the guise of rules of etiquette, he regularly postulates things that until recently were the norm to talk about (for example, about whether it is possible to “eat” on dates, even the heroines of “Sex in the City” thought only 15 years ago) … It’s not cool when the world you understand leaves and some new, incomprehensible one comes, here Belyakov’s texts are a note of protest to the new world. And he is not alone, he himself writes: “Yes, I am a fierce sexist. And behind my back are millions of the same fierce sexists. " These millions have already understood what sexism is, but they still do not sincerely understand what is so bad about it.
Indignation, of course, is an understandable first reaction to such a way of thinking, but looking downward only aggravates the situation (as we see in the example of Trump being elected president of the United States). Therefore, simply to obstruct Belyakov and, for example, demand his dismissal, is only to provoke the real addressees of his messages (and these are not women at all, of course). Demanding empathy from people is generally a bad idea; empathy doesn't work that way. We have to argue again, to explain. And then again. Sexism, after all, has been with us for too long and has been built into society too tightly, it is impossible to get rid of it quickly.
About female sexuality:
We men are more afraid of this terrible operation than women. That is, not the operation itself, but the consequences. How to accept what we see? What is in this place - which we loved very much, caressed! - is there an ugly scar in this place? Of course, it takes endurance, let's be honest. And few people are able to control themselves. Yes, we are ready to regret. And then not for long. And love? To love the one who was the closest person, and suddenly she was disfigured?
"Woman after cancer and divorce", allure
We live to stare at girlish delights. All these offices and mortgages are nonsense, invented to distract us from the main thing. From April to October, we have fun and freedom, there is a meaning in life. We want everyone that runs by in a short skirt and a tight-fitting T-shirt. The blood is boiling, the head is spinning, the Earth is spinning.
And in winter? Girls! Don't change your biological essence. Tease, seduce, corrupt.
"Winter! Time to be sexy ", Allure
There is plenty - a man's prerogative, three leaves and a piece of cheese are enough for girls. At least - we should see such a picture. It is touching, it is charming and, finally - and we always mentally undress you with a glance - it promises us to see then in the twilight a quivering figure, and not a tired "goddess of fertility."
"MEN'S LOOK: WHAT SHOULD BE A GIRL ON A NEW YEAR'S NIGHT", ALLURE
In general, these statements about a woman's place in society are pure sofa sexism, even though Alexei's sofa is in the editorial office of a glossy publication. It's somehow ridiculous to write this already in 2016. The poles have absolutely changed - the majority of the US population chooses Hillary Clinton as president, Natalie Bois de la Tour leads the French Football League, and a certain Alexei writes, they say, no, baba, you must be weak and thin, please my eye and do everything for my approval. Even more surprising is how Alexei tries to substantiate his position: by the fact that, you see, he is a Russian peasant and a real Slav, and sexism is in his blood. Only, to be honest, whining about a dog barking at him does not fit in with the image of a Russian peasant at all. But with the image of a troll in the body of an adult man - quite.
But it's really sad that someone else reads Alexei and believes in all this nonsense that legs should be slim, butts should be elastic, and everything else is ugliness and not the norm. Even under this post on "Snob" there are a lot of approving comments from women.It turns out that Russian gloss and Belyakov in particular at one time educated their readers with a philosophy based on the standards of the advertising industry, and they still feed him to this. And he devours and is happy. What to do with this vicious circle - I do not know.
About communicating with women:
No, it's much better if you have different political views with your girlfriend. He is, say, a liberal, and she is a furious Stalinist. First, life will become more fun. Both. Secondly, it sharpens the drama of the nighttime delights. “Well, Ira, do you love Stalin? Do you love? " But she cannot answer: her mouth is busy.
Wanted: 5 Types of Girls Men Avoid, Glamor
Then I got carried away and told the new bosses boldly that I thought about their figure, eyes and hair. "What are your graceful shoulders, why are you hiding them under your jackets?" And so on. One blushed a little, the other smiled tenderly, the third with restrained thanks. But none of them stopped me once: "You are forgetting yourself, lieutenant!"
Compliments should be given to bosses. Spit on all the rules, commandments and office etiquette. This is the "decline of Europe" and the stupidity of feminists. Let them in Europe die of asexual boredom in their offices - Russian gentlemen love women openly, honestly, visibly.
"HOW IT IS CORRECT TO MAKE COMPLIMENTS TO THE BOSS (AND TO REACH THE INCREASE)", GQ
Ira always won. She had more arguments, numbers, comparisons. And logic. I was mad. Ira also had an exhausting manner of arguing calmly, with a disdainful grin. Sometimes, already on edge, I was ready to scream: "Yes, this is not a woman's mind at all!" But fortunately, he did not cry out. And then he consoled himself with one thing: Ira was ugly. “She has nothing to catch,” I reasoned vilely. - She has no boyfriend. So he has fun with books, politics, logic. You fool!"
I don't know how Ira's fate developed. Hopefully happy. She was a good girl. Just too smart, that's the problem. Men avoid such people. Yes that shun - run like the devil from incense.
"SMART BEAUTY - MEN'S NIGHTMARE", ALLURE
It is very clear why these columns exist, but it is no less sad from this. There are people who really think the way the author writes (they say that he himself does not behave like that, but this does not change matters). There are people who would like to behave this way, but something does not allow them, and they read these columns as material for fantasy. And there is a third category of success for these columns - all of us who have just read his writings are angry and indignant about this. Therefore, this Belyakov writes them, and the sites order them for him. They are viral, they provoke "controversy." It is justified in the media, like clickbait and videos with kittens.
But in fact - I am outraged by the attitude towards women, which is pronounced in his texts. This is objectification in its purest form, reducing a woman to a beautiful trophy, which a man is free to control simply because he has a penis, but a woman does not. The only relationships that can be truly healthy and rewarding are partnerships. This is the relationship that I have built with my wife Dasha, and we can both realize our ambitions and support each other. Moreover, now I am learning a lot from her, because Dasha has had her own business for three years now. If I were a man from Belyakov's column, I would have cut her attempts to the core, and now I would not even have anyone to consult with on a million questions that arise when I open my own business.
And this is the relationship that I am building with my daughter Natasha. I do not want to tell her, I want to negotiate with her, to be for her not only an authority, but just a person whom she trusts and on whom she can rely. And Belyakov cannot be trusted, and even more so, you cannot rely on him. It's bad to be like this.
About women and sports:
Now, when the Rio Olympics are taking place, I heard that I have scored the largest TV rating in Russia - no, not at all what you thought. Not tennis. And women's beach volleyball. And I'm sure the audience was all men.Because it's wildly sexy: girls in swimsuits are jumping, strong asses are sparkling, a sight for sore eyes. And normal girls: not pitching like swimmers, not withered like runners. Let this one species remain in the Olympic program. I'll turn on the TV myself for these damn girls.
"How Big Sport Kills Women," Allure
Having looked at the twists and turns of the body of my yoga girlfriend, I could not resist and - no, I did not take asanas nearby - I dragged her into the room, onto a large, large sofa. Both were pleased with the joint exercises. Yes, citizens, of course, there is a lot of benefit from yoga. Let the girls do it, I don't mind at all.
"GIRLS IN YOGA: MEN'S OBSERVATIONS", ALLURE
Yes, it's sex. Real sex. With 22 men at the same time. If you take a close-up shot of a cheerleader's face during a disturbing game, it's easy to think that she's going through a very long orgasm. Forty-five minutes of orgasm. Plus added time. I think this is where the mystery of total female fanaticism lies. She may not understand what an offside position is and why a corner. But she, tired of the big city, wildly wants sex, a prolonged orgasm. And she gets it at least in this way. Ole-ole-ole! Girls, go ahead!
"GIRLS AND FOOTBALL: THIS IS SEX!", ALLURE
I, of course, do not want to accuse anyone of anything, but the position of the author seems strange not only because I and most of my acquaintances hold the opposite opinion, but also because of confusion in the testimony. When a person who considers himself a liberal declares: "This is the only way it is correct," you hardly want to believe in all this. In general, to be honest, we all need to forget these columns as soon as possible, like an unsuccessful school essay, for which they give a deuce (forgive me for the harshness). Let me explain why. There is a lack of awareness in some issues, for example, in sports. It is necessary to distinguish sports from an erotic video clip. Otherwise, it is worth living for a while in preparation for a marathon (or at least for a half marathon) and looking into the eyes of a woman who is able to overcome such a distance.
I think that the popularity of such statements lies in the well-established commodity-money relations between a man and a woman, in which each defines a goal for himself: one wants care and attention, the second - dinner and clean socks. Or vice versa. The key to all this is probably self-sufficiency. If you want to better understand the other person, learn to do what you want to get from him yourself. And, probably, it is at this moment that the category “should” disappears and simple human relations begin.