Question To An Expert: Why Are We Talking To Ourselves

A life 2023

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Question To An Expert: Why Are We Talking To Ourselves
Question To An Expert: Why Are We Talking To Ourselves
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Video: Rise Against - Talking To Ourselves (Official Audio) 2023, February
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Alexandra Savina

ANSWERS TO MOST OF THE QUESTIONS ARE EXCITING TO US we used to search online. In the new series of materials, we ask just such questions: burning, unexpected or common - to professionals in various fields.

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Surely this happened to you: you catch yourself rehearsing a speech in the bathroom at the ceremony where you are presented with the main award (Olivia Colman did this!), Or you have been scrolling in your head for half an hour that you had to answer a friend in the very situation - and you understand that, in essence, you are talking to yourself. We decided to turn to experts to figure out why we are doing this - and whether we need to worry about it.

Vladimir Snigur

psychotherapist, translator, clinical hypnosis specialist

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People quite often engage in dialogues with themselves, thinking about something, planning or rehearsing their actions, or, for example, pondering past conversations. Why is this happening? The human psyche is not monolithic, it has different regions and processes - some are more conscious, others are more background, unconscious. They are sometimes called ego states. When we talk to ourselves, we actually help different regions of our psyche to exchange information, coordinate actions and negotiate with each other. Sometimes in these "inner voices" can be heard the voices of loved ones or other significant people with whom we internally consult or from whom we seek support. It can be imagined that all those important qualities and character traits that we have been imbued with from these people or characters find their life inside us in the form of such inner voices.

According to one of the central psychological theories, our mind from the very birth begins to perceive reality in a special way - building and keeping in memory the internal relationship between I and the Other. Without going into details, each of our emotional experiences necessarily contains our sense of self and some specific, or "invisible" addressee. In early childhood, the mother usually becomes such an addressee, but then images of other important people are gradually formed in my head. As we develop, these internal images become more and more collective and generalized. Usually we do not think about the fact that people are social creatures by nature - we instinctively need others for development and full life. This unconscious mechanism in the head sometimes chooses someone from real people as the addressee, sometimes some inner part of us, sometimes someone imaginary or even deceased. Through such real and imaginary relationships, we perceive the world, cognize and express ourselves and the whole gamut of our emotions.

By themselves, dialogues with oneself cannot be considered a sign of some kind of painful condition. It all depends on how much it interferes with a person to function flexibly and efficiently and communicate with others. For example, if a person is so deeply immersed in an internal discussion that he has difficulty with attention, cannot normally maintain contact with people, or confuses reality with imagination, all this may indicate psychological distress. But any conclusions about disorders and disorders can only be made by a specialist, taking into account many other factors.

Ekaterina Ternovaya

psychotherapist

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A person can speak out loud if he has a lot of thoughts right now - and reasoning helps him sort them out and solve the problem. This is similar to making to-do lists, for example. In addition, a person can experience intense emotions, and in the absence of the interlocutor (another person who can listen and sympathize) talking to oneself can help to cope with them.

There are other situations, for example, when we have imaginary monologues with friends or acquaintances. When we talk to ourselves in this way, we can, for example, unconsciously rehearse a difficult conversation (this activates the same areas of the brain as in a real conversation), and we can also reduce the amplitude of emotions in this way. In addition, in moments like this we feel more competent, it helps to support ourselves. In some cases, speaking the situation out loud allows you to take a position of the observer and notice important details.

At the same time, self-encouragement (“There is not much left, let's push!”) Is a skill that is used in dialectical behavioral therapy. Cheerleading makes you feel better in a crisis. In practice, however, people are much more likely to scold themselves; sometimes they repeat the words they heard in childhood from someone significant (a kind of "inner critic"). Customers also get used to scolding themselves because they are afraid that if they stop, they will become "lazy" and "weak-willed". In such cases, we have to develop a new pattern of mental behavior - in therapy we go to cheerleading.

At the same time, sometimes talking to yourself or commenting on your actions can turn out to be symptoms of a psychotic state. But in this case, others usually notice other changes in a person's behavior - for example, that he is excited or does illogical acts. It is important to understand how much self-talk interferes with ordinary life, but in any case, only a doctor can make a diagnosis.

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