Women About Delayed Motherhood

Health 2023

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Women About Delayed Motherhood
Women About Delayed Motherhood

Video: Women About Delayed Motherhood

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Video: Jordan Peterson: Career vs. motherhood: Are women being lied to? | Big Think 2023, January
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If you have a baby in the near future there is no opportunity or desire, it is reasonable to use the delayed motherhood program. Cryopreservation, that is, the collection of eggs with their subsequent freezing, makes it possible to delay pregnancy and become a mother when the woman wants it and is ready. For a joint project with the Clinical Hospital on Yauza, three heroines told us why they do not want to give birth now, but do not exclude such a possibility in the future.

Anya

30 years

I can't imagine how a child will appear in my beautiful life and I will be forced to adapt to him

As a child, I did not play mothers and daughters, I did not have bobbleheads, even the scarce American Barbies donated by my parents did not interest me. I never wanted children. When I was 20-25, I was told that my time had not come yet. Now I'm 30, I don't want children. And every year I continue not to want. Why? We have always had a tense relationship with our parents, and, despite the fact that I was surrounded by care from all sides, it rather strangled me. I can't even call my teenage happy.

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I can't imagine how a child will appear in my wonderful life and I will have to adapt to him. Even the dog that I got, having once freaked out, has been oppressing me for eight years now, depending on her schedule. I really love to work and earn money: I devote about 18 hours a day to my career. I can leave home at eight in the morning and come at night, or I can fly to Paris. I have no time for a potential child. And forces too. I just want to live for myself.

My partners change, but the decision remains. So the stories about “you just haven't met that one yet” are, in my opinion, complete nonsense. The young man today does not agree with my principles, so I try to avoid talking about this topic. But I do not hide my attitude to motherhood and am aware of my extreme degree of selfishness. I want to feel 100% free. Even such a natural stress for the body as pregnancy, I would like to pass on to someone else. Therefore, I am considering surrogacy.

Even such a natural stress for the body as pregnancy, I would like to pass on to someone else.

Parents have already given up on me, they only sigh sadly in the corners. But they are no longer pressing. I do not discuss such things with friends: there are more relevant and interesting topics for conversation.

Two years ago, my gynecologist warned me that if I do not give birth in a year, then this may never happen again. Probably, this news made me think ten years ahead. Everything is changing, and my attitude towards children can also change. It is not known what will happen to me at 40. I like to insure myself on all issues and would like to have a choice. So far I am only at the stage of studying the issue. I don’t think it will cause me any special emotions. An ordinary visit to the doctor, just with an investment in the future. I don't want children, but I want to put straws on myself.

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Catherine

38 years

Most of my life I have been focused on my career, professional and personal development, but I always wanted children.

I work in reproductive medicine, so I know firsthand about the women's “biological clock”. According to statistics, at the age of 35–37 years, the percentage of eggs containing the "correct" number of chromosomes is already 46%. That is, the older a woman is, the more dramatic the situation with the quality of her eggs, the possibility of conceiving and giving birth to a healthy child.

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Most of my life I have been focused on my career, professional and personal development, but I have always wanted children. I entered the delayed motherhood program in 2014 - I did it to provide myself with an airbag.So I have the opportunity to at least partially minimize the risks and preserve the chance of having children without taking into account the older reproductive age. I am divorced, and this also influenced my decision. I want my child to grow up in a loving family of two. So I didn't have a single "against".

I am divorced, and this also influenced my decision. I want my child to grow up in a loving family of two

The opinion of others does not matter to me. This is my life, and I live it as my heart feels. Parents and friends reacted to my decision in a modern and positive way. There were also those who spoke about the unnaturalness of the process, intimidated by health problems in future children. But this is a common opinion, which is formed due to the lack of reliable information and medical literacy.

I went through the procedure for taking eggs and freezing them three times: the more eggs, the more chances of pregnancy. Now I feel relief and satisfaction, I have hope. I plan to become a mother in the next three years.

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Oksana

34 years

I am not against children. I am against giving birth to them because "it is necessary", "everyone does it" or "the husband wanted"

In order for a child to fit into my plans, you must at least want him. Many say that with age this desire appears, but for me it, on the contrary, diminished - simply because I became less dependent on the opinions of others. I do not exclude that one day I will say “I want to, I can’t”, but for now it is more important for me to bring my agency to the European market than to think about children.

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I do not think that motherhood somehow contradicts career and social fulfillment. There are many successful women with children around. At the same time, I see that my colleagues give birth not because they want to, but under pressure from others. The modern world is still arranged in such a way that be a woman a hundred times the head of a corporation, talk about "When will you give birth?" and the ticking clock cannot be avoided. Although, it is possible that men are experiencing this pressure.

I just fell into an emotional trap: I began to think about my health and, of course, one way or another, I felt pressure from my relatives. It became scary: what if I really want a child in a year, five, ten years and cannot give birth for health reasons? Then I learned about the possibility of delayed motherhood. I did oocyte cryopreservation at the age of 29, almost immediately after the wedding. This was our common decision with my husband. Every year I just pay for storage and am glad that I still have the freedom to dispose of my plans. That's it, the clock is not ticking.

Be a woman a hundred times the head of a corporation, talk about "When will you give birth?" and the ticking clock cannot be avoided

This is a completely universal story. For example, many men do not want children under 30, but they have to constantly listen to conversations from their girlfriends about what to give birth to while young. Delayed motherhood, in a sense, relieves this stress and gives time to tune in to the child.

I am not against children. I am against giving birth to them because "it is necessary", "everyone does it" or "the husband wanted". Therefore, postponed motherhood for me is a synonym for conscious motherhood. When a person is ready for it not so much materially as emotionally. It seems to me that now women become mothers very early: they have not yet figured out themselves at all, but are already taking responsibility for the formation of a new personality.

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