Be My Husband: Women On How They Proposed

A life 2023

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Be My Husband: Women On How They Proposed
Be My Husband: Women On How They Proposed

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Video: I PROPOSED TO MY BOYFRIEND on Holiday in Mallorca! ENGAGEMENT STORY | natalie danza 2023, January
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Although marriage is increasingly perceived as a more or less equal partnership, many people still share the belief that in heterosexual relationships a man should offer a “hand and heart”. Cases when a woman proposes to marry, on the contrary, are rare and are considered something exotic - either because of age-old traditions, or because of the ingrained romantic stereotypes about "that very special moment", played out thousands of times in books, films and TV series.

We spoke with three women who themselves proposed marriage to their future husbands, and learned from them under what circumstances this happened and why they decided to be the first to take the initiative.

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Dmitry Kurkin

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Anna Narinskaya

journalist, curator

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I proposed to my future husband in line for vodka. It was 1989 - the year of Gorbachev's dry law, shops were open from two days to seven, by the evening the queues became kilometer-long and pugnacious. We defended for about forty minutes, and it was clear that we would have to stand for the same amount, and in the evening we would have to part - like a decent boy and girl of that time, we each lived with our parents. And I said: "Come on, you marry me." He replied: "Come on." And we started talking about something else. The parents were later told that they "decided to get married." Basically, it was a "legal" excuse to get the keys to my grandmother's empty apartment. On the day of painting in the registry office, they were handed to us. And we lived there for seven years before the divorce.

I always bragged about my marriage initiative. Some familiar ladies, hearing about this, pursed their lips: they say, where is the girlish modesty? But this story was a great success among my friends. True, I do not know what they admired more, my courage or the place of action. By the way, we drank the bottle we bought then somewhere on the street near the store. We - unmarried - had nowhere to go.

Irina Bederman

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I met my future husband in the summer at a jazz festival. Two days later we started dating, three weeks later I realized that he was "the one" and made him an offer. It was at the Red October on a summer evening. She said to him: "It seems to me that you are the one, let's get married!" He burst into tears and said "Yes!" Then, of course, there was a more formal ceremony with the ring, but there I already asked him to be in charge.

Curiously, on the first date, he clearly stated that he did not want children and did not recognize marriage. These are two things that he definitely doesn't want to have in his life. As a result, after two months of our acquaintance, we got married, and a year later I became pregnant.

Relatives and friends were shocked. But I was so in love that other people's opinions faded into the background. I never believed that in a relationship, the initiative must necessarily come from a man. I was often the initiator of relationships, calls, meetings. I think the conviction that a man should take the initiative is out of fear to take responsibility for his actions and desires. It's funny that during quarrels, my husband often reminded me that it was my initiative and I needed it, but he didn't.

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Oksana Makhrova

architect

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I always knew that I would propose myself. For me it was not something too unusual, radical. It's just a solution that you come to, and it is exactly that. And I confess that scenes in films where a man throws a ring into a glass of prosecco, when the chosen one turns away, or lays a path with petals to a cache with a cherished ring, caused me a terribly unromantic laugh. I think, upon hearing this laugh, no man would give me any ring.

I made an offer after a little more than a year of relationship with Alexei. Probably one of the important motives was long and not very pleasant health problems. For the first time I felt helpless, and Alexey was there.I learned that you can be really bad and scared, and the person who chose you, in spite of everything, is somehow very naturally near. My gratitude very quickly grew into a conscious desire - yes, I want this particular man to be there and further. To be my husband.

Many people ask me - was I scared? No. Not at all. I have never been scared to do something good, honest, something that I have no doubt about. In my opinion, our mutual friends, parents and the "support group" were more worried. Yes, we had a whole group, I made an offer in the cinema, against the background of a mini-film specially released for this occasion. We had a cameraman and editing director, an animator, two operators of the hall, a curator of the process on the site and the entire technical staff of the 35 mm cinema on Pokrovka. They say that when I stood on the stage, on a special white mark on the floor, all the employees of the cinema and the director were packed into the technical control room, everyone was terribly worried, the whole hall froze, where all our friends and parents were sitting in the dark, unnoticed by Alexey. Everyone was waiting for his answer. And he took it so quickly and answered "Yes."

That was great. And this is definitely one of the most positive and wonderful experiences in our life together. Alexey then laughed, said that he perfectly understood that I could always throw out something incredible, but here I somewhat exceeded his expectations. I even ordered rings from a jeweler. Inside Leshin is written "faith", on mine - "feeling."

I still don't know how to make a proposal correctly and whether there should be at least some gender prerogative here. In our family it turned out like this, in someone else's way. It seems to me that it does not matter who and how decides to take this step. Do people sit on a bench in the park and suddenly one simply says to the other: "Let's get married?" Lets do it. Or they jump on a parachute from a volcano and offer a hand and a heart in flight. The girl does it or the man does it. All this does not matter if this is a movement of the soul, behind which there is a sincere feeling and the thing that makes us truly happy and free is an honest and confident choice.

PHOTOS: myadria - stock.adobe.com (1, 2)

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