Under the heading "Cosmetic bag" we study the contents of beauty cases, dressing tables and cosmetic cases of characters we are interested in - and show all this to you.
Interview: Margarita Virova
Photos: Ekaterina Starostina
culture editor Buro24 / 7, author of the telegram channel "Profeminism"
I will die for the right of any person to look the way she or he wants
About body shaming and complexes
As a child, I tasted all the delights of body shaming: classmates, for example, called me "blue" just because of the color of my eyes. Compassionate teachers, looking at me, groaned and lamented: “Why are you so thin and small? You need to eat more! A man must be like a rock so that a woman can hide behind him! " I did not understand what the problem was: I ate enough and well, went swimming, but the mountain of muscles did not grow. It seems that in the fourth grade at the next medical examination we were weighed. The weight of many of my classmates was already approaching forty-five kilograms, while mine, it seems, did not even reach thirty. There were no health problems.
I grew up a notorious child. There was not a single day when I was completely satisfied with my face and body. In the tenth grade, I started wearing braces. Nobody laughed at me then, and thanks for that. But when the metal arch was finally removed before graduation, huge nasolabial folds materialized above my upper lip. Around then, my relationship with my own appearance turned into hell: if I looked in the mirror, I saw only these wrinkles. The people around did not seem to notice them - or pretended not to notice. The nasolabial folds were visible in every photo of mine, which is why I, in principle, stopped taking pictures or straightened the photo in the simplest retouching programs.
Everything changed when, in 2012, a beautician friend of mine gave me two injections of hyaluronic acid. The effect was immediate, but still not what I imagined it to be - that's how I stepped onto the path of injections. The matter was aggravated by the fact that both he and I were not the most sober people on the planet, but sterility in the apartment, where all this was happening, did not even smell. Only now I understand what a stupidity I have committed - and mentally I thank the universe for the fact that the dubious home cosmetology went without complications.
Everyone who injected fillers in the face knows that the effect of the procedure lasts about a year. When the wrinkles returned, I did the injections again and again - and it seemed to me that this is an absolutely normal practice and I just take care of my face. Further more. Last fall, my neurosis about my appearance intensified. I quite seriously asked the doctor how to remove the veins protruding on the forehead. It turned out that they can only be removed with a guillotine, so I decided to give injections into the nasolacrimal sulcus: it seemed to me that at least this “problem” I could, and therefore, I had to solve. However, to my surprise, there was no effect. None. The furrows did not disappear, and the unpleasant pulling sensations in the cheekbones remained for another month. Then the beautician gave me an injection of Botox into the wrinkle between the eyebrows. By the way, it turned out to be much more effective, so that the two vertical folds at the eyebrows are gone (but, it seems, they are already in a hurry back). I don't know how much time and money I spent in seven years on injections, but only now I understand that it would be more expedient to refer them to a psychotherapist: it seems that the effect of competent therapy lasts a little longer than six months.
About care and cosmetics
Now my facials are downright simple. I wash my face twice a day. In the morning I put on a moisturizer, to which I add Sanskrin in the summer. Less often I use clay and cloth masks, but in my case this is a way to relax and have a pleasant time: I did not notice or notice any action.I am still ready to actively fight only one thing - black dots: in order to remove them, I agree to endure even harsh mechanical cleaning. I understand everything, but I can’t help it.
When choosing cosmetics, I don't look at gender labeling. Nevertheless, when I come to the store, the consultants persistently lead me to the "male" racks. So, for example, it was with the purchase of a regular moisturizer. Some time ago I had an absolutely wonderful Lancôme, but I was not ready to shell out five thousand for it. I asked the consultant to help choose the cream and clarified that it does not have to come with the prefix "for men". I don't like cosmetic fragrances that smell like tobacco, wood, or leather. However, everything that she offered me cost a little cheaper than the Lancôme and was intended “only for men” - because, in her opinion, “such a cream smells masculine” and “it penetrates into the deeper layers of the skin, because in men it thicker. " It's a shame that customers in cosmetics stores are still being fed such nonsense.
About accepting yourself
The last injections into the nasolabial folds I did a year and a half ago. In theory, I need to repeat the procedure right now, but I no longer want to inject fillers. This is a pointless and quite costly pursuit of something that will never be perfect. Probably, I can rank myself among the supporters of body and skin positive: I will die for the right of any person to look the way she or he wants. But when it comes to myself, a strict mentor suddenly turns on, who says that I supposedly have to do something with myself: go to the gym more, take more care of myself. But I understand that self-acceptance is not a decision, but a process. I'm just starting to allow myself to be imperfect, focusing less on my appearance - and more on what I write, say, or do. It seems like a long story, but I am a capable student.