Checklist: 7 Signs You Have Communication Problems

A life 2023

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Checklist: 7 Signs You Have Communication Problems
Checklist: 7 Signs You Have Communication Problems
Video: Checklist: 7 Signs You Have Communication Problems
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ALEXANDER SAVINA

Communicating with others is not easy.: you seem to be on the same wavelength, but every now and then there are failures. Today, in addition to the usual IQ, people are increasingly talking about EQ, or emotional intelligence: generally speaking, it is the ability to recognize one's own and other people's emotions, to act on the basis of them, but not to fall under their control. If you are well versed in your own feelings and desires and can understand what the other is experiencing, then communication will be successful. Here's how to recognize that you should take a closer look at your own communication. And about what to do if you are determined to cultivate empathy and better understand emotions, we talked, for example, here and here.

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You are constantly misunderstood

Each of us at least once, but found ourselves in such a situation: it seems that they explained to another what was the matter and what did not suit you, but in the end we ran into a wall of misunderstanding - or felt that the other person heard something completely different from what you said. Another common story is when a person even hopes that others will understand him without words - although what seems obvious to one person may be completely incomprehensible to another.

Communicating not only the way you are used to, but also being understood correctly is an important skill for emotional intelligence. If something is constantly heard in your words - perhaps it's time to take a closer look at what exactly and how you say it.

You often don't understand others

The opposite situation - if you notice that others remain a mystery, although everything seems to be simple. This failure is not necessarily expressed directly: it happens, for example, that the very offensive "jokes" appear when one of the interlocutors sincerely does not understand what is offending the other. Of course, sometimes we all make mistakes and do something unpleasant to others - but if the situation repeats itself from time to time, it is definitely worth thinking about its reasons.

One of the important conditions for empathy and developed emotional intelligence in general is a sincere interest in what others are feeling and thinking. Of course, this does not mean that you should strive to understand what everyone is experiencing without exception - from a neighbor on a trolley bus to a saleswoman in a supermarket - but trying to better understand those close to you is a great idea anyway. Fortunately, you can try to develop this interest on your own - and with it, it will become a little easier to understand others.

You find it difficult to describe feelings

One of the important components of emotional intelligence is what is called “emotional introspection,” the ability to navigate and recognize your own feelings. No matter how absurd it may sound, situations when a person barely understands their own emotions are not so rare: it happens, for example, that people can describe their state only in two categories - "I feel good" or "I feel bad".

Travis Bradberry, co-author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and career consultant, believes that "unnamed emotions are often misunderstood, leading to irrational decisions and unproductive actions." “People with high emotional intelligence are able to cope with their emotions, because they understand them, and also use a large vocabulary in order to describe how they feel,” says the expert. "The more specific the word, the better you understand what feelings you are experiencing, what led to this and what should be done about it." It is logical that such a skill will be useful not only for yourself, but also for communicating with others: it is easier for those who understand themselves to understand others. And what to do if you find it difficult to understand your own emotions, we told you here.

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With some, the conversation just doesn't go well.

Of course, no one is equally successful in interacting with everyone around. Moreover, each of us met a person, communication with whom over and over again completely unsettled.

Travis Bradberry notes that one of the skills of people with highly developed emotional intelligence is manifested precisely in how they interact with those who strongly influence their condition. According to him, people with high emotional intelligence will approach a meeting with a “destabilizing” person, on the contrary, rationally: they will try to understand their own emotions, not let anger or frustration take over, and instead calmly discuss the current situation and come to a common decision together.

If you feel that emotions are inevitably more important in difficult situations than what you are directly trying to negotiate, you may need to learn how to deal with them, on your own or with the help of a therapist.

You act impulsively

One of the bonuses to emotional intelligence is the ability to not only figure out how you really feel, but also choose how to proceed. “People with high emotional intelligence understand that emotions are transient, and that impulsive decisions are often later regretted. So they try to take a break and think before acting - especially in emotionally charged situations,”says Justin Bariso, author of EQ Applied.

If you notice that you regularly chop from the shoulder, and then deal with the consequences, perhaps this paragraph is about you. Of course, there is nothing wrong with approaching life with passion - but thinking about how you want to proceed, knowing how you feel and how this or that situation affects you, is also very good.

You strive to prove

which is better than others

Research indicates that there is a link between emotional intelligence and self-worth. From an ordinary point of view, this seems absolutely logical: the better you understand your feelings, the more you should understand what kind of person you are. Justin Bariso notes that people with high emotional intelligence see good in others - and can easily tell them about it. So if your typical conversation or argument on a seemingly neutral topic turns into an attempt to prove who is right, who understands the situation more or is smarter, perhaps the reason is emotional intelligence.

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No secrets are shared with you

Of course, this can have a variety of reasons and you should not immediately rush to draw conclusions about the quality of the relationship. Empathy, an important element of emotional intelligence, implies a genuine interest in others. Naturally, this affects both communication and how your relationship is built in general: the easier it is for others with you, the easier it is for them to entrust you with something intimate. If others do not feel comfortable and free with you to talk about personal topics, it may be worth paying attention to how communication is built - everyone will definitely benefit from more sincere interaction.

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