I Was Deleted On Social Networks: Women About How They Shared Friends After Breaking Up

A life 2023

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I Was Deleted On Social Networks: Women About How They Shared Friends After Breaking Up
I Was Deleted On Social Networks: Women About How They Shared Friends After Breaking Up
Video: I Was Deleted On Social Networks: Women About How They Shared Friends After Breaking Up
Video: Are there Social Media Rules for Relationships? 2023, February
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When friends who have had a long relationship decide to leave, for the rest it can be a difficult test: which side to take, is it possible to avoid such a need at all, how to behave in order to maintain friendship with both. We talked with different women about how they kept and lost mutual friends in the same company with a former partner.

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Sasha koksharova

Anya

(name changed at the request of the heroine)

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My ex-boyfriend and I started dating when we were sixteen and seventeen years old and we were both in our freshman year. The first time we spent together almost every day. Then, of course, we began to grow our circle of friends, but friends were also new for us - as we are for each other. There was no such thing that someone was someone else's friend initially. Then my then boyfriend started playing in an indie group, and we became friends with the guys from the group, with their acquaintances, so we had a company.

We met for almost two years. When we parted, at first there was no division of friends. We continued to communicate in one company. Then he almost immediately began dating another friend of ours. A party was planned at our friend's house. But on the day of the party, the same friend called me and told me not to come, explaining that the new girl was jealous. Feelings were so-so. I decided that I no longer want to communicate with the guys who dance to the tune of one person, and broke up with everyone at once. The guy and our common company tried to improve relations with me. But I definitely decided that everything. And I began to establish contacts with other people - there were always a lot of them around me - but I could not let go of the situation.

Six months later, I had a dream that my former boyfriend had died and I was at his funeral. I woke up and thought that I want to communicate with this person while he is still alive. It so happened that once my classmate and I went to Odessa at the same time as this guy with a company of our friends. On the first day we met and made up. And now we have been friends for ten years. Our company has acquired new acquaintances and friends. Someone constantly parted with someone, but the main backbone was preserved. It seems important to me to be able to forgive people for mistakes. Sometimes they do them because they just haven't grown up.

Sasha

(name changed at the request of the heroine)

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My ex-girlfriend and I dated for two and a half years. Before that, we were best friends for three years: living in different cities, we constantly went to each other. The common company was formed when she eventually moved in with me.

When we started dating, her small circle of friends was a little shocked, but then everyone very quickly got used to the fact that we are now together. We had parties, travels and mutual friends. She left me when she fell in love with another person. We both felt very bad, we wanted to somehow survive it by common forces, but nothing came of it.

At first, I behaved like a manipulator and was very aggressive. I was not at all ready for this separation, it was my first love. Now I see that it was all creepy and wrong. It seems to me that it was generally risky to start a relationship with the closest person that I had then. Friends said that sooner or later I would lose her.

Sometimes I regret that, although we communicate with her now and in good relations, I will not have such a best friend. Despite all the difficulties, the company of mutual friends with whom we communicated then has survived, but I communicate with them to a greater extent. My ex-girlfriend began to contact less with our company, but it is unlikely that this was facilitated only by parting with me: life is changing - and so is the social circle.

Katya

(name changed at the request of the heroine)

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My last company of five guys and five girls and I were friends for a very long time and constantly spent time together - we were connected by one common hobby. Over time, some of us developed friendship into something more. So after a couple of years it was not just ten friendly guys, but five little love stories, united by incredible affection for each other. Together we spent healing free time, traveling, experiencing joyful and sad moments.

Three years later, our idyll began to crumble, and I became the first link to fall off. The relationship was already slowly becoming obsolete. Now it seems to me that they kept only on the desire not to lose friends and on the cool general feeling that we are a family. Friends have always said that even if one of the couples breaks up, the friendship will never end. Therefore, in the end, I made the decision to break up with the guy, and was more or less calm.

Probably, we all meet new people at the moment when we need it most. So a new person appeared in my life. The relationship started quickly, my friends were happy for me, but gradually I began to notice that we began to communicate less, meet less often, and it seemed to me that I was not as happy as before. One day I accidentally found out that friends gathered and did not call me. At first I thought it was an accident, but when it was repeated five more times, I decided to talk. Then they made it clear to me that, having made the decision to break off the old relationship, I betrayed our friendship and ruined the company.

Several years have passed. Almost all of those couples have broken up, but they continue to be friends and communicate. How it happened that everyone still thinks that I started this end is not clear to me.

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Sonya

My ex-boyfriend and I did not have the same company, despite the fact that we studied together at the institute. When we started dating, our companies got mixed up. For the last year we rented an apartment with my best friends, and of course he spent a lot of time with them.

When we decided to leave, our neighbor friends found out about it. And it seems that one of my friends even tried to force our parting. It seemed to them that this was the right step and I absolutely needed to take it.

We are adults and are capable of making friends with the same people, but at the same time my friends, with whom he talked for several years, do not try to get in touch with him, and he, in turn, does not try to claim them. With his friends, with whom I communicated quite closely while we were together, I have more desires to intersect, but I'm not sure that we will be friends, after all, this is his friendship, not mine.

We have two friends that we really shared, but we communicate with them at the same time. This is his best friend and this best friend's girlfriend. I had fears that he would keep his distance due to the status of "Best friend of my ex-boyfriend", but so far this has not interfered with our friendship, and I am very glad. My boyfriend and I broke up not so long ago, after that he moved to another city, because almost simultaneously with our parting he quit his job. Now we do not communicate and will not be able to communicate for a long time, he blocked me in all social networks. In this regard, his best friend helps me a lot - he acts as an intermediary between us. He consoles both sides: when he covers up my ex-boyfriend, talks to him and tries to distract him from inadequate ideas. When I feel bad, he talks to me, puts everything on the shelves, he somehow manages to balance between us.

Pauline

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Now there are eleven people in our company. Almost all are couples. And almost all of each other's ex. If you were not in a relationship, then there was definitely some kind of love. We have had moments when one of our friends broke up badly and the former couple did not communicate with each other. It was very difficult for all of us. I constantly had to think about how to get together, who to call and who not, which side to take.

Several years ago, a friend of mine started dating a girl he brought to our company.She very quickly merged into it. Naturally, we spent all the holidays together, constantly communicated. They broke up two years later. Soon he had a new girlfriend, whom he also brought to our company. It seems that no one was jealous of anyone. We didn't have any conflicts. As a result, the guys are still together, and this is generally one of the best couples on the planet, and his ex-girlfriend is our beloved girlfriend. To be honest, without making any effort, I do not remember at all that one of us met with someone.

It's good that in the end all the grievances pass away and the understanding remains that we are all fun and interesting with each other, regardless of the status of the relationship, that even if you are each other's ex - this is not a stigma, but just a part of life.

Anna

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I made the decision to divorce, so, perhaps, it was easier for me to prove myself as a more adequate side. Before leaving, I honestly spent three days on heavy conversations in the spirit of "no one is to blame, but it happens", so there was no question of any division of friends - as well as property, by the way. Until a certain moment, I did not disclose the reasons for my decision even to my friends, to our mutual friends I invariably said that my ex-husband was a good person, it just did not work out. But this very good man chose a different tactic, ringing at every corner - as in an anecdote - what I am "a drinking, walking, ungrateful, selfish woman of an unfortunate holy man." Naturally, this ringing reached me - along with a subpoena for the process of the division of property.

Then “friends” just joined - it's worth saying that all of them were originally friends of my ex-husband, but over the five years of marriage they became common and several of them, perhaps, have recently communicated with me even a little more than with him. It was from these isolated "friends" that the moral damage was high. Without asking me a single question, they felt it their duty to explain to me what a bad person I am. Then they contradicted themselves and said that I, as a good person, should give all the property to my husband - although it was he who began to divide this property, without warning me. Then, for some reason, they reported that they had deleted me on social networks, they urged other people to stop all communication with me - often successfully. But the climax, of course, was the court session, where these "friends" acted as witnesses. I didn't hire a lawyer, because splitting everything honestly in two is not such a difficult task. But my ex-husband hired. And at the same time I asked these same “friends” to give testimonies that were in no way related to the case, but extremely offensive for me. It was a great lesson for me - to hear how people who have smiled at you for many years, trusted their secrets, and sometimes children, suddenly, splashing saliva, shout that from the first day they knew that you were a “sub-snake”.

But in the end, I am sincerely glad that I learned this lesson and that in one fell swoop I got rid of not only an unsuccessful marriage, but also of people who were unsuccessful for me. In fact, after the divorce, everyone remained with their social circle, which was also before marriage. And there is a fair amount of justice in this.

PHOTOS: Moonpicnic (1, 2)

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