Distinguishing truth from lies in life, relationships, and even on the Internet is quite possible. The article describes the main characteristics of liars, their behavior and actions. Lying is a message of facts that do not correspond to reality, and the speaker is well aware of this. The definition is called false informing by one person of another in order to create in the latter a wrong belief or emotional attitude towards a particular object.
Functions of lies in a person's life
Lying is an integral part of interpersonal communication. It helps to hide the unpleasant, to construct the desired picture of the world and performs a huge number of functions. With its help, we protect children from incomprehensible and terrible things for them, hide our "exploits" from their parents and protect ourselves from the condemnation of others. In many cases, the truth is harmful. Truth and lies in life sometimes change their status as a positive and negative principle. Wrong is a cure for a seriously ill person. She hides the true state of his health and thus saves nerves, gives strength for recovery. Lies are often used when talking with children, so as not to frighten and not load with incomprehensible and untimely information. In personal relationships and business, lying, on the contrary, plays a sharply negative role. She brings financial and moral losses. To form a wrong belief, three types of transmission of false information are used: direct (fiction from A to Z), exaggeration and sophisticated lies (distortion of reality, suppression of important details).
How to tell the truth from the lie
Few know that a liar is betrayed by certain body movements. His speech can change, his arms, legs, eyes move chaotically, and even emotions become different. Looking at this correctly, you can easily determine who is lying.
How to recognize lies by body movements
95% of the information we are told by the body of the interlocutor and the timbre of his speech, because it cannot lie. Certain moves will always betray a liar:
- Shifting eyes … Scientists claim that lies live on the left side. Pay attention to the eyes: the person speaking the truth will direct their gaze to the right and downward, recalling information. Coming up, imagining a new non-existent reality, the same person will look to the left and up. If you train yourself to follow the direction of the interlocutor's gaze, then only on this basis it is easy to find out whether he is telling the truth or lying.
- Closed ears … Lying causes discomfort to the speaker. Subconsciously, he will fence himself off from his own words. This is noticeable in the movements of the hand in the head area. The hand unconsciously tries to close its own ear, as if helping the liar to fence off his own lies.
- Movement near the nose … The liar scratches the tip endlessly or just touches it from time to time. At the same time, it is noticeable that his nose does not itch, since the muscles of the forehead and eyebrows remain at rest.
- Hand and foot movements … They are either too fussy or slightly inhibited. The left side of the body moves more: the hand pats, the leg taps, taps, the body shifts to the left side. Trying to convince the listener of the truthfulness of his words, the person unjustifiably shortens the distance, may even take the hand or shoulder. Sometimes, on the contrary, with a little experience of lying, it will try to somehow turn away, hide, get away from direct glance. Chaotic activity is possible to create barriers between oneself and the interlocutor. Different objects are placed in this gap: a newspaper, a book, a vase of jam, cookies or a cup of tea.
- Gestures … Hands folded on the chest is more typical for a liar than a posture of trust, when the palm is touched to the chest or abdomen. The closeness of the pose signals, if not about a lie, then about wariness, distrust of the other side. Crossed arms and legs, combined with statements of truthfulness and sympathy, indicate the insincerity of the interlocutor.
Recognizing lies by speech
In order to be sure of the speaker's truthfulness, you need to analyze his speech. How to recognize lies by speech:
- Slower pace … A person who lies has to choose words all the time. Therefore, he speaks much more slowly than one who does not want to be misled. A liar's speech is not rich in vivid detail. The story is straightforward, but overly expressive.
- Repeats of certain moments sounds … Skillful liars know that for the truthfulness of the information presented, lies must be diluted with the truth. To do this, one or two reliable facts are woven into the invented version of events. The deceiver will repeat them several times. It is important for the liar that the other person remembers what it was and automatically extends his belief in credibility to the rest of the story.
- The liar's speech is choppy … From time to time, he stops to understand if the interlocutor takes everything at face value. If you ask him a leading question, the answer will also be preceded by a pause. Writing is always harder than remembering.
- The speech of people who lie is replete with assurances of truthfulness.… They use verbal phrases: "I speak the pure truth", "honest word", "don't you believe me?" and etc.
In addition to the obvious distortions of the facts that speech gives out, there is another important point - it's all about the details. If asked to repeat the story in fine detail again, the liar will not. Experienced investigators often use this technique. And this is another answer to the question of how to find out where the truth is and where is the lie. Forensic experts force suspects to retell their version of events several times. The main idea is easy to remember, but it is identical to display the details as many times in a row as possible, only telling the truth, and nothing but the truth. Therefore, if there are doubts about the speaker's words, you need to clarify and ask again several times.
How to identify lies based on emotions
An attentive observer can recognize lies from the emotional accompaniment of the story. It is especially easy to understand the untruthfulness of a person by observing the alternation of emotions in speech and facial expressions. The played feelings first appear in the voice, and only then on the face. The speaker's face will tell you how to tell the truth from the lie. Deceiving, a person does not use all the facial muscles, but only a part of them. For example, demonstrating joy, he will stretch his lips, and his eyes will remain motionless. Or he will first communicate his feelings, and only then demonstrate it. With real emotion, the opposite is true. The pleasure first manifests itself in the eyes, blooms on the lips, and then breaks out in the stream of speech.
If the lie is triggered by a sudden need to justify itself, an emotion of relief is captured when the subject changes abruptly. The tension leaves the shoulders, the face, and when the interlocutor turns away, you can catch a sigh of relief. The liar easily agrees to change the topic, but the truthful story will not remain unsaid. The person will try to go back and finish it.
How to distinguish a lie from the truth by looking
Different sources characterize the view of a liar from opposite points of view. Some argue that liars do not like direct eye contact, while others believe that, on the contrary, they look intently at the interlocutor. Both the first and the second are right. An inexperienced liar or someone forced to make up a story on the go hides their eyes. He is uncomfortable, uncomfortable and wants to sink into the ground. Therefore, the gaze rushes about, avoiding looking directly at the interlocutor. With a deliberate lie in order to deceive, they do not hide their eyes. Firstly, in this way a person hopes to convince of the truthfulness of his words, and secondly, he needs to check the reaction. It is important for the liar to know whether his words are believed or not, so he watches intently and does not look away.
How people lie in relationships
Lying in a relationship can be big and small. Some lie in details, others deceive a loved one or beloved for years, hiding their little sins. Still others lie fundamentally, even about their own feelings. The fourth braid the partner into intrigues, depriving him of the support and help of people close to him. Blind faith in a relationship can be very expensive, so it is important to recognize lies in time.
Why and how men lie
Male lies are unique. The fact is that men consider it shameful to tell a lie to the representatives of their sex. It is dishonest, unsafe, and ruins your reputation. Cheating women, on the other hand, is one of the essential skills in life.
Male lies happen:
- Protective … It is used when they want to protect a woman from something that may frighten or alarm her.
- Hiding the unpleasant truth … A man doesn't want to confess his sins.
- Lies for good … Usually this is done with patients when they hide the real state of affairs.
The first case is harmless enough. It really removes some of the problems in the relationship and the life of the couple. Feminine emotionality does not withstand stress where calm confidence and endurance is needed. Therefore, men prefer to remain silent about something. Otherwise, the need to soothe a woman's fears will need to be added to the solution of any problem, and this is a waste of time and energy. In the second case, the strong half is lying about two things: money and mistresses. Almost everyone has a stash, but the third partner, as gynecologists call his mistress, is not such a frequent phenomenon. Most couples still prefer honesty in their relationship. The third option is used by almost everyone, except for some particularly callous persons, so it is not worth discussing.
But how to understand that a man is lying, he has someone on the side or there are sins of a different plan? You can use all of the above methods: analysis of speech, movements, gaze. The situation is facilitated by the fact that you can get as close as possible and look into the eyes. Specific markers of male lies in relationships:
- Changing the frequency of sex to one side or the other … Usually, men who decide to have an affair either do not have the strength for their wife at all, or, on the contrary, they show excessive activity in order to make amends for the betrayal in such a way.
- The appearance of time pits when whole periods of time disappear … Men cannot really explain where they were three hours on the weekend or in the middle of the working day, if the wife suddenly had the idea to check them. Usually these are those who only at the beginning of the novel and have not yet learned the art of lying.
- Incomprehensible nagging, scandals from scratch … Having visited his mistress, who is specially preparing, waiting for him, the man comes home and sees the usual picture - a tired wife in a dressing gown, screaming children, a mess. It makes him terribly angry, because the new passion seems both better and more well-groomed. If he is also in love, then the once dear woman goes into the category of irritants, he simply does not want to be around, but he is not ready to leave yet.
- Hiding by calling on the phone … Typical behavior of a liar who has a lady on the side. In addition, the wife may suddenly find strange SMS from Fedya's friend, who sends him kisses before bed. Of course, in the event that the cheating husband has not yet set a password on the phone.
- The number of difficult and burning projects at work has increased … Delays, excuses that a rush is straightforward, which were not previously and were not foreseen at all, speak very eloquently about the fact that a man happens to be somewhere. And usually only a mistress provokes such actions, because meetings with friends hardly have to be hidden.
Truth and lies in a relationship on the part of a man is easily recognized in couples, when partners live with each other for a long time. Women's intuition picks up the slightest nuances in communication changes. Some wives claim that they even feel the moments when the spouse thinks about the other.
But how to find out about lies at the first stage of a relationship? First, a quick and sudden rapprochement should be alerted. Assurances “I love you” in the first month of acquaintance with a high degree of probability speak not of feelings, but of a desire to use. The second important marker is actions. When they say one thing and do another, you need to trust the actions, not the words.
How women lie in relationships
Women cheat in relationships to make their life easier and avoid punishment. It so happened in our society that the fairer sex is dependent creatures. First, they are controlled by their parents, then they come under the control of the husband and his family. Girls who are independent, earn good money or have strong support from their parental family do not need lies as a way to protect themselves. They are more difficult to control, and they do not allow anyone to do this. An independent woman uses less deception as a means to maintain a relationship, since a man does not enter the meaning of her life for the sake of survival. The rest of the ladies are forced to widely use lies on a daily basis. They lie about expenses, hide unfavorable circumstances and actions. They prefer to keep silent about personal income, hobbies, entertainment, not wanting to give cause for discord. Children can be called a special part of female lies. Mothers take care of men's nerves and do not tell even half of the problems they have to face when raising offspring. They are dedicated only to those matters where financial assistance is needed, and you cannot do without a dad. Women's infidelity and the lies associated with them also have their own specifics. The survival strategy leads to the fact that many ladies are looking for more worthy people for the rest of their lives. Therefore, they constantly make lovers for themselves, as if comparing them with their spouse and weighing whether this new one is better, is it not worth changing one to another. In this case, it is very difficult to recognize a woman's lie. Exceptions are cases when the lady herself wants her husband to find out about the rival. It is interesting! A woman's fear of losing her breadwinner makes her keep silent even about her needs. If a girl is not enough in a relationship of sex, affection, sincere conversations, she will simply have a lover who will close this need, but will not risk what she already has.
How to recognize lies on dating sites
Not so long ago, the Chinese conducted a study of dating that ended in a wedding. The results showed that 25% of newlyweds met on the Internet. We have this figure, perhaps even higher, because after all, in the Middle Kingdom, most of the marriages are arranged by parents.
But online dating is dangerous enough. The interlocutor can lie with impunity and call himself a prince. There is no way to check, since it is impossible to see who is on the other side of the screen. For analysis, we have only lines, the eyes are not visible, movements and speech are not available. Therefore, nothing that the interlocutor tells us can not be taken on faith. You can easily fall for the bait of a maniac or a psychopath.
In order not to become a victim of lies on the Internet, you should follow these rules:
- Analysis of personal data … Study your social media pages carefully. They should be accounts of real people, not bots. Real accounts are duplicated in various social networks: VKontakte, Odnoklassniki, Facebook. Bots display the same type of photos. They have scant personal information. It is impossible to determine where he was born, studied, married, there is no photo of relatives.
- The desire to meet offline … If you feel that the first stage of acquaintance has passed, and the interlocutor is in no hurry to meet in real life, this is a bad signal. Assurances that he is a spy or a military man seem ridiculous at first glance, but many women are fed them. When a personal relationship is established, they begin to believe any, even the most incredible nonsense.
- Refusal of visible rapprochement - telephone communication, photo exchange and other … Internet relationships can be considered a lie if a person does not want to meet live or at least translate the relationship into the plane of telephone conversations or communication on Skype. All assurances of love and seriousness of intentions are nullified when offline dating is disrupted. One, two agreed, and then canceled meetings - a signal that there is a fraudster on the other side of the screen.
- Requests for help … Here, in 100% of cases, either a person who wants to cash in on his feelings, or a banal swindler, will be behind the monitor. Never normal people, especially men, will ask for help financially or financially from a person with whom a relationship is just starting.
Internet interlocutors can be trusted only if there is a live account with a large number of friends, and, moreover, there is a motley audience - classmates, work colleagues, neighbors, acquaintances, relatives, friends from interest groups. There is information about yourself, but the page itself was not created yesterday. It's important to know! Psychologists warn: serious relationships are never secret. They hide only in cases where intentions do not go beyond short-lived flirting or simple entertainment. How to distinguish truth from lies - watch the video:
Thus, it is difficult to distinguish a lie from the truth, but it is possible. You need to carefully monitor the speech, facial expressions and movements of the interlocutor. And most importantly, always focus on actions, not words.
