Asking for help - why we are afraid to use it. How to properly ask for help so as not to get rejected. Effective techniques to get what you want from a man. Important! Love yourself, allow yourself to want and receive what you want, including help. It is this kind of light that lives inside a woman that kindles a man as well.
General rules for successfully asking for help
The ability to ask for help should not be seen as a way to shift your problems onto others or the possibility of being in debt. On the contrary, it can make our life much easier and save us from possible failures and disappointments. After all, there is no such person who would know and could do absolutely everything. Therefore, you need to ask for help, and so that you are not denied help, you should do it right. To do this, it is enough to know a few important rules.
Politeness is not only for kings
To create the right atmosphere for your request, express it politely, honestly, and openly. Do not manipulate the person from whom you are going to ask for help, showing with all your appearance what will happen if he refuses you. Don't veil your desire under any pretext or cliché.
Say exactly what you want your helper to say. Choose a calm, benevolent tone for this, maintaining it even in case of refusal. Remember that the commanding tone or imperative intonation in the voice in most cases causes a feeling of rejection and resistance. But sincerity and benevolence open many doors.
Clarity and clarity are the guarantee of success
Another important rule of how to properly ask for help is to express your request clearly and specifically. Because the uncertainty in the request creates uncertainty in its implementation. Therefore, if you are asking for money on a loan, name a specific amount and specific conditions for its return.
If you want to get a raise in your salary, be prepared to name the desired rate. You need assistance or protection - explain exactly what kind of help you need, when and how much. You are looking for business support - prepare convincing facts of the success of your project (details, plans, projected results).
Start the conversation right: without long introductions and prefaces about why you decided to ask for help. They only annoy the interlocutor and give him time to formulate a refusal. Therefore, start the conversation with the fact that you need his help (namely help) as a competent (successful, successful, experienced) person in your question, not forgetting about the word "please."
Then, through a simple phrase "because", state the reason for your request. Say it confidently and convincingly so that he does not doubt that this is very important to you. This approach immediately sets your counterpart to a serious mood and disposes to really help you to the best of his ability.
Knock and they will open for you
To make the most of the opportunity to get the help you need, ask for help from those who can provide it. Ask in order to receive, not to ask. Therefore, first outline for yourself a circle of people who are really able to help you financially, mentally, physically, share experiences or use their connections.
Such an approach, firstly, will significantly increase the chance of getting this help, and secondly, it will not burden the person and will not put him in an uncomfortable position, since he has the resources to provide it. Engage the interlocutor: it is natural for a person to give preference to what is interesting to him. And if your request falls into the category of interest to the person you are asking about it, he will be more willing to help you. If you have made a promise that they will help you, but this does not happen, you should not wait for the promised three years. Remind about yourself, because your request could simply be forgotten or for some reason postponed its implementation. Do not hesitate to ask again.
At the same time, if you add creativity and ingenuity to your requests, the chance of a positive result will significantly increase. However, if your persistence does not bring results and the person does not fulfill the promise, feel free to cross him off the list of people who are trustworthy for yourself and seek help from others. If your request is not limited to one performer, ask for help from several people at once.
A request is not an order or an obligation
Be prepared for your request for help to go unanswered. Your interlocutor may have a lot of reasons for refusal: from banal laziness or antipathy to a real lack of opportunity to help. Or maybe you yourself once refused to help this person. But this does not mean that he will not change his mind or someone else will not help you. After all, you are neither the first nor the last to be turned down.
Even if you are rejected, there is a way to try to benefit from this situation. Ask who you can contact with such a request. Very often, in order to extinguish the unpleasant aftertaste of his refusal to help, the interlocutor can redirect you to the right person.
To help fulfill your request to materialize, voice it with full confidence that you will be helped. But at the same time, you are absolutely ready to refuse. Try to do everything to drive away the negativity. Before asking for help, block any thoughts and fantasies about how and why you were refused and what sad consequences await you.
On the contrary, imagine how your interlocutor happily fulfills your request and what positive changes are taking place in your life. Play this clip in your head until you feel the inner confidence in your actions. And go ask for help.
Persistence makes the impossible possible
Be optimistic even if you refuse: ask again, ask others, ask in a different way. Moreover, the decision to change "anger to mercy" can be influenced by many things: a good mood, a positive event in life, rapprochement in interests, new details in your business or the first successes. It is important not to miss this moment. Remember the childish spontaneity in the desire to get what you want - the child is not ashamed to ask many times. And he often gets what he asks for. Moreover, your request may remain unfulfilled unintentionally: it was not heard, not seen (if it is a letter, SMS or e-mail message), misunderstood or simply forgotten in the confusion. Remember, reminding you of an important request for you is not obsession, but persistence.
An affectionate word and the cat is pleased
Expressing sincere and timely gratitude for many people replaces any benefit. It is an indicator that the merits, skills, human qualities of a person are recognized and appreciated. A grateful person has all the chances that they will definitely be helped the next time they ask for help.
Here the rule of the opposite action is triggered: where there is gratitude, there is help. Therefore, being grateful even in the event of a refusal is a very important rule of a successful request for help.
As gratitude (if desired and if possible), you can use not only the verbal form, but also more specific ways - mutual benefit, reciprocal service, cooperation, etc. How to ask for help - watch the video:
Learning to properly ask for help is very important and necessary. But it is equally important to help and support other people yourself. This is how a harmonious “mutual responsibility” is created, which brings positive and comfort to our lives and the lives of people around us.
