Low self-esteem and psychological techniques that allow you to increase self-confidence and achieve success in any business. The reasons for the development of uncertainty and ways to overcome children's complexes and fears. Self-confidence is the quality of a positive-minded, successful person who correctly evaluates his capabilities and can manage his life the way he wants. Each is endowed with individual abilities that, in principle, distinguish him from others. The set of these qualities forms the inclinations that he can develop and apply in life. But, unfortunately, in some cases, a person mistakenly evaluates himself, his own strength, while closing the door for himself to a brilliant future. That is why it is important to know how to gain self-confidence if its absence hinders the realization of life's needs.
Self-confidence as a step towards a better future
Very often, employers and owners of private firms who search for employees follow two basic rules. First: a person must meet all the requirements of the company and be able to do what is required of him. Second, it must be a valuable employee who will grow and develop for the good of the company, able to keep it afloat and multiply its results. Often in the business world, the ability to make useful contacts, make risky deals and not be afraid to come forward and declare yourself - the qualities of a real leader and specialist in their field. Such people are not afraid of the future, they control it. This is why the problem of self-confidence limits many and stands in the way of success.
Self-esteem is formed from deep childhood and even in adulthood. The surrounding people, events and type of temperament predispose some people to low self-esteem. A person is unable to evaluate and correctly comprehend his positive qualities, shows shyness in communication and for a long time cannot decide on an important step. Therefore, secondary positions and roles are ideal for him, but they will never ensure the realization of the potential that he has. The development of self-confidence will give an excellent chance to fulfill all desires, plans, ideas, release from constraint in communication and open it from a new side.
Influence of parenting on a child's self-doubt
Such a basic quality as confidence develops from early childhood. Adolescence has a strong influence on him, but adults, due to certain factors, can adjust their confidence. Childhood is the period of the first cognition of the world as it is, but first of all, it is the understanding of oneself in relation to other people. Parents in most cases care about the good self-esteem of their children, surrounding them with attention and care, but this is not always beneficial.
Constant punishment by parents
In many families, any misconduct on the part of a child is followed by a tirade of not too decent statements with insults. Such "education" sinks into the memory for life. Not even the very fact of insults, but the recognition by the closest people that the child is bad is not remarkable in any way and will not achieve anything in life. When a child grows up, such a negative assessment can transform into hidden feelings and fear that someday everyone will understand that he is a bad person and will finally stop communicating with him. The only way out of this situation is to lock yourself in your own experiences and go with the flow where life takes. In this case, children's fears and resentments will hinder the full development of the personality, career advancement and even the opportunity to start a love relationship, since a person is not sure that he is worthy of all these benefits.
Parents' realization of their dreams at the expense of the child
The intimate desire of parents is to make their child more successful than they were. Very often they direct children in a direction where once upon a time they themselves did not have enough strength or time to achieve the expected results. Thus, projecting their own dreams onto the child, the parents impose on him a huge burden of responsibility, which every day puts more and more pressure on his psyche. In the event of misconduct or failure, children experience all the disappointment of their parents, and this feeling in the future affects their lives. Having failed to meet their parental expectations, children feel guilty and reproach themselves for this. Even if it wasn't their dream. In the future, on a subconscious level, a feeling is fixed that a person will not be able to realize his plans, he will not be able to be better for someone and become worthy of someone. Therefore, insecure people often remain in inconspicuous jobs, where they do not need to communicate much, show taciturnity, excessive meekness with the opposite sex. Over the years, the burden of uncertainty accumulates and can manifest itself as aggression. Therefore, it is important to take full responsibility for the upbringing of children.
How a child's social life affects the formation of self-confidence
From the first days of kindergarten or school, the child finds himself in an open society, where many personalities with different characters are looking for points of contact. At first, the child realizes his difference, his personality, compares himself with others and, like a sponge, absorbs positive and negative qualities. At this age, when the child's psyche is just developing, any influence can have a lasting consequence. In adolescence, especially in girls, exaggerated feelings take all the attention and have a huge impact. First falls in love and disappointments seem to be the biggest events in life. A teenager pays great attention to his appearance and often seems ugly to himself. Such experiences can develop over time into an inferiority complex.
Children's taunts
Very often, in a children's or adolescent team, several people stand out who, for various reasons, present themselves as the best and can offend others both physically and mentally. In such cases, mockery, ridicule and humiliation take place. Even if they are rare, they can create feelings of inferiority in sensitive individuals.
Peer bullying always makes the child feel uncomfortable. He begins to hate his own body, his own name or surname, underestimates his own abilities, which other children laugh at. That is why in the future, moving up the career ladder is the risk of being in the same situation, which an insecure person will never go to.
Social trends in beauty standards
A teenager, who often looks for an example to inherit, looks up to the stars of show business and cinema. Their wide popularity makes girls want to go on various diets and starve. Often, adolescents have complexes associated with their appearance, they often remain for life. Therefore, an adult can be ashamed of his body, his appearance, or even his voice all his life. Such a person always wants to be in the shadows, avoids any opportunity to prove himself. With this behavior, he tries to hide his complexes.
Race and religion
Both in adolescence and later, unpleasant sensations can arise if a person is in a society in which people belong to different races, profess different religions. It is sometimes very difficult to identify yourself as belonging to a particular racial or religious group. A vulnerable, insecure person perceives his difference as a minus, while a successful person perceives it as a plus. Religion leaves its mark on the formation of a child's consciousness. She preaches modesty and obedience, restraint and meekness are welcomed. Such a person will never seem confident in himself, he will constantly be limited by the religious framework, but this does not mean that he cannot believe in himself. Some religious people are well aware of their own capabilities, realize their positive qualities and even use them. This definitely leads to success, both in a career and in relationships with the opposite sex.
Important! Peer distress can manifest as disorders that are more serious than self-doubt.
Ways to deal with self-doubt
As much as childhood and adolescence may have influenced the development of self-confidence, there are very few cases where this could not be corrected. Often, adult life evens out the lost balance, often people gain confidence with age. Very often mature adults do not know how to increase self-confidence. In some cases, targeted actions are needed to develop it. These are the advice of world-renowned psychologists that will help you independently adjust self-esteem so that a person can perceive himself as a non-defective person. Self-esteem is an important regulator of human behavior, its underestimation impedes career development, the opportunity to achieve better in life, to successfully marry or get married. Let's look at ways to deal with uncertainty in more detail:
- Redefining values … Very often, self-doubt leads to missed opportunities to change your life for the better. The moments when a person, due to his inherent insecurity, misses the opportunity to get to know the object of adoration and misses the chance to create a happy family are remembered for a lifetime. Moments that would necessarily lead to a promotion or getting a better job, new contracts or the opening of new fields of activity, due to self-doubt, remain just moments, but could become events that open the door to a new stage of life. Instead of replaying these moments in memory, it's easy to imagine what would have happened if then there was a drop of confidence and the best efforts were made. It is on these feelings that you need to base your mood, if you need to raise self-esteem and self-confidence. Remember that uncertainty robs away many chances to make a difference in your life.
- Risk as part of success … Most hesitation due to an informed decision or action that requires self-confidence is inextricably linked to risk. Risk is a part of our life, which excludes a clear monotony and boring order of things. It should be taken as a chance to achieve better results, and not as an opportunity to worsen your condition. It is known that people who are not confident in their own abilities do not like to take risks. They treat their decisions carefully and carefully, fearing a negative outcome. Psychologists recommend taking risks, trying to prove yourself where you have long wanted, but uncertainty did not allow. There is no need to be afraid of failure. If the risk does not meet the expectations, the person will gain valuable experience, he always has a chance to make a second attempt.
- Human dignity in dealing with insecurity … In order to finally get rid of excessive self-doubt, it is necessary to remember about your strengths, about those qualities that distinguish the individual from other people. Everyone has certain specific virtues, skills, skills that he can be proud of, even if only to himself. You must not forget about them every day and value yourself as a person. Some psychologists recommend creating special lists where it is worth recording the list of good qualities, constantly replenishing them with new ones.
- Planning your actions … It is very important to be able to prioritize the most important things that need to be done first. Organization and planning without the right to indent will help with this. If a person strictly decides to take any action, brings it into his schedule and decides despite his uncertainty, then every time he will get better and better. You should not postpone events that require confidence until tomorrow, the right day will never come, and time and opportunity will be lost. This is why young people are often interested in how to develop self-confidence. The answer is simple - to look your fear in the eye and boldly go forward, ignoring your own complexes.
How to gain self-confidence - watch the video:
Self-confidence is an important quality that allows a person to actively communicate with others, make their own adjustments to plans and show themselves from their best side. Each person can bring a lot of useful things to society, but some, because of their insecurity, miss this opportunity, and with it the chance to realize their needs. Excessive embarrassment, shyness and insecurity deprives you of the full range of opportunities. Therefore, getting rid of this problem is very important.
