Communication with a former lover and the feasibility of this decision. The article will show the behavior model of a woman who decided to maintain friendly relations with her ex-man. Friendship with an ex is a competent behavior of a woman who was able to correctly end the relationship with a partner without mutual reproaches and scandals. On rare occasions, a couple remains on good terms with each other after breaking up. However, while maintaining communication with the former gentleman, you must be extremely tactful and careful person in order to avoid negative consequences in the future.
Rationale for friendship with an ex-man
In this matter, you should find out for yourself the feasibility of such communication with a former partner. Psychologists advise taking note of the positive and negative aspects of such a decision.
Arguments "for" communication after breaking up with a man
In some situations, there are positive moments in friendship with the former object of passion, which look like this:
- Support of a loved one … In a mutual separation, people usually do not feel negative emotions for each other. In difficult times, they are able to bring peace to the soul of the sufferer, who was once their soul mate without claims to renew the relationship.
- The ability to work together … Office romances have become not uncommon in the work collective, so their termination can adversely affect the further careers of both colleagues. With a competent parting with a partner, such a problem will not arise, because former lovers will be able to continue their work together without clarifying the relationship.
- Comfortable communication with a common child … If the former couple is connected by a son or daughter, then you will definitely have to contact the ex-chosen one. If a woman does not oppose a child's meeting with an adequate father, then this has a beneficial effect on the psyche of her baby, even if he is already in adolescence.
- Keeping in touch with friends … After the couple breaks up, as necessary, you have to contact people who have a relationship with the former gentleman. Therefore, bringing discord into a common company of acquaintances is not always the right decision for an angry ex-spouse.
- Friendship check … It is in such life situations that you can realize for yourself who is in your immediate environment. Very often, while continuing to communicate with a former gentleman, a servant of two masters comes to light.
Note! The reasons for continuing your friendship with your ex are often in a positive direction. If the separation happened without mutual reproaches and insults, then it is really possible to continue communication after the breakup of the love affair.
Arguments against friendship with a former partner
As you enter the minefield of past relationships, you should keep in mind the following warnings from psychologists regarding contact with your past:
- Inability to put an end … In many cases, when parting, it is necessary to burn all the bridges behind you. If the love affair has exhausted itself and the feelings have died out, then it is necessary to reduce contact with the ex-partner to a minimum.
- The collapse of a new relationship … On the horizon of a woman, a new admirer may always appear, who definitely will not like friendship with another man. The situation can be heated to the limit by the fact that she will maintain a warm relationship with her former lover.
- Jealousy for a new partner … The feeling of possessiveness is inherent in many women, which is not a pathology. Friendship between exes, when a new passion appears in a man, often ends in a scandal because of the claims to him from the second half from the past novel.
- Reality of relapse … They do not enter the river twice, but this does not always correspond to reality. Thoughts according to the scheme “maybe we were in a hurry to leave” or “against the background of other men, my ex is not so bad” can lead to a renewal of the relationship, which does not always end happily.
- Possibility of intimacy … The danger of so-called relapse often occurs when lovers in the past, while remaining friends, may find themselves under the influence of alcohol or out of habit in the same bed. The result of such actions usually does not lead to anything good, because then comes remorse and rejection of the situation that happened.
- Substitution of concepts … Fake friendships are very often the desire to keep your ex in control. If one of the couple, which has ceased to exist, has not completely let go of a loved one, then he will poison his life under the guise of the word "friendship".
- New betrayal … People usually don't leave without a good reason. If a couple cheated on the part of a man, then psychologists do not advise staying with him as friends. Having betrayed physically, such a person is capable of destroying his former chosen one and morally.
- Transfer of unnecessary information … Former partners are always aware of all the events taking place in their lives. In moments of revelation, they shared the most intimate, which a stranger does not need to know. Any woman is in danger due to the fact that, as a friend, her ex-boyfriend will spread information of an intimate nature about her.
Attention! Every woman has the right to decide for herself the question of the advisability of communicating with her ex-man. In this case, you should weigh all the pros and cons of such a friendship, so as not to complicate your life in the future.
Celebrity relationships with ex-partners
Some people want to project their existing situation onto the behavior of famous personalities. Friendship with a former man for these eminent persons does not always go smoothly and according to a clearly defined scenario.
Public figures who dispersed with each other with minimal emotional losses:
- Irina Dubtsova and Roman Chernitsyn … The famous singer with her ex-husband, the lead singer of the "Plazma" group, communicates to this day. In addition, she is on excellent terms with the girlfriend of the famous artist.
- Jennifer Lopez and Mark Anthony … The ending of their romance can be considered a classic example for the perfect ending of a love affair. After the divorce, they continue not only to be friends, but also to treat each other tenderly.
- Leyla Aliyeva and Emin Agalarov … The daughter of the President of Azerbaijan could not save her marriage with a musician and businessman for reasons unknown to the public. However, even after parting, Emin is not only friends with his ex-wife, but also continues to treat her adopted daughter with all responsibility.
Even the most loving hearts, after a significant disagreement, can become sworn enemies. At the same time, the attempt of a famous woman to remain a friend with a former partner for some couples ended as follows:
- Madonna and Guy Ritchie … This colorful couple initially surprised the public by the fact that the spouse was 10 years older than her chosen one. The singer tried to communicate with her ex-husband, but it all ended in mutual insults and the payment of $ 70 million to Guy Ritchie's account.
- Mayakovsky and Lilya Brik … This informal couple had a habit of parting periodically. Even after communicating with other women, the genius poet was friends with the most femme fatale in his life, who shamelessly used him after a break in the material plane.
Friendship rules with a former gentleman
If a woman nevertheless decided to contact a man from her past, then it is necessary to behave as follows:
- Distance … Communication with an ex-boyfriend should be defined with some framework in order to avoid conflicts in the future. Initially, it is necessary to notify him that the format of the relationship has changed and will look exclusively in the form of friendship between a man and a woman.
- Abstraction … The distance does not always help the fair sex to be friends with the former gentleman who is dear to her. Therefore, it is necessary to visit a psychotherapist who will write down a special rehabilitation scheme to solve the problem.
- Tact … Some ladies, when parting, try to hurt the pride of their former lover. The main rule of friendship with a partner from the past is correct behavior with him without analyzing the events that compromise him. All the points are set, so it's time for adequate communication after breaking up with your soul mate.
- Maximum honesty … Lying in contact with an ex-lover can turn the friendship with your ex-boyfriend into a real war. Psychologists advise, in a calm atmosphere, to discuss a plan for further action with a couple who broke up.
- Lack of flirting … Coquetry is not prohibited only when a woman is in a free search for a new life partner. However, with a friendship with a former lover, psychologists do not recommend a lady to pretend to be in the presence of her object of past passion.
- Minimum personal information … The expression that the less you know - you sleep better, quite accurately fits this case. It is not necessary for a former gentleman to talk about what is happening in life at the moment with his ex-girlfriend.
- Illustrative example … Some men, if they are not dominated by the owner complex, may in this case want to start a new love relationship. A woman will not only have to accept his choice, but also show maximum correctness in communicating with a new girlfriend.
- Refusal of the usual style of behavior … Psychologists strongly recommend that you rid your ex-partner of the effect of déjà vu. It is necessary to completely exclude from conversations all the memories and memorable dates to which the gentleman from the past is used to.
- Common acquaintances limit … With some friends, you don't need to have enemies either. When parting with a man, you should think about the list of your closest associates. Fans of your ex-boyfriend are best removed from your field of view temporarily to avoid conflict between stakeholders.
- Avoiding alcohol … Hot drinks in some cases lead to rather sad consequences. This factor is clearly shown in the film "Best Friend", where childhood friends conceived a child under intoxicated couples. However, Hollywood comedies do not always correspond to reality, because communication under the influence of a green serpent leads, at best, only to poor health.
- Value analysis … Sometimes one word can replace a hundred actions. A man who was explained the impossibility of continuing a relationship can understand a clear decoding of the collapse of a love affair due to different views on life. However, it is necessary to explain to the injured party that when love disappears, friendship is not forbidden.
- Certain prohibitions … Families are only good when it comes to a comedy series. Communication with a former admirer must be carried out on neutral territory and with the consent of a man to this meeting, who has become a new contender for the lady's hand and heart.
- The rule of "forget everything" … When communicating with a former admirer, it is best to mentally completely cross out the past with him. At the slightest hint from him regarding the time spent together, it is necessary to turn off the memory by concentrating on another object.
- Lack of compliments … The times of saying nice things to each other are irrevocably gone, because the couple ceased to exist. Communication with a fan from the past should be reduced to a discussion of neutral issues that worry a man and a woman who have already become free.
How to be friends with an ex-man - watch the video:
The question of how to be friends with a former partner quite often concerns young people who do not have the skills to communicate with the opposite sex. However, a mature woman can also find herself in a similar situation, because no person can be insured against her. With this problem, the main thing is to remain calm with a clear analysis of the current situation and a competent approach to its solution.