Psychology of early marriages, problems, dignity and negative aspects, possible consequences of young marital relations. Early marriage is an officially legalized relationship between a boy and a girl, who are not psychologically always prepared for an independent adult life, and financially may depend on their parents.
The psychology of early marriage
It is not easy to meet your half among the mass of people - all are good and beautiful. But now He and She met eyes, a spark of mutual attraction ran between them. They unconsciously reached out towards each other. The outbreak of love brought the young people down the aisle. The family union became the logical conclusion of a hot relationship.
No wonder it is said that marriages are made in heaven. According to Divine providence, hearts are united in order to give birth to those who are like them in marriage, that is, to continue their kindred.
However, not everyone is happy with family relationships. In everyday life, marriages are not uncommon, which cannot be said in a high solemn style. Well, we got married, and it's good, God forbid, to live happily. There are reasons for such forced alliances.
In most countries, the legislator has set the age at which a marriage can be contracted. According to the “Universal Declaration of Human Rights” (Art. 16/2) and the UN Convention “Convention on Consent to Marriage, Age of Marriage and Registration of Marriages” (Art. 1/1), “Marriage is not allowed without full and free consent both sides….
In the Russian Federation, those who have reached the age of 18 can officially marry (Article 12 of the RF IC). In special cases stipulated by law, in some constituent entities of the Russian Federation, for example, Tatarstan, the Moscow region, you can get married at 14.
In Ukraine, girls can go down the aisle at 17. Minors from the age of 16 are given the right to marriage. Until 2012, 14-year-olds enjoyed this right. The increase in marriageable age is motivated by the fact that at such a young age, not all adolescents reach mental, mental and physical maturity. Marriages of adolescents that are too early are a burden on parents. Regardless of the country, be it even in Western Europe, where the standard of living is much higher. Therefore, they do not formally formalize their relationship there too early, but strive for this only when a man becomes financially independent. Before that, young people live in a civil "community".
In Russia and Ukraine, the mentality is different. Sex at a young age (14-15 years old) is not something out of the ordinary for a long time. Psychologists can find an explanation for this phenomenon. This is the fall of morality in society, the desire for a beautiful life, imposed by low-standard Western film production, which has flooded the screens of cinemas and television.
The desire to experience strong adult sensations throws boys and girls into each other's arms. Today everyone knows how to protect themselves. But then came the "bust", the young lady became pregnant. Once it was a great tragedy, often leading to the death of a "stumbled" girl. Now times are different - parents seem to understand everything, and in school, teachers and classmates will not nail the pillory.
Young couples seem to find the understanding of adults and seek to legitimize their feelings. But, nevertheless, a marriage that is too early raises a lot of criticism, the attitude towards it in society is far from unambiguous.
Physically young people are not yet strong, how will early marriage affect their health? And the question of housing, because the newlyweds, as a rule, want to live separately, but do not work yet. And if they are studying, what about their studies? And who will take care of the children when they arrive? This is a big financial problem not only for the parents of the bride and groom, but also for the state.
How will a child grow up in a family where young fathers and mothers do not yet have a specialty and are sitting on their parents' necks themselves? What kind of a strong, healthy family - a cell of society - cementing its moral, moral foundations, can we talk about?
It's important to know! Early marriage is a great physical and psychological stress on a young, not yet formed body. Not all young couples pass this test of fate.
The main reasons for early marriage
Early marriage ages vary. Marriages between minors are possible. In Russia, the age in special cases is set from 14 years old. Marriages between adults are not uncommon. By Western standards, they are still premature, since young people have not yet become completely independent. In our society, marriages of 18-20 year olds are completely normal.
Reasons for juvenile marriages
We will not touch upon child marriages in eastern countries, there are completely different views on life and the role of women in the family and society. There, a 12-year-old girl can be forced into marriage even to an old man, just because the family is poor and starving.
In our country, the reason for early marriages of minors is, as a rule, pregnancy. He walked with her and "joked", and she took and "pouted". At such a young age, feelings are naked, everything is perceived more by feelings, when it seems that the relationship is for centuries.
And if it was not a chance meeting, for example, at a party, when teenagers can have sex under wine or drugs (in our time such "love" is not uncommon), the young couple wants to formalize their relationship. Of course, this is an unpleasant surprise for the parents of a young couple, but there is nowhere to go. You need to somehow help your children.
Another reason can be, oddly enough, love. A hot feeling, which has no reason, when it seems that one cannot live without each other. And all the arguments of adults to young lovers are not in the mind. Youth is categorical: either all or nothing! And parents are forced to agree to the wedding of their children.
In our time, it has become much less hypocrites who condemn such early marriages. Although, undoubtedly, pregnancy at a young age is fraught with complications for the girl's still not fully matured body. And many other problems await young people in their future life together.
With the appearance of a child, everyday life begins, for someone love turns into an ordinary attachment, in which a burden is suddenly seen. It is not uncommon for such early marriages to break up. Although this is not a fact. Only the help of parents helps to keep the family together.
Interesting to know! In Russia in 2016, only 705 young men under the age of 18 married. There were 6825 minors who got married.
Reasons for early marriages at 18-20 years old
In Russia, the number of early marriages has dropped significantly in recent years. The age of marriage has increased accordingly. According to statistics, men try to legalize their relationship for the first time at 27, 8 years old. In women, this age is slightly lower, within 25 years. Psychologists also advise starting family life no earlier than this time, when the most favorable period for the birth of a child. However, this does not mean that getting married at 18 is inappropriate. For example, in Russia in 2010, about 1,800 men and 16,000 women married at this age. As you can see, there are much more girls who want to "jump out" in marriage than guys who want family life.
Today, such marriages are 4 times less, but the question of the reasons for early marriages remains relevant. These include:
- Unplanned pregnancy … She scares, the child may be left without a father, and if the relationship is even casual, and the guy agrees to sign, the girl goes down the aisle.
- Feeling lonely … The girl is uncomfortable in the family, for example, her parents have long been living at odds, they do not pay attention to her. She seeks to find warmth in a relationship with a man. Agrees to marry him. The same feelings can haunt a guy. He finds himself a girlfriend and leaves home.
- Restriction of freedom … The opposite option is that the family has too "cool" custody. And a step cannot be taken without the permission of mother and father. Everyone is afraid that the child will "go on a spree". And she already has a boyfriend, they have a close relationship. She seeks to escape from the heavy parental hand, wants to get married.
- Love … In the end, we must not forget that it exists. Youthful maximalism dictates its rights, lovers want to be always there. The arguments of reason are obscured. Let's say there is no roof of our own, with not very good finances. Okay, if the parents are wealthy and help solve these problems.
- Unlucky love … First love is often unhappy. She loved him so much, and He left her. In revenge, such girls marry the unloved. There is nothing good here, such love, as a rule, ends in divorce.
- Strict parents … He and She have been dating for a long time. Parents approve of friendship and want them to get married. This coincides with their aspiration. Such a couple can be happy all their life.
- Marriage of convenience … She early marries a wealthy man in order, for example, to leave for another country.
- Striving for independence … Young people are not judicious and calculating for their age. They are confident in their abilities and want complete independence in their actions. For them, early marriage is a completely self-sufficient life, without excessive care, unnecessary teachings and reprimands.
It's important to know! Early marriage is the desire of young people to be independent. Such a relationship should be maintained, and in no case condemned.
The positive side of early marriage
The problem with green marriages is not age, but maturity. In the readiness to be equally responsible, which does not always happen in life. Therefore, we should talk about the positive and negative side of long-term marriage.
The wedding was noisy, the guests dispersed, family everyday life began. What changes for the better in their already new family life did the newlyweds feel? And what psychologists can say about this. What advantages of early marriage can they point to?
There is an opinion that the positive side of early marriage is:
- Love … At a young age, the feeling is bright, young people love selflessly. For example, lovers can passionately hug and kiss right on the street, not paying attention to anyone. Strong passion, like a magnet, attracts loving hearts. They cannot live a minute without each other, it seems to them that this is forever! Great love strengthens relationships. He and She seek to legitimize them in order to create a family.
- Wedding … She is in a white dress, He is in a strict suit, guests, a solemn wedding at the registry office, Mendelssohn's march, exchange of rings, flowers, gifts, a photo for memory - this is bright and unforgettable, for a lifetime!
- Youth and health … They are in love, they feel great. No medical contraindications. Difficulties are not afraid of them. True love will overcome all obstacles! A great and wonderful life is ahead!
- Social maturity … Early marriage forms the behavioral traits of an adult who is aware of the responsibility for his deeds and actions in front of his family and society. If a person matured early, he will think about how to support his family, and this requires good earnings, promotion at work is necessary.
- Independence … Newlyweds are a new independent family. They are free in their decisions and actions. Parents can no longer impose their will on them.
- A responsibility … He has to take care of her. Let's say help with the housework, go to the store to shop. She is obliged to take on some of the responsibilities. For example, to keep the apartment clean, and not only to demand a salary from the husband, but to feed him delicious food when he comes home from work.
- Easier to find a job … Nowadays, it is quite difficult for young people to find it. Employers take experienced people, prefer family ones, as they are more responsible in their duties. True, this only applies to men. It is more difficult for married young women with employment, they can go on maternity leave, and the owner does not like this.
- It's easier to build a life together … People with established views and habits are hard to "rub" to each other. In early marriage, this is much easier to do. Habits have not yet become ossified, for the sake of a happy life together, you can painlessly change them.
- Stimulus for learning … Early marriage stimulates you to increase your educational qualifications. For young people to live well, you need to earn good money. For this you need to have a specialty. It is impossible to get it without study. It can be a vocational school, technical school, institute. With education, you can count on career growth, therefore, the family will not be in need.
- Leaving bad company … The guy and the girl got married, now there is no need to spend time aimlessly, for example, in a company where they have fun with a glass of vodka in their hand or smoke hashish.
It's important to know! Early marriage is not a panacea for all life's difficulties. It all depends on the nature and attitudes of young people who decide to start a family.
Cons of early marriage
Under certain conditions, all the pluses can become the minuses of early marriage. For example, the passion was great, and did not have time to formalize their relationship, as it turned out that they loved "wrong" - where did the feelings go !? It turns out that there was just a sexual craving, which is quite natural for youth, but there was no smell of real love.
The disadvantages of early marriage can be:
- Too young age … The haste of a wedding may be dictated by the bride's pregnancy. Another option is when a guy marries under duress, otherwise he will be imprisoned for rape. There is no hot love and never has been. Just a situational marriage. There will never be happiness in such a family, and the relationship will be built on mistrust, enmity and even hatred. Such married couples quickly break up.
- "They're children!" … Just from school, and already in the registry office. And physically they have not yet matured, and the psyche is still unsettled. The difficulties of family life are too much for me. A real family didn't work out. Social and civic maturity is lacking. The marriage is immature, it falls apart.
- Psychological incompatibility … It seemed that they loved each other to the grave, and when they began to live together, it turned out that they were completely different people: tastes and habits are different. Mutual enmity begins to grow, up to and including assault. Such "lovers" even tear the pillow into equal parts during divorce.
- Financial insolvency … We agreed early, but there is no specialty and no desire to get it. Chronically there is not enough money, there is nothing to live on. Lack of money and everyday problems seize, and there is nowhere to wait for help. The family suffers, the wife blames her husband for everything, he blames her. The ending of the relationship is sad - divorce.
- Impossibility of compromise … Nobody wants to give in, to meet each other halfway. He believes that he is in charge of the family. She does not agree, rereads, there is constant swearing between them, for example, who will go to the store today. Such a relationship cannot last long.
- Birth of a child … It is the cornerstone of family relationships. Caring for a baby can complicate the relationship of young spouses. Let's say that all the worries about the child are shifted to the woman. The spouse only gets off with the phrase that he is busy with work, he has no time.
It's important to know! An early marriage can save a guy and a girl from bad friends, but it will not save their relationship if they are psychologically unprepared for it.
Possible consequences of early marriage
At one time, the UN adopted several conventions, which declare that early marriage violates the fundamental rights of women: to receive quality medical care, to education and some others.
Therefore, the consequences of early marriages are more negative than positive. They do too much harm to the physical and mental health of women. At a minor age, this is due to the premature onset of intimate life, when the genitals have not yet finally formed. Pregnancy and childbirth also often proceed with complications and often end in the death of a young woman in labor.
The risk of dying from childbirth at the age of 15-18 is twice as high as at the age of 20. In younger people, it is seven times higher. The appearance of a child often leads to social isolation of the young mother. If she lives in her husband's house and is cut off from her parents and friends, this can lead to serious psychological problems, for example, stress.
Apart from her family, she sees nothing, and if she is not yet studying, she will not receive an education. As a result, he becomes dependent on her husband, in fact, becomes a slave. May be subject to domestic violence, including sexual violence.
It's important to know! In most cases, early marriage is a forced union of a man and a woman. It does not allow you to enjoy all the fullness of the happy, carefree life available at a young age for most adolescents. Watch the video about early marriage:
Not all early marriages are unhappy. There are also positive examples, but this is only in the case when the young couple turned out to be mature beyond their years and realized their responsibility when entering a completely different time in their lives. If the young people begin to live according to the saying that “the darlings scold, only amuse themselves,” they are unlikely to be happy. Constant squabbles and scandals will not bring peace to the family. Such a marriage has no prospects and will quickly disintegrate.
