Emotional and psychological aspects of trauma after rape and the main stages of its course. Ways to get rid of unpleasant memories and the main approaches to rehabilitation. Post-rape post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is an emotional and psychological response to a shock factor that is completely normal. A psycho-traumatic situation knocks a person out of the rut of life and does not allow him to carry out daily activities.
Description and mechanism of development of trauma after rape
The problematic of statistical studies of injuries from rape is due to the low demand for help. Those who have experienced similar situations rarely talk about it due to various reasons.
Some are ashamed of what happened and do not want to share with anyone, while others have an inferiority complex. It manifests itself as a feeling of depravity or unworthiness, sometimes there is a feeling that the rape has imposed a certain mark, which distinguishes a person from others. Sometimes people withdraw into themselves, not letting anyone into their inner world, without revealing their feelings and secrets. This is why diagnosing trauma after violence is so difficult.
Naturally, a person's age plays a huge role. In childhood, the trauma of rape can have a very strong impact on the formation of personality, lay the main focus of psychological problems. The child's psyche, which is not quite ripe, is very susceptible to such traumatic situations. In the future, they can develop into phobias, disorders and even mental illness. In adulthood, there are many psychological defense mechanisms that help ease the response to rape, but in some cases they fail. Suffering from the physical and emotional trauma that has been inflicted can last from several hours to many years. In some cases, a lifetime is not enough to recover from the violence.
At its core, this is the process of invading a person's personal space against his will. The loss of power over oneself, one's body is a huge trauma for each person and can manifest itself in completely different ways, depending on the personality.
First, there is a feeling of disgust for oneself, for one's thoughts, goals, plans and physical needs. A person does not feel himself sufficiently protected and can close in himself. Secondly, there is a total loss of trust in people, the feeling of anxiety and anxiety does not leave, but settles for a very long time inside the victim of violence.
The causes of psychological trauma after rape
The character of the personality plays a great role in the way of reaction. Melancholic or anxiously suspicious people will experience psychotrauma much more difficult than hypertensive and sanguine people. Naturally, for everyone, violence will be a blow and cause a response, but its strength may depend on the person himself.
Rape of children is a separate category. They are easily suggestible, more gullible and physically weaker. This makes them vulnerable to sexual abuse, both by strangers and loved ones.
Incest in families leaves a stain on the human psyche for a very long time. If the child knows the perpetrator well, the situation becomes much more complicated. The association of trauma with a father, mother, or other close relatives forever changes personal views on creating a family in the future.
In some cases of childhood violence, such people are afraid to start their own families, as this is associated with a traumatic situation. Some, on the contrary, are inclined to promiscuous sexual relations and consider their lives lost for a long time. Violence by a stranger as a crime differs only in the intensity of the experience. The victim's feelings are not tied to a specific situation, but to the opposite sex. For example, if the rapist was a man, the victim will develop certain negative ideas about the strong half of humanity. In the future, this can affect both personal life and work, friendships.
The main symptoms of trauma after rape
The clinical picture of trauma after rape unfolds gradually and is described as a sequence of several phases. Their duration and severity depend on the individual:
- Acute stage … This period takes from several days to several weeks. It comes immediately after the rape. At first, the person becomes too agitated, restless with a hysterical component. In some cases, he can, on the contrary, withdraw into himself, be too calm and quiet. At the beginning, there may be attacks of anxiety, crying. It is very difficult to concentrate in the acute stage after violence, the person is absent-minded and constantly forgets about something. At work, he does not cope with daily duties. No matter what the first reaction was, a cold, emotionlessness develops later. Any events around seem so unimportant, and the world that was before the rape is fundamentally changing.
- Subacute stage … It differs from the previous one in that, as a result of long thoughts, a person nevertheless decides to rationalize his life, adapt to society. Naturally, communication with relatives and friends has not yet returned to its previous level, there is a background of anxiety, but the victim noticeably hides it. The easiest way to start returning to your normal routine and pace of life is to deny your past violence. At that moment it seems that if you do not think about it, but simply forget, it will become much easier. To bring themselves back to their senses and return the emotional part of life, they often decide on drastic changes in appearance, haircut, hair dyeing, change of job, living conditions. A person is trying with all his might to create more comfortable conditions for himself in order to realize the positive aspects of life, to show that he is no longer the one who has become a victim.
- Visible adaptation … This stage excludes social maladjustment. The layman returns to the normal pace of life, joins the work collective and performs the same duties as before the trauma. Thoughts about violence are much less frequent, as the problem becomes more subdued. They run away from memories in any way - extra hours at work, hobbies, sports, smoking, alcohol and even drugs. Everything that distracts and pushes the past far into the subconscious is actively and successfully used. Depression, bouts of anxiety, excitement are periodically covered. The character is steadily changing to a more pragmatic side. If trauma does not find a way out through emotions, it affects the somatic. There are various painful sensations that can mimic diseases, appetite, sleep and well-being deteriorate.
- Permission … This stage does not mean at all that the problem of rape in the past will disappear forever, but the person becomes much easier. He accepts his bitter life experience as something unchanging and present in his memories. This moment is associated with the desire to move forward and the realization that all is not lost. By adequately assessing the situation and the damage caused, at this stage, you can find many positive moments that will allow you to carry out daily activities, communicate with people, start relationships and be happy. Naturally, throughout life, flashbacks of memories, nightmares can be observed, but this is rather an exception. From the category of "victims" a person goes to "survivors." A psycho-traumatic situation becomes only a part of the past and completely ceases to influence the present.
Important! In almost every phase, there is a risk of developing a depressive state, which, against the background of self-loathing and a feeling of guilt for what happened, can contribute to the emergence of suicidal thoughts.
Ways to deal with post-rape trauma
Regardless of how a person experiences violence, withdraws into himself or shows an overly emotional reaction, it is necessary to be able to deal with this condition. The presence of rape in life does not mean at all that you need to throw yourself into an asocial way of life, start drinking, smoking and having promiscuous sexual relationships. Incest in a family in childhood does not mean at all that a person who has become a victim of it cannot have children of their own. In most cases, the experience remains in the past and should not affect the future in any way.
Time
Perhaps the best advice for someone who has suffered trauma after being raped is to try to wait. Time and work on yourself can work wonders, and they are also an excellent antidepressant. Any bad memory fades over time, but of course it does not disappear forever. This does not mean at all that after the violence it is necessary to wait out a year in a bunker, isolating oneself from everyone. In such cases, you need to try to return to the previous rhythm of life, but you should understand that you should not expect immediate immediate results. The effect of any psychotherapy, going to work or trying to forget the past will come only after a while. There is no panacea for the mental pain experienced immediately after being abused. All stages, to a greater or lesser degree of severity, must be passed, and only then will there come a feeling of liberation from the heavy burden of past events. Our memory is able to filter out unpleasant events by itself. If a person does not remember the trauma in the past, thinks about other, more important things, very soon the violence will remain just a part of history.
Getting rid of guilt
Almost always, after a psychological trauma during rape, a person begins to delve into himself, looking for the wrong paths that were chosen. The victim almost always blames himself for what happened, even if he doesn't realize it. Blaming the abuser is the advantage of a confident person with high self-esteem and motivation. After the violence, the feelings of most victims are literally trampled. They begin to consider themselves inferior or defective, the experience they have experienced imposes an unpleasant stigma that they constantly feel. You can get rid of it with the help of a qualified specialist. Thus, even criminal rape, where a completely outsider becomes the offender, is perceived not as an accident, but as fate or punishment. Self-esteem is rapidly falling, and the layman practically compares himself to a complete failure, deprives him of the opportunity to rehabilitate himself in his eyes and despises his body. Such thoughts can lead to extremely negative consequences. After the violence, some believe that if this happened to them, it means that they are guilty of something or deserve a similar punishment of fate. First of all, in such cases, you need to take care of your self-esteem, form the correct opinion about your own merits and life. It must be remembered that violence is always the fault of the person doing the wrong, not the victim. Having correctly realized what happened, a person gets rid of the feeling that he deserved such an attitude towards himself. An inferiority complex often develops in children who have been raped by their parents. It seems to them that they are not able to justify the hopes of their mentors, therefore they consider themselves unworthy of it. An experienced psychotherapist will help form the correct perception of the experienced situation, teach you how not to blame yourself for what happened.
Return to normal sex life
No matter how trauma is experienced, it is always very difficult to resume sexual life after an incident of violence. After that, triggers are formed - special associations with a place, words, sensations that remind of unpleasant moments. When attempting to relive past rape, the victim often forgets that sexual relations are a necessary part of an adult's life. So there is a fear of intimacy, fear of a possible repetition of the situation. The individual is afraid to feel the same as during the rape, so it is very difficult to decide on such a step. In many cases, people simply abandon close relationships, arguing that they do not feel the need for them, emotional coldness and the attempt to close in oneself flows into frigidity. The most difficult thing is to separate the sensations that are stored in memory as rape, and those that can be felt during sex with a loved one. Naturally, the reminder will be present at first, memories will be restlessly returning to that unfortunate moment, but this will not always be the case.
In order to overcome the fear of sexual intercourse, you need to find something different, new, which was not in the rape, and concentrate on this. The partner's attentiveness and sensitivity, tenderness and affection will protect from unpleasant associations and indicate specific boundaries between violent sexual intercourse and normal sex life.
How to get rid of trauma after rape - watch the video:
Post-rape trauma is not always a dark spot on one's reputation or an event not worth remembering. First of all, it is an impetus to revise your own values in life. Many victims of violence become successful after adaptation. They have increased demands on themselves and on others, the accumulated anger and aggression in the right direction can contribute to career growth.
