Psychological infertility as a key factor in problems with conceiving and bearing a child. How to identify it, what are the causes of occurrence in men and women, as well as how to get rid of it, the article will tell. Psychological infertility is an acquired dysfunction of the reproductive system in women and men that prevents couples from having a child. This factor can also cause problems with bearing a baby, frequent breakdowns and miscarriages. By identifying the reasons and understanding the hidden fears, you can find the right keys to solving the problem.
Description and types of infertility
Infertility is a pervasive problem facing humanity. Promiscuous sex, unhealthy diet, irregularities of the day and night, stress and catastrophic ecology - these are the few indirect causes of this disease.
But before claiming that the couple is infertile, it is worth undergoing a comprehensive examination at a family planning center. To establish such a diagnosis, it is necessary to pass a number of tests and undergo genetic studies. The gynecologist-reproductologist, urologist will be able to assess the condition only after undergoing a comprehensive examination. It is important to note that not only the woman, but also the future dad must undergo a full diagnosis, because both parents are involved in the process of conception. In reproductology, 22 causes of female and 18 causes of male infertility are distinguished. Among them are age-related, hormonal and genetic disorders. In the presence of some, a small adjustment with drugs will be enough, in other cases, serious complex treatment will be required.
However, in recent years, couples who are almost completely healthy, but cannot conceive, increasingly turn to doctors. Moreover, doctors begin to talk about infertility only after a year of living together and regular sexual intercourse. If it is not possible to identify a health problem, the couple is diagnosed with "infertility of unknown etiology" or psychological.
The unknown diagnosis is very frightening. Naturally, the question arises of how to get rid of psychological infertility. One should start by identifying the reasons that led to such consequences.
The main causes of psychological infertility
Every person is afraid of something in his life. For one it is a fear of heights, for another - a fear of flying. But it's still strange when a woman is afraid of getting pregnant. The idea that has arisen in the head grows into a threat to the body, which provokes the inability to conceive. The psychological factor of infertility does not arise by itself. There are a number of internal concerns about it. And both women and men are subject to such fears.
Causes of psychological infertility in women
Being a mother is happiness. However, some women subconsciously put themselves a taboo on having a child. For this, there are natural or acquired fears that provoke the emergence of psychological infertility. These include:
- Fear of being alone … Many women fear that their husband may leave them with the baby in his arms. This fact is practically instilled in the pages of fashion magazines and is confirmed by unsuccessful examples of divorced girlfriends: a man needs a child as long as he needs a woman.
- Fear of the pregnancy itself … There are girls whose own feeling of themselves is not commensurate with the child inside. For them, pregnancy is something like an intervention in the inner world, although they have great sympathy for other people's children. It is this psychological type who would rather use the services of a surrogate mother than decide to give birth himself.
- Worries about your health and your unborn child … When diagnosing certain diseases, the fairer sex themselves are afraid of getting pregnant, so as not to infect their children (for example, AIDS). Also, strong pressure on the receptive psyche comes from TV screens and posts on social networks, where they constantly ask for help for a seriously ill child. The woman seems to begin to try on the situation for herself, she is seized by panic. She is afraid that trouble may happen to her, and she will not have enough mental and physical strength to go through all the tests.
- Fear of childbirth … There is a myth that there can be no more pain in a woman's life than labor pains. Some are afraid that they will not be able to endure the contractions or, what is more, they will die on the delivery table without seeing their baby. It is this psychological type of personality, if it becomes pregnant, it often loses a child. And in case of successful gestation, she will ask for a cesarean section, just not to experience pain.
- Fear of losing the achieved results in a career … The group of prejudices is quite extensive, which includes the fear of unemployment and lack of demand. Indeed, during the period of the decree, a younger, prettier and more confident girl may come. It is not difficult to assume if she still turns out to be a strong specialist, in whose favor the choice will be made at the end of the decree. And since most work unofficially, it is very easy to lose a job, because the company is not burdened with legal obligations.
- Anxiety about being obsessed with a child … This fear is generated by the stories of tired mothers who have no time either for themselves or for their spouse, and the main desire for life is to sleep. If a girl actively communicates with at least a couple of such friends, while leading a rich and cheerful life, she is unlikely to consciously want to change everything for the sake of the imaginary happiness of motherhood.
- Fear of spoiling the figure … Postpartum forms are what women are most afraid of. Stretch marks, greasy belly, cellulite legs and much more - and this is not a complete list of possible changes. After childbirth, girls quickly begin to gain excess weight and subsequently very hard to drive it down, which is the result of hormonal disruption or hereditary features. All this scares them. Especially those who are not used to limiting themselves in food and regularly going to the gym or have already heard reproaches from men in relation to their "blurry" wives.
- Fear of public opinion … This applies, for example, to women over 35 or, conversely, too young. Similar emotions appear when the expectant mother is ashamed of her sexual partner (for example, there is a serious difference in age or income).
- Parental pressure from both sides … Sometimes we just don't want to follow someone's lead and do everything according to someone else's direction. So the body, in response to an emotional protest, also decided to go on strike.
- Childhood psychological trauma … If a girl had younger brothers and sisters, she was constantly forced to study with them, this limited her freedom. At a young age, she wants to take a walk, live for herself, and not go through the constant demands and requests of little toddlers again.
- Excessive desire to become a mother … Paradoxically, this reason also becomes a kind of protection for the fulfillment of the main female function - procreation.
- Relationship problems with the future father, stress … If a couple quarrels violently, then reconciles, stress is constantly present in their life - they will not be able to conceive. In such a relationship, the body protects itself, saving a reserve in the event of a worsening of the situation.
Attention! An unsuccessful first experience of pregnancy, ending with the loss of a child, can become the main cause of psychological infertility for many years. A woman is simply in her subconscious afraid to relive this nightmare of losing a baby, especially if at this difficult time she did not find support from loved ones and was worried about everything herself.
The causes of psychological infertility in men
Paradoxically, in 30-40% of cases, the main problem with conception lies precisely in the man. And although the psychological reasons for infertility are not so significant, you should not write them off from the account:
- Fear of losing attention … Yes, many men in marriage are looking for a new mother who will take care of them, take care of them and feed them deliciously. They just don't want to share her attention with anyone else, including their child.
- Psychological immaturity … Usually such men have rather funny hobbies, they are fond of everything that teenagers do. Since they are children themselves, there is no place for a baby in their life. This reason echoes the first, they are often combined.
- Fear of global change … Sleepless nights, walking not with your beloved, but with a stroller in any weather, crying and diapers - all this frightens many of the stronger sex no less than women. After all, as a real gentleman, he will have to help his wife, but as an infantile person he simply does not want to do this.
- Financial insolvency … Everyone who communicates with young parents knows that children require serious expenses, not only moral, but also material. If a man is not confident in his abilities, worries about income stability, he can block his own desire to become a father in his subconscious mind.
- Doom for a stable and measured lifestyle … This is usually the case for romantics with big plans. They dream of conquering Everest and jumping off a cliff, but they realize that with a small child, all plans will not come true. And the heir will take their best years for himself.
All of the above motives and prejudices only provoke the creation of protracted stressful situations in the life of a couple, which has formed a certain block in the mind. Situations are not uncommon when a partner's unfulfilled desire to become a parent simply leads to a decision to break a childless union.
The consequences of psychological infertility in a couple
Not all couples who cannot conceive can live without children. In many ways, public pressure plays an important role in this ("How, you don't have children yet? Yes, I already had three at your age!" etc.). Unfortunately, few people have a natural sense of tact. Psychological infertility in women is only aggravated by the influence of such “helpers”. Most of them prefer to get into the soul and give important, in their opinion, advice. The consequences of the problem of psychological infertility for a couple can be:
- Feeling deeply depressed … Unrealized motherhood and fatherhood drives you into a dead end, forces yourself to be morally “devoured” by thoughts about why others can, but we cannot.
- Isolation … I especially want to close myself off from those who endlessly give out the right advice and parting words, shamelessly trying to get into someone else's soul. And when the playful arguments end, the couple simply closes in their world.
- Isolation from the company … If all friends already have children, they gradually begin to distance themselves from the infertile couple. They have fewer topics for communication, and joint leisure is becoming more and more difficult to organize.
- Parting … If one of the partners simply cannot accept such a situation, does not see a way out, then the couple has practically no chance of a joint future.
Attention! Even if you have been diagnosed with "Psychological infertility", do not despair! There is always a way out, just not in every case it will be standard.
Features of the treatment of psychological infertility
Without understanding the true reasons for such a diagnosis, it is quite difficult to fix anything. Many people cannot even imagine that in fact the body is malfunctioning due to hidden fears and blocks. Nobody wants to admit their imperfection and inability to bear children. Acquired panic only aggravates everything: it reduces the ability of the epithelium to implant the ovum and fix it before delivery or the number of active sperm produced. There is practically no chance of conceiving, as it turns out to be a vicious circle. If a couple heard such a diagnosis, they need to start working on themselves.
Self-fight against psychological infertility
It can be difficult to identify the reasons even in oneself, all the more to get rid of them. But in many ways, the treatment of psychological infertility will depend solely on the mood. It is important not only to follow the proposed scheme, but also to independently change the attitude towards the problem. The couple just need to switch and relax. You don't know how to change the situation, change your attitude towards it. You should start with simple, yet understandable changes:
- Experiments in bed … A couple fixated on conception loses all passion in their relationship. They begin to have a sex life on a schedule, clearly adjusting to the days of ovulation. First you need to break this system. You can try a new position, role-play, change the usual environment and place of having sex. Perhaps you need to show more affection and care for each other. Simple mechanical movements can work, but to increase the chances, romance will not be superfluous.
- Change the setting … Many couples just need to get away from the usual bustle of the city. This does not at all mean moving or long-term residence in another region. Sometimes even a week's vacation on the shore of the warm sea will be enough to both invigorate the senses and shake the body. The main thing is to spend this time with benefits for the soul and body, and not with thoughts about the child, enjoy each other, confess feelings and make love. Only such a favorable and comfortable environment can contribute to the conception of a baby.
- Make repairs … This is not just a change of scenery, it is also a long process that will captivate and help to relieve tension at least for a while, switch over and relax.
- Find a new joint hobby … The couple needs to communicate, visit interesting places. The discovery of something new, perhaps, will change the view on many things.
- Have a heart-to-heart talk … Sometimes, in the process of emotional communication, one of the partners will accidentally, unexpectedly, even for himself, express the true reason for the fear. In this case, it will become easier to resolve the situation by finding out everything and sorting it out on the shelves.
Important! Many couples can indeed conceive a child, but only after they completely let go of the situation, they stop thinking about it.
Psychological assistance to couples with infertility
But if your own strength is not enough, then you should seek help from a specialist. It is he who will conduct a comprehensive treatment of deep psychological problems and blocks. The couple will be offered:
- Joint and individual sessions to identify the root of the problem … Often, young people themselves do not realize why they have difficulties with conception. With the help of a specialist, you can not only find a problem, but also ways to solve it. This is especially important for couples who have experienced a miscarriage, loss of a child in later stages or at the very beginning of life.
- Visiting orphanages and shelters … Some couples are simply afraid to be alone with their children. Volunteering on the advice of a psychologist will remove barriers. The method is also suitable for those who are afraid to take responsibility.
- Building relationships between spouses … The psychologist will help to regain the former passion, return harmony and understanding of each other. After all, partners often close in on themselves, losing their emotional connection, because they cannot forgive either themselves or their partner for the absence of children, the inability to live "like everyone else."
- Help in accepting the situation … A qualified specialist will teach you how to react to one strip not as a disaster, but as another chance to try first.
Qualified psychological help will clarify how to cope with psychological infertility. By signing up for a consultation with a prenatal psychologist, it will be possible to detect pitfalls in the couple's relationship, and with proper adjustment, it will be possible to eliminate the problem. Its main purpose is to reveal the hidden reasons for the deviation and advise the necessary measures for the psychocorrection of the identified phobias and blocks.
Non-standard methods of dealing with psychological infertility
If there is no qualified specialist, and nothing comes out on its own, it's time to think about what other situations can be considered to become happy parents:
- ECO … If the partners are healthy, you can try in vitro fertilization. Of course, the procedure is not cheap, but peace of mind, as well as the chance to become a parent, is much more important.
- Adoption … Many desperate couples come up with the idea of taking a child from an orphanage into their family. Having become the parents of an adopted baby, they become convinced of their abilities, pass hidden blocks and phobias that previously did not give the opportunity to have a baby. Having enjoyed all the delights of a full-fledged family, women themselves do not notice how they become pregnant naturally without outside interference. Of course, it is not easy to decide on this, but you can take as an example happy celebrity couples and their children, talk with adoptive parents, watch films on this topic and visit an orphanage.
How to get rid of psychological infertility - watch the video:
Despite the obvious way out of this situation, without realizing it, many completely refuse to solve the problem of psychological infertility, depriving themselves and their loved one of the opportunity to become parents. Do not despair, because there is always a chance, and you need to take advantage of it. And in the struggle for your happiness, all means are good!
