Greed of a child and the reasons for its appearance. Features of growing up a baby and ways to get rid of his unwillingness to share his things with other children. Greed in a child is the child's unwillingness to voluntarily give his toys and other things valuable to him, even for temporary use. Parents cannot understand how their cute toddler literally became a little curmudgeon. Children's psyche is very vulnerable, but still amenable to correction. Therefore, parents should think about the problem that has arisen in their family, which can make their beloved child an outcast in society in the future.
Stages of socialization of a child
Experts say that the first manifestations of a feeling of possessiveness in a baby begin after a year and a half. Before this period, there is simply no point in talking about it.
In the future, the maturation and formation of the personality of the baby is as follows:
- 1, 5-2 years … At this age, even the friendliest child begins to change. For him, there is still no clear distinction between mine and someone else's. However, a favorite toy is already appearing, which he is far from always ready to share with loved ones, even for a while. You should not be afraid of this fact, because psychologists consider this behavior of a toddler to be the absolute norm for his age category.
- 2-3 years … During this period, the child begins to actively form his own "I". Against the background of such changes, children may want to clearly limit their personal space. In this case, one cannot do without conflicts with peers who are actively trying to infiltrate it. There is also no reason for alarm yet, because in this way the baby learns the world around him and his place in it.
- Over 3 years old … The child already clearly understands which things belong exclusively to him. Consequently, any encroachment on them from outsiders he can take with hostility. It is not worth punishing him for this, but preventive work in this case definitely does not hurt.
- 5-7 years … If at this age children continue to actively defend their territory and refuse to share toys, then parents should definitely reconsider their parenting model. Otherwise, an egoist, doomed to loneliness, will grow out of their sweet mischief.
The causes of childish greed
Each child needs an individual approach, therefore, first of all, one should study the possible sources of his unwillingness to share personal things with peers:
- Inattention to parents … Children are acutely aware of this moment and painfully perceive it from the height of their little experience. Dad and mom can be busy with their worries, paying off from time to time from their child with gifts. For such small personalities, they become cult things that they are never ready to part with in their lives.
- Conflict of children in the family … Very often, at the birth of another child, parents begin to pay more attention to him. All this is a natural thing, but it is often not understood by the eldest son or daughter. Consequently, due to jealousy, they turn into a greedy person in relation to the “competitor” that has appeared in the family.
- Wrong parenting behavior … Often, on the same playground, you can hear a formidable cry from a mother, who demands her child to share his favorite thing with other children. As a result, the child was brought to tears, because what was really dear to him was taken away from him by force and for some unknown reason.
- Orphanage … These children do not often have to rejoice at gifts, so they perceive sponsorship in their own way. Having received the treasured thing for personal use, they often do not want to share it with other pupils of such an institution.
The listed reasons can be eliminated without any problems. In most cases, the explanation of why a child is greedy lies in the fault of the parents themselves, who by their actions provoke a similar pattern of behavior for their son or daughter. And then they shrug their shoulders in bewilderment and try to eliminate the consequences of such behavior late enough.
Varieties of childish greed
This character trait manifests itself in different ways for each child. The following types of manifestations of children's unwillingness to share with other personal things should be distinguished:
- The greedy bully … Such a child does not lend his toys for temporary use and tries to take possession of strangers. At the same time, he may even start a fight if something did not go according to his script.
- Greedy owner … There is a category of children who, by their very nature, are not able to understand the word "common toys". It is very difficult to wean them from such a vision of things, but really with the help of a competent psychologist.
- Greedy victim … These are unloved children who become stingy due to life circumstances or due to the selfishness of adults. The same category includes small persons who live in dysfunctional families with very little income.
- The greedy tyrant … Excessive parental love can also play a cruel joke with dad and mom. Indulging their child in literally everything, they grow out of him a hundred percent egoist and curmudgeon.
- Lonely Greedy … In this case, we will focus on a very thrifty child. He loves to play with himself, because he values toys and worries so that other children do not damage his property.
Important! It is very difficult to find one factor that contributes to the emergence of greed in children. Every child has their own reason to become a little person with a similar problem.
Ways to combat childish greed
In most cases, screaming and harsh punishments can cause a radically opposite reaction in your offspring. When correcting your child's behavior, you need to be extremely wise. However, it does not hurt in some situations to seek help from a specialist.
The work of psychologists with greedy
Such patients require increased attention to themselves, so doctors have developed the following method of working with them:
- Talking about a hypothetical hero … Experts often offer a child to listen to a story about a greedy boy or girl. Then the kid (due to his age-related abilities) is invited to come up with an ending to this story. During such communication, psychologists competently lead their patient to the idea that greedy people often remain without friends.
- Joint art therapy … Such an event involves the participation of 4-5 children in it. The specialist invites them to draw what they themselves want. They can use anything, because the psychologist's desk usually contains pencils, felt-tip pens, markers, crayons and paints. After that, the children describe everything that they have depicted on paper or cardboard. Then the head of the group of young artists offers to present drawings to each other. He motivates this by the fact that such creativity should bring joy to everyone around him.
- Collective game … With it, you can expand the number of participants in this type of therapy. Usually children are divided into two teams and competitions are held between them. The main rule of such a competition is to pass a toy or some other object to each other as quickly as possible. Psychologists insist on the fact that over time, greedy people will have a reflex to give things away to another person free of charge.
- Family therapy … If there is a conflict between an older and younger child, then you cannot do without the introduction of this method. Parents sometimes cannot participate impartially in a quarrel between their children. In this case, the psychologist will develop a special technique specifically for young children, so that one or both of them stop being greedy.
- Separate work with parents … Very often, the older generation of the family is embarrassed to share their problems with other people because of the wrong model of raising their own offspring. In this situation, the specialist invites dads and mothers to attend individual consultations on topics related to the correct dosage of love for their children. During such conversations, a psychologist using cognitive-behavioral therapy will help parents not to over indulge the child, but also not to deprive him of his warmth and care.
Attention! The help of a psychologist is necessary only if the greed of children takes a manic form. In a different situation, it is quite possible to do with the forces of your family.
Helping parents to their child
Dad and mom feel their child with all their hearts, but sometimes they lack the experience to properly approach his upbringing. When solving the problem of how to wean a child from being greedy, the following tips will help them:
- Don't waste time … Parents should not relax and think that they will be able to re-educate their beloved greedy person at any moment. Psychologists insist on the fact that after 9 years it will be either problematic or practically impossible even with a competent psychologist.
- Convene a family council … To better understand the origins of childish greed, the opinion of loved ones will not hurt. Let everyone express their own opinion in this frank conversation, after which it will be easiest to come to a common decision. However, with such a dialogue, one should patiently listen to each other so that the family consultation does not ultimately turn into a banal showdown between relatives.
- Talking to children … The toy and food industry makes children want everything at once through colorful advertising. If their friends have a coveted object, then the child can take a pose with the requirement to buy him the same. It should be explained to him from early childhood that each family has its own financial capabilities. Then the conversation must be smoothly translated to the fact that it is very bad to be envious and greedy.
- Observe wisdom … If a small friend who has come to visit a child is eager to get the favorite thing of his own son or daughter, then it will be a gross mistake in the educational process to follow the lead of the young extortionist visitor. It is necessary to convince your child to play with the visitor, but with the condition that the toy is returned to its owner.
- Teach by example … Exclusively in this way, it is realistic to show the baby how to behave correctly in life. He must witness that his parents are able to share their material wealth with others. You can feed an abandoned animal together or send things to an orphanage. The behavior will also be correct, in which, for example, something very tasty is bought and shared with everyone, or mom treats dad, telling him that she is not greedy.
- Follow the words … In no case should you call your child a greedy person in the presence of strangers. This will cause a protest against the tactlessness of a loved one, and not a desire to further share your things with someone. In addition, the child may consider such an insult to be fair and will not want to change anything in himself in the future.
- Avoid comparisons … It is a big mistake to compare the behavior of your children with the actions of someone else. It will hurt a son or daughter to hear such offensive characteristics from people they trust. You should once and for all forget such words as "that child is not greedy" or "lucky other parents with children."
- Encourage good deeds … In this case, we are not talking about financial reward, but about kind words and praise. However, in some cases, you can buy a child, after his gesture of generosity, some interesting trinket. This acquisition should be motivated solely by the desire to please him for the fact that he simply is.
- Show themed cartoons … In this case, instructive stories like "On the Road with Clouds" are very suitable, where it is said that the same ice cream should be shared. The "Tale of Greed" and "Once upon a Time There Was a Greedy Princess" are also suitable. It is necessary not only to invite your child to get acquainted with these cartoons, but also to voice each episode in them.
How to wean a child from being greedy - watch the video:
The child is greedy, what to do? This is a problem that makes some parents think. First of all, you need to calm down and analyze the behavior of your child, taking into account the age characteristics of the psyche. Drastic measures in this case will do more harm than good. Therefore, only the wisdom of adults will help the little greedy get rid of the reluctance to share their things.
