Problems of a midlife crisis in men from 30 to 45 years old, the first symptoms and signs. The main reasons for its development and methods of overcoming this state. A midlife crisis in men is a long-term state of a person on an emotional level, the cause of which is a reassessment of views on himself, his life and the world around him. Let's consider the main reasons and ways of dealing with the crisis.
Description of the midlife crisis in men
This condition is more common in men than in women. The onset of the crisis can fluctuate within the age range of 30-45 years, depending on their own success and period of life.
If a person is successful or started a family, the crisis may begin later or pass in a blurred form. This does not mean at all that he will later achieve all the goals set in life. A properly planned life and correctly set priorities significantly reduce the possibility of developing such a state.
A midlife crisis develops gradually and usually lasts a long time. A man in the prime of his life achieves some success in life and suddenly, unexpectedly for himself, realizes that half of his life has been lived. Old age no longer seems so distant, and the future seems to be just a set of everyday affairs.
From such thoughts, he begins to be depressed and depressed. He has an obsessive thought that much in life has been done wrong, time wasted, a feeling of self-pity appears. A reassessment of values begins, a person revises his life position.
At this stage, the man looks back at his youth, remembers his dreams and plans, sums up the lost. In this state, real life successes are devalued, all attention goes to those goals that have not been achieved. No matter how successful a person is, when this crisis hits him, all his achievements will seem insufficient. Important! A man's personal crisis can lead to the development of a family crisis and even to divorce.
The main causes of midlife crisis in men
Usually the root of the problem goes back to adolescence. This is the second most important and serious crisis in a person's life. Problems that a teenager could not solve, but simply "outgrew", return with renewed vigor in the form of a midlife crisis in men after 30 years.
Consider the main causes of the crisis in men:
- Unrealized plans … A man at this age will actively look for reasons why he failed to make all his dreams come true. For a successful businessman who has dedicated his life to a career, the main thing in life will seem to be family and children, whom he never had time to have. For all troubles, such a person will blame the work, since it is because of it that he was left alone, although with its help he was able to achieve success in life. For a family man who gives all the time to the upbringing of his children and his wife, a career and material income will be the pinnacle to be equal to. He will blame the marriage for failing to build his career. Whatever values a person who has entered a midlife crisis may have, he will still be equal to what he does not have at the moment.
- Second growing up … Very often, during middle age, men have children, then grandchildren. Until this moment, when the children are at home and life is in full swing, you rarely have to think about your own problems. When, finally, time is freed up for themselves, men simply have no idea what to do with it. There is a feeling of emptiness and worthlessness, which provokes depression. In middle age, a man takes over the responsibilities of the head of the family, because his parents are getting old. At work, from the role of a young professional, he becomes an experienced mentor. Perhaps the most important thing is that a man at this age realizes that the wonderful future, to which he has been striving all his life, has not come.
- Beauty cult … With age, natural physiological changes occur, which are completely normal. For a man, such calls indicate rapid old age and loss of ability. The former attractiveness goes away with youth, whiskey turns gray. Even if a person is in excellent physical shape, strength and sexual potential are still partially lost. This does not mean that a man becomes incapable of anything, but the quality characteristics are significantly reduced. Since men's health is of great importance in the formation of self-esteem, a person tries in every possible way to hide it.
- Echoes of the adolescent crisis … As mentioned above, very often a midlife crisis in men after 40 years develops due to unresolved problems that have stuck in the subconscious since adolescence. The main problem of adolescents is the feeling of excessive mentoring and the inability to make decisions on their own, they constantly think that they are forced to live by someone else's rules. Something similar happens in middle-aged men, only instead of parents, marriage becomes enemy number 1. The man gets the impression that he is being manipulated to achieve his own goals. In response to this, an adult, established person rebelles.
The main symptoms of a midlife crisis in men
For a midlife crisis, the symptoms are very similar to adolescent rebellious antics, only they are gaining much more serious momentum and can affect the lives of other people. The midlife crisis in men is expressed as follows:
- Change in appearance … Very often people at this age are trying to regain youthfulness by transforming their appearance. If a person fits into his wedding suit, this does not mean at all that the years have not taken their toll. Very often, in a midlife crisis, men begin to try on teenage clothes or those that have remained with them since their youth. Gray hairs are pulled out or carefully painted over. They try to hide wrinkles in all available ways. Some even decide on a variety of plastic surgeries. Often during this period, men begin to engage in their physique, buy gym membership.
- Adapting to the tastes of young people … Men with a middle-aged crisis often try to adapt to youth tastes by copying their culture to the fullest. An adult man begins to use youth slang in conversation, listens to modern music and even changes his hobbies, trying to adapt to young people. For example, he begins to play teenage computer games, football at the stadium. And all these changes in a man's life take place in order to prove to himself that he has not nearly changed and has not aged, but remained the same full of strength and energy.
- Demonstration of male power … A very important aspect of aging is a man's sex life. Halfway through his life, a person tries to prove to himself that he is capable of performing his basic tasks and is not at all limited in his capabilities. He needs recognition and self-confidence. Wives do not always understand the specifics of this male period, so most often men seek recognition outside the home walls. For example, they give birth to young mistresses to prove to themselves that “there is still gunpowder in the flasks,” but later they still understand that a young woman is not looking at her attractiveness and external qualities, but at her social and material status.
- Achieving goals in a hurry … If a person dreamed of a sports car for a long time, but understood that the old one would do and that he needed to save money for a new house or for children to study, then during a midlife crisis, this purchase should be expected. Feeling the emptiness of his soul and belittling his dignity, a man tries to prove himself from his best side, makes desperate attempts to save his position. He buys a new car, gets an original tattoo, or other things that were ever planned but never made a reality. Often, such a hasty fulfillment of long-standing desires leads to loans, but such actions seem to a person simply necessary.
Important! Most of the actions and words spoken in a fit of family quarrels when a man is in a middle-aged crisis are not true.
Ways to Overcome Midlife Crisis in Men
Fortunately, the midlife crisis is not all about cons and frustrations. This is an opportunity to take a fresh look at the current life and make the necessary adjustments before it is too late. It compares favorably with adolescence in that a man has complete freedom of action and all goals, if desired, can be performed quite easily and quickly.
Visionary plans
Often a crisis begins with the cliff where life plans end. It is necessary to get an education, get married, build a career, raise children - these goals usually end by the age of 40, but few people know what to do next. You need to set goals that you should be equal to, but it was difficult to achieve. If a person lives with simple desires or dreams, for example, to go to the sea, to get a promotion, then, having achieved them, he will not receive the expected pleasure and will only be upset. If you think over a thorough plan before old age, then during a midlife crisis, you can rely on the fact that a person is still in demand. As Dale Carnegie said: “Be busy. It is the cheapest medicine on earth - and one of the most effective. This also applies to the mid-life crisis.
Support for loved ones
Usually, most wives are wondering what to do with a midlife crisis in men. A lot depends on a loved one - it is necessary to show your man that he is still the one she married, because during this period he strongly feels only the negative imprint of the past years.
If suddenly the role of the head of the family, when the parents have grown old, turns out to be a complete surprise and a new responsibility, you should treat this as another stage in life. We must not forget that there are many people who need this man, regardless of his age and degree of gray hair. Therefore, the support of loved ones will always play the most important role.
Help from specialists
If you develop severe depression and personal conflicts, you should seek the help of a professional psychologist. Only a specialist will be able to sort out your situation and correct psychotherapy correctly. In some cases, the consequences of a midlife crisis lead to the loss of a family, job, so it is important to consult a specialist in a timely manner. You should not start using any psychotropic substances on your own, for example, antidepressants, as they can only aggravate the situation. Such drugs can only be prescribed by a doctor who specializes in such problems.
Realistic views
No matter how much you want to buy a motorcycle and rush wherever you look, there is one force that will not allow you to do this. It is also called common sense. Realistic outlooks on life will help you accept it as it is and look at yourself from the outside. It is necessary to understand that any actions to restore youth, beauty and health are sometimes useless. At the same time, you need to remember that even 40 years is not later than the time to start a business, meet your soul mate or in any other way change your life for the better. The surge of self-awareness that occurs during a crisis will certainly help with this. How to overcome a midlife crisis in men - watch the video:
The middle-aged men crisis is not only a problem for them, but also for their families. Timely support and mutual understanding will help you get through this stage in life more easily and even benefit from it for yourself. Overestimating your own abilities and capabilities can sometimes be very helpful and give an incentive to change your life for the better. In any case, this is a wonderful age when the maximum life experience is combined with a sufficient potential of opportunities, and if you ever carry out your plans and desires, then only now.
