How to deal with social fears

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How to deal with social fears
How to deal with social fears
Anonim

Varieties of social phobias, the mechanism of their development and the main symptoms. Causes of fears and the main steps to overcome. Social fear is a constant feeling of anxiety and anticipation of danger that can arise from contact with other people. In other words, a person is afraid of society and all its manifestations. Any means of interaction on the part of other people cause discomfort, discomfort and worsen the state of health. Thus, the individual turns out to be autistic, shielded from everyone, as well as socially unadapted, unable to work and live in the environment of others.

Description and mechanism of development of social fears

Feelings of insecurity in society
Feelings of insecurity in society

The importance of combating this type of phobias is very difficult to overestimate, since today communication skills and the ability to work in a team are one of the most important traits that are needed for success. People who experience any kind of social fear are deprived of this opportunity. They feel much better on their own because their anxiety is associated with the possible adverse effects of interactions with other people.

In fact, fears of society can be generalized and cover all cases of contact with other people. That is, absolutely all relationships are ignored, communication is reduced to the necessary minimum, and sometimes it stops altogether.

Most people encompass other, narrower phobias that are associated with a certain amount of fear when interacting with others. For example, blushing in public or performing in front of a full house. This does not mean that a person will be afraid to go shopping, he needs certain conditions for the development of a clinical picture of a phobia. These specialized fears are much more easily tolerated than generalized ones, but their prevalence is much wider.

This manifestation of the human psyche can be as a symptom of other disorders and combine into the main syndrome, or it can be observed separately as a phobia.

Such fears are formed, usually in childhood or adolescence. It was then that the human psyche is very sensitive to external manifestations and is still figuring out what is good and what is bad. These attitudes will give rise to the character and tendencies of personality development in the future.

Thus, negative experiences in communicating with other people, stress factors can affect how a person perceives the world. Over time, a reaction and an attitude is formed that any interaction with others does not have the best consequences, cause discomfort and anxiety.

The causes of social fears in humans

Stress as a cause of social fear
Stress as a cause of social fear

There is no single cause of social fear. Each person has their own predisposition and trigger factor that contribute to the formation of phobias. Moreover, sometimes several causes of social fear together can cause them:

  • Heredity … A predisposition that is passed down from generation to generation can play an important role in the formation of social phobias. Personal traits in the form of shyness, increased sensitivity to criticism, and resentment can stimulate the development of fears.
  • Upbringing … This aspect is of great importance in the human worldview. The most important rules of life are laid in the child by the parents, they dictate the norms of society that must be observed for adaptation. Negative reactions to his behavior on their part can underestimate self-esteem, create a prejudice of inferiority or even non-compliance of a person with the chosen environment.
  • Imitation … Children tend to imitate the way of life that they are used to seeing from birth. In addition to upbringing, parents serve as a specific example to be achieved and to strive for. Thus, the withdrawn behavior of parents, their fears will be imitated by children, regardless of their wishes or actions.
  • Stress … This factor plays an important role in both the long-term equivalent and the acute reaction. Unfavorable conditions at work / family / study form self-doubt, pathological reactions to the presence of other people. An important role is played by ridicule, bullying from others. Likewise, a momentary event that can be unsettling can form fear. For example, one failed stage performance in front of an audience creates the conditions that shape glossophobia.
  • Hypobulia … Inability to manage your own desires, set goals and achieve them. Low motivational activity and lack of composure. Such people are not able to carry out anything of their own accord, they are accustomed to go with the flow and do what society dictates. At the same time, one's own behavior becomes stereotyped, reactions become impoverished, and a person often cannot decide on any radical step.

Important! Negative life experiences in the form of ridicule at school, humiliation or trolling by peers can cause severe depressive reactions with fatal consequences.

The main types of social fears

Fear of responsibility
Fear of responsibility

The clinical picture of social phobias differs depending on the type of fear. Generalized people manifest themselves in a mass fear of communication and interactions with other people. They are very rare, most often isolated phobias are observed, in which a person is afraid of specific consequences.

There are many types of social fear that people can manifest individually. In general, they can be divided into several groups:

  1. Fear of submission … In almost every job, a hierarchical management scheme is embodied and there is always a boss and subordinates. Workers with social phobias are usually overly sensitive to their role and management's attitude towards them. For this phobia, an important role is played by the installation on the boss's unconditional authority and fear of his decisions and actions. This also applies to teachers at school, teachers at the university and those people who supervise the work of others.
  2. Fear of responsibility … This phobia can manifest itself in completely different ways. So, individuals are afraid of family relationships, important things at work, assignments, promises. Low self-esteem does not allow them to show their own importance, since they are pre-determined to fail. Therefore, when a responsible business arises on the horizon, they are in a hurry to refuse, to run away, just not to draw unnecessary attention to themselves and not to let anyone down.
  3. Fear of failure … This phobia is based on the fear of taking on something important and failing. It could be a project at work, an exam, or another event that could end in fiasco. A person is so afraid of negative consequences and is confident in them that he realizes in advance the insignificance of his attempts to change something. The feeling of powerlessness and inability to do something relieves him even of the opportunity to try.
  4. Fear of success … Oddly enough, many are very afraid to achieve truly important results. This is due to self-esteem, which allows you to be only in secondary roles, with low motivational factors. A person does not want to take on additional responsibilities that entail success, he is afraid of a new, unknown future. But most of all, the fear of success is caused by the fear of loss of stability, which was created before it.
  5. Fear of loneliness … This is a special category of social phobias, which are aimed at unwillingness to be alone and an urgent need for a relationship. This can manifest the fear of divorce, fear of conflicts and quarrels, fear of losing a loved one. Indecision in this matter forces a person to be in the cage of his own phobias all his life and be unable to change his position.
  6. Fear of getting closer … This type of phobias consists of an undeniable fear of being in relationships with people. He forces them to acquire their own independence, increasingly fencing themselves off from society. Openness and expression of feelings are alien to them. Contacts with the outside world are lost due to the poverty of emotional and behavioral reactions, egocentrism and independence. As a result of this isolation, fear will increase every time you try to get closer to someone.
  7. Fear of appraisal … This phobia forces all their actions to be analyzed for the negative reaction of others. In this case, the opinion of other people plays the most important role and forms pathological dependence. A person is afraid of being condemned for the wrongness of his actions, he is afraid of criticism and unpleasant statements from the outside. Thus, one's own self-esteem depends on the opinions of others. People begin to be afraid of public speaking, where there is a chance to be appreciated, criticized.
  8. Fear of inattention … Individuals with this phobia value recognition highly and place it far above other priorities. Attention from other people confirms their role in the world, the necessity of their existence. Artistic personalities of a demonstrative nature are prone to this phobia, who most often choose those professions that are provided with the attention of society. They are afraid to be unnoticed, to mean nothing to others, and the methods by which they achieve their recognition may or may not be positive.

Steps to Overcome Social Fears

Each phobia from the social register is unique in its own way, as it is endowed with human personality traits and is colored by his emotional reactions. But, unfortunately, fears can quickly be cornered, preventing daily activities from being carried out. They hinder the achievement of success at work, interfere with family well-being and personal growth, which is why it is so important to know how to properly overcome your phobias.

Step 1. Realization

Awareness as an understanding of fear
Awareness as an understanding of fear

This stage provides the foundation for all of the following. If a person does not understand the irrationality of what he is afraid of, does not realize that in fact these are false attitudes that interfere with life, nothing will come of it. Overcoming social fears must start with understanding your own phobia. You should consider other examples of failures with superiors, with relationships that only strengthen the person's resilience. Examples include famous personalities who, in childhood or adolescence, had to go through similar situations, but they did not break down, but moved on. The realization that fear destroys life, and does not in any way protect against external factors and communication with others, contributes to motivation to overcome it.

It is recommended to evaluate for yourself what you had to lose because of your phobia, what the results of your work, relationships could have been, if not for social fears. Sometimes the realization of what has already been lost or may not come true is noticeably sobering and allows you to look at yourself from the outside.

Everyone is the creator of his own story, but when fear rules life, everything turns out a little differently. It should be understood that phobias of one person can suffer from his relatives, friends, family. Therefore, at the first stage, you need to find something that is worth fighting for with your fears, something for which you have to fight and win.

Step 2. Training

Dialogue as training to overcome phobias
Dialogue as training to overcome phobias

Fears are not the most pleasant part of consciousness, therefore, in competing with them, a person is struggling with himself. It is impossible to dive into the whirlpool with your head as soon as the decision is made to get rid of phobias. In this way, you can form any more fear and never again decide to try again.

Such a lengthy process, such as dealing with your phobias, requires a serious approach with a phased implementation of tasks. It takes courage to make a decision, so it's important to get used to new circumstances a little bit.

For example, if a person is afraid of communicating with other people, this does not mean that you need to pester everyone with conversations. Firstly, it will cause significant discomfort and health will only worsen, and secondly, there is a risk of being misunderstood. Thus, you can drive yourself from one extreme to another.

You should start with small dialogues that imply the usual politeness and tact. Uncertainty can be overcome with a change of image. For both women and men, the new image makes it possible to be in the role of someone else and thus abstract from your personality.

Step 3. Objectives

Goals as a priority for a person
Goals as a priority for a person

Each person has goals to which he aspires. It is recommended to designate for yourself the priority desires and directions in development. It is necessary to determine what is needed for happiness, and even write it down on paper. A small list will help at least somehow materialize your goals and turn them into a more real object. It should be understood that ambition is a natural trait of a person who does not stand still and always wants to achieve the best for himself. The phobia will create significant barriers only when he begins to lose because of it the chances on the way to his desires. If there are no goals and desires, you can get along with fears quite comfortably.

Friends and loved ones who are not indifferent to the well-being of the person with the phobia can help in writing such a list. It is necessary to identify specific desires and, if possible, ways to achieve them. The sooner you do this, the more time will be left to realize what could be lost if you do not get rid of your fears.

The deservedness of all these goals remains an important issue. Very often, people with social phobias think that they are unworthy of fulfilling such points and cannot do all this in any way. To get rid of such feelings, you need to understand your positive sides, indicate your merits in the same list, for example, "I am worthy to speak at the conference, because I worked a lot on this project." List your strengths and reasons why you still need to take important steps.

Step 4. Obstacles

Failure as an Experience
Failure as an Experience

No project exists without overcoming obstacles, without failures that can precede success. On the way of each person, sooner or later, certain obstacles arise that should be fought for the future that is planned. Thus, each fiasco turns into an invaluable experience that others may not have.

Failure can lead to important insights, other decisions, and the right path. Absolutely everyone makes mistakes, but not everyone is able to appreciate the importance of a given case, understand a valuable lesson and turn it into an experience for the future.

Sometimes a shake-up in the form of failure is needed in order to make a revision of your decisions in time, to check the correctness of your own actions. Failures are often the ones that show you the right direction to aim for.

In order to finally defeat your phobias, it is recommended to accept your own failures not as an obstacle, but as necessary lessons that life itself teaches.

How to overcome social fears - watch the video:

Social fears are a huge problem of our time, where communication with other people plays an important role. In order not to limit your capabilities and abilities, you need to get rid of phobias in time and correctly, fight your fears and boldly look them in the eyes. If you cannot overcome them on your own, you should seek qualified help.

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