Is a relationship with a married man good or bad? Why does a woman decide on such a relationship and who benefits from it. How to build a relationship with a married person and how to break it off correctly. Negative points of communication with a married man:
- Keeping secrets … The main rule of a "safe" relationship with an unfree person is to hide these very relationships. Such spy games not only do not allow you to go out together "in the light", the need for conspiracy will haunt you all the time - you should not betray your feelings with a single gesture or facial expression when meeting with your beloved outside your love nest.
- Dosage of attention … No matter how you work on your forbidden relationship, you will only get a fraction of his care and attention. He will literally break out to you or carve out time for you when it is convenient for him (necessary, profitable, etc.). And the duration of your dates will also depend on him.
- Idle holidays … Since a lover is not a family, you will have to celebrate the holidays as a bachelor. Moreover, such family celebrations as New Year, Christmas, Easter. The same situation will be with the primordially women's days - March 8 and February 14. And on your birthday, he will not always be able to give you as much attention as you want.
- Jealousy … Jealous feelings towards your married partner may not appear immediately. But they will certainly appear. After all, you have not a couple, but a triangle. And in it you are not assigned the first role. The wife remains the main person in his life. Therefore, she gets the bulk of attention, care, and money.
- The ghostly prospects … Another feature of the relationship with a married person is uncertainty. You cannot predict how it will end and when. He can swear to you in love today, and tomorrow he can break off relations or disappear from your life altogether. Or maybe promise to divorce for years, but not do anything real. This situation not only makes it impossible to hope for a joint future, but also fully rely on its support.
- Imaginary employment … A relationship with someone else's husband is like part-time or part-time work. You seem to have a man, but it seems like not. After all, he is not completely yours. You are faithful to him, but he is not to you. And these are the terms of your "contract". Moreover, you are not immune from the fact that you are not his only mistress.
- Voltage … There is a risk in any, the most reliable relationship. A woman in a relationship with a married person has much more. This is the risk of condemnation, rejection of the situation by the environment, the risk of wasting years "in vain" and not marrying anyone at all, the risk of being suddenly abandoned, used. And the most, perhaps, the most terrible risk is to be exposed. Wives are different: one would prefer to be in the dark, the other to accept the situation, the third to calmly discuss the nuances on the phone, and the fourth can arrange a grand showdown. Moreover, in a crowded place (at work, in a restaurant or cafe, in the courtyard of a house, etc.). Thus, only a mistress with very strong nerves can afford not to strain and not expect the already described "miracles".
- "Fake calls" … Often there will be situations when a lover unexpectedly makes an appointment, you change your daily routine in the same emergency manner, make all the necessary preparations, and 5 minutes before the appointed time he will call and cancel everything. The same situation can happen not only with an impromptu meeting, but also with a pre-planned date. As a result, you sit “at the parade”, but in sadness, instead of walking with your girlfriends, visiting your mother, etc. That is, to do what you wanted, but canceled because of the upcoming date.
- "Dark" past … If you are not making serious plans for your married man, keep in mind that this "sin" of yours may one day play a cruel joke on you. Most men calmly accept the fact that mistresses were, are and will be. But not everyone is ready to start a serious relationship with a girl who was someone's mistress.
- Religion … We must not forget that a relationship with a married man is not welcomed not only by society, but also by religion. Moreover, it is considered adultery, that is, a sin.
Important! Whatever the reason for the relationship with a married man, you need to remember that it is he who dictates the rules of the game. Accordingly, he also benefits from such a relationship.
How to build a relationship with a married man
If, in spite of everything, you still decide to have a relationship with an unfree man or have already decided and want to prolong the relationship as long as possible, take on board a few tips.
Rules of conduct in a relationship with a married person:
- Observe conspiracy … Keeping your relationship private will create an area of calm for him and for you. The more confident a man is in your "reliability" in this regard, the longer your relationship will last.
- Enjoy the moment … Learning to enjoy every minute spent together is another rule of how to build a relationship with a married person. No matter what goals you are pursuing.
- Be faithful … In terms of loyalty, it is foolish to seek equality in such a relationship. Your lover a priori cannot promise you this due to his status - he has a wife with whom he cannot help but sleep. But your loyalty will only add points to you.
- Be tolerant … Even if you really want to remove your lawful wife from her "position", do not turn your lover against her and the children. This is definitely a losing tactic, even if he himself speaks of it not in the best way. First, he can just lie to you, justifying his not entirely righteous behavior. Secondly, even if this is true, then not everything is so sad if it still remains in the family. Therefore, it would be much wiser not to add fuel to the fire, but to carefully find out all the pros and cons of your rival. Draw conclusions and objectively become better than her.
- Don't limit his freedom … Keep in mind that you will have to share your forbidden loved one not only with his family and work, but also with his friends. Therefore, from time to time he will give preference to meeting with them. The best tactic in this case would be complete calmness and respect for his interests. Scandals and restrictions are enough for him at home. Ideally (if possible) try to get to know and please his friends. For many men, the opinion of friends is authoritative.
- Be patient … Even if you really can't stand to take the place of your wife, take a wait-and-see attitude at first. Many men generally find it difficult to change something in their lives, not to mention such a radical change as divorce. Do not rush him, do not "process", do not persuade, do not convince him of the bankruptcy of his marriage. Moreover, do not blackmail. Let him make his own decision. Patience is another very effective way to behave in a relationship with a married man, so that they are mutually comfortable.
- Do not be offended for the holidays without it … Accept that he will celebrate traditional family holidays with his family. And learn to have fun, despite the absence of your loved one.
- Love and value yourself … Despite the fact that a relationship with an unfree man is a priori sacrificial, find your golden mean, which will allow you to enjoy life both with him and without him.
- Seize opportunities … If a married man is just an interim stage in your life, remember to look around so you don't miss your unmarried prince.
Important! Remember such a feature of human nature as a quick addiction to good and striving for the best. The same is with the status of a mistress: the better you feel in it, the more you want to change it to the status of a wife.
How to end a relationship with a married person
There are reasons why a woman decides on such a relationship. And there are reasons why she decides to interrupt it. This can be hopelessness in relationships, fatigue, revision of life priorities, loss of “spark”, betrayal, disappointment, “sobering up”, meeting another man, showdown with his wife, etc. However, breaking up such a relationship is not always easy and simple. Especially if your feelings are still warm or your lover is a manipulator. In any case, we must try to do it in a civilized manner.
The most effective ways to end a relationship with a married man are:
- Preparation … In order to take decisive action, it is necessary to realize the readiness for this itself. Take the time to literally sort through the state of things in your relationship. To look at them realistically, without “rose-colored glasses” and dreams clouded with promises. If necessary, use a simple, but very effective method for this: divide a piece of paper into two halves: in one write down the pros of your forbidden relationship, in the other - the minuses. And make a decision - firm, without any “probably”, “maybe”, “tomorrow”, “if”. The gap - and the point. After that, you can choose the way of parting.
- Direct conversation … Putting an end right away is the most honest, but at the same time the most painful way to end a relationship with a married man. Of course, if you still feel something for this person, it is best to do it when you meet. But if you are afraid to change your mind when you see him, or you just don’t want to see him again, you can notify him of your decision by phone. And the very last, the most ethically acceptable option is an SMS, a message in social networks or Viber, an email. If you still talk with your lover, try to explain in the most gentle way the reason for your decision and how you see your relationship after the breakup (or their complete cessation in any form).
- Reliable defense … Be prepared that your lover will not support your desire to become free. Especially if the relationship with you was comfortable for him, and he himself is a manipulator and owner. Persuasions, promises, calls and messages with a request to meet and discuss the situation again, etc. will be used. Perhaps this development of events will not happen immediately - in a week, a month. Your ex-lover may remember you in a year, counting on the fact that you have replaced anger with mercy. And if your ex is also an impulsive man, do not be surprised that alcoholic drinks will periodically push him to "feats" - night calls, messages and even attempts to come "to talk". Therefore, hold on to the defense: give in at least one step - everything will return to normal.
- Reincarnation … Another way to break a vicious bond is to gradually lead your lover to this decision. It will take time and some acting from you. Its essence is to gradually change your behavior and attitude towards your beloved in the opposite direction. You were cheerful and carefree - become angry, grumpy, you were obedient and unselfish - become obstinate and mercantile, you were kind and understanding - become jealous and hysterical. In general, do everything so that he loses the feeling of comfort in relations with you and begins to distance himself. In this case, he will not take your desire to leave too painfully, and most likely he will even be glad of this turn of events.
- Stripping … Regardless of how you broke off a relationship with a married man, after that you need to break off all the threads that may remind you of him. These can be joint photos, memorabilia, gifts. Change your bed, delete his number and all SMS from your phone, clean your email and social networks. If necessary, take drastic measures - change your job, place of residence, sports club. If you went out together, find other cafes, restaurants, clubs, places of rest. That is, exclude any possibility of contact or chance meeting.
- Revival … Raise your self-esteem. Remember that you are beautiful and wonderful, and therefore deserve to be in the first place with a man. Return to your hobbies, engage in self-development, communicate. Especially with the opposite sex. If the breakup is hard for you, share your emotions with loved ones who were aware of your relationship. Call your friends for help - you can even celebrate your independence day!
Important! When choosing a way to break the bond with a married person, be sure to consider several factors: the current state of the relationship, the nature of your lover, and your own strengths. Watch a video about a relationship with a married man:
To start or not to start a relationship with a married man is a choice that a woman must make herself. Desirable - consciously, taking into account all the pros and cons. And having decided on this, be able to adequately accept your secondary role in the life of the chosen one and just as worthily break off relations.
