Love quadrangle: reasons and prospects for its development. The article will give recommendations for eliminating this phenomenon if it began to destroy personal relationships among the participants in such a life cataclysm. A married-married relationship is a process that can destroy two families at the same time. However, there are so many nuances in this issue that each situation will ultimately have its own logical ending. It is worth understanding the formation of a love quadrangle in order to have an idea of its possible consequences.
The main reasons for the connection between unfree people
Such a relationship implies betrayal of not one of the partners, but two at once. Consequently, the delicacy of the situation becomes much more palpable than with the classic love triangle.
A voiced intimate geometric figure can form for a variety of reasons, but psychologists distinguish five main provocateurs among them:
- Family routine … This is especially true for couples who have a solid period of cohabitation. None of the partners thinks about divorce, so they are looking for a lover on the side with a minimum package of requirements. In this case, people who already have their soul mate are ideal for each other.
- Arising mutual sympathy … No one is immune from the fact that he might like a ringed member of the opposite sex. Very often, office romances begin between unfree people who like each other. The development of such a connection depends on many factors, and it can be very problematic to predict them.
- Searching for a soul mate … Especially at a young age, a couple marries solely because of the external attractiveness of the partner. With age, an understanding of the error comes and there is a desire to communicate with a person who has similar interests with a person who is disillusioned with family life.
- Common social circle … Nothing brings people together like a company of like-minded individuals. It is in such groups that intrigues often begin between members of the opposite sex, who are in a civil or legal marriage. Most often, such a romance begins if in such a company there are no common acquaintances with a legitimate soul mate.
- Double revenge … In some cases, deceived people can get close to take revenge on insidious cheaters. This happens more due to despair than from a sudden outbreak of passion. Revenge is a dish that is served cold, so there will be little sense from such actions.
- Marriage of convenience … If you do not go into all the subtleties of such an act, then we can say with confidence that the voiced relationship resembles a colossus with feet of clay. A person is arranged in such a way that, in the absence of real feelings for his lawful spouse, he begins to seek consolation on the side. If both illegitimate partners legalized the relationship in the past solely for selfish motives, then their relationship becomes a natural phenomenon.
- Guest marriage … The notorious love quadrangle can also arise for the sounded reason. This factor is common for some people, and some people consider it a serious test for their registered relationship. Being far from each other, spouses are able to start short-term relationships with also not free partners in order to avoid unnecessary problems in the future.
- Sexual problems … In some cases, bending souls, and sometimes from a pure heart, lovers who are married complain about this aspect in their personal lives. A man turns out to have either a frigid wife or a wife who suffers from all possible ailments. The lady who is looking for adventure has a spouse who is untenable in terms of intimacy in conversations. No one is in a hurry to understand the veracity of the information, because both partners are not free and do not always dream of changing anything in the current situation.
Note! There are many reasons for the emergence of a love quadrangle, from which no couple is immune. However, in a family where trust and respect for each other reigns, such a situation is extremely rare.
Varieties of married and married couples created
In this case, a clear distinction should be made between the formed ties on the side, when both cheaters are not free. The romance of a married and married woman can often be characterized by the following scheme:
- Free Consent Communication … No one in this pair owes anyone anything, which is negotiated by both parties initially. There is usually little romance in such a relationship, but such a joint pastime does not bother anyone. The main thing in this case for people with a voiced model of behavior is conspiracy, which gives additional acuity to secret meetings.
- Family people on vacation … To some extent, the process of flirting such holidaymakers is similar to an easy, consensual relationship. The difference in these two factors lies in the fact that during the separate leisure time from their families, not free people clearly understand the term of their pleasant pastime together on vacation.
- Couple with nostalgia for the past … Very often, the first love ends with the rupture of the formed connection, because young people are not ready to grind to each other. Over time, they acquire families, but when they meet the former subject of passion, a spark again runs between them. The result is the beginning of secret meetings, which can develop according to different scenarios.
- A casual connection between unfree people … A similar phenomenon occurs either when searching for the thrill of an adventure-hungry subject, or under the influence of intoxicating drinks. At the same time, unfree people enter into an intimate relationship, which nevertheless sometimes has its own unexpected continuation. This factor is especially true for impressionable persons who liked the sexual experience of a casual partner.
- Office romance between unfree colleagues … We spend a lot of time in the workplace, where sometimes there are many temptations for people in marriage. An outwardly attractive colleague and charming colleague may well become lovers without destroying their families.
- Couple with platonic love … Love between married and married does not always imply an intimate relationship. In some cases, this connection was in the past, but in the present the main participants of the quadrangle remain physically loyal to their legitimate halves.
Prospects for the development of relations between married and married
A love conflict of this kind can end both peacefully and problems for all participants in the events taking place. In most cases, the intimate quadrilateral has the following ending, which is often expected by almost all affected parties:
- Destruction of all families … If one of the lovers decides to change his life and start a new relationship with a secret partner, then this automatically affects his soul mate. In very rare cases, everyone is happy with such a verdict, because there will always be a person who has been mentally traumatized.
- Disappointment in the new chosen one … Leaving a family by slamming the door loudly is not difficult. In this case, I recall the love quadrangle "Anastasia Zavorotnyuk - Dmitry Stryukov - Sergei Zhigunov - Vera Novikova". Many people during that period of time closely followed the development of the relationship of a new couple who left their spouses. Result - The Beautiful Nanny leaves her Shatalin, and he, disappointed in his partner, returns to his ex-wife.
- Happy resolution of the situation … In fairness, it is worth noting the fact that there are rare exceptions when lovers create a new couple without hurting their former spouses. This happens when there are parallel extramarital relations in the second lawful halves, which they are quite satisfied with. Consequently, the rupture occurs in a civilized manner and with the consent of all participants in life's ups and downs.
- Risk of beatings … No matter how barbaric it sounds, but such a prospect may well become the outcome of events when exposing adventures on the side of secret partners. The lover, when revealing the deception, becomes a victim of a jealous husband, and the new lady of the heart should beware of revenge from the deceived and angry wife. In addition, both adventurers and thrill-seekers can suffer from their legitimate soulmates who find out about infidelity.
- Condemnation of parents by children … The child is always very keenly aware of the negative changes that are taking place in his family. If one of the parents wishes to unwind with the other partner, the psyche of an immature personality can be severely affected. As a result, children begin to either demonstratively show their dissatisfaction with the current situation, or withdraw into themselves for a long time.
Important! It is easy to destroy the old, but building the new on its ruins becomes in most cases a difficult process. You should carefully understand all the possible consequences of your behavior, so as not to be left with a broken trough and without prospects for family happiness in the future.
Love quadrilateral: options for exiting the maze
The desire to dot the "Y" and break an unnecessary connection can arise both in one of the partners and both participants in the melodrama that has arisen. In the second case, everything will happen quickly and painlessly for all the actors of the soap opera. The situation is worse if one of the secret partners wants to get freedom from unnecessary relationships, and the second is categorically against such a decision.
Independent actions to break the existing connection
In some cases, a person himself is able to get out of the vicious circle that he himself created. If one of the main participants in the love quadrangle is determined to end the extramarital affair, then he should take the following measures:
- Termination of interpersonal contact … It is always easier to say than to carry out the intended action. However, sometimes it is better to completely break off relations with a partner than to indulge him with unfounded illusions for a long time. You should be extremely careful when the lover is a nervous and hysterical person. Such subjects, out of revenge, are ready, even if they have their own family, to significantly harm the relatives of the initiator of the separation.
- Intimate talk … Nothing influences the human psyche like a reasonable and factual word. The relationship between a married woman and a married man initially implied the formation of a love quadrangle. Consequently, secret partners are responsible not only for the emotions they feel for each other, but also for their family members. In an essentially difficult conversation, it is necessary to emphasize precisely this factor, which in many cases works.
- Disclaimer of hyperresponsibility … You can't be good exclusively for everyone, so the initiator of the destruction of the intimate quadrangle should be consistent in his decision. Indeed, at the inception of such an intricate relationship, he did not think about what could hurt his legitimate soul mate. Therefore, in the goal set, it is necessary to go to the end, if extramarital relations have become burdensome.
Psychologists' advice on getting out of the love quadrilateral
The experts did not disregard the voiced problem, because a fairly large number of people are faced with it. To help the poor fellows who seek to break off relations on the side, they have developed a number of recommendations of the following plan:
- Definition with choice … To rush in this case with the thoughts “it is necessary - it will decide itself - maybe wait” is the worst of evils in the situation that has arisen. Psychologists advise to clearly set all priorities in order to cut the Gordian knot as quickly as possible.
- The "scenario of further relationship" method … During a confidential conversation, you can invite an already unwanted lover to voice the ending of an existing relationship outside of legal marriage aloud. Some people who are against the termination of an easy connection on the side are at a loss for such an offer. They automatically turn on the mechanism for assessing the prospects, which do not always look rosy.
- Round table method … This action sounds a little fantastic, but very often it works in relation to a person who is trying hard to maintain unnecessary relationships outside of marriage. Psychologists advise in this case to offer the stubborn a frank conversation with the whole friendly quartet, who involuntarily became connected by intimate relationships. An adequate person will refuse such an extreme experiment and may think about the advisability of further communication with the generator of such crazy ideas.
Watch a video about the relationship of not free people:
The psychology of the relationship between a married man and a married woman is a delicate bond that requires a serious attitude towards itself. A person always has the right to decide his own destiny, but one cannot use other people for selfish purposes. In order not to become in the future a toy in the wrong hands, it is necessary to avoid the possibility of becoming a manipulator in relation to a sexually attractive object in marriage.
