Is there a female friendship, what is the difference from male, psychology, signs and types of "girlish" relationships. Content:
- Is there a female friendship
- What is different from male
- Psychology
-
Varieties
- According to the theory of androgyny
- By the nature of communication
Women's friendship is an open warm relationship without mercantile interest, envy, flattery and deception, based on disinterestedness, willingness to help in difficult times, restraint in statements addressed to a girlfriend.
Is there a female friendship
Before talking about female friendliness, it is worth finding out what is meant by the term “friendship”. Psychologists understand this as a trusting relationship between people based on the purity of feelings that are not burdened with "dirty" interests, when the main thing is the desire for profit, money, other selfish thoughts, for example, honor, fame, promotion.
Friendship can arise at any age: childhood, adolescence, mature and already venerable. And in each it has its own characteristics. The strongest is tied in early childhood, as well as in school years, when everyone is equal and has common hobbies. Let's say they play together, study in the same class, go to the same circle.
The older a person gets, the more difficult it is to find real friends, relationships often take on a connotation of benefits. Let's say, "It is beneficial for me to be friends with him because he has good connections, if anything, it will help." This is true for both men and women. And it has nothing to do with the true concept of friendship, which implies selflessness.
So is there a female friendship, can there be, for example, real friendly relations between two already quite adult and married women? If so, on what basis are they based?
The myth that there is no female friendship was invented by misogynist men to justify their desire to keep their wives under vigilant surveillance. “There is no need to be distracted by shura-mura with your girlfriends. The main occupation of a woman is home and children, and everything else is just the whims of unbridled female fantasy, their emotional incontinence."
As you know, there is no smoke without fire. There is some truth in the judgment that there is no female friendship. The female character is complex and contradictory. The weaker sex is often captured by emotions, they overwhelm and burst into screams and scandals. And girlfriends do not spill water suddenly become sworn enemies. Those who have lived enough in the world, I think, can recall such a case.
You can often see two women talking for a long time and “cordially” on the street or chirping on a cell phone. Such talkativeness can be mistaken for real female friendship. Although this is far from the truth. Most likely, they have problems with communication, and the stormy verbal flow of two "bosom" friends satisfies the need for emotional contact.
When asked if there is female friendship, the answer must be in the affirmative. Of course, it is, it warms the hearts of women, allows them to feel needed not only in the family, but also in society. This expands the horizons of knowledge of the world. After all, communication is the main condition for an individual's life in society, it is not only the prerogative of the stronger sex. The beautiful half of the human race is also capable of communication, of strong female friendship.
It's important to know! Communication is that lifesaver that allows a woman's soul to warm up, it also defines the essence of women's friendship. However, ladies should be able to understand the reasons for a friendly relationship, as they often have a prudent, petty, mercantile character.
How women's friendship differs from men's
The answer to this question is unequivocal - of course, the difference between a female and a male character. For a man, a good friend, first of all, will be the one who keeps his word. This inspires trust and respect. Women are more prone to emotions, their relationships with girlfriends are painted in bright emotional colors.
A woman should be heard, this determines the motives and nature of strong female friendship. Its main differences from the male are:
- Emotional coloring of relationships … Women are open, they like to "whisper" more: to pour out their souls, to talk about their experiences, they have many friends. Men are more restrained in their emotions, so as not to think about them "wrong", do not like to talk about their weaknesses, close friends in spite of everything. The main thing is a favorite business, and after its successful completion, you can sit with a friend over a glass of beer and give free rein to emotions.
- Willingness to listen to advice … Communication between girlfriends is often based on the desire to receive some kind of recommendation. A friend will listen sympathetically and suggest something, it calms, gives hope that everything in life is going well. And if any difficulties have arisen, they will certainly be overcome. Men, on the other hand, like to be in the role of a mentor, they do not like to be "mentored". This, as it seems to them, humiliates manhood.
- Meeting frequency … Real girlfriends often meet, they have something to "talk about", something to tell each other. Such meetings set you in a positive mood, give you emotional relief, and calm you down. This is especially true for young women who are on maternity leave, they like to speak out when they meet, when they "walk" in the courtyard of a stroller with a baby. And men only in a good mood or on some significant date can meet and have a good time.
- Scrupulousness in a relationship … Female friendships are more responsive. Friends in their conversations like to dig to the smallest detail in order to find out everything finally. Men are not such "scum", they think roughly - broadly and straightforwardly, and then they are often surprised that "I thought well of him, but he turned out to be such a bastard."
- Consistency of thinking … Men rarely understand feminine logic; it is difficult for them to find a rational grain in some of their actions. For example, my wife went to the grocery store and returned with a purse. "Look how beautiful she is!" The husband does not understand this and is only angry. But a friend will appreciate the purchase and will admire it. The male logic is clearer, if he has already promised, he must do, and not be distracted by petty matters.
- Jealousy and rivalry … More feminine than masculine. And if they are present in female friendship, it is difficult to call it real. For example, if a gentleman "ran" between friends, this is the end of a warm relationship. Intrigues begin, ending in a scandal and a break in relations. Men prefer "fist" conversation to a quarrel. Although it is not at all a fact that the strongest will get the object of sighing.
Differences in male and female friendship do not detract from women at all, but only prove that the fair sex, due to its psychophysiological characteristics, has its own outlook on life.
The psychology of friendship between women
The psychology of female friendship is based on the desire to be heard and understood. The second important factor should be considered the sincerity of the relationship. If this is present in contacts, it means that women sympathize with each other.
Psychological nuances that confirm that female friendship exists should be considered as follows:
- Modesty … You should not brag about your achievements in front of your friends. For some, this can cause rejection, and someone will begin to envy. This leads to irritation and can permanently break friendships.
- Openness … The conversation should be warm, understandable and close, this creates an atmosphere of trust. But everything is in moderation. There should always be a corner in the soul where no one has access. You need to be able to keep your tongue on the "leash." Excessive frankness can always turn into big trouble.
- Listening skills … Even if the conversation is insignificant to you, you do not need to pretend that it is not interesting. You should not interrupt your friend with constant remarks and clarifications, you can just sympathize with her if he concerns her personally, or delicately try to move on to another topic.
- You should not consider yourself "the center of the earth" … Flaunting your specialness, incessantly chattering only about your successes and problems, not allowing your friend to insert words, is not the best character trait. In friendship, partners should be equal. Bragging is certainly not conducive to companionship.
- Benevolence … You need to understand so that in communication, give more than you receive. This will attract, friends will always listen to your opinion. You shouldn't expect any reward for your friendliness. Selflessness is the key to real strong friendship. A hint of any compensation for a good deed will cause dissonance in the relationship, sooner or later it will lead to a breakup.
- Be above resentment … If a girlfriend has offended inadvertently, you should not immediately imagine her as an enemy and take offense and start a quarrel. Try to explain what you didn't like in her words, this will lead to a calm conversation and an apology if she really is a real friend.
- No envy … She is the enemy of companionship. Even if it scratches in the shower, it should be suppressed. This implies serious work on yourself and will help maintain the friendship.
- Taboo on talking about intimate life … The conversation on this topic should be closed. Discussing personal life is a sign of bad manners, bad taste. If a close friend is trying to talk, say, about her friend, do not show too much interest in him, so that, willingly or unwillingly, she does not perceive you as a rival.
- Friendship strengthens communication … Therefore, contacts, for example, via mobile or Internet, should be regular, but in moderation so as not to cause complaints from a loved one or family. Sincere friendship should be varied, interesting, one-sided, when communication is imposed, becomes boring and will gradually stop.
- Don't lie … The lie will sooner or later be revealed, the relationship will become strained or completely come to naught.
- Promised three years do not wait … If something is promised to a friend, you need to fulfill it. A person who does not keep his word becomes uninteresting, friendship with such is avoided.
- Help in trouble … True female friendship implies all possible help even in the most difficult situation. For example, a friend needs an urgent operation, but she has no money. You also do not have the required amount, but turning away and pretending "I'm sorry, I can't help you with anything" is not a friendly relationship.
- No gossip … True friends will never scratch their tongues, spread gossip about each other. Even if a "cold" period has come in a friendly relationship, this is not a reason to doggy. "Everything will pass like smoke from spring apple trees." And then it will be nice to return to the good old relationship, not overshadowed by squabbles and slander.
- The ability to listen to criticism … The main thing is that the critical "verdict" is expressed to each other not in public, but in a friendly conversation. If a friend made a sick, but reasonable remark, you should listen to him and correct your behavior. This will only strengthen the friendship.
It's important to know! Women's friendship is not a competition, not an attempt to seem superior to her friend, but a pure, selfless relationship, in which there is no place for anger and envy, or other bad feelings. When this is the case, they must be protected.
Varieties of female friendship
It is impossible to say unequivocally about female friendship. It can be different. Not only clean and bright, sometimes rather unattractive. No wonder many men are skeptical about her. But what do psychologists say about her? This is an interesting question and should be considered in more detail.
What is female friendship according to the theory of androgyny
Based on the psychology of feminine nature, psychologist Sandra Boehm formulated the doctrine of androgyny. Its meaning is that in any person masculine and feminine traits are simultaneously present. They are manifested to varying degrees, identified on the scale of masculinity and femininity.
According to this theory, three types of friendly relations between women can be distinguished:
- Feminine traits prevail … If the character of the girlfriends is purely female, it is difficult for them to be friends. There will always be a competitive spirit in relationships. Such girlfriends constantly gossip and can say nasty things. But here's the paradox, in difficult times they will come to the rescue, because they experience the misfortunes of their acquaintances emotionally like a woman, they are driven by compassion and a desire to alleviate them.
- In the character of both masculine and feminine qualities equally … Outwardly, friendship will not look bright. Such friendly relations can be called harsh. No one will bury their noses on each other's shoulder in order to pour out their everyday sorrows. However, this relationship has its own charm. It is these kind of friends who often become business partners, help in business. They can compete, but not at all personally, but at work. “I’m doing everything perfectly,” and this will not sound like a reproach to a friend, a feeling of superiority over her.
- Male traits prevail … When one of the girlfriends has more masculine qualities in character, everything is rather slippery. Outwardly, it may look like a gay couple. For example, when parting, girlfriends kiss each other on the lips, although in fact they do not have intimacy. But where is the line that cannot be crossed? If one is more masculine and the other is more feminine, the male-female relationship may become predominant. In our time, it has become fashionable, such female couples are often reported by the media. And quite famous women from the world of sports, cinema and show business themselves do not hesitate to talk about it.
All three types are rare in their "pure" form. In real life, at some point one of them may prevail. For example, in their professional activities, girlfriends will be guided by the business style of friendship, when in communication male and female character traits are manifested evenly, in a relaxed home environment, female character traits will prevail.
What is female friendship by the nature of communication
In terms of character, women are strikingly different from men. Loneliness disgusts them, in the company of girlfriends they feel much more comfortable and calmer. But whether female friendship is cloudless, it is not always possible to give an affirmative answer. Each strives to be beautiful and constantly monitors her appearance in order to look irresistible for one hundred and twenty percent. This desire can develop into a persistent belief that she is "the best", which, of course, affects the relationship with girlfriends.
By the nature of communication, types of female friendships can look like this:
- Close friends … This type of communication is typical for extremely emotional women. For those who like to talk and listen a lot, sprinkling their dialogues with numerous details, often completely unnecessary. But such conversations give girlfriends indescribable pleasure and can go on for hours. They have a complete similarity of characters and tastes. There are practically no conflicts. This ideal friendship can only be overshadowed by a man who suddenly likes both of them. A love triangle is capable of causing discord in relationships, but sooner or later they are restored and peacefully continue for many years.
- Formal girlfriends … This is an official and not at all equal friendship. There are no close friendly relations; such a friend is remembered only when it is necessary to go to any business meeting. Strict requirements are imposed on her to be at the "level": appearance, manners, the ability to conduct a conversation and not hit her face in the dirt, the ability to charm men. They will also pay for such qualities. Naturally, they do not share secrets with such people and do not conduct sincere conversations. And at the slightest discrepancy with them, they quickly part.
- "Contrast" girlfriend … Some beautiful and proud women like to have unprepossessing friends. They love to patronize them, they feel confident with them. Such a girlfriend is not a rival, men will not pay attention to her, this satisfies ambitions. And the acquaintance is not proud, a simple woman, such a "friendly" participation does not bother her at all, she is content with her position and is always ready to help if she is needed.
- "Smiling" friend … A very sweet relationship. From the side it seems that you can't spill water on your friends. We are always ready to give good advice and help. And behind the eyes they say nasty things, in their hearts they hate each other. But for various reasons, they cannot break off the relationship. For example, husbands are very friendly, they have a common big business. Fights between families are inappropriate.
It's important to know! There can be many friends, but there is no real friend among them. And if this happened to you, you need to pay attention to your character. It is very likely that something is wrong in it and you need to correct it so that communication with you becomes pleasant. Is there a female friendship - look at the video:
So is there a female friendship, despite all the rather unsightly nuances of women's relations with each other? It certainly exists. Only the fair sex should choose friends among equals, and not soar in the heavens, so that later they will not bitterly regret that the most allegedly devoted girlfriend turned out to be the worst enemy. And if this condition is met, enjoy life and be friends with your health!
