Can there be friendship between a man and a woman, the reasons and types of such friendly relations, especially friendliness at different ages. Friendship between a man and a woman is an altruistic relationship between representatives of different genders, based on mutual sympathy, common interests, trust in each other and disinterested care and not having an intimate connotation. He and she remain just friends for any length of time.
Is friendship between a man and a woman possible?
Before talking about whether a friendly relationship between a man and a woman is possible, it is worth understanding what the experts mean in the word “friendship”. From the point of view of psychology, this is a strong, trusting relationship based on the spiritual closeness of friends. Friendship ties can be true, warm, sincere. When they ask a good comrade for a favor, it is not for nothing that they ask in confidence: "Do, please, not in service, but in friendship." True affection is based on selflessness, a person who is predisposed to another and considers him his friend is always ready to help and provide a service he can, without demanding anything in return. Such fraternal "innocent" friendship is quite natural between members of the same sex. It is quite normal for a guy to be friends with his peers. The same goes for girlish relationships. Although there can also be a gradation of relationships. In our mercantile age, the "ears" of self-interest are visible in everything. Often they try to be friends just because this person is needed. Let's say he has good connections that may well come in handy. And therefore it is worth contacting with such. So true, disinterested friendship in our time is an impermissible, one might even say, a forbidden luxury.
But what about the knightly relationship between the opposite sexes? Is there a friendship between a man and a woman, even without a hint of intimacy? Can they, in principle, be disinterested friends? Indeed, at the heart of their relationship is the powerful instinct of procreation. Nature has endowed Homo sapiens with three major motivations that determine his life: sex drive, hunger and thirst. The strongest of these is the reproductive instinct. And this is an intimate contact. The human race has stood and will stand on this!
No wonder many famous people were quite critical of the innocent friendship between a man and a woman. For example, Byron said that such a relationship is "love without wings", Arthur Conan Doyle originally remarked that "friendship between a man and a woman does no honor to a man and deprives a woman of honor." The "Iron Chancellor" of the German Empire, Otto von Bismarck, mocked that "the friendship between a man and a woman weakens very much with the onset of night." And the famous English writer Oscar Wilde was categorical: “Friendship between a man and a woman is an impossible thing; between them there can be passion, enmity, adoration, love, but not friendship. " O. Wilde was right. A varied shade of feelings, wide in palette, lies in the relationship between a man and a woman. In the end, they all lead to intimacy. It is based on the reproductive instinct, an inexorable biological law on the extension of the kind of "Homo sapiens" on our planet Earth. Although these days this unforgiving rule of nature has received a slightly different color. Now they talk more about sex - getting pleasure from intimate relationships, and not about offspring. The question of "childbearing" is often postponed until "later" and often with a completely different partner.
A wide range of opinions about the possibility of friendliness between the sexes - from a categorical "no!" to the conciliatory that "it may well be." And if, nevertheless, it happens that then prompts such a "sexless" relationship, what is the psychology of friendship between a man and a woman?
It's important to know! If a girl speaks to a guy about friendship, then she does not see him as a man. The reasons for this behavior are different, but a young person can react to this painfully.
The main reasons for friendship between a man and a woman
Based on the physiology of a man and a woman, experts argue that friendship between the sexes, in principle, cannot exist, but, nevertheless, it exists. In a civilized society, the relationship between the strong and the beautiful half of humanity does not dwell only on the sexual instinct, the desire to prolong one's race. There are many nuances why companionship takes on a "sexless" coloration. The reason for this, at first glance, is not always clear, and therefore non-standard behavior of both men and women can be various factors. These include:
- Mutual attraction … It is especially typical for a young age, when a guy and a girl are still not thinking about close relationships, they are still ahead, but interest in the opposite sex is already showing. Sympathy for each other takes the form of friendly relations.
- Hobby … When interests coincide. Let's say both are fond of sports or, for example, go to a dance club. A common hobby brings them closer together, develops into friendly communication. Such relationships can last quite a long time, and sometimes they remain for a lifetime.
- Commonality of views … Assumes a similar model of behavior based on common values. Let's say a believing woman meets a man in church. They are family, but their faith brought them closer and grew into friendship. Spiritual closeness does not allow you to cross the line when the relationship can become intimate.
- Similarity of characters … For example, both are honest, open and selfless. They are sickened by secrecy, lies, hypocrisy, greed. They trust people, are always ready to help them. A common cause, for example, helping the sick and the disadvantaged, brings them closer and develops into a friendship that does not cross the permitted boundaries.
- Unsuccessful marriage … They lived together for several years, but for various reasons separated, but remained friends. Alternatively, they have children in common, and therefore maintain friendly relations. Such relationships can be maintained by former lovers who have not "come down" to family ties.
- Friendship with a gay person … When a girl is friends with a gay man. He does not bother, it is easy to spend time with him, there is not even a hint of intimacy. Such a relationship is short-lived, but there is a place to be. Among young people it is quite acceptable.
Is there a friendship between a man and a woman? The answer to this question should be in the affirmative, which happens. However, it is extremely rare. In most cases, it develops into "friendly" intimacy or love.
Types of friendship between a man and a woman
There are several types of friendship between a man and a woman. The decisive role here is played by the age of the individuals. Let's consider all these options in more detail.
Friendship between a boy and a girl in childhood
Friendship between the sexes begins in childhood and continues at different ages. You can talk about a touching friendship between a boy and a girl under ten years old. In childhood, there is no conscious attraction to the opposite sex. Rather, there is curiosity that "she (he) is not (not) like me." There is no sexuality at all in such interest. Nature has taken care that for the time being, children grow up carefree. Their secondary sexual characteristics have not yet formed. Girls are not much different from boys in appearance. Children play together on the street, go to kindergarten, go to school. At this time, they can say about each other that “this is a good boy (girl), and this is a bad (bad) one”. They quarrel, reconcile, in a word, they are just friends. Childhood innocent friendship is the happiest early period of life, which will be remembered for the rest of your life.
Friendship between a boy and a girl during puberty
During puberty (puberty), romantic relationships between adolescents are also possible. The awakening sexual instinct begins to dictate to young men and women the peculiarities of behavior, which is not yet overshadowed by an adult outlook on life, when close communication between a man and a woman ends with sex.
With the onset of puberty, interest in the opposite sex awakens, as boys develop physically, become more masculine, and girls acquire femininity - their breasts are formed, their hips are rounded, and a slim figure becomes. Attraction to each other takes on a sexual connotation. However, maturity has not yet come, and therefore often relations acquire a friendly character. And whether they will be so depends largely on the girl. If she puts the "presumptuous" guy in his place in time, does not give a reason to talk bad about her, does not contact a bad company. In this case, friendship is possible on the basis of personal interests, coincidence of characters, common values. For example, a boy and a girl want to be teachers and dream of going to a pedagogical institute. They are interesting to each other, they have something to talk about. Therefore, sometimes they meet, although she does not consider him her boyfriend, and he does not see her as his maiden. How long such a relationship will last is another question. Friendship in adolescence depends on the personality traits of a guy and a girl. This is possible only if both are aware of the value of light friendly relations. Situational "friendship" often degenerates into primitive sexual relations, which in our time is not at all uncommon.
Friendship between a man and a woman in adulthood
Friendly relationships in adulthood, which can be called childbearing, are quite rare. It was at this time that the sympathy of a good fellow for a young woman (and vice versa) has a pronounced sexuality. Nature takes its toll, the question of procreation is acute. Although for some, this attraction may be unconscious, but purely on a biological level.
According to experts, friendship belongs to the moral category. This is a personal choice of a person: with whom to be friends and what is the point of investing in friendly relations. Nowadays, when life is not easy and a significant number of people are experiencing financial difficulties, friendliness is often understood as mercantile, petty, calculating relationships according to the formula: “You are mine, I am chibe! There is no smell of true friendship, not tainted by the mercantile spirit! This also applies to friendship between a man and a woman. Let's say they are familiar from childhood, everyone already has their own family, but they maintain friendly relations. And only because they need mutual support. For example, She is the head of a trading company, He is a tax inspector. This friendship is businesslike, it does not go beyond the established framework of decency, as sexual partners they are not interested in each other.
True companionship between a man and a woman is defined by selfless care and support. Without any boring criticism, let's say, “I told you that it was necessary to do this, and you?..”. No hierarchy and subordination, only the same position in the relationship! Equal rights in friendship is a guarantee that it will last for a long time, it is unlikely that in this case a man will hint at sex, knowing that he will receive a worthy rebuke. If he needs a good relationship with a woman, for example, general spiritual needs, he will restrain his erotic fantasies, even if physiology dictates them to him.
Therefore, true friendship between a man and a woman is always highly moral. In a relationship, they will never cross the established, even tacitly, boundaries of decency. This primarily applies to married people. It is not uncommon for married men to be friends with married women on the basis of common interests. Let's say they have common creative interests, both are wonderful artists. And such "easy" relationships, without any sexual overtones, have every right to life.
The situation with single young people is much more complicated. The question of "pure" friendship between, for example, a 30-year-old man and a woman is very problematic. Nature takes its toll, and the relationship between them will always have a sexual connotation that cannot be gotten rid of. Although here, too, friendly relations are possible, which can be called platonic love. This is when a guy gives flowers to his girlfriend, goes to the theater with her, disinterestedly provides various services, but there are no close, intimate relationships. Such friendship should be attributed to the category of psychological "quirks" associated with the fear of experiencing real violent feelings. To a greater extent, this applies to women.
The other extreme is when such a relationship indulges female vanity. Some representatives of the fair sex love to feel themselves in the center of male attention, they love to "drive crazy" the stronger sex with their extravagant antics. Such "unequal" friendship between a man and a woman also occurs quite often. She is nothing more than a substitution, a surrogate for real friendships. It's important to know! Despite all the nuances, real friendship between a man and a woman in adulthood can be! Just to find her, He or She needs to be at a level worthy of true companionship.
Friendship between a man and a woman in old age
In old age, its specific characteristics of friendship between "grandmothers" and "grandfathers", they are quite natural and continue until the death of one of the friends.
When the gray hair has silvered the whiskey, and the blood in the veins has "cooled down", the time of autumn begins in the relationship between a man and a woman. Sex is not so important here anymore. Health problems are more worried about, various ailments are plagued, it is necessary to be treated. And the children have already grown up and scattered, they have their own family, other concerns. And if the wife (husband) died? A person is lonely and sad, who needs him in this life? And how good it is when there is a person nearby who can serve a glass of water at a difficult moment.
Lonely old people are drawn to each other and often converge. A touching friendship in old age, when the person who needs you is next to you - this is a happy old age, a worthy ending to life. It is good when friends are not at a loss on a long journey of life! And it's great if a woman is such an old reliable friend! For a person whitened with gray hair, she forever remains young and beautiful. Life goes on even at a venerable age!
Is friendship between a man and a woman necessary?
Friendship presupposes a disinterested, equal relationship, such that it becomes warm in the soul. No wonder the main character of the Soviet cartoon "Little Raccoon" sang: "A smile will make everyone warmer, a smile in the sky will light up a rainbow, share your smile, and it will come back to you more than once." I want a clean, romantic relationship. And in life they are so lacking. And is it the norm for only representatives of the same sex to communicate with each other? Sincere male or female friendship is great! A friend will always come to the rescue and support in difficult times. However, friendship without any "back" thoughts of a man and a woman is a real celebration of life. The warmth of such friendly relations warms the heart, does not allow it to become hardened. Doesn't it give a man pleasure to communicate with a beautiful woman, and she feels a strong man's shoulder next to her? There are many different rainbow shades in true companionship between a man and a woman. Even Socrates said that "without friendship, no communication between people has value." Man is by nature a social being. Only in relationships with others can he show his true essence, what he really is. True friends will help you to realize life in all its charm and beauty. They are extremely necessary for both the stronger sex and the representatives of the fair half of our society. Friendship between a man and a woman is necessary and as natural as the air we breathe. Such a wonderful relationship breathes romance, and it is so lacking in our so anxious and mercantile time. It is expensive! There is no unequivocal opinion about the friendship of a man and a woman. To some, it seems unnatural, since the root cause of such a relationship always lies in sexuality. And they will be right. A man is by nature a hunter and is always looking for a "victim" for his sexual pleasures. Therefore, he often pretends to be a kind of wolf in sheep's clothing, who is not averse to making friends with a beauty. And on his own mind, he thinks how to drag her into bed.
Girls, too, quite often look for their own benefit in friendly relations with guys, and sometimes they just show off, trying to prove to their friends, they say, “that's what I am, I twist them as I want!”. These guys are called "bastards." However, you should not judge all women by them.
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The Bible says: "Seek, and you will find, knock, and it will be revealed to you." This also applies to friendship between a man and a woman. Those who want real friendships will definitely find them. With one small condition that he himself must correspond to those moral attitudes that He (She) wants to see in communication with the opposite sex.
