What mistakes spouses make during quarrels and what they can lead to, how to behave correctly during a quarrel, read this article … All married couples quarrel sooner or later, and most quarrels can arise from scratch, for nothing. This is because the spouses hear each other, but do not listen. And then their abuse develops into a whole scandal. After all, you don't want to give in!
Women, admit that we are all emotional about the "wrong judgments" of men who "want to appear" self-confident and right. Men avoid emotions during quarrels, so when you debate with them, try to "culturally" exchange ideas, listen to each other and find a common compromise. To avoid an argument, try to be more restrained and come up with specific suggestions.
In quarrels with your partners, you should not choose one or another position. Here are the mistakenly chosen actions of men and women that negatively affect relationships:
1. "Go to battle"
Condemn, reproach, criticize in words, prove that the partner is wrong, such people are able to express their anger in the most unattractive way: offensive insults and gradual cooling towards each other.
Why did the partner choose this tactic? Because he mistakenly thinks that in this way he will intimidate his spouse and by this will achieve love and support from him. After a forced retreat, the partner considers himself the winner, although this is not the case. As a rule, women, in order to protect themselves, begin to withdraw into themselves, and men adhere to the tactics of silence and become indifferent.
2. "Start a Cold War"
Some of the partners simply suppress their true feelings, trying to avoid conflicts and quarrels. As a result, they begin to lose contact with each other. The reason: one of them, under any pretext, avoids the conversation, and the problem, as it was unresolved, remains. Nobody can solve it for them. A "cold war" begins, which will not lead to anything good, except for divorce. Again, the right decision: calmly talk to each other and find a compromise.
3. "Put on a mask of happiness"
Such a mask is often used by women who are afraid of getting wounds inevitable in an open fight. For the spouse and everyone around them, they pretend to be a happy and serene woman. Sometimes this happens due to material dependence on their partner: they simply have nowhere to go, except just put up with it and put on a “mask of happiness”.
However, over time, indignation due to artificially created happiness may overwhelm, and past grievances accumulated over many years of marriage may emerge in the soul, and then, as cruel as it does not sound, either there is nowhere to go, but only grieve about a failed married life, or decide on divorce, or, finally, talk about everything with your partner. Timely conversation could have prevented everything, so that the subsequent relationship was "healthy".
4. "Resign yourself to everything"
Another mistake during the appearance of quarrels in the family is humility and, as a rule, the humility of a woman. Although in some families it happens the other way round. The resigned spouse begins to be a “target” for the partner's reproaches and becomes responsible for both the good and the bad that can happen to the partner. In other words, he indulges him in everything and loses his point of view.
From the outside, such a family looks like an idyll, but someone who constantly obeys everything can simply lose himself as a person. You should not guess the desires of your partner, adjust to him, as a result, this obedience over the years can result in indignation and indignation. Express your point of view to him in a calm tone, let him express his own, and you will definitely come to a compromise.
The most important thing is to find a "middle ground" so as not to go overboard with your statements, but also not to accept everything and not wear a "mask of happiness." Be honest with each other and keep calm on your ship of marital bliss!
