Re-marriages and their features. The article will discuss the complexities of new relationships and the reasons for the breakup of the families that have been formed. Also, advice will be given on competent behavior in the current situation in order to avoid re-divorce. The listed types of remarriage are not an absolute axiom, because life often adjusts our plans. A person sometimes performs the most incredible acts, surprising others with the reason for his new entry into a legal relationship.
Features of behavior in repeated marriages
All our actions lend themselves to concretization when it comes to adequate people. Consequently, it is quite easy to determine the pattern of behavior of subjects who have once again formalized their relationship.
Psychological aspects of remarriage:
- Discretion in remarriage … In this case, euphoria and belief in eternal love, which is so characteristic of young ladies, pass. Consequently, with the fact of remarriage, there is no longer blind adoration of your partner for no apparent reason. On the one hand, this is a very good help for forming a new family. However, sometimes excessive analysis of the new chosen one can nullify respect and love in the newly formed couple.
- Behavior based on past mistakes … We all learn from bitter experiences in the past. To step on a rake again is the lot of people who are very short-sighted. Ideally, you should focus on the positive aspects of the previous marriage. A common mistake of losers in personal life is the expectation of the sins of the predecessor from the new partner, because the saying “it's better to be a sinner than to be reputed” will work.
- Searching for the opposite … A person who has suffered for a long time with a tyrant or alcoholic is unlikely to be attracted by the described type with the overtones of immoral behavior. In a new marriage, partners will first of all be afraid of repeating previous mistakes if the chosen one begins to act in the same way as his predecessor. However, we all hope for the best, so the model of behavior when looking for a new partner still implies an element of contrast against the background of past experience.
- Personal deformity … In this case, it is worth talking about those people whom life never teaches anything. This even somewhat resembles masochism, when a person chooses a new partner with the same model of behavior as in previous relationships. It is not worth judging such losers, because only the help of a qualified specialist and the support of loved ones can pull them out of their depression.
Important! The psychology of remarriage is primarily based precisely on the desire to protect oneself from another failure in his personal life, from which no one is immune. This will help the competent advice of a psychologist or a person whose family is exemplary in building new relationships.
Conflicts in remarriage and their solution
In any family, it is impossible to avoid various disagreements, because all people are different and often selflessly defend their opinions. Especially dangerous in this regard are the so-called "Italian" couples, where passions are boiling so actively that it is better for outsiders to stay away from such a family coalition.
Conflicts in remarriage most often occur for the following reasons, which were clearly identified by psychologists:
- Role uncertainty … If in a previous relationship a woman or a man was much younger than her other half, then in a remarriage with a peer or a particular older one, a situation of rejection may arise. We all get used to something, so it is difficult to adapt to the new conditions of family life. As a result, partners stop hearing each other, which leads to the destruction of remarriage.
- Lack of contact with new family members … Often people come into relationships with a load of their problems, which then turn into big trouble. Getting in touch with children from a previous marriage can be challenging. Small personalities begin to rebel and give their ultimatums. Parents have to react to these protest gestures because they love their children. The exceptions are those people who build their personal lives with complete disregard for the moral state of their child.
- Lack of common interests … When we want to be liked, then if we want to remarry, we try to please our partner as much as possible. Loneliness always dictates its own conditions, under which a person can even step on the throat of his own interests. Hating fishing and football, a woman begins to delightfully talk about all the delights of this leisure, because they are important to her lover. The man, in turn, is ready to listen to a bunch of gossip from his beloved, which are not important to him, but bring joy to her. Crocheting, spearfishing, an amateur club of any format - all this can ultimately alienate a soul mate who does not like such a pastime.
- Jealousy of old relationships … Remarriage is always a real threat of comparison with a previous partner with an unflattering final assessment. We are all inherently owners to some extent, so not everyone likes the fact that a loved one before remarriage was carried away by someone else. The situation can be complicated by the fact that in the previous relationship the partner has a child. Children may not accept the new choice of one of their parents, which will eventually lead to conflict.
There is a way out of each situation, which is not so difficult to find. Psychologists recommend the following ways to resolve a conflict situation in remarriage:
- Loyal communication with children from previous relationships … The beginning of the end of remarriage is the prohibition of the second half to communicate with a loved one from another person. Wise people who want to maintain a new relationship should try as much as possible to establish a bond with a baby or adolescent close to their partner. However, one should not go too far if a categorical "no" was said to this impulse from the side of the past chosen one. You will not be cute by force, as the wise popular saying goes. In addition, in a situation where a family was destroyed by a person to create a new one, one cannot count on indulgence and tolerance.
- Correct comparison with the previous partner … We are all imperfect, so comparing ourselves with someone is pointless. If a person filed for divorce, then this only means that the previous relationship did not suit him in the most serious way. Therefore, comparing the new chosen one with the previous one will be simply illogical and unpromising. The situation is worse in the case of the death of a loved one, because his image will be unambiguously idealized and erected on a pedestal. However, it is worthwhile to understand for yourself the fact that the dead will not return, and it is not worth destroying a new chance for a happy life.
- Search for common hobbies … At the same time, no one offers to attend fights without rules if the spouse likes it so much and is categorically not to the taste of his soul mate. However, the partners somehow liked the friend earlier, therefore, it is not worth taking as the main reason for the union exclusively sexual cravings in remarriage. Therefore, you can find a movie that will interest both spouses, or just visit an exhibition of pets (rarely does anyone not like our little furry brothers). There are many ways to make joint leisure time effective and multifaceted, but this requires some effort.
Watch the video about remarriage:
The remarried relationship is a factor that determines how a person understands their mistakes. The second time to get up on the same rake is not the result of introspection, therefore, you should clearly define for yourself all the prospects for new relationships and their preservation.
