The article discusses the main signs, causes and varieties of dependence on relationships, the mechanism of its development and effective ways to deal with it in a situation "here and now." Note! Children's psyche is quite unstable and very susceptible to psychotraumas, which cause many problems in the future, up to the impossibility of creating a normal, full-fledged family. Raise your children responsibly!
Signs of a person's addiction
Like any addiction, love addiction (passionate attachment to another person) has a number of clearly limited features that allow you to define this condition:
- The impossibility of ending a traumatic relationship - not a single dependent individual can independently get out of his state without external intervention.
- The desire to merge personalities into one - the dependent person is trying to "absorb" or "dissolve" in his partner.
- Obsession with the object of your love - all thoughts and feelings are only about him.
- Denial of dependence - no individual who is under someone else's influence voluntarily admits his submission.
- Feeling of own worthlessness in a relationship - a person cannot end or change the nature of their relationship.
- The rupture of already established personal ties inevitably leads to depression and a general aggravation of the psychoemotional state of the individual.
- The development of the structure of a pathological personality, where the absence of an internal meaning-forming factor prevails. The person on which a person depends is an inanimate factor that gives meaning to existence.
It is worth noting that the psychology of addiction in relationships is a search for positive factors to combat inner emptiness and anxiety, obsessive fears. The beloved acts as a knight who protects his beloved from all troubles and misfortunes.
Varieties of relationship dependence in a person
The search for an object of sighing is based on what a person needs most of all, what needs he wants to satisfy and how. Therefore, there are several types of addiction.
Types of dependencies in relationships:
- Addicted to feelings of love … It is important for a person to personally experience these emotions of falling in love; relationships with a loved one are not particularly important.
- Addiction "hate" … Destructive forms of relationships between people, when conflict situations prevail, which have not found their logical resolution.
- Addiction "my duty" … A type of addiction based on the strongest sense of one's own duty to a partner, since extreme options for the behavior of another person after a breakup are considered: suicide, binge, overdose.
- Addiction "addiction" … When an individual is completely subordinate to the will and feelings of another person, he feels his own helplessness. Slave behavior.
Ways to Deal with Relationship Addiction
The fight against addiction is based on the destruction of pathological intrapersonal connections that form it. How to get rid of an obsessive state at home and who to turn to for specialized help, we will consider below.
You don't always want to go to a specialist with your problems, so you can deal with them at home, but only if the process of dependence on relationships has not dragged on to the emotional and mental exhaustion of the individual against the background of constant stressful stimuli.
Home use methods:
- Find your favorite activity … It will become an impetus for self-development of the individual, and will also add a meaning-forming factor.
- Record your own feelings and emotions … This will help you reflect on what the destructive relationship has given you and what positive emotions you are experiencing now.
- Analysis of children's experiences and emotions … Allows you to identify the root cause of addiction.
- Add information resources … Broadening your horizons is an important stage in the struggle with your problem, allowing you to consciously go to get rid of it.
- Analysis of previous relationships and reasons for the breakdown … Perhaps, among the methods used to get out of an unsuccessful union for you, there is a suitable one.
- Get the support of your loved ones … Parents know us like no one else, perhaps they can help you understand this difficult situation.
- Variety of leisure activities … Not only a hobby, but also study, work, and help around the house will allow you to get rid of obsessive thoughts and increase self-esteem.
- Work on bugs … It is recommended to disassemble all relationships and make a list of "How not to behave in a relationship."
- Computer test "Level of personal anxiety" … Everyone can go through it at home. He will help to control the internal mental state on his own.
All these methods of struggle are suitable only in that situation if the addict realizes the full degree of responsibility for his life and is ready to change it. Otherwise, specialized intervention and correction of the person's summing up with the help of psychotherapy will be required.
Psychological methods of dealing with relationship addiction:
- Self-development and self-esteem training … In the group, some processes proceed faster, the emotional component is pronounced, the support of others is felt, which the dependent person needs so much.
- Accelerated maturation method … Most often, a dependent person is infantile, lacking initiative, he is tormented by doubts and feelings of guilt. Therefore, the psychologist gives tasks in which the infantile person is obliged to take responsibility for himself, make a decision or somehow express himself (it is easier to work in creativity - drawings, expositions, theatrical genres …).
- Psychotherapy … The subject gets rid of the obsession and forms a further plan of action in life.
How to deal with relationship addiction - watch the video:
Relationship addiction or addiction to a mild degree is very rarely treated by specialists, when a person can cope with it himself and the general psycho-physiological state of the body does not suffer, but in its extreme manifestations (phobia of loss of a loved one, thoughts of suicide due to a break in relations, etc. etc.) needs psychological control and correction.
