The unwillingness of the husband to have children and the reasons for this behavior of a loved one. Recommendations for women to address this issue in the most effective way. A husband's unwillingness to become a father is a problem that can bring any woman to a nervous breakdown. Almost every woman wants to become not just a life partner for her chosen one, but also the mother of his child. This factor is inherent in nature, so the unwillingness of a spouse to have offspring can lead his beloved into a state of depression.
The main reasons for a man's unwillingness to become a father
Sometimes in a couple who lives in perfect harmony, there is a conflict over this issue. At the same time, the wife dreams of a baby, and her husband actively resists such a desire. In this case, the man motivates his refusal to replenish the family as follows:
- Fear of losing personal freedom … The appearance of a baby in the family always limits his parents in their field of activity. After this significant event, dad and mom cannot spend all their free time with friends or visit places of interest to them earlier. It is this factor that most often scares men who ask their spouse to wait with the child.
- Reluctance to take responsibility … Some members of the stronger sex remain children at heart, who need to be patronized. Having found a second mother in the face of a strong-spirited wife, they do not want to give up her custody. The appearance of a child in the family implies the fact that the man must become the support of the family. This responsibility scares some individuals so much that they do not want to become fathers.
- Jealousy for his wife … Outspoken owners are really afraid of losing their spouse's affection after the birth of a child. They argue their fears by the fact that the beloved woman will devote all her free time to the baby, thus depriving her of her husband's affection.
- Financial difficulties … A small child always involves certain cash costs. Not all men are ready to accept this fact, because it implies additional costs on their part.
- Single-parent family in the past … Some representatives of the stronger sex do not want to become fathers, because they themselves were brought up without them. Such a family model seems standard to them, so they are afraid of discord in relations with their spouse and divorce with her after the birth of the baby.
- Hereditary disease … Even without consulting a geneticist, suspicious men are aware that their offspring may be somewhat inferior. Certain pathologies are transmitted from parents to children, so the husband categorically declares to his wife that he is not ready to become a father.
- Fear of losing interest in intimacy … Some men believe that the libido of their beloved woman will go out after the birth of a child. They are prompted to this conclusion by the incorrect interpretation of information on the Internet and the conventional opinion of incompetent friends.
- Second marriage … Not all men start a new relationship with a clean slate. Unwillingness to acquire offspring is often explained by the fact that a loved one already has a child from his first wife.
If the husband does not want children for a good reason, then you should not blame him. The fear of reproducing sick offspring in him is a serious reason for seeking help from a specialist.
Manifestations of unwillingness to become a father
A woman, entering into marriage, considers the birth of a joint child to be a natural continuation of a stable relationship. She begins to realize the strange behavior of her husband a year after her beloved took an oath of fidelity.
It should be remembered that a man who does not want a child usually behaves as follows:
- Relevant conversations … The spouse in this situation begins to think for a long time about what needs to be lived for himself. He argues such reasoning by the fact that in Europe it has become the norm to give birth to a woman after 35 years. Experts decipher such a conclusion from her husband as unwillingness to become a father.
- Examples … The comparison in this case is not in favor of the family, where the child should be. Usually a man in his arguments uses such a concept as childfree. The main argument in this case, the husband considers the opinion of such stars as Mylene Farmer, George Clooney and Patricia Kaas, who do not consider the birth of an heir to be a necessary fact.
- Purchase of contraceptives … In some cases, the spouse may think that the female microflora of the partner's genitals negatively affects his health. If these conclusions are not substantiated, then it is worth considering the question of why the husband does not want a child.
Attention! Such excuses of a loved one should alert the woman close to him. If she is determined to have a baby in the family, then she needs to take all measures to realize her dream.
How to behave if the husband does not want to have a child
In this case, you should act on the contrary in order to maintain your relationship. If the husband does not want to have children, then it is necessary to familiarize yourself with the memorandum of correct and destructive actions in solving this problem.
Wrong actions of a woman
Some women try to make their family complete in the most radical ways, which usually lead to disastrous results:
- Deception … Talking about safe days, hormonal disruptions and other feminine tricks can disarm a man for a while. As a result, he will understand everything, which will cause him an extremely negative reaction to pregnancy, which he did not expect and did not want.
- Suggestion … Especially sensitive ladies can resort to the voiced method of influencing the husband's psyche. In this case, the expression that water wears away a stone is definitely not suitable. Persuasion can only embitter a loved one, which is very dangerous for an already existing marriage.
- Blackmail … The most disastrous of the listed methods of influencing the consciousness of a spouse is precisely this method. At the same time, you can defend your point of view, having lost your husband after such maneuvers, even with an already onset pregnancy.
Correct behavior tactics
Many women have wisdom that can melt the heart of any man. If you want to convince your spouse about family planning, you can resort to the following methods:
- Confidential conversation … In some cases, it is a heart-to-heart conversation that helps loving hearts come to a common solution to a problem. In this situation, it is best to start communication on abstract topics, then smoothly moving on to a specific issue. It all depends on the time the couple spent together. If the relationship has been stable for more than three years, then this conversation will be appropriate. It is necessary to correctly ask the husband about the date when the child will appear in the family. If, in response, a woman hears a figure of one or two years, then you should not despair. However, after the expiration of this period, you should remind your beloved that real men do not throw words to the wind.
- Correct dialogue … The order tone and moralizing should be forgotten in a situation where a woman wants a child while a man does not want such a fact. You should disguise your claims under the phrases "it would be nice", "but look at that baby" and "how happy they are with the child." In this case, it is necessary to act delicately so as not to scare off a potential father.
- Help from parents … The experience of the older generation of the family very often helps young people to build their relationships correctly. If your husband does not want to have a child, you can turn to his dad or mom for help. Dreaming of grandchildren, they are able to radically convey their plans to a careless son who protects his freedom.
- Positive example … If there is a family with a child among friends, then it is worth more frequent raids into this house. Having discussed in advance all aspects of such visits with the owners, it is really possible to achieve a significant result from a husband who does not want his own baby to be born.
- Visit to playgrounds … In this case, it is worth using a woman's cunning. You can tell your spouse that fatigue has taken its toll and you need to sit on a bench next to such a recreation area. Unwillingly, the husband will have to watch how the children frolic and with what care their parents treat them.
- Giving up some pleasures … A child is always a reason to spend your savings on him once again. A woman who dreams of children should understand her husband's fears about financial spending. If at the same time she continues to squander the family budget, then she will never receive consent to have a child.
- Financial report … For especially scrupulous men in this regard, you can draw up a family business plan for several years. In each section of such a presumptive report, the costs for both adults and a baby should be described. At the same time, it is worth indicating the allowance for him and the mother's ability to support the baby. Some men, after the voiced figures, say a phrase cherished for a woman in the form of "sit at home and take care of our child."
- Evidence method … Correctly using this method of influencing a spouse, it is quite easy to learn about his vision of reality. You can also try tactics that rarely work. As a child, my husband definitely had favorite toys. It is necessary to provide them to the husband with a request to describe the emotions when demonstrating these items.
- Rethinking intimacy … A woman who wants to get pregnant very often loses control of her behavior. For her, her husband's own pleasure and physical relaxation fade into the background, because the main goal is to conceive a child. At the same time, she forgets the fact that her husband begins to analyze the events taking place with him and will even more begin to reject thoughts of possible paternity. It is necessary to make it clear to a loved one that he is always a desirable man in a woman's life, regardless of any circumstances.
- Change of image … An unkempt wife can make her husband want to remain childless. At the same time, he will think that after the birth of the baby, his beloved woman will finally stop looking after herself. It is necessary to show your spouse that under any circumstances he will see in front of him a spectacular beauty who is able to amaze him with her visual transformations.
- Knight's move … If the husband already has a child from his first marriage, then it is worth acting wisely in this situation. You should behave in such a way that the baby does not feel the difference in attitude. With this tactic, a woman can achieve what her chosen one wants to make her the mother of her child.
- Watching films … Action movies and fantasy in this case will wait, because it's time for family leisure time. Psychologists, when asked what to do if the husband does not want children, are quite categorical in their opinion. They are sure that it is everyday life and routine that kill the desire to become a father in a man. Therefore, it is necessary to interest the husband in a romantic dinner and watching a suitable film on the subject. It is with the help of films such as "Uncle Buck", "Breakfast at Daddy's", "Mustache Nanny" and "Once upon a time twenty years later" that you can solve the problem that has arisen if your husband does not want to have children
What to do if the husband does not want a child - watch the video:
If a man does not want a child, he should think about his behavior model. Many famous personalities abandoned the joys of motherhood, but then bitterly regretted their choice. It is necessary to set a goal for yourself to become a happy woman with a baby in her arms, having competently summed up your loved one to this conclusion.
