Autophobia (fear of loneliness) and its manifestations. The article will discuss the reasons, signs and ways of dealing with such a phenomenon, which can destroy the life of even the most adequate person. The fear of loneliness is a feeling that can overtake any person. With a given state of mind, people begin to wonder why this is happening to them. You need to understand how this fear is triggered and how to get rid of it.
The causes of fear of loneliness in humans
First of all, it is worth noting the fact that there are few people who feel comfortable in this state. A convinced lone wolf is more the exception to the rule than the norm in the form of a clear life position. Therefore, psychologists have identified the following possible reasons for the occurrence of such fear:
- Childhood problems … Sometimes in life there are such moments when a child feels betrayed by his own loved ones. This happens if the parents are busy either with the arrangement of their personal life, or with career growth to the detriment of raising a son or daughter. Too busy dads and mothers very often give the child to relatives, and more wealthy people to nannies. The departure of one of the parents to another family also becomes a big tragedy for a child or teenager. This fact is especially exacerbated by the subsequent appearance of a stepbrother or sister, which does not always make an offended child happy. Even a seemingly innocent phrase like “you won’t calm down - I’ll give you to another aunt (uncle)” can trigger the mechanism of autophobia (fear of loneliness) in a baby. The result is a person who is closed in the future, who does not trust anyone and is at the same time in constant fear of being alone with himself.
- Troubled teenage companies … In this case, some will be surprised at the voiced reason for a person's fear of loneliness. However, one should not rush to conclusions, because such informal groups rarely cause positive emotions (apart from unhealthy euphoria). All of them are connected not by friendship or common constructive ideas, but by the desire to show sometimes senseless protest. Moreover, such adolescents themselves do not know what they need and why they have united into a community. “Alone among the crowd” is a clear definition of such a pastime for children. In the future, each of them can turn into a person who is afraid of becoming a loner, but, in essence, is one.
- Low self-esteem … Only those people who cannot tear themselves away from the mirror at the sight of a perfect reflection in it live excellently. Egoists and narcissists do not have the fear of being alone, because they feel good in a wonderful company with themselves. However, there are very few such people, because even such personalities need someone to admire them. In the case of low self-esteem, a person begins to fear that everyone around will see his shortcomings and leave him.
Important! These three causes of fear of loneliness are not harmless factors as they seem at first glance. In some cases, they can lead to suicide, which in itself is considered a serious cause for concern.
The main symptoms of fear of loneliness in humans
Before starting to study the question of how to cope with the condition, you should consider the symptoms of this mental pathology:
- Lack of confidence in their abilities … In this case, a person seeks support from stronger people, who often turn out to be colossus with feet of clay. The fear of loneliness pushes weak individuals to live in someone else's pattern, which is a very disturbing factor.
- Excessive compliance … It is very easy to recognize such individuals, because they step on the throat of their pride without any visible problems and are ready to adjust to the opinion of others. Having created an idol for themselves, even from an insignificant person, they suffer humiliation and even beatings from fear of loneliness.
- Chronic anxiety … An unanswered SMS or the chilling information “the subscriber is out of reach” throws the suspicious alarmist out of balance. The thought of losing a loved one brings the described type of people to depression. In this case, it is especially difficult to figure out how to overcome the fear of loneliness, because the state can become almost a manic idea.
- Onerous vows of love … When close physically and spiritually partners confess their feelings for each other in the form of beautiful romantic dates or lush phrases - this is the norm for adequate people. If a boy with a burning gaze or a lady with a rebellious soul begins to demand a declaration of love from the second half every minute, then this phenomenon can be called a pathology.
- Lack of logic in behavior … Every person has committed irrational actions at least once in his life, but it is always important to stop in time. In modern society, there are individuals who are afraid that they will be abandoned, and they do it first. After a heroic, from their point of view, act, they are looking for a new partner, whom they no longer believe in advance. The other extreme is actions under the slogan of joining your destiny with the first comer. In such a case, the "iron" logic is triggered that everyone will be dismantled and the loneliness of the soul and body will come for those who did not have time.
The main types of fear of loneliness
Skeptics with the voiced factor may smile, considering this assumption illogical. However, even they cannot deny the obvious fact that men and women react differently to the situation that has arisen.
Fear of loneliness in men
Many will agree that this feeling rarely visits the strong half of humanity. Some men will be able to understand what loneliness is in its most unsightly form, only at the end of their years. Before that, they openly collect women, considering this the norm of a real womanizer's life.
However, there are individuals who tend to understand what the fear of loneliness is in a man. The sources of such feelings in them should be sought in such provocative factors:
- Othello syndrome … This type of man sees a catch everywhere when it comes to adultery. At the same time, they themselves can have fun on the side, which makes them even more jealous in relation to their other half. They do not intend to lose their beloved woman even with their own fleeting intrigues. However, the mega-males understand that their wives can do the same to them, which causes men of this type to fear loneliness in the future.
- Possible financial insolvency … Some representatives of the stronger sex believe that a woman can love them solely for mercantile purposes. No one disputes that this happens when love replaces such a concept as market relations. However, the saying that with a cute paradise in a hut has not yet been canceled. At the same time, some men are very afraid of losing their beloved woman in the event of a possible bankruptcy. The fear of loneliness, which they already picture in their imaginations, begins to haunt them.
- Busy business life … A workaholic to the bone will never experience the fear of loneliness, because his most beloved woman is work. Casual connections will suit him completely, if they do not interfere with the career advancement of the ambitious. In the race for success, such men do not see anyone around, including even themselves. However, some of them dream of a family and children, realizing that with such an intense rhythm of life, it will be problematic to acquire all this. The result is the fear of loneliness in its most classic manifestation in fairly successful men.
- Disappointment in a loved one … I immediately recall the phrase from the famous film by Leonid Bykov "Only old men go to battle" that men do not cry, but are extremely upset. However, this is far from the case, because any person, regardless of gender, is capable of acutely reacting to betrayal. At the same time, deep scars remain on his soul, no matter how pompous it may sound. Men after the departure of their beloved woman or her betrayal very often begin to experience autophobia (fear of loneliness).
Note! Many people find it unacceptable to reveal their emotions to the stronger sex. However, doctors and psychologists are convinced of the opposite, focusing on the fact that gender division is inappropriate in this case.
Fear of loneliness in women
Women are weak and gentle creatures, because public opinion says so. And this is often true, if you do not take into account the active feminists. Such ladies are not afraid of a wrench in inept hands, and they will not be afraid of fixing the electrical wiring with the help of instructions for beginners.
However, the fear of loneliness in women of any type of character can still be present for the following reasons:
- Unsuccessful marriage … The sacrament of bonds, as you know, will be imprinted in heaven. In reality, an ardent admirer can, after marriage, turn into anyone: a sweet young man into a tyrant, and a romantic into a curmudgeon. The candy-flower period is a wonderful time for relationships, but everyday life is a routine that can destroy even the most sparkling feelings. At the same time, a woman is offered two ways out: to endure or look for a new love. In the first case, the fear of being alone will force her to live with her disgusted husband. When considering the second option, she thinks that the awl will simply be exchanged for soap.
- Painful divorce … If a woman nevertheless decided to start a new life, then there is no guarantee that she will get rid of such misfortune as the fear of loneliness. In this case, she can begin an active search for a partner, which can sometimes lead to sad consequences. After the end of a painful relationship, the method when a wedge is knocked out by a wedge does not work. It takes time to restore your state of mind without succumbing to panic and autophobia.
- Betrayal or death of a loved one … If a woman has experienced such a personal drama, then her psychological state can seriously change. In stress, she simply is not able to reasonably reason how to get rid of the fear of loneliness. This requires only time, which, as you know, heals.
- The hopelessness of creating a family … Finding your other half is very difficult, if you do not go to extremes such as marriage with the first person you meet. In this case, the woman, seeing all her vain attempts to create a serious relationship, begins to experience an acute fear of loneliness.
- Inability to have a child … The voiced reason can completely ruin the fate of many women. At the same time, fear of being alone begins to prevail over common sense, because the failed mother constantly thinks about the advisability of such a relationship in the future.
Important! Women experience voiced psychological problems more acutely than men. However, not all psychologists agree with this point of view, because, in their opinion, everything depends solely on the mood of a person outside of his gender.
Methods for Dealing with Fear of Loneliness
The described phenomenon is a pathological condition, from which it is necessary to get rid of by any means. In this case, psychologists give the following recommendations on how to overcome the fear of loneliness:
- Auto-training … Do not think of loneliness as a one-way ticket to nowhere. Sometimes it helps a person to sort out his feelings and emotions, which is so important for the restoration of his mental state. At the same time, a real opportunity is provided to do what was hindered by active communication with the outside world. Therefore, it is necessary to make an installation for yourself according to the following scheme: I am alone - this is temporary - I will take care of myself - I will return to society.
- Diverse leisure activities … Being bored and suffering in forebodings is not logical behavior for a sane person. The world is full of interesting opportunities, which are not only possible, but also necessary. A self-sufficient person will not think about the prospect of being in splendid isolation, because she is surrounded by people who fill her leisure with bright colors.
- Psychotherapist help … It is worth contacting such a practicing specialist when the problem that has arisen threatens a serious mental disorder for a person. There is so-called cognitive-behavioral treatment, which involves establishing a direct connection between emotions and the patient's reality.
How to get rid of the fear of loneliness - watch the video:
Modern life often dictates its own conditions to us, in which there is no place and time for emotional experiences. However, psychologists have not in vain developed a system of how to deal with the fear of loneliness. More and more people are faced with a similar problem, which can seriously complicate life. The voiced recommendations will help everyone understand the essence of his problem, because they give a real chance to get rid of the fear of loneliness.
