The child is called names and why it happens. Ways to determine the occurrence of ridicule in relation to your child. Helping parents to children who have been bullied. Calling a child is a problem that affects not only offended children, but also their parents. Such attacks can be from both very young provocateurs and students of secondary (senior) school. Some insults in the children's team take on such a scale that only then they turn into rot and persecution. You should not calmly react to such things, because in most cases, such bullying pushes the child to attempt suicide.
Why do they call names and tease a child?
Before proceeding to solving the problem closely, it is necessary to understand the origins of the situation that has arisen. In most cases, a child is teased for the following reasons:
- Difference in social status … In some children's groups, they mock those outcasts, whose parents cannot afford to buy expensive things for their son or daughter. In this case, it all depends on the nature of the child, because often people from poor families are leaders in kindergarten or school. With rather aggressive behavior, they compensate for the financial insolvency of their parents.
- Physical handicap … It can be expressed both in the limited abilities of children, and in some defects in a child in the form of overweight. It is for this reason that peers begin to come up with all sorts of offensive nicknames, which are then firmly attached to the victims of child cruelty.
- Intellectual development problems … Parents are not always ready to send their beloved child to the class of DPD (mental retardation) or to a specialized institution. At the same time, they risk that in the kindergarten and general education school their child will begin to call names and give impartial characteristics.
- Independent opinion … Not every children's collective will accept that rebel, whose opinion is radically different from generally accepted concepts. White crows are usually disliked and try in every possible way to destroy their individuality by name-calling.
- Funny first or last name … Parents should carefully consider how to name their baby. Quite often, offensive nicknames appear after the association of a child's initials with offensive comparisons.
- Problem family … Dad or mom can abuse alcohol, actively search for another "companion" in life. All this affects their reputation, which instantly becomes known to literally everyone. Some parents allow themselves to discuss the families of their children's classmates, which then leads to the organization of bullying a child with a difficult fate.
- Inappropriate victim behavior … In some cases, the children themselves are to blame for being called names. Being aggressors by nature, they turn the collective against themselves.
- Incorrectness of the teacher … Sometimes the educator or teacher himself may, through negligence (even intentionally), give a nickname to one of his charges. Such behavior of adults, who enjoy authority, is happily picked up by local little hooligans.
You must first understand the reason for the aggression of other children in relation to their child. It is in it that we should look for ways to resolve the conflict, which is capable of creating an inferiority complex in the victim of offenders for life.
Key signs that a child is being called names
It is far from always possible to understand that your beloved offspring is having problems either with individual children or with the team in general. Psychologists advise parents to be wary of this factor if their offspring began to behave rather strangely.
There are five stages in the development of a voiced conflict:
- Reluctance to attend childcare … Such behavior can occur in a child who has got into a new team. This is a natural process, because during this period, a baby or adolescent is adapting to an environment that he did not recognize before. Otherwise, it is imperative to deal with the reasons for the unwillingness to communicate with society.
- Simulation of various diseases … During the summer and during the holidays, children of all ages are offered a range of recreational activities. If a child is called names by individuals, then he will invent a malaise of any kind in order to avoid contact with the offenders.
- Aggression to any criticism … One of the reasons for such an outburst of negativity on loved ones can be the persecution of children outside the walls of their home. In this case, the child closes in on himself, and then instantly boils if the parents make him a remark.
- Lack of friends … If a son or daughter is shy and withdrawn by nature, then they may strive for loneliness. In a different situation, one should be concerned that the beloved child shuns his peers.
- Bruises and abrasions … In this case, it is worth sounding the alarm, because the conflict in the children's team has reached its climax. It's realistic to believe your own offspring only once that he stumbled and hurt himself badly at the same time. If the case became systematic, then the name-calling of the little victim turned into physical violence towards her.
Attention! It is important not to miss the moment when the situation is completely out of control. When asked what to do if a child is called names, you just need to turn from an outside observer into an active participant in the unfolding actions.
What should parents do if their child is called names?
Helping your children get rid of the ridicule of little provocateurs is possible only if you take into account the age of your son or daughter. It is one thing to eliminate conflict among toddlers, and quite another to try to sort out differences between older children.
Solving the problem of humiliating a child in kindergarten
The voiced clash between the warring parties during this period of personality maturation is complicated by the fact that they spend almost the whole day away from their parents. The child is called names in the kindergarten, what to do is one of the main questions with which the older generation of the family turns to specialists. Psychologists reassure dads and moms, explaining to them that parents can influence adverse events as follows:
- Conversation with the teacher … At the same time, you should not be ashamed to contact a teacher. First, he will understand that the fate of his little ward is not indifferent to his parents. Secondly, during such confidential conversations, dad and mom will be aware of all the problems that occur with their child.
- A playful approach to solving the problem … At this age, children are most revealed during such a joint pastime with their parents. Relaxing and getting into the excitement of any game, they are able to tell dads and moms about their problems in the garden. You can invite them to voice their favorite toy with their own name, and designate the object that scares or annoys them as their real offender.
- Magic word game … Even toddlers need to start teaching them to be aware of their own dignity. In the same playful way, they should show an example of how best to respond to a child who calls them names. During this period, kind words in response to the mockery quite often put a blockade between the instigator of the scandal and the potential victim.
- Maximum moral support … The inner world of a young child is so vulnerable that in many cases it can be destroyed to the ground without wise advice and parental approval. At the very first signals that a child is being called names in kindergarten, it is necessary to show him how dear he is to his own family.
- Permission to borrow interesting things … Many parents forbid taking expensive toys with them to kindergarten. In part, they are right in their decision, because such presents are obtained with hard work. However, from time to time, you should entrust your little one with taking any popular children's magazines, coloring books, dolls or constructors to their peers for consideration.
- Conversations about the inadmissibility of violence … Some dads and mothers are sure that it is simply pointless to instill the foundations of universal morality in preschool children. Psychologists say that such a delusion can be costly in the future for would-be educators. At best, they give their offspring recommendations such as "give him back" or "insult him even more offensively." You must always be able to stand up for yourself, but only with the help of fists to deal with those who call names is an unforgivable behavior.
- Translation of a nickname as a joke … A sense of humor as a protective shield must be developed from an early age. No one will touch a person who knows how to laugh at himself. Such a recommendation is quite difficult to implement, but if you want to help your child, you need to apply all your pedagogical wisdom. On Leshka (Antoshka) -potato, you can answer the kid that he is chips, and most people love them.
- Themed animated films … Children will not understand serious films, but they are quite capable of comprehending entertaining animations. In this case, psychologists recommend organizing a joint viewing of the cartoon "Scarecrow-Myauchelo", where a cheerful kitten has become a victim of ridicule and name-calling.
At this age, it is quite easy to resolve the voiced conflict. However, if ignored by adults, they will have to face the question of what to do if the child is called names at school. In this case, playful methods cannot be dispensed with, so you should not be so negligent in raising your children.
Methods for dealing with child abuse at school
In the process of growing up your offspring, you need to more carefully monitor its behavior. In order to avoid being bullied by his peers, it is recommended that wise dads and mothers behave as follows:
- Constant contact with the class teacher … In this case, we are talking not only about control over your own child, but also about the ability to monitor his environment. It is the teacher who is responsible for the class who is always aware of all the affairs that are happening in the children's team.
- Communication with a school psychologist and social worker … After talking with the class teacher, you need to talk to the voiced specialists. If there is a real problem, they will diagnose their ward and give recommendations to the teacher on how to improve the microclimate in the children's team.
- Building a sense of self-confidence … A child who initially feels like an outcast will never become a full member of the children's collective. It is the parents who will be able to return self-confidence to their beloved child by reasonably encouraging his desires.
- Coordination of all actions with the child … When solving the voiced problem, psychologists recommend that you unambiguously devote the injured party to your plans. If this advice is not followed, you can not only aggravate the conflict situation that has arisen, but also permanently lose the trust of your child.
- Leadership Conversation … If we are talking about the fact that the offspring himself caused a negative reaction from the children's collective, then it is necessary to act extremely delicately. It should be explained to an oversized child that not everything in this life is given just like that. At the same time, the main thing is to tell your offspring that the one who was able to remain silent in time wins in the end.
- Teaching the child the same type of answers … Provocateurs quite often can be really stopped with the help of formulaic phrases. At first, the offenders will parry in response to barbs from the chosen victim. However, over time, they will get tired of their provocations to hear phrases like “you know best”, “I'll think about it tomorrow” or “come on?”.
- The development of irony in a child … Learning to laugh at yourself is the first step to solving the problem of name-calling children. Parents themselves must learn the basics of letting go of jokes without offending their opponent. The child must be taught to be ironic in response to outright insults. For teenage girls in the body, phrases like "a man is not a dog, he does not throw himself on the bones" are suitable. When mocking the surname or first name of children with obvious achievements, you should be reminded that whatever you call the yacht, so it will float.
- Attraction to fashionable pursuits … Very often, the attention of classmates is attracted by those children who are creative personalities. In this case, even non-standard teenagers in the team become popular persons. An example of such a transformation can be the film "The Joke", where the young Dmitry Kharatyan once starred, who became a member of a musical group in this production.
- Involvement in sports … Firstly, in the future there will be few people willing to call a classmate who attends the same boxing or karate. Secondly, after such training, the child himself will feel more confident not only physically, but also mentally.
- Personal hygiene talk … Sometimes the parents themselves are to blame for the fact that their child is being bullied at school. From an early age, it is necessary to inspire him that they are greeted not only by their clothes. Dad and mom can buy super-expensive things for their child, but at the same time he will look sloppy.
- Scoring the right examples … If the child has complexes that peers make fun of, you should tell him about the history of famous people. Famous bespectacled people - Bill Gates, Johnny Depp and Justin Timberlake. The short ones in the form of Danny de Vito and Peter Dinklage are considered gorgeous. Such a list can be continued endlessly, but the main thing at the same time is to convey the essence that famous personalities also once successfully overcame their complexes.
- Applying trick … Even if in a similar situation the parents did not have any problems in the past in bullying them, it is necessary to turn into professional actors for a while. Psychologists recommend telling your offspring a story about how their older generation once successfully avoided name-calling.
- Help in choosing friends … In this case, the realization of folk wisdom that in most cases the worm sharpens the apple is very suitable. Sometimes it is the imaginary friends who then provoke the organization of persecution against the person they dislike. They need to be calculated and then blocked access to your child.
- Organization of child communication outside of school … A fairly effective way is to invite classmates to the house for joint leisure activities. You can organize watching films that are interesting specifically for children of this age. In this case, any leisure will be beneficial, because the conflicting parties in advance will definitely make peace.
How to behave for teachers if they call a child name
In many cases, it is those who sow what is reasonable, good and eternal who should think about the behavior of their wards. At the same time, teachers are advised to adhere to the following rules in order to stop bullying the victim chosen by the team:
- Joint work with the administration … People used to say that one head is good, but two are better. Exclusively in tandem with leadership will help stop bullying a particular child. It is by no means possible to keep silent about such a problem in the children's team, because it can end very badly.
- A clear distinction between victim and stalker … A gross pedagogical mistake will be the so-called "leveling" in children's conflict. If a child is called names and at the same time he was reprimanded by the educator (teacher) along with the provocateur, then he can lose confidence in people for many years.
- Themed class hours … In order to prevent conflicts in the children's collective, it is necessary to explain to the wards the norms by which a civilized society should live. In this case, the topics "Language is my enemy", "You can hit with a word" and "Try the situation on yourself" are suitable.
- Competent distribution of responsibilities … Quite often, a joint cause helps to reconcile the abuser and his victim. At the same time, it is worth assessing the capabilities of the child who is being called names, and suggesting that he do something in which he can show himself from the advantageous side. Having risen in the eyes of peers and thus gaining authority, the victim can become a leader in the children's team.
- Organization of KTD (collective creative work) … Hiking trips, trips to historical places, KVN organization help to unite children. The same bespectacled man will explain things incomprehensible to his peers, and Lopouhiy will make the audience laugh to tears with his performance at some significant competition for the children's team.
- "Parent's school" … Educators need to systematically educate dads and moms on how to behave with their children. To do this, it is necessary to arrange general meetings, lectures, debates and open days.
Common mistakes when teasing a child
Every dad and mom tries to protect their children as much as possible. At the same time, such zeal quite often brings a completely opposite result. In order not to aggravate the fact that the child has been bullied, parents should avoid the following mistakes in their zeal to restore justice on their own:
- Personal reprisals against offenders … It is worth remembering right away that we are talking, though about bully-provocateurs, but still about children. An adult who deals with a juvenile bully on an equal footing does not deserve respect. In addition, such actions quite often end in tears precisely for the parents who decided to commit lynching.
- Suggestion of false concepts … Doris Brett, a world-famous Australian psychologist, authoritatively states that in no case should a child be taught to fight back the offender with the help of physical strength. Exceptionally in extreme situations, you can stand up for yourself, if you cannot do without violence.
- Verbal blackmail of the parents of the offenders … Some dads and moms, rolling up their sleeves, bravely rush to protect their child in the most unreasonable way. First of all, they seek to meet with the parents of the child who calls them names, and declare a vendetta to them. Psychologists consider this behavior to be wrong, because the older generation will join the warring younger generation.
- Moral “finishing off” the victim of persecution … This anti-pedagogical process especially concerns dads whose children are called names by their peers. They are violently indignant about this and call their child a slobber and slobber who is not able to give a worthy rebuff to the offenders.
- Complaint to the teaching staff … For some parents, when a problem arises, in the end, it is the school that is to blame. Their child is called names, how to react, what to do - they do not know. Consequently, the teachers were overlooked and it is necessary to find justice for them in the highest instances. Parents are primarily responsible for children, and the school is not a safe for storage, where they donate their beloved children.
- Transfer to another kindergarten (school) … This warning can be interpreted in different ways. In some cases, a child prodigy who is bullied by children should be transferred to a college or high school. In a new environment, he will not look like a black sheep and will quickly find friends for himself. However, quite often the sum does not change from the permutation of the terms.
Important! Parents should be as tactful as possible when their child is called names by other children. Breaking is easier than building, so you need to learn to restrain yourself even in such a tense environment. What to do if a child is called names - watch the video:
The child is called names, how to react - a question that requires immediate adult intervention. Otherwise, the situation may reach such proportions as in the movie "Scarecrow", where the main role was played by the young Christina Orbakaite. The bullying by the children's collective of the chosen victim is not at all a harmless joke. In especially severe cases, due to inaction of adults, their child can be seriously affected both mentally and physically.
