The child is harmful and the reasons for this behavior of children. Fighting the systematic whims of the younger generation through the joint efforts of parents, teachers and psychologists. A child is harmful - this is a situation that can be both an episodic case and an established norm in the family. Unambiguously, such behavior of a small aggressor and manipulator should be suppressed so that in the future he does not grow into a real dictator.
Causes of harm in a child
Bad behavior in children does not arise out of the blue and without apparent negative motivation. The origins of the protracted whims of the obstinate should be sought in the following factors:
- Copying adult behavior … If one of the parents allows himself to put an ultimatum at the slightest refusal in his desires, then the child will consider such a method to achieve his goal the norm. Even at a very young age, he will understand that it is possible, with the help of whims and hysterics, to get a toy he likes or a treat that is unhealthy.
- Parents' dictate … With constant prohibitions, children may have a tendency to resist pressure from adults. The child is not able to resist dictators either materially or physically. In his arsenal, only psychological methods remain, which consist precisely in harm.
- Wrong explanation of the hazard … Parents are always afraid for their child (the exception is an asocial family). Trying to protect a son or daughter from the outside world, they sometimes make a gross pedagogical mistake. It seems to children that they are being deprived of their personal freedom, and begin to be harmful for any reason.
- Indifference of loved ones … In this case, the child's whims are a manifestation of protest against such an attitude towards him on the part of the parents.
- The spirit of contradiction … By itself, a child may initially have a nasty character. In this case, it can be extremely difficult to change his behavior, but under the supervision of an experienced specialist, it is quite possible to get rid of the harmfulness of the offspring.
- The influence of the older generation … Caring grandparents sometimes try to do everything as best as possible, but in the end they ruin their grandson or granddaughter. After visiting compassionate relatives, parents often do not recognize their child. The child begins to be mischievous and throw tantrums if something is not allowed for him.
In almost all the situations sounded, it is the parents who are to blame for the whims of the children. Adults are quite capable of correcting their baby's behavior. Even the negative energy of a rebellious teenager can be directed in the right direction. It should be remembered that it is never too late to start raising your offspring.
The main manifestations of harm in a child
Parental love for their own children is often blind and deaf. However, dads and moms should be wary if their children regularly behave as follows:
- Ignoring any adult request … At the same time, it can be expressed both in the form of demonstrative silence, and through rolling hysteria. Even with an innocent request from his parents to approach them, the stubborn man begins to run away in the opposite direction, after which he has to be caught.
- Intentional sabotage … Spiteful of adults, a little rebel may deliberately break their toys and spoil things in the house. Sometimes it's just a way to reach out to your parents and get attention.
- Regular repetition of the words "I do not want" and "I will not" … They are used both to the point and for a completely incomprehensible reason for adults. A stubborn person may even refuse a favorite treat, because he has made a decision for himself to harm.
The voiced behavior of a child can infuriate even a person with iron nerves. It is especially difficult to take will in a fist, when at the same time the baby begins to actively attract public attention, scream hysterically and even roll on the ground.
How to deal with harm in a child
First of all, parents need to calm down and pull themselves together. There is not a single excuse for those dads and mothers who severely punish their wicked children. It is quite easy to break the fragile world of a small person, and sometimes even experienced specialists cannot restore it.
Recommendations for the parents of a harmful child
In no case should you be led by children with such behavior. However, when you go too far, there is a real danger of losing the trust of your offspring forever. Exceptionally moderately radical methods will make it possible to deal with the question of how to wean a child from being harmful.
With a firm decision to begin the reeducation of the obstinate, it is necessary to take the following methods of parental influence on him:
- Correct regulation of penalties … The punishment must be reasonable, just and without the use of physical force. Experts recommend giving two consents to one categorical “no” at any request of the child. Usually, harm develops from the age of 3, therefore, the baby's requests will rather be a test of the patience of mom and dad for strength, than a conscious desire to take them out of the state of mental equilibrium.
- Demonstrating your own example … Children are a reflection of their parents. Therefore, it is necessary to show them the correct model of behavior in society. It is recommended that a capricious child over and over again convey information that mutual respect and a calm atmosphere reign in his family, which does not imply harm to either children or adults.
- Translation of a whim into a joke … This is quite difficult to do, because little stubborn people are often fixated on the desire to do the opposite. It is necessary to be patient and with the help of humor available to the child to distract his attention, thus preventing the brewing conflict.
- Finding a common activity … With this desire, it should be remembered that the child is constantly mischievous due to the fact that he is elementarily bored. At a young age, children do not understand that their parents are constantly busy because of their daily bread. You should postpone all your affairs for a while and pay attention to the child. Many toddlers and older children love to draw, sculpt, assemble a constructor. When organizing this joint lesson, a mutual understanding will be established between the older and younger generations, which will eradicate the harmfulness of the child.
- Involvement in household chores … First, the little helper will have a sense of his own worth and an awareness of a certain adulthood. Secondly, the fulfillment of certain responsibilities at home is the main component of labor education of the younger generation. However, you need to remember about the age of your son or daughter. A 3-year-old should be encouraged to take the dishes to the sink after each meal. A 5-6 year old child can already put away his toys, dust off shelves, feed a pet and water flowers. Older children are quite able to sweep in the apartment (initially under the guidance of adults) and wash the dishes after themselves.
- Encouraging initiative … At any age, good deeds should be rewarded according to merit. It is important for a child to know that his help for adults is very important and necessary. If he feels like a full member of the family, he will stop harassing his parents with tantrums and whims.
- Organization of family watching cartoons … In this case, it is recommended to familiarize the kid with the behavior of Dyudyuki the dirty trick from "The Elephant's Birthday". It will also be instructive to watch the cartoon humorous film "The Princess and the Cannibal" with an explanation of two models of behavior of a positive girl and a mischievous hooligan.
- Reading literature on pedagogy … It is never too late to learn, which should be kept in mind by all parents. For self-education, the books by Marina Aromshtam "How to solve the problems of upbringing without losing self-control", Lyudmila Petranovskaya "If it is difficult with a child", Olga Makhovskoy "100 mistakes of upbringing that are easy to avoid" and Svetlana Dorosheva "How to cope with a child. A guide in 22 episodes and illustrations."
- Ending quarrels between spouses … You should not expect ideal behavior and obedience to parents from your offspring if they constantly sort things out among themselves in front of the children. A child develops psychosis due to such a family situation, after which he begins to be mischievous and throw tantrums.
- Collective drafting of a taboo system … There should not be many points in it, but the most important aspects for the family must be included in them. Then the child is told the law according to which from now on he and his parents will live.
All of the listed recommendations for parents are easy to follow. You just need to pay more attention to your children and monitor your own behavior.
Tips for educators on how to behave with a harmful child
In most cases, whims are characteristic of toddlers or children of primary school age. In a teenage child, with hormonal changes in the body, a kind of protest against the adult world arises. Such aggression is a slightly different behavioral deviation in comparison with the described harm.
Kindergarten teachers and primary school teachers should behave as follows in relation to such wards:
- Maximum correctness … In no case should the harm be compared with peers in a negative way for her. A situation may happen that the example was set exactly the child with whom the problem child is in confrontation. By such actions, the conflict will be further aggravated, and the rebel will do everything in spite of adults.
- Distraction … Wise teachers always know what to do if a child is mischievous. A bright toy, an offer to read a fairy tale, watch a cartoon or draw together will help to interest the little stubborn person for a while. The main thing is to know his preferences so that it is difficult for him to give up the tempting prospect of having a great time in a child care center.
- Method "Order" … Not only in the family, the little rascal should have its own responsibilities. The teacher needs to clearly voice the obstinate that the group (class) really lacks the help of this particular capricious child. A sense of self-worth will push the stubborn person to enthusiastically take up the proposed business. Over time, he will get used to fulfilling the requests of adults and will cease to be mischievous.
- Family work … An exclusively tandem of a teacher and the parents of a capricious prankster who loves to do everything in spite of everything, will help solve the problem. To begin with, the professional conducts a survey of adults, visits the family at home and, with the help of a social worker, draws up a correctional plan for working with a harmful child.
Some parents are reluctant to notice obvious problems in their children. Therefore, it is the teachers who must be the first to sound the alarm so that an outright hysterical and emotional blackmailer does not grow out of their ward in the future.
Help of psychologists in correcting the child's behavior
In some situations, the conflict between parents and their child goes so far that the problem cannot be solved without the help of a specialist. Usually, in this situation, the following therapy is carried out under the guidance of a coordinator:
- Psychodiagnostics … After the first acquaintance with the little patient, the specialist calculates the temperament of the child with the help of conversation and questionnaires. During such a study, the diagnosis of the causes of harm in the child is also carried out.
- Group lessons (fairy tale therapy) … During these small trainings, the specialist can offer children a brainstorming discussion of literature on a suitable topic. In this case, the analysis of S. Marshak's fairy tale "The Stupid Mouse" is often used.
- Play technique … This method of correcting child harm implies performing, together with a psychologist, the exercises "Is it right or not?" After these manipulations, little patients are invited to take part in "Psychodrama on the Table", the main characters of which are a specialist and toys.
- Art therapy … This technique allows problem children to calm down and concentrate during an interesting lesson. When the emotional stress is removed, the harm will become less hysterical and torture with the aggressive behavior of the parents. Sand therapy also has a similar effect, during which children show the specialist their inner problems.
How to wean a child from being mischievous - watch the video:
When the question arises of why a child is harmful, it should be remembered that such an attitude towards others is a deviation from the norms of behavior. However, you should not confuse him with a slight whim or a desire to defend your position. A small person only cognizes this world, and in some cases it is difficult for her to control her own emotions. She also fails to adequately compare the opportunities available in the family with the desires that have arisen in her. Exceptionally wise behavior of parents and educators will help the harmful change for the better.
