Who is an imaginary friend, the reasons and signs of such a mental state in children and adults, how should you treat this, is it worth getting rid of your imaginary friend. An imaginary friend is a mythical, illusory double, an inner counterpart of the person who invented him, an advisor in all personal matters, he is trusted with their most secret, intimate thoughts. The antipode in character and judgment, often in difficult life situations, helps his real friend choose the right decision.
What is an imaginary friend?
The desire to be friends is characteristic of all age groups, regardless of gender. Both men and women want to have a close soul mate. Unfortunately, in real life, there is not always a faithful companion with whom you can talk frankly. And sometimes you so want to entrust your thoughts and thoughts to him.
The problem of an imaginary friend was known in antiquity. Sorcerers with drugs and conspiracies could summon various spirits and genies. People believed that with the help of such imaginary friends, they would be able to solve their pressing problems.
Different peoples worshiped domestic gods - a kind of family friends. For example, among the Slavs in pagan times, Chur was considered the patron saint of family estates. He was asked for intercession to protect the house and loved ones from the evil eye. The expression has come down to our days: "Chur me!", That is, "Take care of me, God, from evil forces!".
The desire to have an imaginary friend in Tibetan Buddhism was transformed into such a thing as tulpa, when an effort of will could cause a strong hallucination. In the sensations of the person who caused her, she became quite tangible (it could not always be a person), he could be trusted and had frank conversations with him. In ancient Rome, such a conceivable friend was called Alter ego - “another me”.
Agatha Christie wrote dozens of detective stories, and in her old age she admitted that she had been communicating with imaginary friends all her life. She didn't lose her mind from this, but it helped her work a lot.
Reasons for the appearance of an imaginary friend
So who is considered an imaginary friend these days, why is he needed and is communication with him harmful? Before answering these questions, let's find out the reasons for its appearance.
Why does an imaginary friend appear in children
Who is not familiar with the Kid and his friend Carlson since childhood? The story of the Swedish writer Astrid Lindgren about the touching friendship of a boy and a funny fat man living in a house somewhere far away on the roof appeared, I think, for a reason. As well as the Soviet fairy tale of the writer L. Lagin "The Old Man Hottabych". The gin released from the bottle became a real friend of the pioneer Volka and helped him in various funny situations, which he himself created, and then helped to solve successfully.
What do these two tales have in common? They are nothing more than a talentedly narrated need for imaginary friends in children.
The desire to "get" an imaginary stranger as a friend lies in the peculiarities of the baby's psyche. It is estimated that 65% of children between the ages of 3 and 7 have an imaginary boyfriend. Psychologists do not see anything bad in this so-called Carlson syndrome. Such children are spiritually rich, they have great creative inclinations. Talented guys, in a word! An imaginary friend helps them develop intelligence, which will certainly come in handy in later life.
However, such a virtual companion does not always appear in a child's life at his bizarre whim. The reasons for children's fantasies are different and not always good, among them are the following:
- Lacks parental attention … Parents are constantly busy, do not pay attention to their child, loneliness makes him look for a friend in fantasies.
- Parenting mistakes … Attention is paid to the child, but communication is reduced to a minimum, the child wants to read a fairy tale at night, and in response: "And you will fall asleep without it!"
- Boring childhood … There are few children's games and fun, everything is put on a rational basis: you do not need this (because it is expensive), the parents do not send the child to any circle where he is drawn, there is no time to take him to sports and other sections. The child languishes with boredom and comes up with friends and bright adventures.
- No peer contact … The child is reserved, cannot find a common language with other children, for example, in a kindergarten. Inevitably, he withdraws into himself and communicates with a fictional friend in his fantasies.
All these reasons do not at all indicate that the child has mental problems, but there is a fear that he may go into an unreal world. And in our time, when the computer in many families has replaced the book and live communication, it is not at all difficult to get confused in your own imagination and virtual friends. But there are also positive qualities of an imaginary friend, why children need him so much.
These include:
- The imaginary friend is brave and always ready for adventure … He is a loyal companion, he will help out in any situation, with him you can safely embark on any risky journey, for example, go into the impenetrable jungle or go down on a bathyscaphe deep to the bottom of the ocean.
- Helps develop intelligence … Communicating with such a friend, the child becomes developed, he has vivid creative abilities. It is highly likely that over time, the baby can become a bright creative person.
It's important to know! An imaginary friend in children is not a disease. However, so that the invented friend does not become dominant in the child's life, parents should pay more attention to their child.
Reasons for the appearance of an imaginary friend in adolescents
An imaginary friend among adolescents is a widespread phenomenon these days and is primarily associated with infantilism. A guy or a girl seems to be difficult to call a child, and the behavior retains childish traits. From a medical point of view, this is a developmental lag. Such young people are "inhibited" in communication, it is very difficult for them to find a friend or girlfriend. The lack of communication forces people to leave for the virtual world, which is not a problem today.
Computers and tablets are now available to almost everyone. For fans of virtual communication, even special computer programs have appeared. For example, The Sims 3's All Ages add-on allows you to make an imaginary friend.
In China and neighboring countries, young men became fascinated with anime-style drawings of imaginary girlfriends in their photographs. The hobby has become fashionable, with their invented partners, guys go to cafes, play football, travel.
The reasons for such a success of imaginary friends in adolescents lie in character traits and are far from the best, for example, a person is withdrawn and insecure. Our age of total computerization only indulges such weak personality traits.
Medical reasons why teenagers make imaginary friends include:
- Autistic disorders … Actually, this is a mild mental illness, when there is no ability to maintain social connections. Such a person is closed on his own experiences, communication with others causes her difficulties.
- Infantilism … A teenager thinks and acts like a child, and therefore is simply afraid of decisive adult actions. It is hard for him to find a real friend for communication.
- Serious illness … A child, for example, is bedridden for a long time. The social circle with peers is kept to a minimum. An imaginary friend comes to the rescue.
- Psychological trauma … Divorce or death of one of the parents, change of place of residence, conflicts with loved ones can force you to look for a virtual friend.
There are a number of very different reasons why adolescents who are normal in their development have a virtual friend. It turns out that he has many advantages:
- Knows how to listen … He has an agreeable character, always listens to his friend with attention.
- Will not reveal secrets … You can safely trust him, he will never tell anyone anything, even if he shared with him an intimate detail of his life.
- Attractive appearance … If a girl made herself an imaginary friend, so only a beautiful one!
- Will never change … It will always be with you in trouble and joy, until you give it up yourself.
- Not angry … He will not enter into a quarrel or fight with you, on the contrary, he will always support you in a difficult situation.
- It's easy to communicate with him … From a psychological and financial point of view. You do not need to persuade for a long time, for example, to go to a cafe, and there is no need to spend money on it.
- Not annoying … Appears only when you want. And leaves at your request.
- He is lonely … He has no one but you, and therefore it is easy to communicate with him.
From this we can conclude that a virtual friend (girlfriend) is needed by young people with a vulnerable psyche, who have problems with communication. However, such friends are not a substitute for real living friendships. Leaving for the surreal world, where everything is shaky, blurry and far-fetched, will not make a teenager happy.
It is important to understand! Real happiness can only be found in real communication with real friends.
Why an imaginary friend happens to adults
Imaginary adult friends are not uncommon. Many have probably noticed that a man is walking down the street and talking to himself. Someone may think this is strange, they say, crazy. But not all of them have mental disabilities. It's just that a man is talking to his good acquaintance - a virtual friend. With age, most people give up virtual friendships and find real friends. However, not everyone is in a hurry to part with their childhood fantasies.
The reasons why they remain in the soul of adults can be very diverse:
- Prolonged Carlson Syndrome … It is inherent in the so-called kidalts (English term) - "adult children". Such men and women can be quite successful in life, but the illusions of an early age continue to warm the soul. They are in no hurry to part with imaginary friends, such a friend can replace the family, therefore they often remain lonely.
- Closed nature … He did not know how to communicate with peers in childhood and adolescence, so he remained in adulthood. The character that has developed in adolescence is almost difficult to change, and there are times when a close friend so wants to pour out his soul.
- Depression … When a bad mood prevails for a long time, the social circle is limited, a person communicates with his Alter ego - “another self”. This is his real friend.
- Defenselessness … The feeling of helplessness in the face of external circumstances - the world is cruel! - makes you seek the support of the strong. This is psychologically understandable; many foreign and domestic films are devoted to this phenomenon. After all, not everyone feels like Rimbaud, therefore, for self-defense, they find a superhero in an imaginary friend.
- I would like to speak out … Even a sociable person sometimes needs the need to talk at length, and friends have no time to listen to everything, moreover, if the topic is intimate, scrupulous, even close people are not interlocutors. Your problem can be spread on a "secret to the whole world." And the imaginary friend is reliable, he is only yours!
- If a person is a believer … Such people pray and talk with God, with their guardian angel. They consider the saints real, trust them with their everyday concerns, ask them for advice and help.
Is self-talk with imaginary friends a mental disorder? Not at all, but in each specific case you need to figure out why a person needs this. It is likely that this is simply an inability to find your real friend in real life, or perhaps a mental disorder up to a serious mental illness.
It's important to know! If a person walks down the street and talks to himself, this does not mean at all that he is unwell. He just lacks real communication.
The main signs of having an imaginary friend
Many hide their intimate, fictional colleague, but there are quite definite signs by which one can determine who is friends with a virtual person. The signs of the presence of an imaginary friend should include the features that lie in the worldview of the individual, and personal qualities associated with character.
The worldview includes:
- faith … Regardless of what a person professes, it can be Buddhism, Islam or Christianity, as well as numerous offshoots of these religions. All of them imply spiritual communication with higher otherworldly forces, in fact - with imaginary friends.
- Occult practice … Teaching opposite to faith. The world is endless, some believe that there is another mind outside of the cognized, and they try to contact with it.
Signs of a personal property include:
- Loneliness … Indicative for mature age. A lonely person needs a friend, often finds him in an illusory world. A young man can find a virtual girlfriend, a man - a wife, a woman - an imaginary lover or husband.
- Lonely conversation … A completely normal, successful person in life talks to himself. So it seems to others. In fact, he communicates with an imaginary person created by him - his inner counterpart.
- Stressful, depressive situation … When negative emotions eat away at the soul, and there is no social circle, an invented friend comes to the rescue.
- Computer hobby … For some young people and even adults, the virtual world of computer games replaces real communication. Here they communicate with superheroes and consider themselves the same. It gives strength and confidence.
It is important to understand! All signs of having an imaginary friend are not mental illness.
Ways to Get Rid of an Imaginary Friend
When friendship with a virtual friend grew into a painful, painful state, communication with him ceased to bring the previously so desired pleasure, an imaginary friend becomes a disease. It is already necessary to take urgent measures.
To get rid of an imaginary friend when companionship with your “other self” becomes unbearable, you need to:
- Overestimate your position in life … If you can still control your emotions, you need to try to get rid of the "uncomfortable" friend yourself. It is important to rethink your ideals, change your behavior, and face the real world in order to find the support of true friends.
- Seek help from a psychologist … If a person is not able to get rid of his imaginary friend, the help of a specialist is needed. He will prescribe a course of psychotherapeutic assistance, it can be sessions of hypnosis, cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy or gestalt therapy. Treatment will help to get rid of complexes, for example, uncertainty and suspiciousness, and return to normal life without imaginary interlocutors and heroes.
- Get rid of loneliness … Tips here can be different. Someone just needs to get married (get married), and someone will find the joy of communicating with our smaller friends, for example, a cat or a dog. The famous Russian writer Ivan Bunin in his poem "Loneliness" dreamily said: "It would be nice to buy a dog."
- Engage in creativity, sports … Only in real communication, among enthusiastic people, you can get not far-fetched, but real friends.
- Find any business you like … A worthwhile occupation, for example, fishing, will help you forget the world of illusions and restore a healthy attitude.
- You need to build relationships with your loved ones … The family is a real support in life, and if the relationship was ruined, they should be improved. In this world, no one needs you, except your loved ones. All imaginary, imaginary friends are lies and self-deception.
Important! It is possible and necessary to get rid of an impolite imaginary friend, for this it is necessary to exert maximum effort and effort. How to get rid of an imaginary friend - watch the video:
An imaginary friend is a special state of mind. Whether it is harmful to health cannot be said directly. First of all, you need to figure out the one who has such an acquaintance - the best and closest. Sometimes virtual friends can cause illness, then the help of a psychotherapist is needed. And so communicate with your unreal friend, if friendship with him is a pleasure. And do not hesitate to talk while walking down the street. It's not your concern when someone pays attention. This is the problem of someone who looks at you with a grin.
