Why do we wear masks in life and what we hide under them. What kind of psychological masks do people cover up their real faces most often. How to rip the "mask" from the interlocutor. Masks in people's lives are one of the ways to disguise themselves among their own kind. They can hide our problems, make the necessary impression and hide the true self. Thus, human masks have many functions, as well as the reasons why people wear them.
Why do people wear masks
In fact, most of us constantly live "in the role", without removing the mask, even at home. In this case, only one mask is not necessarily used - it often changes depending on the place of application (work, home, company of friends, etc.) and circumstances. But they all have one thing in common - they are worn for a reason. The main reasons for living under the mask:
- Circumstances … For many people, masks in life help "fit" into the habitat or conform to it. For example, at work, a person tries on the mask of a strict boss or an executive and disciplined employee, which gives him every chance for success in this field. At home, the mask of a wonderful worker is replaced by the mask of a loving wife and mother or a caring husband and father. Here she is the key to home comfort and warmth. Likewise, both adults and children often use this technique to get what they want.
- Critical situations … It is not so rare that you have to try on the role of a strong and unshakable person when troubles happen or unforeseen situations intervene in the course of business. That is, as they say, you have to wear a good face in a bad game. She helps to hide her feelings from others, to go through grief myself and to support those who need help and faith.
- Overcoming fears … There are people who use masks to hide their psychological complexes and fears.
- Social priorities … The priorities imposed by the environment - parents, friends, colleagues, the mass media and social networks - can also make you pretend to be someone else. It may be a mask of the leader, excellent, worker, painks, "nyashki" and, on the contrary, dug, Protestant, Pofigista and lifespan.
- Desire to please … Another reason why people wear masks. In this case, flaws are hidden under the mask, and merits are paraded. And not always true. That is, here the disguise acts as a decoy - during meeting, hiring, in a new team or a new company, etc.
- Striving to be better than it really is … Despite the fact that the modern world breaks stereotypes, good breeding, humanity, decency and sympathy are still welcomed in society. Therefore, if most of us do not possess such qualities (by nature or by virtue of upbringing), then we try to show that he has them with the help of an appropriate mask.
Important! Whatever the reason for putting on a psychological mask, it, like a masquerade one, hides the true face of its wearer. This makes it difficult to see the essence of a person not only to those around him, but also to himself.
Varieties of masks in people's lives
Since our life is an uninterrupted stream of changes and changes, we are forced to adapt to it in every possible way. Including with the help of psychological masks. Therefore, almost every person has their own set of masks for a particular situation. Most of them have a lot in common, so they can be roughly divided into several types.
Basic masks in people's lives
The basic or basic psychological masks are masks with a depth base. Often a person has one, and more superficial and diverse images are already superimposed on it.
These basic human masks include:
- Basic psychological trauma mask … Such a mask is formed as a result of a severe psychotrauma suffered once: loss of a loved one, violence of a physical or psychological nature, humiliation, loss of status, rejection, collapse of ideals, catastrophe or accident. Such a shock affects not only the human soul, but also the body - it forms certain "clamps" and restrictions, including on the face. They stay with us for the rest of our lives - new emotional expressions only correct the main mask, but do not completely cover it. It is noteworthy that we ourselves may not notice such changes in the expression of our face, despite the fact that others will clearly see them. Hence, such visual inconsistencies appear, such as a strict boss with the face of an offended child or a cheerful laugh with sad eyes. A characteristic feature of such traumatic masks is that they reflect not only the experiences we experienced at the time of the trauma, but also the age when it happened. Therefore, people who endured a stressful situation in childhood retain their children's facial features until old age.
- The mask of the basic attitude towards life … Unlike the psychotrauma mask, it is formed gradually, throughout life. It is based on our basic concepts of life and our role in it, our way of thinking and acting, our expectations from ourselves and others. With age and taking into account the accumulated experience, some priorities may change, but the basic life principles still remain unbreakable. So the mask of the basic attitude to life in the process of life itself can be modified, acquiring new impressions and emotions, but its basis remains unchanged. Therefore, optimists will try to "save face" in any situation, pessimists will not be able to hide their sadness even under the most convincing mask of joy. In the same way as proud people will not hide their arrogant attitude towards others under the most blissful expression on their faces, while cowards will notice their weakness even under the mask of arrogance.
- Professional masks … Such modifications are the result of professional activity that forces us to play by certain rules - to correspond to the image of a certain profession or position. Thus, new features "grow" so much to our face that they are not removed from it even at home. So, households and relatives of people who clearly entered the image of a military man, doctor, teacher, leader, are very familiar with all the nuances of such a professional deformation. Since this image no longer gives an opportunity to manifest true feelings and relationships.
- Borrowed masks … Such changes in facial features are formed in the process of communicating with people who are significant to us. That is, such masks in people's lives appear as a result of imitation. In childhood, we copy our parents, and in adolescence - idols from TV screens, pages of glossy magazines, and now also from social networks. As we grow up and mature, we continue to imitate and change ourselves, taking as examples the same parents, more successful friends and acquaintances, bosses and employees. Many find an example to follow among media personalities - politicians, businessmen and show business stars.
Important! You can "catch" the mask of success and self-confidence when communicating with successful people, and the mask of a happy marriage - communicating with happy couples. And in this case, imitation will only benefit.
Additional psychological masks
Additional masks appear as a result of new emotions and circumstances that arise over the course of our lives. These masks are layered on the basic psychological mask and carry a different emotional and motivational load.
Such additional or auxiliary psychological life masks include:
- "Good man" … This image is most often used by a person who is very eager to be such. That is, he has “bad” qualities (a tendency to theft, violence, lies, quarrelsomeness, envy, aggressiveness, etc.), which he suppresses by an effort of will. Therefore, he can easily change his role, only he will cease to control himself - alone with himself, when communicating with loved ones or in a critical situation. Such a person is always serious and longs for the recognition of his virtuous mask. He perfectly knows all the socially accepted principles of morality, has good oratorical skills and loves to teach. Therefore, he prefers public activities and professions related to communication, education, religion.
- "Ever unhappy" … This mask is chosen by energetically weak people who prefer a passive perception of the world and the image of a victim. They always have a justification for their failures, and not always real. Constantly feeling sorry for themselves, they indulge their weaknesses and habits, trying to evoke pity and compassion for themselves in others. It is noteworthy that such a position in life helps the "eternally unhappy" to exist quite comfortably at the expense of the compassionate attitude of others. Firstly, they are fueled by energy from the compassionate, and secondly, they can achieve certain selfish goals.
- "Helpless" … The image is in many ways similar to the mask of the "eternally unhappy", only here the prevailing position is "I can't," "I won't succeed," "I can't," "I don't understand," "It's too difficult for me," etc. The purpose of putting on such a mask is to shift your burden (work, responsibility, problem solving) onto someone else's shoulders.
- "Rusk" or "cynic" … Pretending that nothing in this world can touch your heart is a good way to close yourself from reality. It is based on fear and inner fear of the world and everything that happens in it. As a result, a person builds a stone wall of indifference and insensitivity around himself in order to protect himself from the world around him.
- "Sexy" … This image is used by representatives of both sexes, but still more actively exploited by men. At the root of such a mask lies the subconscious need for self-affirmation in front of others and oneself. It often covers the immaturity of its owner, loneliness and dependence on the opinions of others. Such people are very active, sociable and have extensive experience of close communication with the opposite sex. However, victories on the sexual front bring short-term joy, so they are constantly on the lookout for new hobbies.
- "Lord of the world" … The mask of a strong and confident person is often worn by people who need to match their status or leadership position. Often women who have married weak-willed men or children who matured early, forced to take care of themselves or their families from childhood, are forced to wear it.
- "Jonah" … With such a mask go people who, with complaisance and benevolence, cover up their passivity and lack of will. They come to terms with the fact that their weak character did not allow them to achieve something more in life, and are content with what they have. They are sociable, sincere, but constantly feel guilty for their failure, therefore they often become alcoholics.
- "Who pity everyone" … To distinguish such a person from a person who is really experiencing by nature, there are several signs. Firstly, a person in the mask of a pitying person either limits himself only to words, or helps, but only with a selfish purpose. Therefore, he either provides assistance with a backward thought that this will be counted, and someone will help him in a difficult moment, or only helps important and necessary people. Secondly, the “pitying” one is engaged in narcissism, enjoying his “fine” organization of the soul.
- "Veselchak" … Often times, life under the guise of a sociable optimist is exploited by lonely, insecure people. Their fear of being unnecessary, unclaimed makes the "merry fellows" constantly be in society, and ideally - in its center. They make a lot of friends and acquaintances, love noisy parties, often invite guests and go to visit themselves. Even when they are alone, they fill their free time with communication - by phone, on social networks or on Skype. Such hyper-communication helps to avoid the possibility of being alone with yourself, your sad and gloomy thoughts. People with the mask of a "merry fellow" live other people's lives, running away from their own.
- "Gray mouse" … This style of behavior is chosen by closed people with a deep sense of loneliness. They diligently hide their complexes under the image of the "golden mean", preferring to merge with the crowd so as not to stand out either for the better or for the worse. That is, to draw attention to yourself.
- "Fool" or "fool" … Of course, women often “include a fool”, but among the representatives of the stronger sex there are many users of such an image. The purpose of its use is purely mercantile. For example, to avoid punishment or censure, to get help, information or material benefit. The mechanism for obtaining the result is simple - to elevate another person by recognizing oneself as stupid (poor, unhappy, slow, etc.).
- "Knower of Life" … Cynic, skeptic and conservative are mixed in the colors of such a disguise. It is tried on by people who believe that they have seen everything, learned everything and can do everything. They are incredulous, "calculated" and categorical. There is no place for a miracle in their life, and the only correct opinion is their own. The purpose of such a "masquerade" is to exalt oneself and one's significance in the eyes of others.
- "Boyfriend shirt" or "cutie" … Both men and women accept the image of an ingenuous, sociable, benevolent, charming person in order to achieve certain goals (to attract attention, gain confidence, gain benefit).
Any of the above psychological masks is, first of all, a mask that hides true feelings, fears, desires. Therefore, one must remember that she is constantly in opposition to the inner world. The more masks and the longer the wearing time, the deeper the internal imbalance. This only aggravates the problem and can lead to nervous breakdowns or even suicide.
How to remove a mask from a person
To summarize, most masks in people's lives are designed to perform three functions. The first is to hide fears and complexes, the second is to achieve mercantile goals, the third is to assert oneself at the expense of others. Based on this, there are three ways to remove the mask from a person and see his true nature. The main ways to remove the psychological mask from a person:
- Masks that hide deep fears and complexes … The best way to see the true face of a person defending himself from the world is warmth, interest and trust in communication. If you sincerely convince such an "incognito" that you are interested in him with all his "guts" and "cockroaches", his mask will "float" like a wax. But here you need to observe tact and great care: if he suspects at least some catch (insincerity, irony), the mask will become even tougher.
- Masks with a mercantile purpose … People who are trying to look their best or make an impression just to benefit from it can be easily led off to clean water. To do this, simply do not give them what they want - and you will see a transformation. To get what he wants, such a person tries to appear better, making an effort to this. Now, when the need to "strain" has disappeared, he will take off the mask.
- Self-affirmation masks … The most durable psychological masks that can only be removed by specialists or critical incidents that force you to rethink your life. Sometimes a certain life situation helps to reveal the "mask", which can bring out the wearer of the mask so much that he completely loses his composure.
Questions that make the interlocutor remember something pleasant and good can help melt the mask. You can also see your true face if you ask clarifying questions during communication - how, why, because of what. They knock out of the usual way of thinking and make you think. It is at this moment that the mask flies. It breaks off masks and alcohol well.
What are masks in people's lives - look at the video:
[media = https://www.youtube.com/watch? v = 9SmJnULPIOk] In our world full of conventions and stereotypes, it is very difficult to be yourself. Therefore, mask images become a part of our life, helping us to adapt to the environment, integrate into it and even succeed in something. The main thing, while playing in this large-scale performance, is not to lose yourself completely.
