What is self-criticism and how it can manifest itself. Why do people go deeper into self-criticism and how it can end. The most effective ways to turn self-reproach into healthy self-criticism. Whatever the reason for your zealous self-criticism, you need to learn that the situation requires an obligatory correction. Otherwise, the whole life will turn into a process of self-digestion.
Ways to combat self-criticism
The main feature of the Samoyed is obsession with oneself and one's imperfection. This not only destroys it from the inside, resulting in illness and neurotic states, but also makes it not interesting to others. Therefore, the destructive force of self-criticism simply needs to be redirected towards creation. Several methods can be used for this.
Subsequence
One of the most effective ways to stop engaging in self-criticism is to learn how to turn on the mode of self-criticism before the action itself, and not after it. Here you can successfully apply the well-known saying about what is better to do and regret than to regret what you did not do. For example, if you need to do something that is not too pleasant for you (call, conversation, action, decision), use your internal "aggressive" resources in order to set yourself up for action. Then you definitely won't have to criticize yourself for inaction or a missed chance.
Correct emotions
Make it a rule to manage your emotions during bouts of self-flagellation. A strict statement in this case will be much more effective than aggression and insulting oneself with the last words. To do this, you need to master the art of mastering your emotions and constantly improve your emotional intelligence. And remember that severity is an aggressive emotion based on reality and expressed at the right time, as opposed to self-flagellation, which is based on emotions and actions, often far from real events and feelings.
Motivation
Another surefire way to get rid of self-criticism on your own is to learn the correct motivation for self-criticism. Namely, positive emotions after a perfect action must completely cover the negative that preceded it. In other words, if you forced yourself to do something unpleasant or unbearable to you with the help of internal kicks, and you succeeded, then the joy of the result will exceed the anger that prompted you to act. The assimilation of such motivation "the result is worth the cost" will allow each time to put less effort to decide to act.
Correct "speed"
The desire to be in time for everything and at once very often becomes a reason to torment oneself with accusations of incompetence, weak-willedness, ineptitude, awkwardness, indecision, etc. Learn to hurry slowly: set realistic goals and no less realistic deadlines for achieving them. Remember one of the main rules of successful implementation of goals: in order to achieve a great result, it is better to break the process of achieving it into several stages. That is, to reach the goal by making ten small confident steps, and not one risky jump. This simplifies the task psychologically and allows you to make timely adjustments already in the course of action. And at the same time to understand how important the goal is.
Adequate self-perception
To effectively fight self-criticism, you need to deprive it of fertile soil. To do this, try to replace the habit of washing your bones for any reason with the habit of perceiving yourself as you are. You need to accept yourself as a person with all your oddities and individual characteristics that used to be the reasons for starting the process of self-criticism. Now you need to love them and try to turn them into advantages, a strong side of character. It is also equally important to learn to forgive your mistakes and perceive them not as a reason for self-flagellation, but as a personal, and therefore invaluable experience.
Right atmosphere
The less free time you have, the less likely you are to engage in self-criticism. Therefore, try to minimize periods of empty idleness and occupy these "voids" with an interesting occupation or hobby. Not only will this not leave you time for self-criticism, but it will also add positive and enthusiasm to your life. Change your environment by favoring positive, upbeat people. Replace tabloid press, TV watching and social media feeds with life-affirming books and articles. Another option to leave no chance for self-criticism is to do charity work. The latter will make you especially acutely aware of the insignificance of your problem against the background of the problems of other people who, at the same time, continue to live, and the world continues to exist. Creativity changes consciousness no less effectively. You can do painting, music, knitting, dancing, embroidery, sewing - the main thing is that your occupation brings pleasure and positive emotions.
Modeling the situation
The main difference between self-criticism and healthy self-criticism is that it has a beginning, but has no logical end. Therefore, in order to stop an attack of self-criticism in time, train yourself to follow the rule of three questions. To do this, every time you feel a keen desire to engage in self-flagellation, take a sheet of paper, divide it into three equal columns. In the first column, answer the question “What did I do?” That is, write down the event that made you feel guilty. In the second column - to the question “What could I do?”, In other words, model in writing your desired behavior in this situation - your words, gestures, behavior, intonation. In the third - to the question "What can I do tomorrow?" Such analysis will help to realistically assess the scale of your experiences and learn to learn from the situation that happened.
Planning
Self-criticism is characterized by the fact that a person becomes obsessed with the past, that is, with an event that has already happened. Therefore, you need to try to shift the vector of your thoughts and experiences in the opposite direction. Towards the future. Daily planning with evening summing up will help with this. Make it a rule in the morning (or the night before) to draw up a plan of your actions for the day, and in the evening cross out all the completed points and analyze the past day. At the same time, during the day, try to focus on the tasks at hand, often look at the plan you have drawn up and praise yourself for your performance. Focus your attention on what you want, what you like, what you enjoy, and avoid anything that brings inconvenience and discomfort. Over time, the vector of your perception of reality and yourself will confidently shift towards the positive.
How to deal with self-criticism - watch the video:
Introspection should be present in the life of every person, but not in the destructive form of self-criticism. You can learn to correct yourself without reproach and self-humiliation. To do this, you need to love yourself, respect your individuality, be able to realistically assess the situation and stop the critic in yourself in time.
