The article will talk about self-pity and its manifestations, the addiction of excessive introspection, which can lead to a state of deep depression. The advice of psychologists, voiced in the publication, will help eliminate this feeling. Pity is a feeling of compassion, empathy, or condolences from one individual to himself or to another. A happy person who has everything smoothly in life is unlikely to experience it in relation to himself. After all, even pity for others is an emotion that is not inherent in all people. When it comes to empathizing with yourself, the attitude towards the situation changes dramatically. It is necessary to figure out in which cases such a feeling is an adequate reaction of the body, and where it becomes an obvious pathology.
Causes of Self-Pity
Selfishness within reasonable limits is a completely organic phenomenon for any person. Anyone who does not respect and value himself will never become a worthy representative of society in the eyes of society. However, in some cases, a person is overtaken by such an attack as an excessive feeling of self-pity.
The causes of the problem may lie in the following factors:
- Excessive requirements for reality … Life is a complex process that often defies adjustment. In this case, you can often find whiners who simply dissolve in self-pity. All objects in the Galaxy are to blame for their troubles. In this case, the countdown should start from microbes and bacteria that had the audacity to penetrate the whiner's body. Further, claims are made to the faulty Higher Reason, who dared to interfere in the life of the whiner. It is very difficult to communicate with such people, because when talking with them, you can hear a huge amount of negative and unnecessary information.
- Hypochondria … In this case, one immediately remembers Melman the giraffe from the famous animated film Madagascar, who was ill with literally everyone. The suspiciousness of people of this type sometimes turns into a mania of persecution with all sorts of misfortunes. A hypochondriac-man will not find exclusively signs of pregnancy (and that is not a fact!), And a woman with such a character will be calm only about the absence of prostatitis in the body. At the same time, self-pity is so overwhelming that it is time to seek help from a competent psychotherapist.
- Dependence on someone else's opinion … Only a faint-hearted or hypocritical person can deny the obvious fact that society is sometimes extremely cruel towards some subjects. Another question is how the victim of condemnation relates to such a fact. There are shocking people who are so self-confident in themselves who do not care about gossip and criticism. However, at the same time, a legion of suspicious and weak-willed people suffer nearby. For them, the opinion of others is a verdict that cannot be doubted. Self-pity in this case is of a hidden nature, so as not to give rise to additional ridicule from the persecutors.
- End of tunnel situation … It's hard not to start feeling sorry for yourself if fate whipped you on the cheeks. In this case, people react to the problems that have arisen in different ways. This only turns on the rebels, giving rise to a new fight with fate. A person with a more sluggish life position launches a program of tough introspection, which gives him all the parameters for self-flagellation. After the destruction of his own "I", such an individual begins to feel sorry for himself, complaining about the universal disharmony in relation to such a wonderful person.
- Betrayal by loved ones … Sometimes this happens exclusively in the head of someone who begins to feel sorry for himself. For example, let's take two literary characters: Arthur Burton (Gadfly) and the Count of Monte Cristo. Both are rebels with an unhappy fate that has been changed by both people and circumstances. The situations are different, because the Gadfly, with the alleged betrayal of his beloved Gemma, took offense at the whole world. Edmond Dantes (Count of Monte Cristo) went the other way, taking revenge on his real offenders and not becoming a victim of self-pity. Consequently, everyone reacts differently to the fact of betrayal by people who are significant to them.
- Manipulation of loved ones … This is most likely the most unpleasant cause of self-pity. The fact is that either experienced provocateurs or egoists to the core are engaged in this. There are rare cases when vulnerable and insecure people feel sorry for themselves at the expense of loved ones. It is very important for them to show themselves weak and defenseless in this world full of dangers. In short, the problem looks like a diagram: I am good - you are strong - danger - I feel sorry for myself - help, because I am good.
Important! Psychologists strongly recommend distinguishing between manipulators and those who truly feel sorry for themselves for substantial reasons. Such people need help from loved ones to get out of a crisis situation.
The main signs of a self-pitying person
In everyday life, it is easiest to spot an outright bastard, because he does not hide his bright plumage of immorality. However, the hidden or visible whiner is also easy to identify:
- Eeyore donkey type … The reasons for such a subject's self-pity are often unknown, but the whole suffering look of a loser speaks of a deep tragedy. People of this type of character feel sorry for themselves always and everywhere, because it is easier and easier to admit their failure.
- Doubtful rebel … These subjects are loudly indignant, but at the same time they quietly feel sorry for themselves. Very often they are simply selfish, who hide their essence behind lush and loud phrases about world peace and human rights.
- Active pessimist … For such an individual, everything is very bad in life, even with a fairly well-established life. Mechanic Green from the animated film Mystery of the Third Planet is a prime example of people of this kind. "What's wrong with us?" - the motto of active pessimists who very often feel sorry for themselves. It is not they who are always to blame, but the circumstances that they have already foreseen.
- Public whiner … In fact, this personality is very simple in description and very complex in perception. There are such people in any team, because they simply cannot be. Complaints in their mouths sound like an oath of loyalty to themselves, because they are mostly selfish natures. The attention of others for them is air, water and daily food.
- A versatile "crying vest" … People of this type are always drawn to their own kind. They are not interested in whole and strong natures, because they do not have the slightest flaw. Feeling sorry for yourself is fine, but enjoying the process with someone else is a delightful act for whiners on such a creative scale.
- Overconfident sufferer … It would seem that these are incompatible concepts, but they get along quite harmoniously in such a person. If a peacock man is abandoned by a girl, then self-pity will completely absorb the unlucky lover. True, he will not regret the loss of his beloved, but that such a nice guy constantly falls into the networks of insidious predators. As a result, he will calm down, because there are few super-males in the world. Therefore, the ideal man needs to take care of himself, and not writhe in the throes of introspection.
- Quiet Household Despot … There are violent tyrants who, according to some unknown laws created, need to teach the other half of the wits with their fists. However, there is a type of people who are more cunning, who are able to drive everyone close to white heat and remain at the same time a victim of family repression. These individuals feel sorry for themselves modestly, but with destructive power.
- Little Napoleon … “I said - and the point” is the motto of such field marshals of a regional scale. At the same time, they can talk a lot, but always off topic and out of time. Among the mass of cliches they uttered about the order in a system they most unknown, it is easy to recognize a whiner. In a situation of well-deserved failure of brilliant ideas and plans, they begin to feel sorry for the brilliant "I" in such a perfect body.
Note! The listed signs of a self-pitying person can be inherent in a small dose to each person. You just need to prevent the fact that the described problem becomes a dominant aspect in the life of an adequate person.
Methods for Dealing with Self-Pity
You can feel sorry for yourself, but you don't need to. Signs of self-pity must be eradicated from the outset in order not to become another victim of circumstances.
Conservative ways to eliminate self-pity
Each person loves his own person for the simple reason that he is the only one. If you correctly approach the solution of the described problem, then it is necessary to act according to the following plan:
- Self-hypnosis … In this case, auto-training from the movie "The most charming and attractive" will help, which at one time attracted the attention of many viewers. It is necessary to tune yourself to the maximum positive, so that self-pity is transformed into compassion for others. The setting that everything that is done is for the best works quite well. It is necessary to remove gloomy thoughts about evil fate and God, who punishes for committed sinful deeds.
- Color therapy and sessions with aromatic oils … Few people attach importance to the fact that these techniques are able to bring a person out of depression. Anything that is pleasing to the eye can be useful in combating the emerging self-pity. The setting works: I feel sorry for myself - it looks beautiful and smells good - but I'm an esthete - it's not so bad.
- Social networks … The World Wide Web knows many ways to get rid of self-pity. You can create yourself a fake superhero or femme fatale. It is pointless to be ashamed here, because no one will locate the legendary personality in the network. This psychotherapy is capable of returning even the most desperate person to life.
- Detachment from public opinion … Feelings of shame are very often fruitfully based on this factor. Sometimes it is very important for us to know the outcome, if not this outfit were worn, but that robe with mother-of-pearl buttons. After all, at the same time Marya Ivanovna sternly knitted her eyebrows, and the grandmothers at the next doorway shook their heads reproachfully. You shouldn't feel sorry for yourself at the same time, because everyone has their own skeletons in the closet, with which others would not hurt to deal with.
Radical ways to combat self-pity
Let's take a closer look at how to get rid of a constant state of pity in relation to your person using methods of a more radical nature:
- The method of "erasing personal history" … It should be immediately noted that such a process can quite aggressively affect the human psyche. This method was created by the famous mystic writer Carlos Castaneda, who was always interested in everything unusual and shocking. In this case, getting rid of pity goes along the following chain: the destruction of the Ego (a sense of one's own exclusiveness) - taking on the obligation to be responsible for everything that happens - comprehending the idea of death as such. At first glance, this technique seems insane for a sane person. However, if one realizes the frailty of being and the consistency of life's finale, then many values will be radically revised. Feeling sorry for yourself will become illogical if you follow Castaneda's advice.
- Negative example method … The days of orienting whiners from Spider-Man or Batman are over. They are too good for those who have joined the ranks of those offended by fate. Self-pity will not tolerate such rescuers of humanity under any guise. Therefore, you need to start from what is obviously unpleasant and unacceptable. “It's easy to be good, but try not to be bad” is the motto of the whiners seeking to correct.
- Self-torture by sports … Bad is the one who at least once in his life did not take a weight in his hand. The joke is good only if the described sports equipment did not fall into the hands of the whiner. He will categorically refuse to think about what to do with this tool, even to get rid of the existing problem. In this case, you need to take a subscription to the gym so that the specialists begin the fight against self-pity by eliminating the tummy, cellulite and other things so beloved by the common man.
- Extravagant act … A person who has lost himself, in principle, needs little. He is already in a state where life without self-pity is impossible. In this case, a bold and decisive attack on fate will help. Walking naked with the flag of a related or friendly country is not an option for an adequate person. The solution to this situation will be a bold project for creative individuals or a creative proposal to the authorities for dogmatists.
How to get rid of self-pity - watch the video:
Self-pity is the first step into that abyss called depression. It is necessary to clearly identify all methods of how to overcome self-pity. At first glance, an emotion that is not worth attention can over time destroy the life of even the most successful person.
