The concept of aversion to one's own person, its main varieties behind the direction vector. The main ways to deal with this feeling and advice from psychologists. Disgust is an emotional, purposeful reaction of acute dislike, which, depending on the intensity of the expression of symptoms, can be unbearable. This is a reaction of rejection or rejection of your body, actions, character or thoughts. In most cases, it is shaped by physical features.
Description and mechanism for the development of self-loathing
In an adult, self-loathing begins with shame. This is the first manifestation that can be noticed immediately. The mechanism of its development lies in the depth of the internal evaluation criteria.
Each individual has his own ideals about how he should be, how to look in the eyes of other people. Perhaps, over time, these standards lend themselves to adjustment, but in general they are a driving force that makes us develop and improve. When a person begins to compare the real picture of his personality and the ideal that he wants to see, a feeling of dissatisfaction arises. For some people, this is an additional incentive that motivates well, while for others it is a reason for frustration and disappointment. The difference in such reactions is formed due to the personal characteristics of each person, basic self-esteem and volitional qualities. Individual emotional sensitivity allows the formation of a feeling of self-loathing if he does not like some of his characteristics or do not correspond to the ideals he dreams of.
Of great importance is a person's perception of himself, his internal assessment of his own qualities, which may be lower than the objective one. In this case, the non-compliance of the requirements for oneself will be caused by a non-existent deficit. For example, an individual considers himself not beautiful enough or is disgusted with a specific part of the body, although objectively there are no reasons for such judgments. That is why it is so important to distinguish between psychological aversion, which may not have an essential basis, and physical, which is associated with the characteristics of the individual. In the second case, the feeling of disgust can change under the influence of different arguments and is available for correction. In the first, the psychological attitude to disgust will not allow us to regard sane arguments as possible options for an exit, but only to deny the likelihood of eliminating their shortcomings.
In such cases, the psychotherapist must fight first with a person's self-esteem, with his internal mechanism of response to his own personality and reduced volitional qualities. In some situations, self-loathing can be an early symptom of serious mental illness and represent specific dysmorphic manifestations. This means that in the event of an insurmountable problem that will significantly complicate your life, you should definitely contact a specialist.
Causes of self-loathing
In almost all cases, self-loathing, shame for one's body, actions or thoughts is a projection of childhood experiences. Events at an early age, even if they are outwardly insignificant, can play a crucial role in the formation of a child's self-esteem. Naturally, the greatest responsibility rests with the parents or guardians who raised him.
The reasons for the development of such sensations in adulthood lie deeply in the awareness of one's own individuality, uniqueness. In childhood, the concept of identity should be seen as a positive quality of uniqueness, and not as a visible difference from social standards. Often this kind of education is provided by television and the mass media. In childhood, when the system of internal assessment of oneself has not yet been developed, such influences can violate the boundaries of the norm and the installation of incorrect ideals. Famous personalities who are published on the covers of glossy magazines make the child feel that this is perfection worth striving for, and not just an example. If in adulthood the feeling of one's own inferiority remains, it is quite possible to form a feeling of self-loathing. The chances of this can be increased by the presence of some visible feature, shortcomings that a person cannot accept and denies with the help of such a reaction.
Examples of such individual characteristics may be burring, poor eyesight, some pronounced facial features, not the average indicators of weight, height. Some may have complexes due to nationality, religious affiliation. On this basis, they feel disgust for themselves and constantly ask themselves why it is me.
Adolescence plays an important role. It is during this period that children are most sensitive to condemnation or humiliation. But some, on the contrary, increase their assessment by ridiculing the qualities of others, thereby feeling the desired superiority. Adolescence is considered special because of the new stage of socialization, puberty, when attention from the opposite sex is almost a priority. It is in this period that the opinion of others is perceived most sharply by a person.
Over the years, there is a rationalization of all judgments and the acceptance of their own uniqueness, but not all of them. For some, the feeling of inferiority remains for the rest of their lives and manifests itself in a kind of infantilism and dependence on the opinions of others.
In some cases, self-disgust manifests itself after a significant change in weight, appearance. For example, women may feel this way during pregnancy or immediately after childbirth. The changed body begins to dislike so much that the likelihood of developing postpartum depression and self-loathing increases.
The same applies to accidents, which changed a person's appearance so much that he begins to be ashamed of others, withdraws into himself. Psychological discomfort with varying degrees of deformities and deficiencies that change the body can have serious consequences.
Signs of a person's self-loathing
Signs of self-loathing coincide with its general manifestations. Also, they may differ for each person, depending on his individual characteristics.
Disgust means a negative reaction to something extremely bad or downright nasty, which causes nausea and a desire to avoid such feelings. The factor that provokes this feeling is an event, thing, person. The vector of disgust is directed at him, and the mechanism for avoiding such a negative experience is turned on.
In case of self-loathing, a person will try to expose his “shortcomings” as little as possible, so as not to arouse evaluative opinions. Depending on what kind of traits he does not like in himself, he will hide those. There is a fear of attacks of disgust, which are provoked by the risk of being ridiculed or leading to the same feeling in other people.
For example, if it is burr or other disorders associated with speech, the person will try to talk less, especially with strangers, will choose a job and a profession that will hide him from possible negative assessments from the outside.
People who are disgusted with their own appearance make up the overwhelming majority. They avoid mirrors, do not like to be photographed and appear in public. They choose clothes that are not too provocative and behave the same way. Self-loathing prompts the only desire - to be like everyone else, but in fact this is impossible under any circumstances.
The emotion of disgust, like many others, is manifested by a number of mimic signs that allow you to express it. Despite the fact that each person is able to respond in different ways, in most cases, facial expressions do not hide the true feelings.
Disgust is manifested by such mimic signs:
- Shrinking … A person raises the inner corners of his eyebrows, wrinkles his eyes.
- The upper lip is lifted … Some people have nose wrinkles with her.
People try to hide what they consider a disadvantage, turn to specialists, consult with different doctors. Women are characterized by increased use of concealing cosmetics, if the vector of their disgust is directed at their own face.
Over time, self-doubt and shyness develop. Contacts with others begin to cause shame, embarrassment with all vegetative manifestations. Such people often have difficulty communicating with the opposite sex, accepting themselves not "good" or worthy enough to connect their lives with another person, and are critical of compliments.
Positive comments from other people about a painful trait are perceived as latent ridicule, and the person reacts very painfully.
Ways to deal with feelings of self-loathing
In most cases, self-loathing can be eliminated independently, by increasing self-esteem and volitional qualities with age. That is, over the years, a person begins to relate to the requirements of society differently, more focused on his own well-being than on someone else's opinion. In some situations, this symptom remains for the entire adult life, sometimes it even becomes the first sign of serious illness. That is why, if an unbearable feeling of self-disgust arises, which a person cannot cope with, you should seek help from a specialist.
Rationalization
In mild to moderate cases, it can be very effective to try to normalize perception and standardize your assessments, excluding affective coloration. This method is able to teach a person how to look at himself from the outside, to try to assess his qualities from the point of view of an independent expert, avoiding one-sided judgment. Thus, it is possible to level the self-esteem of an individual with more objective indicators. If it is underestimated, you should show the real picture that others see. In some cases, it will be useful to consult a specialist, cosmetologist, plastic surgeon who deal with such cases and can correctly assess the situation and give the necessary recommendations.
In practice, rationalization means realizing what is causing the disgust and developing basic ways to solve such problems.
A psychologist can help with this. Sessions of individual or group psychotherapy, where the person will be given the opportunity to speak, will have a positive impact on the formation of self-esteem.
Adaptation
The main goal of any psychotherapeutic assistance to people with hatred and self-loathing is socialization. Efforts are aimed at adapting a person to everyday life, communicating with others.
There are several practical techniques that are most often used in order to return self-esteem to the proper level:
- Photo … If a person experiences self-loathing because of his appearance, a photo session is often used. Naturally, its conditions must correspond to the wishes of the individual himself. Sometimes it is better to be liberated by shooting in certain images, costumes, when a person transforms into someone else. Thus, it is possible to achieve the transfer of the vectors of hatred and the discovery of personality without complexes. Then these photographs are subject to viewing by the person himself, and together with the psychologist he will be able to make sure that his problem is far from the one he drew in his imagination.
- Examples of … If the reason for disgust is not appearance, but some other qualities, you should consider examples of successful people who managed to overcome such complexes and are no longer shy about their characteristics. Some individuals with stuttering have successfully realized themselves in the career of artists and are quite happy, since they accept their uniqueness and originality as a highlight, and also learned to use it correctly for their own purposes.
- Implementation … This method can be applied for years, and it directly depends on the efforts and desire of a person to change their self-esteem. Find what works well in comparison to other people. It can be a beautiful voice, the ability to draw, write poetry, do some crafts, explain some information to others, solve complex problems, or any other activity that you like and have a penchant for. In some cases, these talents are muted due to low self-esteem and the belief that the person does not deserve it. Successful work and talent must be judged by others in one of the possible ways. The person chooses the ways of realization independently.
Features of the prevention of self-loathing
Prevention is an important part of the fight against this problem. Trigger factors for the development of self-loathing can be avoided with the help of proper parenting from an early age. Their social adaptation must be gradual and correct, it is impossible to deliberately reduce the dignity of the child or overestimate it, since during this period children are very sensitive to such phenomena.
Childhood is characterized as a period in a person's life when he learns what the world is and how to look for his place in it. That is why false judgments about a child's abilities can confuse correct attitudes and cause self-loathing in the future.
Particular attention should be paid to the adolescent period, when the child feels a certain degree of freedom and permissiveness, but still does not know how to properly cope with various psychotraumas that can form self-loathing.
After accidents, events that lead to a change in a person's appearance, it is worth consulting him with a psychologist. A qualified specialist will help identify the main factors in the development of such problems and prevent serious consequences in advance.
How to get rid of self-loathing - watch the video:
Self-disgust is an incorrect form of perception of one's “I” and a negative assessment of one's qualities. Often such a manifestation can be a symptom of very serious diseases, so it is imperative to consult a psychologist if this problem complicates a person's social life.
