The article tells about the causes of the feeling of despair, common types of the condition, as well as how to cope with it with the help of psychological techniques and folk advice. The feeling of despair is a pathological condition of a person that can completely destroy his life. Even the most self-confident people face this negative emotion that goes hand in hand with depression. It is worth figuring out how to eliminate this feeling at the earliest stages of its development.
Causes of Despair in People
In the life of any person, there are emotions such as sadness, longing or sadness. Only hardened cynics do not experience them, who cold-bloodedly react to any manifestations directed against morality. Despair is unknown to such subjects, but there are many more sensitive people in society.
The reasons for despair can lie in the following life situations and features of the human character:
- Unrequited love … She is known to be submissive to all ages. Even rebellious bachelors cannot deny the fact that at least once in their life they were seriously attracted by another person. The happiest people are narcissistic narcissists because their adoration of themselves will always be rewarded. In the movie "Big Change" the song "We choose, we are chosen, as it often does not coincide" sounded, which immediately became loved by the people. Even the most powerful person can be broken by unrequited love. Additional suffering to the desperate can be brought about by the happy eyes of the object of passion, which are directed in a completely different direction.
- Betrayal of a loved one … If you do not take into account the convinced swingers, then cheating can be a tangible blow to one of the partners. However, not only physical betrayal with another person is capable of driving the victim of betrayal into despair. Sometimes a careless or deliberate word can actually bring more trouble than an actual act. A secret told to strangers or a lack of support in a difficult moment from a loved one can lead a person into a state of deep disappointment, which is close in nature to despair.
- Collapse of hopes … Sometimes we plan the impossible because we see ourselves as generators of brilliant ideas and natural leaders. Loving yourself is not forbidden, but a sense of proportion should always be present when analyzing your further actions. The result in this case is always sad: broken hopes and immersion in a world of painful despair.
- Loss of a significant person … The death of loved ones is always an ordeal for the psyche. Not everyone is able to withstand this, because the mechanism of despair automatically turns on. Separation from a dear person without the prospect of a further meeting can enter the same state.
- Inveterate selfishness … This concept should not be confused with hedonism, when a person puts life's pleasures above all else. By caring first of all about themselves, people of this type can then readily help others. Such lively ones radiate so much energy that they are always surrounded by a large number of friends. Egoists, who from morning till night regret, groom and cherish themselves exclusively, very often become gloomy and bilious loners. Human nature is designed in such a way that we want not only to give, but also to receive in return. One who only loves to share everything unselfishly, either a blissful person, or an altruist at the very peak of the development of self-denial. As a result, the egoist is completely at a loss because he remains in complete loneliness. The result is a sinking into despair, which can develop into persistent depression.
- Lethargy of the soul … In people with a clear life position, periods of despair are not prolonged, because the instinct of self-preservation is triggered. An amorphous person willingly gives himself up to be torn apart by fate and circumstances. His main self-justification is the belief that rock will overtake anyway, always and everywhere. It is easier for such a fatalist to plunge into a whirlpool of despair than to fight for his life.
- Serious and incurable disease … This attack can overtake both the person himself and his loved ones. In this case, people are seized by despair, the nature of which is understandable to anyone. There is not much to say here, because such a life situation is beyond the capacity of even the strongest spirit.
Important! Psychologists insist to consult a specialist in all of these cases. A person in despair is a direct prerequisite for suicide or mental disorder.
Types of despair in humans
As strange as it sounds, despondency and despair come in different forms. The most striking manifestations of this mental shock include the following types:
- Despair is a challenge … Stefan Zweig said about such people that "great despair always gives rise to great strength." Such individuals do not need the help of psychologists, since the described state of mind is a temporary phenomenon.
- Despair-weakness … Hypochondriacs with a lazy soul love to be in a state of chronic depression. They need to suffer like air and find in themselves a hundred non-existent diseases. In this case, weak character leads their life to a continuous immersion in despair. The help of a psychotherapist with this problem is needed only if the person secretly does not get pleasure from self-torture.
- Despair as an established system … The famous writer Albert Camus once argued that "the habit of despair is much worse than despair itself." There are people-programs who enter a certain state and do not accept any attempts to change the current situation.
- Complete despair … This type of mental breakdown is the most dangerous. It is accompanied by severe depression and unwillingness to live. A large number of suicides are associated precisely with the cause of complete despair. In this case, a person must literally be saved in all possible ways.
Ways to Deal with Despair in Life
From all of the above, we can conclude that despair can and should be fought. A self-respecting person will never allow circumstances to control his life. A state of despair is a pathology that must be eliminated in order to avoid a tragic ending.
Psychological tips for getting rid of despair
Healers of human souls have developed a whole system of dealing with an insidious disease that destroys the essence of the individual. After all, life is something worth fighting for to the end.
Among the most common ways to get rid of despair, psychologists identify the following methods of eliminating the problem:
- Positive attitude … We ourselves create our own destiny, so blaming others for what happened is a thankless task. It is necessary to activate the so-called "center of happiness" in oneself, which will help to avoid prolonged depression. You can become selfish for a short period of time in order to recover from the trauma inflicted on the psyche. Despair is an insidious thing that triggers a self-destruction mechanism. Therefore, in the fight against him, you need to pay as much attention to yourself as possible in order to return to your loved ones and relatives with a completely different person.
- Activation of the "positive chain" … In this case, the animated film "Just like that" is immediately remembered, which, in terms of its semantic load, has no restrictions in terms of the age category. A boy with a pure soul and just a good mood brought several characters of the animated video out of the state of depression and despair. From the above, we can conclude that an excellent means of fighting despair is not voluptuous sobbing in a circle of their own kind, but communication with cheerful optimists.
- Full contact with family and friends … Another proven method of eliminating despair from life is the scarring of wounds in the family. If the betrayal happened precisely on their part, then you can always find consolation in a conversation with trusted friends. Very rarely, a person has no one to turn to for help at all. Perhaps, simply in a depressed state, he does not notice those who are truly dear. The popular saying that "a husband loves a healthy wife, and a brother loves a rich sister" is unacceptable among decent people with clear moral principles. In this case, you will have a chance to test your environment, removing unreliable hypocrites from it in the future.
- Finding an interesting hobby … Nothing helps in a depressed state more than engaging in fun activities. You should remember what you liked during childhood. A streak of despair in a person's life is a great opportunity to make up for what was once missed. If molding was to your heart, then you can try yourself in pottery. If you want to draw pictures without having a visible talent for painting, you should also not deprive yourself of the chance of rehabilitation. It is not for nothing that antidepressant coloring books and paintings with an applied outline of the future masterpiece have become very popular today. Even self-improvement in the artistic whistle will by no means be a shameful matter when it comes to saving your fate.
- Occupational therapy … Many people, after the loss of a loved one, plunge headlong into work, trying to load themselves to the maximum. This often works, because sometimes the soul hurts even more precisely in idleness. Serf Stepan from the famous film "Formula of Love" clearly formulated the state of hypochondria and despair. A simple man accurately figured out the master's problem, which lay in inaction and stupid doubts.
- Quitting bad habits or limiting them … Only naive people or convinced alcoholics believe that hops can dull recurring mental pain. The only gain with such a lifestyle is a systematic hangover, which is unlikely to add color to the life of the desperate. Those who are accustomed to “seize” grief with a cigarette instead of full-value food will also have to experience a sense of despair more than once in case of subsequent illnesses.
Attention! If all of the above methods of dealing with despair have not been successful, then a visit to a psychotherapist is recommended. You just need to find a competent and trusted specialist so as not to get on a session with a charlatan.
Traditional methods of dealing with despair
Since ancient times, people have tried different methods of eradicating mental ailments. There were no psychotherapists at that time, and not everyone could afford to be sad and sad in the struggle for survival.
The popular advice on how to deal with despair was as follows:
- Prayer … The church has always been one of the most popular means of helping people. When a problem arose, the people recommended that they retire in a secluded place to offer prayer to God. Then it was necessary to light an icon lamp or a church candle and stand in front of the icon necessary for the ceremony. It was believed that it is best to appeal to John Chrysostom, Nicholas the Wonderworker, Jesus the Almighty and, of course, the Mother of God. The next step for our ancestors was the prayer "Our Father" and repentance for committed sins. In conclusion, it was advised to read the proclamation to the very Saint, in front of whose icon the ceremony was performed.
- Conspiracy … Superstition has always been inherent in man, so people often resorted to such things. In this case, it was recommended to take a piece of white cloth or a scarf and go with it to the church that was next to the cemetery. Having given alms to the suffering at the holy monastery, it was necessary to feed the birds with the bread they brought with them. Then candles were to be lit for those saints on whom the hope of deliverance from despair was pinned. The final action of our ancestors in the conspiracy ritual is to pass the cemetery strictly clockwise and read the corresponding spell at the exit from it. It was necessary to do this while facing the graves, while holding a white handkerchief in his left hand. The words of the conspiracy looked something like this: “In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit! Your servant has come to the threshold of the kingdom of the dead (the name given at baptism was called). He did not bring death with him, but only his black sorrow and hateful thoughts. May all this remain in the damp earth among those who will not return. Let them keep my unkind thoughts and hateful sadness. Everything I said - an iron lock, steel locks and a stone canopy. Till the end of time. Amen!". The final touch of the ritual is leaving the crumpled handkerchief in the cemetery, throwing nine coins over the shoulder with the right hand with the comment that everything has been paid.
- ethnoscience … If despair arose in seriously ill people, then ordinary people advised reading a prayer in front of the icon "The Tsaritsa", while invoking the Mother of God. This had to be done regularly, taking decoctions and infusions of medicinal herbs between ceremonies. For each disease, its own healing plant was supposed, but this prayer was preferred in case of ailment. To calm down during depression, which led to despair, it was recommended to drink infusions of knotweed (1 teaspoon for 2 glasses of water), mint (in a 1: 1 ratio) and chicory roots (20 g of raw materials per glass of boiling water).
How to deal with despair - watch the video:
Despair is a serious pathology that imperceptibly can turn a person into a puppet in the hands of fate. Resisting this feeling is difficult, but quite real. The described tips will show anyone possible ways how not to fall into despair and give a worthy rebuff to the pursuing fate.
