The concept of vanity and the main reasons for its occurrence in a person, the impact on life and on the people around. Basic methods of struggle. The content of the article:
- Impact on life
- Main reasons
- The main signs
- How to overcome vanity
Vanity is the sense of fame, recognition, and arrogance of a person for no apparent reason. The root of this problem lies in the distortion of self-esteem to create a certain image that can somehow help you feel better. In its pure form, vanity means sweet self-deception, arrogance, pride, which does not lead to anything good and only repels other people.
The Impact of Vanity on Life
Vanity is a lie to oneself that revolves around self-worth and is fueled by self-praise and flattery. Naturally, such a person is not able to correctly assess the level of his capabilities, because vanity increases the number of positive qualities and raises him to a new pedestal. This is a normal desire to be recognized and the pursuit of praise often exhausts a person inwardly. And after this, it is very difficult to find an inner balance.
Inadequate self-esteem distorts the perception of a person by those around him and makes him a braggart. Usually, in such cases, close people and friends are lost. Pride maximally exalts a person over others and makes him higher only in his mind. Outwardly, it looks as if he imagines too much of himself and, naturally, does not inspire confidence in others.
Vanity excludes the possibility of a sober outlook on life. A person is unable to understand the feelings of others and correctly assess the situation. In the family, problems are growing due to misunderstandings. The vain man in the street will demand too much from others that he himself does not deserve. He expects calling, praise and honor for his actions, which, in fact, are worth nothing of the kind.
The vanity of a woman turns her husband away from her, who begins to consider his wife too arrogant. She loses her friends, demanding constant praise from them and speaking out negatively about them. Such a woman is convinced of her own superiority and does not doubt it at all. Moreover, she persistently tries to gain recognition from the people around her, while not being too polite to themselves.
The problem of such a person is in self-esteem, which is not motivated by anything, but banally overestimated due to internal conflict and unresolved personal problems. Over time, children stop treating vain mothers the way they demand, and family conflict grows. Naturally, in the future, any relationship deteriorates, because no one will recognize the cult of an undeserved person.
Vain men very often turn their women into obedient followers of their immodest persona. Such a person will choose the most meek and quiet girl who will constantly confirm and support his "pseudo title". If the family will develop, then only on the basis of the indispensable reverence for the man in the family and respect for his vain ego. The husband will build any relationship around himself and his person, while overshadowing all the merits of his wife and children.
Inflated self-esteem and the constant demand for recognition from loved ones will slowly destroy family relationships, which will immediately lead to the quite expected collapse. The situation with children in the family will be the same as in the case of a woman. Vanity encourages you to put yourself above any other family member's interests. That is why mutual understanding in such families is completely absent.
The main reasons for the development of vanity
Vanity is always a consequence of internal conflict, a split in the perception of oneself. A person mixes the real with the desired and believes what he likes best. The split occurs due to a traumatic situation or prolonged exposure to an unfavorable climate, for example, upbringing in a dysfunctional family.
Vanity is considered as a variant of the distorted compensation of the psyche for the missing feelings. But, getting stuck on the feeling of their acute shortage, a person loses the opportunity to soberly assess the situation. Sometimes this feeling develops as a result of prolonged maintenance of a false image in an artificial way.
Arrogance can occur as a result of being overly friendly to a person, praising and exaggerating his achievements, although, in fact, there was no reason for this. Unfortunately, both options happen quite often, but depending on different situations, they can take on slightly different shades.
Perhaps the reason lies in childhood. Difficult relationships with parents or loved ones, who allowed themselves to offend the child and belittle his dignity, can quite realistically affect the formation of an unhealthy psyche of the child.
Constant belittling causes a feeling of lack of certain emotions that accompany pride and recognition. After all, every person sincerely dreams of being recognized or hearing praise. Those children who have never heard it, turn simple words into value and appropriate it for themselves. It is like a way to compensate for the damage done in childhood. A person who has been belittled creates an aura of pride and recognition around himself, literally demanding honor from others.
Arrogance manifests itself in every situation and acts as a defensive reaction. Sometimes this is a way to prove to yourself that the parents were wrong and the person is really worth something. In any case, the compensatory reaction goes far beyond that primary family conflict, and the layman learns to live with pride, takes it for granted.
Often a person's arrogance develops after a difficult school age. Whatever the adults, children can sometimes be very cruel. School years are accompanied by intensive development of the child's psyche. Bullying by peers, public humiliation can seriously harm an unformed outlook, including self-esteem. Moreover, adolescence with characteristic hormonal surges enhances the effect and can even lead to negative consequences.
These events, in fact, cause a split in the personality and some change in their ego. A protective reaction in the form of high self-esteem develops compensatory. A person creates for himself an image and a reputation that will not be tarnished, and is very worried about it. Begins to perceive himself much higher than he really is.
Most often, vanity develops as a result of poor upbringing. No, for this it is not necessary to scold the child or humiliate him, it is quite enough to allow him to behave as he wants. The absence of an established framework of behavior and prohibitions forms pathological permissiveness.
Over time, such a person begins to get used to the fact that everyone will treat him the same way as their parents, more and more reliably convinced of their own superiority. Self-esteem grows with the child over the years, without denying himself anything, an image of his own consummateness and perfection is formed. High demands on society and arrogant self-esteem foster vain pride.
The main signs of vanity in a person
It is quite easy to recognize a conceited person in communication. They usually give themselves away due to high self-esteem and a look down on the interlocutor. First of all, he talks about his merits and superiority, focuses on his own qualities, slightly embellishing achievements and qualities.
In a conversation, he tries either to dominate and conduct the conversation, or to look down on the interlocutor with a contemptuous or even contemptuous glance. The thread of the conversation is constantly trying to draw in familiar topics, to tell about yourself. He never asks about others and takes little interest in the affairs of the interlocutor.
Of course, all of the above is characteristic of an extreme degree of vanity, but some of the similar signs are easy to notice in your friends and acquaintances. Vanity is manifested by the characteristic centralization of conversations. Such a person uses any occasion and topic to tell everyone about a new event in his life, an achievement that is actually not very important.
He actualizes insignificant events and tries to become the center of attention, transfers the conversation from others to himself. With all this, inner vanity makes you feel uncomfortable if pride is hurt or someone else is in the center of the conversation.
Vanity sometimes does not allow you to do some simple things that are peculiar to people, for example, apologize, ask for something. These are ordinary concepts, but it is very difficult for a conceited person to descend to them. To do this, you need to lower your pride scale and “condescend” to simple requests or apologies. Signs of this condition may include an inability to treat people tactfully, persistence in one's own way, and a lack of flexibility in life situations.
At work, such people often succeed, but they also fly by because of their pride. A person is very proud of his place and values it above all else. Vain bosses adore flattery and praise, praising such in time can even get a significant bonus or promotion. But, hearing not too pleasant reviews about yourself, everything changes: the anger of vanity is a rather unpleasant thing, and it is better not to face it.
How to overcome vanity
Vanity, after all, is an internal conflict, and it must be resolved from within. Only by finding the root of the problem can you get rid of this unpleasant quality forever. Naturally, the ideal solution for this task would be a timely appeal to a specialist - a psychologist or psychotherapist. With a few sessions of cognitive behavioral therapy, you can adjust your self-esteem and set the right priorities on your life path.
For men, the importance of the question of how to deal with vanity is rarely raised. Their pride is quite difficult to hurt and shake to such a level that they begin to doubt the veracity of their ideas.
But still, some of them, who notice this not too pleasant quality, want to get rid of it as soon as possible. This means that the first stage of the reassessment has already begun and there is minimal criticism of one's own feelings.
Women struggle with vanity is much more difficult than men. They have a stronger self-esteem and pride that is motivated by social attitudes. How to get rid of vanity, it will be interesting only for the woman to whom it has already caused a lot of problems and complicates social adaptation. Only then will she begin to look for means and ways to deal with this condition.
For both sexes, it is important to realize the value of your own person, critically assess your abilities and capabilities, or, in other words, be honest with yourself. The latter is the most difficult thing for people who have deceived themselves all their lives and showed themselves better than they really are.
You need to appreciate and accept the importance of other people, learn to respect their rights and dignity, recognize the best sides and share the opinions of others. You need to understand your role in a large mechanism and accept it, be able to appreciate the importance of others, be able to admit your mistakes and shortcomings.
There are no ideal people, everyone can find a flaw in himself that characterizes him as a person, and people tend to make mistakes. It must be remembered that admitting your shortcomings is the greatest courage, which is far from being subject to everyone. To overcome an internal conflict, it is necessary, first of all, to pacify your own pride by taking the first steps on the path to success.
How to get rid of vanity - watch the video:
A person's strength is far from material wealth, achievement or competition. They forever remain only memories and pictures from memory. The real value is the people who are near, no matter what, those who will remain when there is nothing left. You need to be able to distinguish inner self-respect and fortitude from vile vanity, which draws you into the abyss of envy, pride and loneliness.
