Varieties of envy and its destructive power. The article will discuss methods of dealing with the feeling that poisons the lives of a large number of people. Envy is a condition that every person has encountered at least once in his life. Only people detached from the world who do not care about other people's achievements do not cast a sidelong glance at the beautiful and successful. Sometimes it is necessary to clearly define for yourself the reasons for envy and ways of dealing with this unpleasant phenomenon.
The impact of envy on a person's life
An effective girlfriend, the rapid career growth of a colleague, the stable well-being of a friend - all this can become a reason for discomfort in some people. Even if the person is not particularly gloomy and evil, the feeling of envy visits even the best representatives of society.
Rejection of other people's success can turn into a real disaster for an envious person. Ultimately, a person will receive such unpleasant, but well-deserved surprises from fate:
- Loneliness … Few people want to deal with a grouch who is haunted by other people's happiness and prosperity. Such people are usually shunned or kept to a minimum.
- Inferiority complex … Passively watching someone else's life, the envious deprives himself of the opportunity to live his own with dignity. All this leaves a certain imprint on his fate, creating and cultivating all kinds of complexes.
- Probability of wrongdoing … Negative emotions are often dangerous in their harmful consequences. The destructive power of envy pulls a trail of anger, aggression and meanness with it, which can lead to antisocial actions.
The sounded ending suggests that it is not worth analyzing someone else's life in detail. Better to do self-improvement, reducing to naught envy of other people.
The main reasons for envy
Each person is individual, so his actions will be based on an innate temperament, character warehouse based on the experience gained. Chronic losers and pessimists usually dream about what is sorely lacking in their unfortunate fate.
The main reasons for envy on their part include the following aspects of life:
- Health … It is unlikely that a person with severe chronic diseases will enjoy communicating with friends who are full of health. The tactlessness of such a friend, who will systematically boast of such an advantage, can heat up the situation to the limit.
- External data … The best friend should be bald and fat. Jokes as a joke, but the lion's share of the truth in this statement is. Especially with regard to the fair sex, who do not tolerate competition in terms of appearance. With an acute desire to make a mortal enemy for yourself, it is enough to stun a woman in the forehead with an unflattering assessment of her figure or face.
- Love … Single people (with the exception of committed bachelors) are rarely happy, which can lead to disappointment and anger. Watching a married couple in love, who has complete calm and harmony in their relationship, is not the best pastime for singles.
- Career … A successful colleague will always be annoying to a less fortunate competitor. Against the background of personal failures at work, the luck of Fortune's pet will cause resentment and envy of unlucky people. Moreover, even if he works better, completes assignments faster and draws up complex projects, he will still become an object of envy. After all, the one who is jealous cannot repeat his actions.
- Welfare … It is difficult to sincerely smile at a rich friend when you are harassed by creditors and worn out by the eternal lack of money. Cases of real friendship under such circumstances, or just good relations with each other, are extremely rare.
- Fortune in life … There is a category of people who are constantly lucky. A found wallet full of large bills, a winning lottery ticket, a wonderful family without a loud showdown are the usual circumstances for a darling of fate. Such people are sometimes annoying, because they accept such life bonuses as an unremarkable and routine fact.
Note! Psychologists say that one third of the world's population are envious people. Therefore, one must be extremely attentive to the behavior of those who are trying to enter the immediate environment of a successful person.
Signs of an envious person
Many people are interested in the question of how to protect themselves from communicating with an envious person. The black aura of such individuals can make life difficult for the victim of dark thoughts.
Psychologists characterize the signs of envy as follows:
- Aggressiveness or sarcasm during communication … A self-sufficient person will not waste bile or attack the interlocutor with stinging phrases. All this is banal envy in its worst manifestation, when someone tries to assert himself at someone else's expense.
- Changes in the behavior of an acquaintance after a streak of luck in a potential victim of envy … No matter how sad it sounds, but a friend is known just not in trouble, but in joy. Many can sympathize, but only a few are capable of rejoicing over other people's achievements.
- Strange reaction of the interlocutor to success stories … In this case, the envious person will meet the joyful news of the acquaintance with icy indifference. It also happens that the reaction to such emotional outpourings can be extremely aggressive. This outburst of negativity will give out a secret ill-wisher, communication with whom must be stopped immediately.
- Copying another person's behavior … People who are okay with self-esteem will never imitate anyone. In addition to outright admiration, behind such behavior can hide black envy and anger towards the lucky one.
All these signs should alert a prudent and cautious person. You should not let those close to you who do not value a good attitude towards themselves.
Varieties of envy and their characteristics
You should not always be afraid of the presence of envy in your thoughts. Firstly, there are no absolutely sinless people in the world, because a person is often ruled by emotions. Secondly, envy can also be different in the nature of its origin.
Manifestations of white envy
Competition is one of the main fundamental principles of society's progress. Each of us dreams of being successful and loved, which is so characteristic of human nature. However, the behavior of a person who, openly belittling his qualities, praises a competitor, raises a lot of doubt.
If rivalry does not lead people into a remote corner, then this is pure white envy. There is no need to be afraid of it, because it helps to strive to overcome all new heights. There is nothing criminal in feeling that does not lead to the destruction of human life.
The main components of white envy are as follows:
- Ability to sensibly compare personal and other people's capabilities … In this situation, a person recognizes the superiority of the qualities of another over his own. But it does not make a tragedy, realizing that we are all different.
- Ability to enjoy the success of loved ones or colleagues … Sincere empathy, as well as the sharing of positive emotions, even if I would like to be in the place of another, show that a person has a sensible approach to the situation. And even if somewhere deep in the soul cats scratch. Sooner or later, white envy visits each of us.
- Lack of discomfort after analyzing your life in comparison with someone else's … Yes, someone lives better, someone worse. We analyzed it, made conclusions - and we live on.
White envy is healthy competition for more experience, so you shouldn't berate yourself for this feeling.
Manifestations of black envy
Some psychologists deny any classification of such a thing as envy. In their opinion, this feeling is presented exclusively in one form. Black envy is something that any sane person should avoid. It can bring nothing but destruction of the essence of the individual.
Alarming signs, by which one can imply the presence of the described feeling, look like this:
- Dislike turning into hatred for the object of envy. Even close friends can become enemies simply because one has more luck in life.
- Physical actions that harm a competitor. If the phrase “I really want to ride this happy face” has become familiar and familiar, it's time to start worrying.
- Dissemination of false information about a person who is somehow superior to the envious person. In order to raise his reputation, but without having any data for this, the envious begins to slander his colleague or loved one (quite often a vivid manifestation of this type of envy can be observed in children).
Psychologists recommend not to trigger the "black soul" mechanism. It will be very problematic to stop in curses later, which definitely does not paint any person. In addition, to envy everyone and everything will simply get bored, only now there will be no one left around. After all, no one likes envious people.
How to get rid of envy
Envy is a state of mind that you must get rid of without fail. Hating the whole world, you can plunge into a state of prolonged depression.
Psychologists give the following recommendations on how to get rid of envy:
- Elimination of the annoying factor … No one advises tormenting and trying to physically eliminate the object of envy. It's just that sometimes a more successful friend brags about his achievements, knowing full well about a difficult streak in the life of a friend. This is pure provocation, and you need to get rid of such friends. Zero positive will also be brought into life by a slender woman who lets go of taunts about her friend's curvy figure. Spiteful people who have no place surrounded by a successful person are spiteful and asserted at someone else's expense.
- Tight control over your own emotions … In this case, you do not need to go to extremes, turning into a pillar of salt without the slightest manifestation of feelings. However, it is strongly recommended to monitor your behavior as much as possible. Introspection is an effective means of dealing with such an unpleasant factor as envy.
- Constant work on yourself … Perhaps a neighbor or colleague is insanely annoying with an eternally radiant face when a potential envious person has cats scratching his soul. It should be remembered that a person creates his own destiny and no one is to blame for his problems. At the first stifling symptoms of envy, you need to direct all your efforts to become the best in everything and always.
- Analysis of someone else's life … Digging in someone else's dirty laundry of an unworthy self-respecting person. Discussing the life of a lucky person with gusto is also not a way out of the situation. However, it will not hurt anyone to include logical thinking. Sometimes the stories offered for acquaintance about a well-fed and successful life are nothing more than the banal bravado of a secret loser.
- Working on your own self-esteem … Again, the golden mean is important here in order to avoid extremely negative consequences. Few people will need to communicate with a whiner with a rich past in the form of global troubles. However, an egoist who is narcissistic to a swoon can also remain in proud and rightfully deserved loneliness. All people are unique, so comparing yourself to someone else is a thankless and meaningless task.
- Reassessment of life priorities … The psychology of envy is a subtle thing, but accessible to almost any layman. Perhaps a person simply does not know how to appreciate what he already has. Only having lost this in pursuit of an ideal, the envious begins to understand the futility and perniciousness of such attempts. Love those who are near, and appreciate what fate has given - this is the motto of successful and self-sufficient people.
- Saturation of life with bright events … No one suggests jumping from a parachute with a clear fear of heights or diving with an inability to swim. Let such a thrill become the lot of extreme people with their obvious craving for dangers. You just need to diversify your life as much as possible so that there is no free time for such a trifle as envy.
- Meditation … This type of relaxation will help get rid of the accumulated negative emotions. You always need to take time for yourself, so as not to become subsequently a dangerous person for society. Disposing music, immersion in the state of nirvana will help to cleanse the soul from bad thoughts.
- Seeing a psychotherapist … If the cheekbones are already reduced from envy to a colleague or friend, then this is a pathology, and it must be treated.
In the opposite situation, when a person himself has become the subject of outright envy, one must act categorically. The best defense is offense, so don't brag about your accomplishments. Ideally, you can ask a secret spiteful critic for support. Naturally, he will not help to help, but he will think about the appropriateness of attention to the loser.
How to get rid of envy - watch the video:
Envy is the beginning of the end in life's pursuit of success. Self-sufficient people are generous with positive and self-help. It is worth listening to the recommendations of experts on how to deal with envy so as not to become an eternal hostage of problems.
