Teenage aggression: why a child becomes uncontrollable in adolescence, what types of it are most common, manifestations of aggressive behavior during puberty and the main methods of dealing with them. Adolescent aggression is a side effect of puberty that occurs in response to the growing child's rejection of reality. These can be separate parts of it (the attitude of parents, peers, complexes, the influence of social networks, etc.) or an unwillingness to put up with reality in general. In any case, the aggressive behavior of a teenager is a problem for everyone around him and for himself. Therefore, it requires a solution.
Causes of teenage aggression
Adolescence is a conditional dividing line between childhood and adulthood. Crossing it, the teenager undergoes changes at the physical, physiological and psychological level. That is, not only his appearance changes, but also his internal attitudes, “filters” of perception of the surrounding world. Such changes are stressful for the child. Therefore, under unfavorable circumstances for him, he simply “breaks down” and becomes aggressive. Depending on which of these circumstances prevail, the causes of adolescent aggression are conventionally divided into several groups.
Familial causes of aggressive behavior in adolescents
Most psychologists put the influence of parents at the origins of inappropriate behavior in puberty children: their upbringing methodology, behavior, attitude towards the child and each other. And taking into account the extremely heightened adolescent perception of the environment, any "mistakes" of relatives can become a trigger for aggression.
The main family causes of teenage aggression include:
- Education extremes … In this case, the most significant are the upbringing system and the level of attention given to the child. Moreover, both excessive attention (overprotection) and its lack will be equally dangerous. In the first case, the teenager rebelles, thus defending his right to freedom of choice - what to wear, with whom to communicate, etc. In the second, he chooses the tactics of aggressive behavior to attract the attention of the parents. Likewise, a teenager can go against the rules set by strict parents or respond with aggression to permissiveness.
- Social status and standard of living … As in the case of upbringing, either poverty or the well-being of his parents can negatively affect the behavior of a teenager. So, for example, some children may be angry that their parents are not able to give him what he wants. It can be an expensive phone, a powerful computer, fashionable clothes, various leisure activities, etc. In the same way, unmotivated aggression can be provoked by the opposite state of affairs, when a child has absolutely everything he wants. In this case, a spoiled teenager simply considers himself superior to others, which gives him the right (as he thinks) to behave defiantly.
- Violence in family … Aggressive behavior of a teenager can be a response to aggression that he sees in the family. And here there may be several options for the development of events: the first - he instinctively tries to protect himself from an abusive parent or relative, the second - he copies him. No less destructive for the adolescent psyche can be ridicule and humiliation of his parents in front of other people.
- Jealousy … Sometimes a child in adolescence chooses a line of defiant behavior out of jealousy. The subject of teenage jealousy can be a new family member: the second child who has appeared in the family, the new chosen one of the mother (or the chosen one of the father), his (or her) children.
- Family traditions … It so happens that teenage aggression arises from the rejection of established traditions in the family. This can be the habit of spending free time, the manner of dressing, social circle, choice of profession or life partner, etc. Through aggressive behavior, the teenager tries to break these restrictions and go beyond them.
Biological causes of teenage aggression
Changes inside the child can significantly "spoil" the child's blood in puberty. Hormones are raging in him, his system of perception of the world is "bursting at the seams." And if the parents do not notice these changes in time, the child can "go downhill."
The main biological causes of aggression in puberty are:
- Youthful maximalism … In adolescence, a child desperately searches for himself, his values and attitudes change very quickly, and the perception of the environment has two assessments - either bad or good, or black or white. There are no halftones in the life of a teenager. Therefore, a new model of the child's behavior, not corrected in time by the parents, can turn into a protest against any inconsistency of reality with the "standards" invented by him.
- Puberty … The rampage of hormones also often affects the behavior of teenagers, making them uncontrollable. Moreover, they are difficult to control not only for parents or teachers. They themselves are not always able to pacify their attraction. Therefore, it is important to redirect this young energy on time and correctly into a useful channel - into dancing or sports.
Personal causes of aggression in adolescents
It is not only hormones that can turn a child into a tough teenager, but also his internal state. It can be formed in the process of growing up, inherited with genes, or appear as a result of upbringing. In any case, it will be directly with the personality of the teenager.
The most important personal reasons for the formation of teenage aggression:
- Self-doubt … Quite often, behind the mask of an aggressive, world-defying teenager is a child desperate for support and understanding. It is the lack of confidence in himself, his strengths and capabilities that makes him build walls of denial and opposition around himself. The same feeling pushes him to assert himself at the expense of the weaker or to deserve authority in front of the stronger.
- Guilt … This factor can accompany the already mentioned self-doubt or be a consequence of it. Making a teenager feel guilty is easy. Moreover, he can shape it himself. But this does not mean that he admits it openly. Many adolescents mask their feelings of inferiority with aggressive behavior.
- Resentment … Another character trait that provokes in a supersensitive man during puberty an acute reaction to even the most harmless things.
- Pessimistic mood … Distrust of people and life in general, a pessimistic view of things that surround a teenager can significantly affect his behavior.
The feeling that he (or she) does not meet the expectations of the world around him (parents, loved ones, friends, teachers and other people who are significant to the child) can also make the adolescent aggressive. In this case, internal aggression on oneself is projected onto others.
Situational causes of teenage aggression
Often, aggression in adolescence can be provoked by a certain situation that has had a significant impact on the psyche of the child. It can be an event related to the physiology of a teenager: a serious illness or its consequences, trauma, physical defect that limit a full life. The feeling of inferiority in this case can result in aggressive behavior.
The destructive effect on the psyche of adolescents of certain content, which is "absorbed" by children from the Internet, TV and computer games in unlimited quantities, has already been proven. The most dangerous are films, games, videos, posts with aggressive content. Plunging into such an atmosphere, a teenager tries on the role of a negative, but cool hero, and carries it into real life. He chooses forceful problem-solving methods.
Also, the reason to show yourself "in all its glory" in a negative sense may be the desire to please the representative of the opposite sex or to impress her (him). If a child does not have a normal concept of relationships between the sexes, there is no correct example of such relationships, he himself develops a line of behavior that, in his opinion, will demonstrate his strongest sides.
Varieties of teenage aggression
Depending on how the teenager's rebellion manifests itself, his defiant behavior can be divided into several types.
The main types of teenage aggression according to the direction of manifestation:
- Overt aggression or heteroaggression … Such aggressiveness is aimed at everything that surrounds a teenager - people, animals, things. It can manifest itself in the form of fights, hooliganism, vandalism, insults, humiliation, the use of profanity and defiant behavior. As a way of confronting the world, teenagers can use smoking, alcohol, drugs, promiscuity, vagrancy.
- Latent aggression or auto-aggression … If discontent and rejection is directed by a teenager inward, it is quite difficult to notice it outwardly. Such children do not clearly show their dissatisfaction with reality, but the accumulation of negative energy still finds a way out in the form of nervous breakdowns, depression, neuroses, somatic diseases and even suicide.
Forms of teenage aggression by the way of manifestation:
- Reactive aggression … It is hostility that manifests itself in response to the same hostility. That is, it does not appear constantly, but "on occasion." The trigger here can be a rude attitude towards a teenager - in transport, school, shop, on the street. And a teenager simply cannot restrain himself from responding to rudeness with such behavior.
- Targeted aggression … This is a conscious, constant behavior of a teenager, manifested in disrespect for others, rudeness, fights, defiant behavior. And it does not depend on whether they were rude to him or treated kindly. Most often, this method of self-expression is chosen by children with natural inclinations of a leader, who simply cannot cope with their temperament without outside help.
Manifestations of teenage aggression
The rebellion in the soul of a teenager depends on many reasons: the character of the child, the attitude of parents, friends, peers to him, living conditions, etc. Therefore, the manifestations of adolescent rebellion can be very different - from periodic harsh answers to a question or remark to absolutely immoral behavior or cruelty.
The main forms of manifestation of aggressive behavior in adolescents:
- Physical form of aggression … It sets itself the goal of causing harm, pain, damage. Here, both inanimate objects and living beings can act as a victim. It manifests itself in the form of hooliganism, vandalism on various scales - from smashing dishes at home to destruction of amenities (monuments, benches, bus stops, etc.). In the worst case, aggression is directed at people, animals. This is the most dangerous form of adolescent aggression, since adolescents have not yet fully formed the concept of responsibility, including for someone else's life.
- Verbal form of aggressive behavior … A lighter manifestation of adolescent protest, but no less harmless. Because even verbal abuse and humiliation from other children can have dire consequences for the child's psyche. Verbal aggression can manifest itself in the form of arguments, denial, foul language, criticism of other people, threats, ridicule, malicious jokes, manifestations of hatred and resentment.
- Expressive form of aggression … It manifests itself in brightly colored "tones", that is, in the form of physical movements (gestures, blows), pronounced facial expressions (grimaces, displeased facial expressions) and / or verbal expressions in raised tones or in the form of non-normative vocabulary.
- Direct aggression … In this case, all the negativity of the adolescent is directed at a certain object, which causes these very negative feelings in him. She can be expressed physically and verbally.
- Indirect form of aggressive behavior … This is a form when for some troubles, setbacks or just a bad mood of a teenager, his environment “pays off” - things, objects, people, animals.
- Hidden aggression … A protest that manifests itself in the form of ignoring requests and comments. In this case, the child is absolutely calm, but at the same time does not hear what is being said to him. And if he hears, he is in no hurry to carry out.
Ways to combat teenage aggression
The method of overcoming adolescent aggression will depend primarily on the specific case - the characteristics of the child himself, the degree and type of aggression and the reason that caused it. Therefore, the approach to solving such a problem should be purely individual. However, there are several universal rules of parenting behavior that will help not only correct the situation, but can also be used as preventive measures to prevent aggressive behavior in a teenager.
The most effective tips for parents on how to cope with teenage aggression on their own:
- Reconsider your parenting criteria and behavior: it is often mistakes in the educational process or behavioral habits of parents that become the main reason for rebellious behavior in teenagers. Remember, no matter how your child speaks about you, you are his main reference point. If you want to make it better, start with yourself. Be a positive example.
- Be discreet and tolerant. Maintaining self-control even in the most critical situation in a family where there is a problem teenager can "kill two birds with one stone." First, a calm and judicious analysis of the situation does not give an additional reason for aggression from the teenager. Secondly, this way of solving the problem shows the teenager that forceful methods are far from the only option to effectively resolve conflicts.
- Give your child the freedom to make decisions and be responsible for them. Of course, this advice also has its own nuances - such freedom should not become absolute. You as adults, experienced people still need to filter out safe solutions that can be “skipped” and unsafe solutions that could harm your child.
- Become your troubled teen's best friend. It is quite natural that not all children have an ideal set of qualities - intelligence, beauty, health, strength, ingenuity, talent. Therefore, support in your growing person exactly what he has. Praise him, support his endeavors, celebrate his achievements, analyze mistakes and failures. And don't just talk - spend more time with him outside the house. Organize joint recreation and leisure, support his hobbies, involve him in socially useful affairs, foster respect for elders.
- Wrap its bubbling energy back on track. Try to find something to do for your rebel that will help redirect his riot into a positive vector - hobbies, hobbies, sports, dancing, music, etc. Ideally, this should be done in conjunction with the teenager himself. Find an alternative that will rip him out of the Internet or the influence of a bad company. And it is possible that the first attempt at transforming adolescent energy will be successful. But this is not a reason to stop.
- Be sincere. Teenagers are extremely sensitive, therefore they feel insincerity subtly. Do not forget that inattention to your child in adolescence can subsequently significantly complicate not only his life, but also the lives of people who are nearby. Including the parents themselves. Children in adolescence see themselves as adults, so treat and talk to them exactly as you would to adults of your own age.
Important! If the level of aggression has reached a critical level or all attempts to return the child to the status of "good" have failed, seek help from a specialist. Do not waste time - teenage aggression does not arise and does not go away on its own.
How to get rid of teenage aggression - watch the video:
Aggressive behavior in adolescents is a marker of distress in some area of a child's life. And it's hard enough to fight it. Therefore, you need to listen and participate in the life of your child even before puberty. For a child who feels like a full-fledged member of the family and society as a whole, loved, needed, capable, self-confident, aggression in behavior will be simply unacceptable.
