Family partnerships and deciphering this concept. The pros and cons of such a democratic marriage. Family partnerships are a rather unusual way for ordinary people to organize their personal life. With him, communication in a pair occurs on an equal footing, which allows you to quickly resolve any emerging conflict. However, one should not rush to conclusions that we are talking about an ideal family. Any marriage implies the presence of many pitfalls, the danger of which must be dealt with.
What is family partnerships
The most traditional family models are matriarchy and patriarchy. In the first variant of building relationships in marriage, the woman dominates. She rules both openly and in a veiled form. Under patriarchy, roles change, because in the family everything is decided by the man. Partnership implies complete equality when the spouses plan their joint life together. Some skeptics believe that in such a family there are no warm feelings and everything is based on a banal calculation. However, this opinion is very superficial, because a marriage in a voiced format is often strong and happy. First of all, we are talking about an alliance between individuals that took place emotionally.
One of the most worthy examples of such a relationship is the marriage of Fyodor Dostoevsky and his wife Anna. It was with mutual respect that their romance began, which lasted 14 years until the death of the great writer.
The organization of such communication between a husband and wife occurs according to a certain scheme:
- Round table meeting … Before starting a life together, you need to take time to talk to each other in a relaxed atmosphere. At the same time, communication should take place between spouses without interfering with the dialogue of representatives of the older generation of the family.
- Distribution of duties … In this case, it is recommended to come to a general agreement by examining the strengths and weaknesses of the husband and wife. A representative of the sterner sex can also stand at the stove, if he is able to cook delicious dishes. His wife, having a personal transport, is quite capable of loading food from the cart into the car without the help of the other half.
- Discussion of the rights and freedoms of partners … The voiced question should be unequivocally put on the agenda at the beginning of a married life. It is because of the disagreement that most quarrels and scenes of jealousy occur in him. It is necessary to initially provide for the inviolability of each other's personal space, but taking into account the absence of a fertile ground for free relations without obligations.
- Voicing of all current problems … After all the main aspects of the partnership have been identified, it should be agreed that any crisis situation that has arisen should be discussed at the family council without fail.
It is according to this scheme that partnerships are formed. They are also called horizontal, because in such a cell of society there is no control of one spouse over the other.
Pros and cons of partnerships
Before planning your family life, you need to consider the advantages and disadvantages of the chosen marriage behavior. Gender equality made it possible to forget about the homebuilding to which our ancestors were accustomed. Therefore, you need to think about a democratic approach when creating a family.
Benefits of partnerships
The obvious advantages of such a marriage include the following aspects that make it a happy union of a man and a woman:
- Responsibility for relationships … If everything is agreed upon in advance, then serious conflicts rarely arise in such a family. Usually, partnerships are chosen by people who have taken place as individuals and have a certain life experience. Consequently, they will be aware of the importance of their marriage, while protecting their love and understanding.
- No power struggle … In a family where there is no pronounced leader, none of the spouses will try to assert themselves at the expense of their partner. Democracy is the foundation of such a relationship, which is reasonably good in some cases.
- Creation of trust … If the couple constantly discusses all the burning issues, then this fact contributes to the elimination of secrets and omissions between the spouses. Only if there is trust will a marriage last for many years, even if the passion has cooled down.
- No quarrels over trifles … When serious things are discussed in advance, there is simply no conflict over trifles. Statistics say that out of ten marriages, six later break up. Half of these sad life stories concern divorces due to the inability to get along when solving an insignificant issue.
- A correct example for children … In a family dominated by the dictates of mom or dad, a happy child rarely grows up. The harmonious relationship of parents instills confidence in their offspring. Such children usually make excellent husbands and wives in the future.
Attention! Any family becomes a role model if love, trust and mutual respect reign in it. It is the described relations that fully correspond to such a high bar.
Disadvantages of partnerships
However, not always everything looks rosy when it comes to the union of two loving hearts. The development of partnerships can be detrimental to harmony in a couple for the following reasons:
- Difficult moments in negotiations … Quite often it is easier to say than to put your words into practice. There are kindred souls in the world, but there are no people who think in the same way. It can be difficult, and sometimes impossible, to come to a compromise when drafting a family charter.
- Different temperaments of the spouses … It is more difficult for a choleric person to build partnerships than a phlegmatic person who is cold on emotions. The melancholic is prone to emotional breakdowns, which can also prevent him from establishing contact with a partner. If a couple is quite satisfied with a different model of building a family, then experimenting is not worth it.
- Different approach to budget planning … Some people base their thoughts on this on the example of their own parents. In their families, the immutable law was the solution of all financial issues by one of the parents. With this reasoning, the couple may break up if it comes to partnerships.
- Unseen circumstances … In case of equality in decision-making, the couple should be consulted on each issue. However, life often dictates such conditions that it can be difficult to do this when a problem suddenly arises. The habit of being one with your partner in all thoughts can play a cruel joke in a critical situation.
Contraindications to family partnerships
There are couples in whom such zeal will definitely end in divorce. It will not be possible to become a full partner with people with the following behavior model and character warehouse:
- Authoritarian personalities … For such persons, the word "equality" is an absurd definition of the relationship between a man and a woman. It is almost impossible to convince people with such a position. A person who is accustomed to obeying a dictator from childhood will feel more or less comfortable next to them.
- Adherents of the traditional family … The very notion of "partnership" will cause a fierce protest from them. According to them, in the family, dad is a breadwinner, king and God. It is his decisions that must be the ultimate truth, to which the wife and children must listen.
- Parasitic people … Such persons do not need partnerships at all, which imply mutual responsibility to each other. They are quite happy to be dependents, even if they are limited in expressing their own opinions.
- Erratic people … This is especially true of hysterical ladies who, exclusively through scandals, try to defend their point of view. Even a calm conversation annoys them, because they cannot get rid of their quarrelsomeness.
- Lovelier men … They cleverly turn partnerships into licentiousness in the presence of a legal spouse. They have enough cynicism to tell her that she can afford an affair on the side. This family model is clearly not suitable for such dubious pleasure seekers. They should not at all marry and make the woman they like unhappy.
Family partnership rules
When planning a life together, you must adhere to the following aspects of a democratic relationship:
- Respect for each other … In most cases, women experience discrimination. The days of matriarchy are long gone, so rarely a lady takes a leading position in the house. An exceptionally successful business woman can afford to be a leader with a husband who has not taken place in life. A partnership is about equality when both spouses respect each other. One of them may lose his job, which should not affect the microclimate in a couple.
- Show interest in a partner … In the evenings, psychologists advise making it a tradition to publish small reports about the day lived. At the same time, they should not turn into interrogation with addiction. Spouses who are really dear to each other will always be interested in the affairs of their other half.
- Eradication of jealousy … In this case, one recalls the legendary words of Caesar, who responded to the accusations against his wife that she was always above suspicion. It is trust that should form the basis of partnerships.
- Finding a common goal … The tandem of loving hearts will disintegrate if the spouses do not have similar views on life. Without planning a joint future, there can be no talk of any partnership. Such a family model presupposes not only equality, but also a clear understanding of the prospects for the development of relations.
- Dialogue contact … If a monologue is constantly present in conversations, then we are talking about patriarchy or matriarchy. People need to hear each other in order to understand the needs of a loved one. Dialogue on equal terms is the basis of partnership.
- Financial equity … People who strive for unity of thought in marriage should maintain a common family budget. Ideally, it is recommended to contribute all the money earned to it, and then jointly decide where and for what purposes to distribute them.
- A unified approach to parenting … In partnership relations, it is important to correctly treat the pedagogical influence on the younger generation. The requirements of dad and mom in relation to their child should be the same in order to avoid further conflicts on this basis.
The postulates voiced can be slightly changed if the couple came to such a mutual decision. Partnerships do not imply imposing their views on the chosen one on a particular issue. If the spouses decide to put the same amount of money in the common pot with different incomes, then this is solely their decision.
If a couple has a chance to create a democratic family, then psychologists can suggest spouses to use the following exercises:
- "Ice and Fire" … For its implementation, the husband and wife are given markers, pens and sheets of paper. The essence of the assignment is to voice 10 character traits of a person who can be called an exemplary family man on one side of the sheet. In the second column, spouses should identify the behavior of the person that can destroy the marriage. Then the lists are checked, after which the similar positions in the couple's reasoning are outlined with markers and the result is summed up. It is done in the form of questions from a psychologist regarding what this exercise gave for understanding the democratic model of the family.
- Scenes from life … The specialist offers each of the spouses, with the help of facial expressions and gestures, to show his soul mate any situation in which the husband and wife take part. Themes of such performances should relate directly to partnerships in which there is no diktat.
- Conversation of the blind with the deaf … This exercise is quite difficult to perform, but it brings excellent results. One of the spouses puts earplugs into their ears, and the other blindfolds. In this case, the couple needs to discuss in this state the nearest plans for the future.
The voiced exercises help spouses learn to focus on their partner and develop empathic empathy for them. What is family partnerships - see the video:
A partnership between a woman and a man is a mutual desire of the spouses to maintain trust and love in the family. Each couple has the right to decide for themselves how to arrange their life. Statistics show that some spouses cannot accept an equal partnership and break up after a year, and some meet old age together.
