Myths about family life and their debunking. The article will voice the most common misconceptions about how a marriage relationship should look. Family myths are idle reflections on how partners should behave in a marriage in relation to each other. It is such false conclusions that often prevent a couple from understanding each other, which can ultimately lead to divorce. The article will debunk the myths about family life, which in reality are not confirmed by anything.
There are no quarrels in an ideal family
Watching some spouses, sometimes you are amazed by the fact that they have a complete idyll in a couple. However, a husband and wife may simply not wash dirty linen in public, and, outside the observation of the public, violently sort things out with each other. At the same time, lovers quickly reconcile and forget past grievances. The presence of conflicts in the family does not at all mean that the marriage is not stable and there is a threat of divorce. This is especially true for the first three years of life together, when there is a kind of grinding in to each other. Psychologists are worried about couples where there is no disagreement. Experts believe that in this case there are no real feelings between the spouses and everyone lives by their own interests.
Partners understand each other perfectly
To live up to this myth, you need to be at least a telepathic or psychic. All people are different both in their mindset and in temperament. It is impossible to constantly be aware of what the partner wants at the moment. If at the same time he does not voice his desires, then a wall of alienation and misunderstanding of each other arises between the husband and wife. It is realistic to predict certain thoughts of a soul mate, but not a single person is able to fully read them.
There are no secrets in an ideal family
Sometimes it is better to remain silent than to ruin an existing relationship with a careless word. Such a statement does not at all mean that you need to lie to your loved one. Truth is only good if it doesn't harm anyone. Consequently, some secrets from the second half (for her good) will not interfere.
Sex can be postponed until later
It is possible to postpone it for an indefinite date, but at the risk of losing your partner forever. It is not every day that people feel capable of having sex. However, it is necessary to explain to your husband or wife the true reason for such a refusal. A loving person will calmly take such a postponement, and with an egoist it is not worth building a relationship further.
It is necessary to separate male and female responsibilities
The times of the rules of family life according to "Domostroy" are long gone. Equality should be the foundation of any family that wants to maintain their relationship to a ripe old age. It is necessary to distribute responsibilities around the house in such a way that everyone does what he does best. A man will not be ashamed to cook borscht if his wife cooks it much worse. A spouse can hammer in the same nail if her faithful does not know how to properly hold a hammer in his hands.
The spouses must have a common interest in everything
It should be remembered once and for all: no one and no one owes anything in terms of their personal preferences. At the same time, the spouses must definitely hear each other when planning their common leisure. However, you cannot force yourself to do what you don’t want to do. In this case, it will look like self-sacrifice, which will lead to the devaluation of your own “I”.
Having a baby strengthens the marriage
In this case, it is necessary to make some amendment. A baby is able to make the family more united if, before his birth, the couple did not have significant problems in terms of mutual understanding. Otherwise, a broken cup will definitely not be glued together even with the help of such a joyful event. As a result, a woman is left not only without a spouse, but also with a child in her arms.
Married people are deprived of their freedom
It is with this myth that omniscient divorced persons or inveterate bachelors frighten young people. Psychologists hold a different opinion, arguing their point of view quite clearly. A successful marriage is not a shackle in which people are chained, but an equal union of two loving hearts. With full trust in each other, the spouses will adequately treat mutual absences for necessary matters.
Sex becomes conjugal duty in marriage
If people initially did not love each other, then this is how everything will happen. When there is mutual passion in marriage, feelings are further exacerbated. The ability to retire with the desired sexual partner at any time contributes to the normalization of sexual life. In addition, mutual trust between spouses allows them to go on the most daring experiments in sex without fear of the negative consequences of such behavior.
Perfect marriage is a boring haven
Some skeptics see family life this way. Psychologists disagree with this point of view. Ordinary and routine can absorb the consciousness of even a person who is not married. It all depends on the people themselves who plan their own lives. If a husband and wife are interested in each other, then gray everyday life will not come to their family and there will be no bitterness towards a partner about this.
Marriage kills romance
The flower-candy period does not last long enough. Some people who want to formalize their relationship are afraid of this very factor. Family myths are based on the prejudice that after the last echoes of Mendelssohn's waltz, one should not expect pleasant surprises from each other. The fortress has been taken, and there is no point in continuing to storm it. At the same time, people with such an opinion forget that you need to work on relationships on a daily basis in order to avoid the separation of the couple. You can, if you wish, extend the flower-candy period for years, if you have real feelings for your chosen one.
You can not be disappointed in a loved one
Psychologists say that sometimes it is even necessary and very useful. There are no ideal people, so it is worth taking off your rose-colored glasses in advance. Before marriage, a couple in love tries to show each other their most positive character traits. After a momentous event, there may be a phase of disappointment in a person who seemed ideal before. You should not be afraid with such an anxious feeling, because many people in marriage experience the same feelings.
They do not part with loved ones for a minute
Such a grandiloquent phrase has become a dogma for many gullible people. Long-term breakups really negatively affect relationships, which need to be constantly fed with new emotions. However, short absences can be beneficial for a couple who are together on a daily basis. It is necessary to respect the personal space of the partner and provide him with the opportunity to sometimes spend time outside the family hearth.
Jealousy is the basis of real feelings
The feeling of possessiveness has nothing to do with real love emotions. Believing in the purity of your partner's thoughts is the foundation for building strong relationships. Jealousy tends to exclusively destroy, not create. Both spouses should remember this, not writing off their consumer attitude towards the chosen one for the fear of losing him.
Marriage is the pinnacle of relationships
This opinion is usually held by the fair sex. For them, the coveted ring on the finger means that their personal life is a success and there is no need to strain anymore. In fact, marriage is the beginning of a difficult path that can really be overcome exclusively together and with the help of common efforts. The culmination of the union of two loving hearts is not a painting in the registry office, but a strong and stable family.
A woman is a housewife, a man is a breadwinner
The myth of such a plan is popular not only among people of eastern nationality. From the point of view of patriarchy, this concept implies finding a woman at home without the right to career growth. The modern lady will definitely disagree with the voiced order of things, because such a stereotype has long been destroyed by feminists. There is nothing wrong with a lady earning more than a man. Everyone must fulfill the function available to him in order for the family to prosper financially.
Marriage must take place at a mature age
In this case, I recall the famous film "You Never Dreamed of", after watching which there will be no stone unturned from such a myth. It doesn't matter at what age the desire to marry legally came. It all depends on the emotional maturity of the couple in love and their similarity in views on family life.
In case of a quarrel, it is best to disperse to different rooms
After the conflict, some couples defiantly slam the doors of different bedrooms. They argue for such actions by the fact that you cannot go to bed with a person who offended you. A quarrel is a quarrel, therefore, with a small pick with sarcastic words between a husband and wife, you should not follow the advice of the voiced myth. Very often, during awakening, loving hearts forgive each other for all the barbs said on the eve.
Sometimes it is worth punishing by refusing to have sex
It should be immediately announced that such a tactic is the first step to betraying a partner and divorce. The clarification of the essence of the conflict cannot be transferred to sexual relations in a couple. There will always be a more agreeable candidate on the side who will be able to destroy the marriage. If there is a serious disagreement, you can refuse to caress your partner, but this should not become the norm.
Civil marriage is identical to the official one
Thus, women calm themselves, whose partners are in no hurry to legitimize the existing relationship. The reasons for such a decision may be very different, but the fact still remains a fact. A loving man is always ready to give his last name to a woman who is really dear to him. The rest of the arguments on his part are simply the desire to have a permanent partner nearby without any obligations.
You can not let strangers into the family
To some extent, such a warning is worth heeding. However, the fear that a friend (friend) will take a loved one away from the family is devoid of logic. If there is mutual understanding in a couple and there is no sexual promiscuity, then you should not be afraid of this kind of betrayal.
The family must be built according to someone else's positive example
It is always not too late to learn, but it is not recommended to try on someone else's carbon copy for your own life. Some young couples try to build their relationships based on a beautiful picture of their parents' marriage. At the same time, they do not realize the fact that their dad and mom could be in long quarrels with the door of the matrimonial bedroom closed. It is necessary to build your relationship based on three factors: intuition, observation and analysis of the behavior of a loved one.
Everything can be forgiven to keep the family together
You can only step over your “I” if your loved ones are in real danger. In a different situation, it is very difficult to forget the insult that caused significant mental trauma. If there is no strength to cope with this pain, then psychologists advise to leave. It is not recommended to preserve the family artificially, because the couple will still break up in the future.
A marriage contract is not acceptable with true love
Some people believe that in a passionate relationship, a couple should not have mercantile thoughts. However, haste is only good for catching fleas. Creating a new family implies a serious approach to such an event. The marriage contract becomes the key to honest financial relations.
Over the years, love goes away
In the case of an unstable relationship, feelings can disappear literally a year after marriage. In a different situation, passion eventually subsides a little, but more stable emotions come to replace it - trust and confidence in the future next to your trusted partner.
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Myths about family life are created on the basis of speculation, rumors and someone else's bad personal experience. Believe them or not is a personal matter for each person. It should be remembered that prejudice often destroys a harmonious relationship in a couple. Therefore, you need to heed the advice of this article in order to save your marriage.
