Domestic violence by women and the nature of its education. The article will discuss the voiced fact with accompanying recommendations from specialists to resolve the unacceptable situation that has arisen. Female domestic violence is aggressive behavior towards others, relatives and friends. This is a topic that has ceased to be exclusively a subject for anecdotes and jokes. It can occur both in relation to men and in the direction of children, which makes this issue quite relevant. Gone are the days when only the term "male violence" was selectively voiced by psychologists. Therefore, it is necessary to understand the essence of such a problem, which introduces disharmony in relationships within the family.
Mechanism of the emergence of female domestic violence
Disagreements between relatives do not arise out of nothing, because everything is preceded by certain stages in the development of a conflict situation.
Psychologists identify the following stages of the introduction of female violence into the family and its further prosperity there:
- Psychological attack … At the initial stage of pressure and manipulation, the dictator in the person of the fair sex begins to look for various flaws of a psychological and physical nature in his victim. Usually, in this case, an attack begins according to the scheme of systematic pressure of the emotionally weaker partner, who cannot withstand such manipulations over time.
- Setting guilt feelings … It is almost impossible to develop this complex in a self-sufficient person with strong convictions. Only in a very critical situation, a strong-willed person can become a hostage of such psychological discomfort if she considers herself involved in the misfortune of people close to her. In other cases, it is quite easy for a domestic dictator to develop feelings of guilt while managing the feelings of the follower. Usually, she chooses for her partners a balanced, calm person, incapable of a defensive response due to upbringing or personal beliefs.
- Substitution of ideals … With the sounded formulation, one immediately recalls the famous poem by Vladimir Mayakovsky "What is good and what is bad." The main character of this rather instructive work received adequate answers from the Pope to all his questions regarding the norms of existing morality. A tyrant woman is sometimes completely uninterested in the emotional excitement of the chosen victim from the closest environment to her. It is important for her to clearly indicate to the object of persecution that everything that happens to him is a generally accepted norm that occurs in every respectable family.
- Destruction of personality … At the last stage of punitive actions, women with the grip of a bulldog consolidate the effect of the previously announced educational measures. The famous phrase from the movie "The Diamond Arm" that the client has matured does not seem so funny in the voiced situation. From that moment on, the weak person begins to perceive female violence as the norm, and the stronger one simply files for divorce.
All stages of launching the mechanism of such a negative situation indicate that at any moment they can really be nipped in the bud. Only amorphous persons or defenseless children are unable to withstand this pressure from an aggressive dictator.
Types of female domestic violence
Tyranny on the part of the fair sex can have various manifestations. Psychologists distinguish four types of this phenomenon, which look like this:
- Psychological abuse … The very name of a woman's deviant behavior suggests that it will be about suppressing the personality of her partner. Violence of this kind can be expressed in public insult to your spouse, as well as mockery of him in private and in an intimate setting. At the same time, literally everything is criticized: the type of activity of a close man, his addictions and preferences, achievements, and even the slightest mistakes are ridiculed. A commanding tone with a touch of arrogance is the usual style of communication between an emotional vampire and his victim. At the same time, the husband is strictly forbidden to take offense and have his own opinion, which is initially voiced as incorrect. Women of this type are very jealous and can literally arrange spying on their soul mate.
- Economic violence … Money manipulation also often happens when the issue of domestic violence by a woman is discussed. Such actions can take place both in relation to a spouse and in relation to children in a family of such a plan. For the slightest offense, the mother deprives the child of pocket expenses for the same school lunches or inexpensive entertainment. She can spend a child allowance or her child's pension exclusively for her own needs, infringing on the rights of a small person. In relation to a man, an overbearing spouse is able to take even tougher measures, taking from the poor guy all the money he earned to the last penny. The wretched woman has to beg from her soulmate for a change for travel, a pack of cigarettes and a glass of beer once a year with friends.
- Physical violence … As crazy as it sounds, some fragile creatures are not at all so in reality. In this case, I recall the well-known anecdote that the lady does not care which side of the Uzbek husband's skullcap. When solving family issues, gentle nymphs sometimes turn into evil furies, who use all the heavy objects at hand against their spouse. Domestic crimes have become so widespread that a wife who, in a fit of anger, has killed her partner is no longer a shock to the public.
- Sexual assault … In this case, some people will shrug their hands in amazement, considering the voiced question to be an unreal phenomenon. Female violence against men within the family can sometimes be so bizarre that it can amaze even seasoned psychotherapists. Representatives of the stronger sex are not always in excellent physical shape for a long intimate marathon. In addition, the partner may stop being attracted to them as a sexual object, which often happens in a mature couple. In some situations, at the same time, elementary blackmail is used, when the predator does not intend to lose her spouse because of his "whims".
Characteristics of a Woman Organizing Domestic Violence
A lady with such aggressive inclinations is difficult to calculate only for the reason that she can be sweet and benevolent outside the flare-up of a family conflict. However, the inner circle calculates a woman-despot according to the following criteria, which are almost impossible not to notice:
- Tight control over family members … Caring for people dear to you is normal behavior if everything is kept within adequate limits. A woman who is prone to violence towards her husband or children will try to limit their personal space to a minimum. Over time, this pattern of behavior can acquire a manic character of persecution of the dear victim. Usually it appears in the unwillingness to accept the friends of the children at home, the prohibition on visiting their other people's families. The husband, in principle, rarely lets go for a walk on his own, monitoring every step of his every minute.
- Low or high self-esteem … A person who sees all his merits and demerits will stick to the golden mean when analyzing himself as a person. Female violence is often observed in those families where a lady either thinks too highly of herself, or asserts herself at the expense of others due to her existing inferiority complexes. Sometimes, violence can occur in women who copy their mother's behavior or have been abused by their father.
- Increased emotionality … Even periodic tantrums really bring your soul mate to white heat. Men try to avoid such women, so we can assume that divorce in such families is not far off. The psychological violence of the announced plan is not the norm, although some ladies disguise it under the whims of the weaker sex.
- Excessive aggressiveness … Cruelty has not yet painted a single person, and when characterizing the keeper of the family hearth, it is generally unacceptable. Some women like to use physical force against their children or spouse. In the first case, they take advantage of the fact that a child cannot resist an adult. In another situation, licentiousness of this kind comes from the belief that a man in return will not dare to raise his hand against his supposedly weak soul mate. If he suddenly dares to fight back, then afterwards he will severely regret what he had done, because the other half will tell and show traces of cruel treatment to everyone and everyone, modestly keeping silent about their "exploits".
- Duality of character … There is a category of women who, in the literal sense of the word, periodically falls into various extremes. Amazons with a similar pattern of behavior can offend their spouse or even hit him, and after a minute they scatter in apologies. Very often this is observed in ladies who like to have a glass or two or have problems in the emotional sphere. Often they have hormonal disruptions, which provokes inappropriate behavior.
- Failure to apologize … A woman who often becomes the initiator and active participant in family scandals is then unable to apologize for her inappropriate behavior. She considers herself right in everything that happens in her family, shifting the burden of responsibility onto the shoulders of a weak-willed partner.
- Excessive suspicion … In addition to constantly monitoring their victim, such detectives accuse the spouse or children of all mortal sins. An innocent SMS message can acquire such a hidden meaning for neurotic women that everything ends with another outburst of aggression on their part towards the “guilty” family member.
- Depressive psychosis … Psychologists consider this manifestation of female violence in the home environment to be the most dangerous. A woman with a voiced problem can cause significant harm to her loved ones. She is not able to control herself, therefore, in some cases, urgent help from a psychiatrist is needed.
The listed symptoms may not be so pronounced, which makes the fact of female violence in the family invisible to others. At the same time, it becomes most terrible for the children, because they are not in a position to turn around in a conflict and get away from the dictator, like their father who has lost patience.
Methods to Combat Female Domestic Violence
It is necessary to deal with the sounded phenomenon, because it can turn into a serious family problem. The unbelted young lady must be stopped so that she does not destroy the existing relationship with her own hands and does not lose the love of her offspring.
Protection from female violence by the injured party
A man must urgently stop aggressive behavior on the part of his wife in relation to himself or children. Experts recommend taking the following educational measures to the tyrant so that she understands all the wrongness of her actions:
- Announcement of the possibility of divorce … Very many women are able to cool this verdict of their spouse, which was said calmly, but in a rather categorical form. If there is love in the family in such a strange manifestation, then the lady will be afraid of the fact that her chosen one wants to go to a more adequate rival. Next time, she will think hard before committing psychological, financial or physical violence towards her partner.
- Leaving the family … If the above sounded method did not make the proper impression on the presumptuous spouse, then you should act decisively and uncompromisingly. It's just that threats of a complete breakdown of relations can lose all the acuteness of their significance if they are periodic and unconfirmed actions. Sometimes it is better to take a break from each other so that a woman feels the whole reality of being alone because of her inappropriate behavior.
- Developing your own autonomy … The personal space of any person should definitely be inviolable. Studying the correspondence on the phone is not a cute prank and increased curiosity of the spouse, but one hundred percent penetration into someone else's territory. Such indulgence will lead to promiscuity of the second half, which will only try to further tighten its control. Therefore, in a rather categorical form, it is necessary to put all the dots over the "Y" in this issue.
- Removing litter from the hut … It is not worth complaining about your wife in case of personal disagreements, because it will not look like a man. However, you can try to seek advice from a person who has authority in the eyes of the house tyrant. In the most correct form, you should share the situation with a relative or mutual acquaintance and ask to voice the ways of its possible resolution.
- Final breakup … In some especially critical situations, it is simply impossible to save a family where the voiced factor occurs. The task of a man in this case is to protect himself and his children from the attacks of an aggressive object in the form of a wife. A child who gets used to such a family environment will never build harmonious relationships in the future. The ideal way out is caring with children. Tyrants rarely change, they simply “feed” on the negative emotions of their relatives, not wanting to leave them alone or change themselves and hurt them.
Correction of the behavior of a tyrant woman to preserve the family
In some cases, the fair sex herself is able to solve the situation that has arisen, which threatens to become critical in the near future. The following tactics will help her in this, which, according to psychologists, gives tangible results:
- Deep analysis of your actions … If you do not thoroughly deal with yourself, then there will be no sense from such actions. A woman who wants to save her marriage or regain the trust of her children, intimidated by her behavior, must step by step control the situation. In some cases, this method works, because the fear of losing a family can turn a scandalous lady into a shrewd and wise person.
- Self-discipline … No one has yet been hindered by the desire to finally pull themselves together and just become a happy person. The family should not suffer from the fact that the woman has an obnoxious character or periodically progresses to a bad mood. If the love for your spouse has passed, then it is better to just let him go in search of new happiness. When the passion for the chosen one is still alive in the heart of a wayward person, then it would not hurt her to keep her excessive emotions in check.
- Specialist help … The advice of an experienced therapist can often help save the family in the most rational way. There are many techniques in which a woman is taught to respond correctly to life situations, when a certain provocative factor causes her outburst of aggression. To begin with, she will have to not only learn how to manage her anger, but also refuse to use swear words, aggressive statements towards loved ones.
Watch a video on female violence:
Female violence against children or spouse is unacceptable for any respectable family. You cannot assert yourself at someone else's expense, because masochistic men are not so often met. Ultimately they will leave such a woman, then trying to protect their children from her harmful influences with the help of social services.
