The love triangle and the phases of its development. The article will discuss the reasons and possible ways out of such a life situation. A love triangle is something that can bring a smile solely when watching a comic movie. In reality, such a situation causes a lot of inconvenience, sometimes bringing significant mental pain to the participants in a tangled love story. If one of the victims of such a triangle is determined to get out of the vicious circle, then you should figure out how to do this without prejudice to the psychological state of the injured party.
The mechanism of development of a love triangle
The trio functions well only in a musical ensemble, when all its members successfully complement each other. Otherwise, life in a love triangle resembles a roller coaster ride or the same Russian Roulette.
The mechanism for the development of such a phenomenon is quite simple and looks like this:
- Maturing problems as a couple … Many will agree that the situation did not just happen, it always has a foundation. If two people love each other and value their relationship, then they will not allow an outsider to interfere with their idyll. The exceptions are inveterate Don Juans and windy ladies with free outlooks on life, who do not see anything reprehensible in the emergence of the described triangle.
- Exchange of fluids with a potential partner … It's no secret that we all initially begin to look closely at each other, relying on the physiological aspects of the emergence of sympathy. Then, for the development of feelings, it is necessary to reinforce it with common interests and views, which is not always a prerequisite for an outbreak of passion for a new object of adoration.
- The fact of treason … After a prolonged or more accelerated version of the exchange of meaningful glances with a new partner, a sounded phenomenon may occur. The victim of a love triangle often remains in a long ignorance of what happened, because all deceived individuals are often blind and naive.
- The consequences of treason … At the same time, I recall the film by Georgy Danelia "Autumn Marathon", in which the main character was never able to solve the problem with women close to him. A love triangle usually ends either with a complete breakdown of the previous relationship, or acceptance of the fact of treason by the injured party.
In any case, the mechanism for the development of non-standard relations leads to the fact that it is necessary over time to make a decision to eliminate the conflict. If the problem is ignored, there is a risk of the formation of the so-called point of no return, at which the future of all members of the formed trio will be endangered.
The causes of the love triangle
In the presence of any extreme situation, it is necessary to understand the factors provocateurs of its occurrence. Relationships in a love triangle begin to develop under the following conditions:
- Illusion of love … If there are no deep feelings for your partner, then there is a high probability of flirting on the side. At first, flirting with a person outside of a couple seems like an exciting adventure that excites the blood and gives thrill. However, things can go too far when cheating already becomes a serious threat to an established couple. It cannot be said with all certainty that a secret affair will end in a stable relationship. Hence, it must be remembered that it is easier to destroy than to create a relationship when making the final decision.
- Different interests … Any relationship is always based on the unity of thoughts and desires. The hypothesis of the attraction of two opposites has some logical implication, but people of different spirit will quickly get tired of each other. Therefore, there is a high probability of finding a partner on the side to compensate for spiritual loneliness.
- Disrespectful attitude towards your partner … No one will hold on to a relationship where aggression of any kind is manifested in the existing couple. It is natural for a person to look for a place where he will be comfortable. If he finds the desired island of tranquility, then without hesitation he becomes an active participant in the love triangle.
- Revenge … In this case, one of the partners can in a similar way recoup the feelings of a loved one for a variety of reasons. Perhaps the jealous person suspected his soul mate of treason, which he invented for himself. With the obvious fact of flirting on the side, the injured party triggers the avenger instinct, which is a rather expected reaction to what is happening.
- Sexual promiscuity … In this case, we are talking about a spontaneous and random love triangle. At the same time, there is no need to talk about deep feelings, because additional partners in a pair change with enviable regularity. The question arises solely about how all the participants in the protracted swinger party react to what is happening.
- Age crisis … In this case, the conversation will focus on the so-called prolongation of youth, which is often an illusory phenomenon. One of the partners begins to change dramatically, causing amazement to his other half. Sometimes it comes to complete absurdity when Don Juan begins to openly rejuvenate after starting a relationship with his mistress. A woman of post-balzac age can also be carried away by a less mature partner, trying to feel like a young charm again.
- Compensation for your own inferiority … Such people may have a caring spouse, but they have little awareness of love on the part of only one person. Everywhere they see a conspiracy and the disapproval of others, which makes the unfortunate one take a love interest outside the existing relationship.
- Henpecked protest … If in a couple a woman suppresses her chosen one, then over time he may have a desire to take a secret revenge. An emotionally weak man begins to look for a partner who will appreciate and respect him.
Important! Psychologists advise to prevent the occurrence of a love triangle with wise decisions and actions. It is easier to neutralize the problem at the initial stage than to fight it courageously later.
Varieties of a love triangle
Psychologists, after a detailed study of the voiced question, offer the following classification of the resulting trio in relationships:
- Acting love triangle … This situation arises when the organizer of the incident, having two partners, values both of them. Consequently, in this case, it is possible to state the fact of a strong feeling for several people. This happens quite rarely, since there is an excellent expression that if a person loves two at once, then he does not love anyone.
- Illusory love triangle … With this pattern of behavior, partners are emotionally and physically attached to each other, but one of them has a platonic relationship on the side. In most cases, this is expressed in friendship with a member of the opposite sex, in which an outside admirer dreams of breaking up an already existing couple.
- By mutual agreement … In some families, it is practiced to have another partner in parallel, which is not nonsense for lovers of free relationships. At the same time, everyone is happy with everything, and in such couples there is no place for jealousy. The love quadrangle already helps them add passion to traditional marriage, so the presence on the side of the subject of adoration is clearly voiced and negotiated.
- Paradoxical love triangle … There is a contingent of people who need treason like air. At the same time, they assess their actions as quite adequate, because, according to their logic, life is given to a person once. Intrigue, jealousy, tears and suffering are the basis of such a marriage, which can exist for a long time with a loyal attitude of partners to what is happening.
- Career love triangle … It is not always a sudden passion that pushes people to cheat. In some cases, we are talking about cold calculation, when a person clearly sees the benefits of an affair with an influential partner. He does not consider such a fact a betrayal, because he does everything, in his opinion, for the good of the basic relationship.
- Financial love triangle … It in some way duplicates interest in terms of promotion, but is based solely on the desire to acquire material goods. If the family does not have the necessary amount of funds for a decent existence, then one of the partners can find a "money bag" outside the established pair.
- Humility of one side … A classic example of such a marriage can be called the family of Valery Zolotukhin, in which the famous actor was able to achieve the tacit consent of his wife to a relationship on the side. Even the birth of a child from a mistress did not destroy the relationship of the voiced couple, who continued to live together. At the same time, no one can clearly identify the feelings of two women in love, who thus shared the attention of their man.
- Repeating love triangle … Lovelaces are resourceful people with a certain charm about seduction of the opposite sex. For them, creating such a life situation is not a problem, because they are always ready to find a partner outside the couple.
All of these cases are very different from each other, because the behavior of people cannot be of the same type. Leo Tolstoy subtly noted that every family is unhappy in its own way. The only question is how the participants themselves perceive the love triangle that has arisen and whether they need help with this.
Ways to get out of a love triangle
If the couple is happy with everything in this situation, then they do not need help. In case of denial of the problem that has arisen, you should figure out how to get out of the love triangle. At the same time, it should be remembered that in addressing the voiced aspect, the gender issue will play an important role as the basis for getting rid of possible negative consequences.
Tips for men to end a hopeless relationship
All people are capable of drastically changing their fate if they are not satisfied with something in the events taking place. A strong half of humanity is often lost in conjecture how to get out of the announced crisis with minimal damage to their psychological state.
Psychologists advise men to take the following steps to destroy the love triangle:
- Choice … This aspect concerns exclusively the instigator of the intimate trio, who has decided to get out of the vicious circle. A wise man is often the leader in relationships, so it is up to him how to deal with his wife and mistress with minimal pain caused to both. This is difficult to do, because it is impossible to make one happy without harming the other woman. However, there is a wise saying that it is cruel to chop a cat's tail piece by piece. Therefore, a real man should make his choice once and for all, and not arrange an autumn marathon in his family.
- Creation of a karmic direction … The head of the family or couple outside of marriage should clearly understand the meaning of the concept voiced. With it, you need to look in one direction, and not at each other. If a man has made his choice, then he must inspire his soul mate that mutual adoration is good only at the initial stage of a relationship. In practice, everything looks a little different, because the joint movement will unite the couple, not allowing them to seek solace on the side.
- Composure … It is too late to pull the hair out on the head, when the life situation has reached an obvious dead end. A man must show by his behavior that he has realized what has happened and is ready to make a final decision. If, at the same time, he is a victim of a love triangle, then you should calmly find out for yourself everything regarding the continuation of relations with your beloved woman. The initiator of treason needs to demonstrate a willingness to put a fat point in the resulting trio with the most correct resolution of the problem.
- Giving up feelings of guilt … The same film "Autumn Marathon" shows a vicious circle in non-standard love relationships. It will not work to be needed by everyone when we are talking about two dear women. It's too late to apologize and reproach yourself, so getting out of the love triangle requires a smart approach to solving the problem.
Tips for women to destroy the love triangle
The fair sex often sees a situation that has arisen from a slightly different perspective than men. Ladies with the created trio endure much longer, because they are instinctively ready for anything to preserve the relationship. However, all patience comes to an end, so women should heed the following expert advice:
- Avoiding blackmail … This method is only good when it is necessary to play on the victim's weaknesses and lure what he wants from her. The plan works for lovers of easy money, but the article of the Criminal Code corresponds to such manipulations. If it comes to amorous affairs, then blackmail can further alienate the changed partner. A woman who is determined to save her marriage for herself should not put pressure on her beloved, hiding behind her diseases and joint children. At the same time, a man can ardently regret his unworthy behavior, immediately deciding to go to a more calm and docile mistress.
- Intimate talk … In this case, it is the woman who will have to take everything into her own hands, because men are often stingy with words. If a representative of the fair sex suspects that she has a very successful rival, then it is necessary to dot the "e". At the same time, hysteria is inappropriate, because it will only give an extra trump card to the husband's mistress. It is necessary to calmly and reasonably find out the cause of the situation that has arisen and come to finding out possible prospects for the future joint future.
- Life goes on … In this case, we are talking about mistresses, whom the environment usually considers to be smart and calculating stealers of someone else's happiness. Popular rumor does not always correspond to the truth, because an outsider in a couple may be the victim of a love triangle. Psychologists advise ladies who are in an illusory perception of reality to pay more attention to their personal lives, diversifying it with trips and acquaintances.
- Rethinking lifestyle … You always need to soberly assess your actions when it comes to maintaining a relationship with your loved one. A woman must be wise in order to always remain desirable for her chosen one. If the partner is not a notorious womanizer, then the reason for his betrayal may lie in a more cunning rival. After rethinking your behavior, it is not problematic to return your lover if the victim of a love triangle is ready to forgive the betrayal.
- Transformation into a female vamp … After evaluating the external data of the rival, some ladies begin to understand their mistakes in choosing an image. If a loved one prefers a similar type of predators, then you need to play along with him. Role-playing situations will only strengthen the relationship, and you should not be a prude.
- André Maurois strategy … The famous work "Letters to a Stranger" is a brilliant example of getting out of the love triangle. However, these recommendations are suitable only for those women who are determined to return their lover. The author described a case when a wife begins to be friends with her mistress, gradually ousting her from the life of her husband.
How to get out of a love triangle - watch the video:
The love triangle is a problem that can go on for many years without a radical solution. If in the created troika there is no resentment about the spicy situation among its members, then you should not give any advice. However, in most cases, living with multiple lovers brings suffering to the affected side. Therefore, it is necessary once and for all to decide for oneself the acceptability of the resulting dangerous triangle.
