Philophobia and signs of its manifestation. The article will discuss a fairly common phenomenon that can cause mental imbalance in a person who seeks a full-fledged relationship. Philophobia is the state of mind of a person when he is ready for a new relationship and a feeling of falling in love, but is afraid to open his heart to someone. Such individuals cannot even have a positive attitude towards the person they like because of their established complexes and stereotypes. Therefore, such people need help so that they can learn the full range of relationships with the opposite sex.
The causes of philophobia
Love is a feeling that arises spontaneously and is not subject to limitations. It is quite difficult to control sympathy for someone, so filophobes are afraid of being in this situation.
Fear of falling in love in people with this pattern of behavior usually arises for the following reasons:
- Depression after breaking up … Not every relationship ends with a happy ending, as the cinema demonstratively imposes on us in the form of "soap" operas. The severing of a love affair can hurt a person's feelings and self-esteem so painfully that it ultimately leads him to a blues and unwillingness to communicate with the opposite sex, even at the level of ordinary flirting.
- Comparison with past relationships … Many people cannot deny themselves the pleasure of associating someone with someone else. The once idealized image of a former lover is able to put an end to the further personal life of the victim, who has created an idol for herself.
- Fear of disappointment … The expression “I myself am glad to be deceived” is clearly not suitable for this case. People who are disappointed in the very concept of "love" will not rush to meet an attractive person. In the most severe cases, they turn into phylophobes, who are afraid to open their soul and heart to someone.
- Fear of Losing Your Self … In most cases, when the problem is voiced, we are talking about outspoken egoists. They are not ready to give their feelings to another person, because they are fixated on their own person. However, a similar fear may arise among people who in past relationships have become victims of a dictator and tyrant.
- Fear of losing freedom … Any person has the right to his personal space, which he protects from unwanted and intrusive intrusion. Inveterate bachelors are often not licentious persons, but convinced filophobes. They do not want to let even a potential partner they like into their life, because they will be afraid of losing their right to free movement.
- Cheating on a loved one … If people are not adherents of swinging and free relationships, then such a betrayal can ruin the whole further personal life of the "cuckold". They will not let anyone into their hearts, because they will be sure that the new chosen one will eventually break their illusions of love again.
- Dysmorphophobia … It is quite simple to calculate self-confident people, as well as to assess the actions of a notorious person. With the voiced mental pathology, a person is dissatisfied with his appearance, which he can show both demonstratively and at a subconscious level. Such a person is clearly sure that it is impossible to fall in love with her, so she later becomes a filophobe in the most striking manifestation of this concept.
- Family circumstances … Even the strongest and most stable couple in their relationship can have many pitfalls. With a rather serious disagreement among such stubborn people, there is a serious danger of separation, which ultimately leads to the emergence of philophobia in partners.
- Betrayal of one of the parents … If dad and mom love each other, then in a family there is rarely a problem of mistrust between its members. If one of the parents leaves it due to a new hobby on the side, the children clearly assimilate the information given to them by life. In the future, they will be afraid of a serious relationship, because they simply do not believe in sincere love and devotion.
- Wrong parenting model … Tyranny in the family is unacceptable, because it can cripple the life of all its members. If one of the partners loves to teach his soul mate to the mind with the help of a caustic word or even a fist, then this will completely destroy the faith in love from the victim of such an educational process.
- Fear of liability … For spenders, such a fact will not be an obstacle to creating new relationships, because they like to spend money on themselves and those around them. However, an inveterate curmudgeon will become an obvious philophobe only because he will be afraid of encroachment on personal savings from even the object he likes.
- Lack of confidence in their abilities … Sometimes a person believes in anything, but not in his own abilities. Some poor fellows are so immersed in sometimes invented complexes that they do not care about the surrounding reality. The very thought of love causes them panic and sharp aggression, because the mechanism is triggered "I am a loser - nothing will work out - leave me alone."
- Tragic loss of a child … If we consider philophobia in this perspective, then this is the most tragic cause of the emergence of the sounded pathology. After the death of a daughter or son, people begin to be afraid to emotionally attach to someone, because the pain of losing a soul mate cannot then be compared with any torture.
- Violence in the past … Forced to have sex with an object who is a stranger and a rather unpleasant person, very often causes deep psychological trauma to the victim of the incident. However, such violence hurts even more if it was committed by a loved one, to whom there was previously respect and trust. As a result, the injured party definitely becomes a phylophobe, because he is afraid to open his soul to someone because of the tragedy that happened.
- Hard principles in love … People of this kind of character consider any manifestation of sincere sympathy simply calf tenderness. Fearing once again to show their true emotions to the person they like, they deprive themselves of the joy of a deep feeling and ultimately turn into filophobes.
The listed reasons indicate that in most cases they arise not through the fault of a person, but as a result of negative events that have occurred. Controlling your life is difficult, but you cannot call it a hopeless event if you want to be happy.
Manifestations of philophobia in humans
People who suffer from the voiced mental illness should not be taught, but saved. However, first you need to understand the question of what a person looks like with this problem.
Psychologists believe that the symptoms of philophobia are manifested as follows:
- Craving for loneliness … People who are afraid of falling in love very often try to retire within their four walls. They may have friends, but communication with the opposite sex will be kept to a minimum.
- Breakup of relations at the initial stage … Filophobes are able to get to know the object they like and even enter into an intimate relationship with it. However, after a fairly short time, they announce to their new chosen one that it is impossible to continue the relationship.
- Distrust of people … In this case, it is not about believing all the people around you, which is fraught with negative consequences in the future. Filophobes explain their worries directly by the fact that they simply do not believe anyone or anything.
- Avoiding questions … When asked directly to voice their fears about relationships between the opposite sexes, people with the voiced problem become simply invisible. They can talk a lot and about nothing when asked a question, but there is no need to expect a concrete answer from them.
- Lack of flirting … Coquetry within reasonable limits is normal for a person who does not have sexual problems. Otherwise, you should think about it if people with the alleged pathology have an atrophied desire to flirt with the object they like.
- Fuzzy speech … In the absence of problems with diction of a different nature of their formation, it is necessary to take a closer look at a person with such a model of behavior. All this may be the result of excessive shyness of a person who is not confident in her abilities. However, filophobes also often give up serious relationships for this very reason.
- Guilt complex … If an overly quivering nature in the past offended the person who loved her, then a sounded complex may be created. The fear of hurting someone else becomes a stop signal for creating a new long-term relationship with your partner.
- Complex of aggression … It arises both in relation to himself (auto-aggression) and to potential lovers. At the sight of a sexually attractive person, such people begin to actively shy away from the alleged prospect of improving their personal life.
- Disfigurement of appearance … With some obvious conflict with oneself, a similar anomaly can occur. It can be associated with psychosis, when a person deliberately makes himself an unattractive person so that he is avoided or ignored by representatives of the opposite sex.
- Rejection of romantic films … In this case, we are not talking about aggression towards everything sublime in human relations, but about an elementary protest against seeing the stories of someone else's love. Filophobes hate stories and film adaptations about romantic relationships, whatever their ending.
Note! The voiced model of behavior is so clear that it is almost impossible not to notice people with a similar problem. The only question is whether the person himself and his immediate environment are ready to come to terms with such a mental anomaly.
Ways to Deal with the Fear of Falling in Love
Any problem can be safely resolved with the utmost patience and effort. The fear of falling in love can lead to rather serious consequences in the form of refusal to create a family and acquire offspring. Therefore, it is necessary to urgently get rid of such a complex so as not to lose the chance for a happy life.
Self-directed actions to eliminate philophobia
The expression "help yourself" should become the motto of a person who has decided to get rid of the voiced mental pathology. This can be done using the following actions, which are definitely capable of changing the personal life of a filophobe for the better:
- Self-hypnosis … It is necessary to force myself through I can’t and I don’t want to believe that there are sincere relationships in the world between people who love each other. You can reread the tragedy "Romeo and Juliet", which shows the intensity of passions of such magnitude that for a moment you forget that this story belongs to the passion between adolescents.
- Analyzing your life … Each person himself can figure out the situation that worries him. With pronounced philophobia, you just need to frankly admit to yourself that some life factor in the past provoked the formation of a fear of falling in love. You need to know the enemy by sight, which is very suitable for the voiced problem. If the situation that became the impetus for the development of the psychological problem really happened, the offender should simply be forgiven and released. It is necessary to find positive examples among relatives, friends, who prove that sincere feelings are reality. And there are many more good people than it seems.
- Active flirting … When flirting vigorously with members of the opposite sex, it is worth adhering to certain moral norms. It is possible and even necessary to make eyes and frankly flirt, so that in the future a strong couple can form from such actions. However, in the literal sense of the word, not a single specialist will recommend hanging around the neck of a vending person.
Recommendations of psychologists for the treatment of philophobia
Physicians of human souls take this problem quite seriously. Apart from it being a minor nuisance, they have developed the following tips for filophobes:
- Confidential conversation … In some cases, introspection and self-discipline will not help such a person get out of a crisis situation. Therefore, the time has come to visit a specialist who, through personal contact with the patient, will be able to understand the reasons for the imbalance in his inner world.
- Hypnotherapy … In most cases, this procedure scares people who consider it a mental hazard. However, such a myth does not correspond to the truth, because it is by entering a trance under the supervision of an experienced specialist that one can determine the nature of the origin of philophobia.
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy … The sounded technique is becoming more and more popular among people who have emotional problems. With this method, it is possible to get rid of philophobia by projecting it onto other life situations. Under the supervision of a specialist, such sessions will help to get rid of the fear of falling in love with another person in a fairly short period of time.
Medical assistance in the treatment of philophobia
You should immediately voice the fact that this method will not eliminate the problem itself unambiguously. Medicines can muffle some of the symptoms of phylophobia, so they must be used under the supervision of an experienced psychotherapist.
In most cases, experts recommend using the following drugs in the fight against sounded pathology:
- Antidepressants … Marilyn Monroe loved to "seize" her love failures in this way, which eventually led to a tragic denouement. If the filophobe decided to get rid of the problem in the most sparing regimen for health, then he should visit a doctor. With a pronounced problem, a course of antidepressants such as Fluoxetine, Doxepin or Imipramine may be prescribed.
- Sedatives … It is better in this case to use herbal preparations, if there is no allergy to the main components of the selected preparation. The specialist may also advise you to drink Glycine to relieve tension, which must be placed under the tongue twice a day until it is completely dissolved.
How to get rid of philophobia - watch the video:
The fear of falling in love with philophobia is such a serious problem that it needs to be addressed immediately. It is quite easy to become a hermit or a promiscuous person. However, nothing can replace the smile of a loved one in this world and the laughter of children who grow up in a couple who appreciate each other.
