Anger towards another person and the reasons for its occurrence. The article will discuss this negative phenomenon, and will give recommendations on how to eliminate the voiced life situation. Anger and hatred towards people is a problem from which even a balanced and sane person is not immune. Emotions often get out of control when someone from the environment with their own model of behavior begins to consciously or accidentally provoke a conflict. You should understand for yourself why such a phenomenon occurs and how to deal with its negative consequences.
The mechanism for the development of anger towards a person
To clarify the situation that brings mental discomfort, it is necessary to deal with the scheme of the appearance of anger at people.
Experts on this issue are unanimous in their conclusions and characterize the mechanism of the problem as follows:
- The provocateur … There is no smoke without fire, so negative emotions towards another person do not grow like mushrooms after rain. Many things can provide fertile ground for misunderstanding, because all people are individual and they are annoyed by completely different situations.
- Unwillingness of one of the parties to resolve the conflict … In a quarrel, both are always to blame, but when resolving the problem, someone can simply ignore the brewing misunderstanding. This is done from different motives, because it all depends on the reasons for triggering the mechanism of anger at a person.
- Turning a misunderstanding into a problem … Some subjects are actually capable of making an elephant out of a fly, given rather modest prerequisites for the brewing of a conflict. If the reason for the voiced problem is rather serious, then in the future a serious brawl may occur between people.
- Termination of the relationship with the abuser … This is usually done demonstratively, but variants of secret enmity are not excluded. Anger at a person must find its logical ending, because it is simply impossible to keep negative emotions in oneself for a long time.
Important! With the problem raised, the main thing is to stay calm so that emotions don't get out of control. Every self-sufficient person must clearly understand the essence of what is happening, so as not to do something stupid in the future.
Causes of anger at a person
We cannot be liked by literally everyone, but there are individuals who are able to unbalance anyone. There are many prerequisites for the appearance of anger towards other people, but the main reasons for the formation of such a negative phenomenon should be highlighted:
- Refusal of the request … In some life situations, a person needs moral, physical or material support. In this case, you have to turn to your close circle, which can unpleasantly surprise you with its response to a call for help. As a result, anger begins to arise at such a refusal, which sometimes turns into hatred and anger.
- Gossip and slander … Few of us will be pleased with the fact that we are discussed behind our backs with a rather negative assessment of personal qualities. It hurts especially painfully when it comes to close people-slanderers. It is very difficult to ignore what is happening, so there is anger towards the offender.
- Rejecting a promise … Ignoring a request from someone is painful in itself, but it is even more frustrating to hear "no" after a previously voiced agreement. A person who does not keep his word can cause outright resentment and anger on the part of the injured party.
- Ignore … Sometimes it is better to engage in a verbal battle than to experience outright disdain from another person. Such a response can cause anger even in the most balanced person.
- Non-repayment of debt … There is a rather wise saying that friends are friends and tobacco is apart. Anger towards another person can arise on the voiced occasion, because quite often a trusting relationship ends due to a refusal to return borrowed money.
- Family troubles … If it comes to two close people, then anger towards another person can arise even with an insignificant reason. Life sometimes complicates the relationship so much that it causes an avalanche of negative emotions in relation to the partner.
- Hormonal imbalance … The jokes that colorfully describe the behavior of a woman during menopause are not at all devoid of common sense. In some cases, changes in the functioning of the body can provoke unconscious attacks of anger towards people around them.
- Betrayal … In this case, we are talking about both physical treason and treachery in moral terms. At the same time, anger towards another person arises for a completely understandable reason, which can lead to a complete rupture of relations.
- Deviant behavior of the abuser … Few people will like the fact that someone is trying to inflict physical or mental harm on him. It can consist of both offensive language and beatings. At the same time, anger at the offender arises immediately and then develops into real anger.
Varieties of manifestation of anger towards another person
Even negative emotions have their own subtypes, because human nature is diverse in the manifestation of its feelings. Psychologists recommend considering the following options for manifesting anger towards a person:
- Silent hate … People can smile sweetly at each other, but in their hearts they are ready to destroy the offender in all unthinkable ways. To some extent, this is reminiscent of elementary hypocrisy, in which visually everything looks great, but in reality, the conflict is simply hidden.
- Anger is a game … For some people, negative emotions are important to fuel them. In the complete absence of prerequisites for a negative attitude towards another person, they themselves will come up with a reason for its occurrence. Such persons need a quarrel like air, because quarrelsome character makes itself felt in such subjects.
- Resentment for the whole world … In this case, it is worth noting the paradoxical ability of some people to behave according to the principle of Eeyore's donkey, who saw only bad things in everything that happened. These subjects are initially not ready to accept the position of another person, which further leads to anger towards all of humanity.
- Anger-despair … In some cases, such a manifestation of emotions is demonstrative. We do not always truthfully show our feelings that we actually experience. Such provocations are done in order to attract the attention of a person dear to us.
- Anger-competition … With the sounded wording, I recall the movie "Death Becomes Her", where Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn brilliantly described this phenomenon. In the competition for a man, the ladies went so far that it became the reason for the fantastic development of the love triangle.
Golden rules for dealing with anger towards a person
You can live with the voiced problem, but over time it can destroy the life of any subject. Very often we cannot answer the question of how to get rid of anger at a person. In this case, specialists who know how to heal mental wounds come to the rescue with their advice.
Suppressing anger towards loved ones
The closest environment can sometimes bring anyone to negative emotions in a matter of seconds. At the same time, it is very important to follow the recommendations of psychologists on how to overcome anger at a loved one:
- Auto-training … With this method, the attitude towards positive emotions is triggered, which usually has a good result. It is necessary to mentally say goodbye to your anger, which brings only harm to a person. Close people need to learn to forgive, because we are often also unconditionally accepted with all our weaknesses.
- Straight Talk … The worn-out phrase “and talk” is not always a reason solely for a smile. One must be able to communicate with relatives and loved ones so that in the future there is no feeling of anger at them. It is better to lay out everything sore once in a confidential conversation, than then to correct the mistakes made for a long time.
- Pause in a relationship … To avoid a permanent break in relations, you can try this method of conflict resolution. At the same time, it is necessary to completely calm down and soberly understand the reasons for the anger that has arisen towards a loved one. It is unrealistic to do this on emotions, because during a period of boiling violent passions, people often cannot come to a mutual agreement.
- Confrontation method … In some cases, you simply cannot do without this tool. Sometimes you need to decisively deliver an ultimatum so that the relationship with a loved one does not come to a standstill. Active actions in this direction will help get rid of anger towards an object that is dear.
- Psychotherapist help … It is definitely easier for a specialist to deal with the problem that has arisen than for the victim himself. Anger towards loved ones is a very dangerous emotion, because in the heat of the moment you can lose the love and trust of a loved one. Therefore, the help of a competent healer of human souls in some cases will not hurt.
All of these recommendations are based on the fact that first of all it is necessary to put your thoughts and feelings in order. To take revenge on the offender who is in the immediate environment is not constructive. You should carefully consider the model of your future behavior so that an outbreak of anger does not completely destroy the relationship.
Getting rid of anger towards colleagues and acquaintances
It is often easier to find an approach to strangers than to the immediate environment. Experts recommend the following ways to deal with the anger that has arisen towards strangers:
- Partial ignore … You can not completely refuse to communicate with an unpleasant person, but reduce it to a minimum. The annoying factor must be blocked so that it does not escalate into a conflict. Anger towards others must be controlled because it can significantly interfere with a career and communication with people.
- Clear definition of the boundaries of personal space … If a stranger or colleague begins to annoy with his obsession, then it is necessary to correctly indicate to him that he is dissatisfied with such a fact. Anger towards such a person will pass if she does not impose her opinion and communication in the future.
- Third party assistance … Some people are embarrassed to talk frankly with a person who makes them angry and aggressive. You can share the painful one with the person who communicates with the offender and provocateur. Information usually spreads quickly in a team, which is proven by life practice. The main thing in this case is not to offend the individual who causes irritation, because this will lead to an aggravation of the conflict.
- Angry letter … As you know, paper will endure and forgive everything. Experts recommend throwing out all your anger at her in the form of exposing the offender to the worst sins. Then the petition to oneself must be burned, destroying along with it the formed negative emotions.
- Sports activities … If a colleague or acquaintance begins to openly angry, then you can recoup on the same punching bag. At the same time, the wolves will be fed, and the sheep are safe, because the negative will splash out on another object. After busting with negative emotions, you can visit the gym, putting all your passion into physical exercise.
- Buddha's Smile Method … Oddly enough, but such an action is triggered if it is performed correctly. At the same time, it is necessary to completely relax the facial muscles. Then you need to smile, without straining the sounded organs. According to experts, this practice quickly becomes a habit and helps to fight the anger that has arisen.
- Taking homeopathic remedies … They are usually prescribed by a psychotherapist after a careful study of the patient's problem. After that, it is necessary to undergo a course of treatment prescribed by a doctor in order to stabilize your internal state.
How to get rid of anger at a person - watch the video:
Very often it is difficult for us to understand the question of how to overcome anger towards a person. This can be done only with strict self-discipline and a desire to get rid of the problem that has arisen. Negative emotions must be suppressed in order for life to become harmonious and colorful.
