Love with the boss - are there any prospects for such a relationship. How to tell if a boss is sympathetic. Disadvantages and advantages of an office romance with a boss. As you can see, there are a lot of positive sides to having an affair with the boss, and they are all quite significant. However, there is another side to the coin of such a relationship, which must also be taken into account when agreeing to love with a leader.
Cons of a relationship with a boss:
- Restriction of freedom … As mentioned, the boss is a man. This means that nothing masculine is alien to him. Including a sense of possessiveness. Therefore, entering into a relationship with him, you automatically become his property. And this means that you need to forget about other "options", and in case of marriage - to push your legal spouse into the background. And remember that independence games in such an alliance are very dangerous, because they threaten not just a break, but loss of work and a bad reputation.
- The need to keep the relationship private … Keeping your romance under wraps in this kind of relationship is a necessity for several reasons. First, it can be a condition on the part of the boss himself. Such a relationship may not be necessary for him (he already has a family or is not interested in a serious relationship) or is prohibited by corporate ethics. Secondly, the boss's mistresses are not liked in the team, which can significantly complicate the working conditions.
- Playing by his rules … An affair with a boss is in many ways similar to an affair with a married man: a lover leads not only his enterprise, but also your relationship. He dictates their form, scope and degree of secrecy. Therefore, the time, place and duration of the meetings will also be assigned to them. And this means full readiness at any time of the day or night to sacrifice your time and interests in favor of secret meetings. Such work "on call" decently exhausts the nervous system, especially for married mistresses, who are forced to constantly invent "legends" for their husbands.
- Maintaining "tone" … To keep the heat with the boss at the right temperature, you need to constantly keep yourself in shape. This is appearance (makeup, hairstyle, style and neatness in clothes, beautiful underwear), and attractive physical forms (weight, fit, grooming), and excellent mood, and activity in terms of intimacy (ingenuity, readiness at any moment, liberation). That is, there will be no time to "relax". Otherwise, they may find a replacement.
- Negative attitude of colleagues … Another "but" that love can turn out to be at work with your boss. Moreover, the likelihood that you will be disliked in the team is very high. Especially if the team is female. Banal female jealousy and your "special position" are instantly capable of rallying against you all employees, even those whom you considered friends. At best, you will be faced with ignorance and cold attitude, at worst - with gossip, denunciations and frauds.
- Unpleasant meetings … If your beloved boss is already busy, be prepared to periodically contemplate his wife (sometimes with children) or fiancée who will visit their spouse at work. And it is possible that one day they will express a desire to have a heart-to-heart talk with you in front of the entire team.
- Instability … The relationship with the boss is like playing with fire. There is no certainty about security. You can make a dizzying career, start your own business, or marry him. And you can lose everything. Moreover, it is impossible to foresee this, since the decision remains with the lover. Even if you decide to put an end to it.
Important! When assessing all the pros and cons of an affair with your boss, consider the statistics of such relationships: only in 30% of cases, the union persists for a long time in the form of marriage or romance. In 70% of women, women have to look for a new job: due to dismissal, non-work with the team, or of their own free will.
How to confess your love to your boss
A declaration of love to a boss is a serious step, which must be taken only in full confidence of its necessity. This requires several components: your determination, reciprocity on the part of the object of love and readiness for any turn of events. It’s no secret that many executives do not start romances at work for deep feelings and far-reaching consequences. Especially if they already have a family or a serious relationship. But if you still decided to "step", you need to do it right.
The main rules for recognizing your feelings to your boss:
- Do not hurry … Love does not tolerate haste at all. Moreover, love for your leader. Take a closer look, assess your chances and its potential. Weigh all the pros and cons, calculate the risks. Make sure of your feelings and the presence of reciprocal sympathy from the boss. Try to find out more about his plans for life, attitudes towards romance at work, etc. As much as possible, keep your feelings and your relationship (if any) a secret.
- Be sincere … Nothing adorns a declaration of love like sincerity. Especially in the case of a man who already has experience in a serious relationship. Speak softly, in your own words, but confidently. Avoid long rants, multi-story epithets and parasitic words. At this moment, it is important to leave behind fears, insecurity, pride and look into the eyes of your beloved. Your weapon is tenderness. Leave the passion of confessions to the man.
- Do it in private … The boss is still a man. Therefore, the most ideal way to confess your love to your boss would be a pleasant option for any man - a romantic dinner. Depending on what stage your relationship is at, it could be a restaurant, a cozy cafe, a home environment, or a trip to the countryside. If your romance is in full swing, you can confess your love in a more original way - right in bed, walking past the corridor, during a corporate party or presenting a document for signature. Of course, in this case, there is a risk that he will not hear you (he will not understand, will not believe, will not take you seriously). But there is also a plus - in case of failure, you can always turn everything into a joke.
- Watch his reaction … Of course, your chosen one should be prepared for this turn of events: at least - to know about your sympathy, as a maximum - to be in a relationship with you. Confessing love to an unsuspecting boss is initially doomed to failure. Although in cases of "preparedness" the boss may not always be happy to confess his love. Therefore, be sure to observe how he perceives your words in order to navigate in time what to do next. And even if he is not happy, remember the adage that it is better to regret what was done.
Important! Still, a declaration of love is a step that a man must take. So try to get your boss to show his feelings first. To do this, just be there, share his emotions and aspirations, show your feelings with actions and hints.
How to prolong your relationship with your boss
If your feelings or motivation outweighed all the possible risks of such a relationship, do your best to make it as pleasant and safe for you as possible.
Basic recommendations on how to prolong your relationship with your boss:
- Top secret … Keep secret from everyone first your feelings for him, and then your relationship. Even if your favorite boss is free, this is not a guarantee that he is not against the disclosure of your romance. Not to mention if he's not free. The decision to reveal the cards must necessarily be "endorsed" by the lover (or the groom, the future husband). Do not forget about the team - their ignorance will greatly facilitate your relationship with them.
- No claims … The utmost care and tact will have to be shown in relation to your benefits from the novel. Even if it has begun, this does not give you the right to demand gifts and career growth from your lover and make claims to him about eternal employment. Remember, in this relationship, he is the leader and you are the follower. If he wants - he will give, he decides - he will raise his salary or promote him in the service.
- Maximum sincerity … Do not hide your feelings (when you are alone or have already left the secrecy mode) and learn to be grateful to him for everything. And not only for gifts and other "delights" of the romance with the boss. But do not overdo it - if you are saddened by a problem, do not pretend that you are doing well, and do not shy away from questioning. If he is sincerely interested in what makes you sad, give your beloved man an opportunity to solve the problem. But here, too, do not cross the line between a real problem and a woman's whim.
- Ability to wait … Do not forget that the man you have chosen is a person of a certain status and capabilities. And, most likely, he has experience of such a relationship. Therefore, his behavior can be somewhat predictable: in order to check the sincerity of your feelings, at first he may fundamentally give you nothing but his love. And if you pass the "test" without claims and reproaches, you can count on the further "fruitful" continuation of the relationship.
- A real perspective on relationships … As much as you love your boss, don't make any big plans for him. Moreover, do not try to destroy his family or existing relationships. First, you cannot build your happiness on someone else's grief - it has been proven by generations. Secondly, a man must make such decisions himself.
Important! If you decide to have an affair with your boss, learn to perceive your relationship as it is. Do not fill your head with castles in the air, and your heart with jealousy. Watch a video about relationship with your boss:
Love with a boss has its own risks and does not always end in marriage. But this does not mean that he cannot be the very soul mate that is given to us by fate. So listen to your heart, your intuition, really assess the situation and your chances - and try to become happy!
