The article tells about the formation of bullying at school, about the personalities of the victim and the offender, about the consequences for their future life. Bullying in school is a systematic negative influence on a student by his classmate or group of children. The word itself is English, its literal translation means "fighter, rapist, bully." Denotes the term group or individual terror. The degree of violence varies. Mild to severe, with physical injury and suicide. The first definition in relation to bullying is rather arbitrary, since any moral and physical bullying has serious delayed consequences.
Features and types of bullying at school
They started talking about him at the beginning of the last century abroad. The first publication on this topic appeared in 1905 in England, and since then the study and discussion of the problem has not subsided. The phenomenon is typical not only for schools, but even for kindergartens.
Children are quite violent by nature. They have not yet developed mechanisms to restrain emotions. This is especially true for adolescents. If they disliked one of the class, the latter will have a hard time. Sometimes parents have no choice but to change schools.
According to foreign statistics, in different educational institutions from 4 to 50% of students are faced with bullying. For some, these are isolated cases, for others - constant bullying.
A 2010 Russian study of bullying in schools shows that 22% of boys and 21% of girls are bullied at the age of 11. For adolescents 15 years old, these figures are respectively 13 and 12%.
There are several types of bullying:
- Physical … It manifests itself in beatings, sometimes even deliberate self-harm. A letter from a man who is a victim of school bullying is circulating around the network. He recalls how a classmate broke his fingers to hear what sound would be.
- Behavioral … This is boycott, gossip (spreading deliberately false rumors that put the victim in an unfavorable light), ignoring, isolation in a team, intrigue, blackmail, extortion, creating trouble (they steal personal belongings, spoil a diary, notebooks).
- Verbal aggression … It is expressed in constant ridicule, jokes, insults, shouts and even curses.
- Cyberbullying … Most recent, but very popular with teenagers. It manifests itself in bullying using social networks or sending insults to an email address. This includes filming and sharing unsightly videos.
Bullying differs from conflict by the inequality of power between the participants. The victim is always much weaker than the aggressor, and terror is of a long-term nature. The one who is bullied undergoes psychological and physical torment.
Top reasons for bullying at school
The reasons for aggressive behavior towards one of the class members are in two dimensions:
- Family and environment … Schoolchildren take an example of behavior from their parents and society, where the cult of brute force prevails. Endless gangster TV series, courtyard ethics, disrespectful attitude towards the weak and sick on the part of adults teach children certain ways of behaving. Computer games also play an important role in the formation of personality, in which a child can kill and beat with impunity.
- School … Teachers sometimes deliberately initiate bullying themselves, because they do not know how to cope with manifestations of aggression in children's groups. Some educators stoop to giving names to children and insulting them in the presence of other classmates. Others convey their disrespect to poorly performing students through their tone and facial expressions. The widespread use of bullying in schools is due to the connivance of teachers and their low qualifications.
Bullying is a collective disease. To remove it, it is necessary to radically restructure the relationships in the group and make them supportive and positive. Teachers simply do not know how to do this and, to hide, they do not want to. Actually, as well as completely exclude the influence of TV, computer on the formation of a child's personality, parents also either do not want or cannot.
It's important to know! It is a mistake to consider bullying to be a victim's problem. Group violence is always a group problem. One victim will leave, another will appear, it is possible that already from the former aggressors.
Psychological portrait of participants in bullying at school
There are always three groups of children actively involved in bullying: the victim, the aggressor and the observers. Bullying begins by one person, usually he is the leader in the class, successful in his studies, or, conversely, an aggressive ignoramus. Observers, as a rule, do not experience the pleasure of bullying, but are forced to either turn on, or remain silent for fear that they themselves will be the victim. The more daring of them come to the defense of the victim. But the latter's passive resistance and tacit support for bullying by adults makes them retreat. The victim finds himself alone with his tormentors or tormentor.
Bullying victim at school
Any person or child can become a victim of bullying, or a lighter form of bullying. It is enough just to be in a weaker position or to cross someone's road. But most often, children who are somehow different from their peers are included in the category of victims: physical data, academic success, material capabilities, even just character. In order to become victims of older children, even this is not necessary.
About 50% of school aggressors are themselves tortured in the present tense. They are obstructed and abused in their own families. The boys who are beaten by their father, see how he mocks their mother, coming to school, they will recoup the weaker ones.
Domestic violence can also take the form of caring for the future. If a mother or father does not give a child a pass because of grades, yell at him and insult him for poor results, deprive him of walks and sweets, create a tough class schedule, leaving no time for rest, the child will behave in the same way at school. But his aggression is directed more towards his rivals. However, such children simply despise weaker students.
A good example of victim and aggressor can be seen in Potterian. The main character Harry Potter and another student Draco Malfoy have been quarreling since the day they met. They are often equal opponents, but sometimes Harry turns into a classic victim. The only difference is that bullers often choose outwardly unsympathetic children for their attacks.
So, Harry Potter is a calm, non-aggressive boy. Bullying victims broadcast their peacefulness and good-natured attitude into the surrounding space. The aggressor perceives this quality as weakness and attacks.
Harry shows a vivid emotional reaction. He loses his temper at the mention of his parents. The victim also has some pronounced weakness, which may be pressed to admire tears or an outburst of uncontrollable rage, to show their superiority, or to entertain others. A child who takes everything down quietly and silently, without showing suffering, is not very interesting to poison. With someone who does not care, there is nothing to do at all.
The process of bullying itself occurs only when the following factors coincide:
- Defenselessness … It is important that no one defends the victim, otherwise the bullying will stop very quickly. If kids are beaten in the toilet by older guys and no one reacts, the bullying will continue. Physically weaker boys are also more attacked by stronger peers. But with a tough reaction from parents and teachers, cases of bullying will not happen again. Therefore, bulls act wisely: they either choose a defenseless victim, or consistently destroy the sympathy of others for her. So, in Potterian Draco spread rumors about Harry that he was the heir to a murderer and was killing everyone in the school. Thus, the victim lost the sympathy of other students and became a convenient target.
- Unwillingness to fight to the death … Bullers are cowards. That is why they choose to attack the weaker ones, those who are guaranteed to be unable to respond. The victim does not fight back the aggressor for several reasons: a clear preponderance of forces, fear of receiving even more aggression in response, or because he does not want to be “bad”. Some children do not defend themselves because of the parents' attitude that “fighting is bad”. If they are persuaded and proved that it is possible and necessary to defend oneself, the situation becomes less tragic.
- Low self-esteem … Self-dissatisfaction or guilt is firmly in the victim's head. This is especially pronounced with children who really have certain developmental features: hyperactivity, attention deficit disorder, stuttering. In the risk zone and children who are not supported by a family, where there is no trusting relationship with relatives, the baby is left for the most part to himself and the street.
- High aggressiveness … Sometimes the victims are children who are cocky, emotionally and painfully reacting to any remark or request. Here, aggressiveness is reactive in nature and comes from high excitability and defenselessness.
- Psychological and social problems … Loneliness, social unhappiness, depression, inability to communicate with peers, an inferiority complex, a deep conviction in a negative picture of the world, violence in one's own family, passive submission to violence - these are the prerequisites for a child to become a victim at school. Fearfulness, anxiety, sensitivity and suspiciousness, as individual character traits, make a child defenseless, attract an aggressor.
Bullying Aggressor at School
A common feature of all Bullers is outwardly pronounced narcissistic traits. Narcissists are self-centered but lack inner support. They need respect and support, but they do not receive it from their parents. Often, such a child has a bad relationship with his mother, he can be brought up in a socially disadvantaged family. Therefore, they seek recognition from others through violence and terror.
In addition, Bullers are characterized by:
- Imbalance, narcissism … Hot temper, impulsiveness and unrestrained character with excessively lifted self-esteem. Any incentives that might downgrade self-confidence are perceived as a personal threat and require immediate action. Authority rises not through personal achievement, but through humiliation of others. Girls are more likely to act on the sly, inciting others. They are insensitive to the suffering of others and thus simply amuse themselves. Sometimes bullying is a tool for them to deal with rivals. However, the victim does not have to challenge them explicitly. It is enough to be more beautiful and more successful.
- Excessive anger, hostility, the desire to "scratch his fists" … The attacker is always a fan of the cult of strength and violence, the law of the jungle is sacred to him. Social norms and rules are vague and optional. Feels contempt for the weaker. Physical development is normal or higher. All issues are resolved with the help of conflicts, shouting, blackmail, physical threats and beatings. He often lies. Sadistic tendencies are present.
- Exalted position in society … Bullying girls have high social authority. They are confident in their appearance and have never felt embarrassed about not having something. Parents indulge all whims and often express contempt for others in the presence of a child. The attitude to the world is mercantile, to people - consumer. Boys from wealthy families do not know of refusal, their parents turn a blind eye to all their antics, preferring to pay off with a substantial amount than to spend time together. From childhood, a child gets used to the fact that everything is bought and sold, and any of his actions does not entail consequences, except for a little empty family account. Such children are most often called majors.
The consequences of bullying at school
Like any external influence, the trauma suffered will certainly affect later life. Moreover, one should not think that for the aggressor his demeanor will remain unpunished.
Implications for a victim of bullying at school
Being in the role of a victim of bullying, the child receives a huge amount of mental trauma, which inevitably affects his future life:
- Mental disorders … Even a single case of bullying leaves a deep emotional scar that requires special work of a psychologist. The child becomes aggressive and anxious, which also goes into adulthood. He has difficulties in behavior. They are more likely than others to be depressed and commit suicide.
- Relationship difficulties … The chances of becoming victims of mobbing in the workplace for people who have experienced bullying as a child grow many times over. World statistics claim that adults who have suffered bullying in childhood, for the most part, remain lonely for life, it is more difficult for them to climb the career ladder. Therefore, they are more likely than others to choose home or detached work. They communicate more on social media than in the real world.
- Diseases … Physical ailments are very often a close result of bullying. There are cases when boys from stress and powerlessness began to have serious heart problems. Teenage girls are prone to another misfortune: ridicule and insults lead them to anorexia or bulimia. Sleep disorders and the development of trauma into psychosomatics are possible. For example, a teenager suffers from kidney pain, but tests and tests show nothing. The pain syndrome goes away only after the work of a psychologist.
The use of physical violence against children is as criminalized as against adults. Bruises and abrasions can be recorded in the hospital, where their origin is recorded according to the child's words. The hospital is obliged to pass the information to the police, and the police are obliged to react. Buller's parents are called in for a conversation, and the school will have to explain how they allowed this situation.
Implications for the buller at school
On rare occasions, adult bulls become aware of their unattractive behavior. Memories of past "exploits" cause them a feeling of burning shame. Sometimes they even try to somehow make amends. But victims of school bullying rarely make contact with their torturers.
As one victim wrote in an open letter to classmates: "Even your names make me sick, and there can be no question of meeting." Especially in this regard, fellow practitioners Julia Roberts and Angelina Jolie were unlucky. Both were not very attractive in childhood, they suffered greatly from the ridicule of classmates. Now everyone knows about the cruelty and stupidity of the latter, even their own children.
The aggressor suffers less from the consequences of bullying than the victim, but still it does not pass without a trace for him:
- Unfavorable future … Primitive antisocial behaviors cease to function in the adult world, and bulls end up in the trash heap of life. While their victims, nerds and nerds, graduate from universities, get a good job and a secure life, the road of their tormentors ends in a prison cell. At best, they vegetate in low-skilled, low-paid jobs and look at their former schoolmates with envy.
- Relationship problems … Children who manage to combine bullying with high social status become dictators in the family and sheer punishment at work. These are gossips and schemers. They weave nets to more successful colleagues, sit down, trip up and go to their goal "over the corpses." Many of them achieve high results in their careers. Therefore, sooner or later they make mortal enemies, and the rest dislike and fear them.
- Terror in the family … Even if already in adulthood they are successful, then those around them are uncomfortable with them. Having fun with other people's misfortunes remains their hobby for life. They do not know how to build warm relationships with children, with loved ones, often simply copying the behavior of their parents.
What is bullying at school - watch the video:
The experience of violence is destructive for the personality of the rapist. His mechanisms for forming closeness with other people are destroyed, and he will never be able to create trusting warm relations with partners, even with his own children he will always be at a distance.
