Mistrust in people gives rise to a lot of psychological problems, does not allow to live and communicate in peace. Its consequences, causes of occurrence and methods of overcoming the situation are described in the article. Moreover, we must not forget that the person who has committed these actions condemned in any society may have a well-founded reason to do just that. And it is quite possible that she will be the so-called lesser evil.
The main reasons for betrayal:
- Selfishness … In principle, healthy egoism is not only normal, but even beneficial for an individual person. And in this case, a person almost always calculates in advance the consequences of his actions. We are talking about when an egoist cares about satisfying his desires and does not really care if he can harm someone else. Almost every person has ever committed selfish acts, due to which even distrust of a loved one arose, as they say, for a long time and seriously.
- Weakness … It is not only and not so much about its physical manifestation, but about its moral, volitional and spiritual. In this case, people tend to solve their problems by following the path of least resistance, that is, at the expense of betraying others. They are not able to take responsibility, to be responsible for their actions. It is easier for them to frame others than to tarnish their reputation and name.
- Unconsciousness of oneself, one's personality … In this case, people act in obedience to momentary impulses, without realizing themselves and without bothering to calculate at least a little the possible consequences of their actions.
As it is already clear, only excessive selfishness can push a person to purposeful, deliberate betrayal. In all other cases, a traitor can commit an act without even realizing it, and then repent of his momentary weakness.
Why do you need to understand all of the above? It will help you overcome the habit of being suspicious of everyone and everything. After all, she often does not so much save a person from trouble as rewards him with new ones. A state in which you constantly have to wait for a trick and suspect everyone around you of a desire to deceive, cause harm, cannot pass without a trace for the psyche.
The main consequences of the closed state
On the basis of distrust of others, problems may arise in relations between husband and wife, partners, roommates, work colleagues, friends. The most common consequences are jealousy, a desire to control all aspects of your significant other's life. Lack of control or resistance to it generates fear and aggression.
The desire to keep track of personal life and to subjugate others can arise in lonely people. With all the ensuing consequences, up to serious mental disorders. Phobias and manias arise, which interfere with the normal life of not only the bearer himself, but also his environment. It can serve as a vivid example of the severe consequences of mistrust in people, the disease of paranoia, when a person is constantly looking for enemies, "reveals" plans of conspiracies against himself.
The hardest thing is for those who have gone through betrayal. If they were parents, then a person, in principle, will have difficulty building a personal life, making friends. He can be called a hermit, since he is so afraid of experiencing the sensations again that he prefers to simply refuse communication altogether. Among the devoted hermits, whose problems have been going on since childhood, one can find programmers, computer geniuses and gamers.
If the closest and beloved betrayed, and the person was left alone with his problem, in most cases he will generally refuse to build a new family, preferring animals. As an example, you can cite charming women who live with cats all their lives. They are beautiful, smart, have an extraordinary mind and a sense of humor. But they are afraid to build new relationships on their own, and there are only a few brave men who are ready to sink the ice wall on the way to their hearts, step by step.
And although in many cases and in many areas of human relationships, excessive openness and trust can only harm, excessive distrust is a hindrance, it is worth getting rid of it.
How to get rid of distrust in people
In severe cases, you may need the help of a psychologist or psychotherapist. However, many people can deal with the problem themselves by following the advice of experts. Of course, do not forget that in each case there are individual characteristics.
The following steps will help you to cope with mistrust of people on your own:
- Understand the cause of the problem … Of course, in the first part of the article, it was said that often the reason lies in early childhood. However, in many cases, the main part of the problem is formed under the influence of factors at a more conscious age. Perhaps the impression from one episode, for example, a corresponding act on the part of a particular person, underlies distrust of other people.
- Find the positive … Against the background of establishing the cause, it will be very useful to remember the opposite, positive experience in a past or present life. The more examples you can cite where trust has been justified, the better. In most cases, unless, of course, a person's life is influenced by such powerful factors as, for example, a profession, there will be much more positive examples than negative confirmations of the habit of being suspicious of everything.
- Try to understand other people's motives.… Including those who were or have reasons not to trust. It is possible that the feeling for them will only be the result of some unreasonable or overestimated expectations. Another tip follows from this.
- Think real … Do not place high hopes on those around you, do not make exaggerated demands. It is necessary to be able to soberly assess the abilities and personal qualities of people in order not to experience disappointment later. This is especially true for their own children. This refers to those cases when parents want to see a child who they themselves did not become for some reason. And therefore, it is necessary to understand in time when feelings and dreams prevail over a sober assessment of the situation.
- Talk openly … Sometimes, in order to get rid of distrust in people, it is worth openly discussing especially slippery, controversial and incomprehensible points with them. Indeed, sometimes the current problem is based on just a different point of view and interpretation of certain facts and events.
- Change the environment … If there are always people around a person with a positive attitude and thinking, then there will be practically no reasons for the occurrence of omissions and, as a result, suspicions.
- Realize the deed and forgive … It is especially difficult for abandoned children to do this. Nevertheless, for their own good, it is worth accepting the act of the parents, realizing that, perhaps, at that moment they did not see another way out, they could not have acted otherwise. But also understand that not everyone is like that.
As you can see from everything that has been written above, it is very easy to start experiencing excessive distrust and suspicion in the current environment. And everything that is beyond measure is already abnormal and can harm. However, you can find a way out of any state if you only want to and act consciously and decisively. It is important to let go of the past and learn to live in the future.
How to get rid of distrust in people - watch the video:
Getting rid of mistrust in people is not only possible, but also necessary if a person wants to lead a normal life in society and values his mental and physical health. It is not always easy to do this, but it is quite possible. However, to begin with, you need to be aware of two things: first, that the problem exists, and secondly, that it always has causes, which can sometimes have very long roots. And the most important thing is that by realizing and learning to trust others, a person can learn to behave himself in such a way as to inspire confidence in others. In especially severe cases, it is better to seek help from a psychologist.
