Interpersonal conflicts as a result of the interaction of individual individuals, taking into account the characteristics of each. The main reasons for the occurrence, classification, methods of solving the problem and prevention of these disagreements. The reasons can vary depending on the age of the person. So, in children and adolescents, controversial situations can be caused by those factors that have no place in adult life. The pubertal period is characterized by biased maximalism, a tendency to issue ultimatums and an unambiguous assessment of people. Family conflicts in interpersonal relationships can be based both on ordinary everyday disagreements, and on the inability to fulfill their own needs, the mismatch of values and goals in life between spouses.
Working relationships often crack when orders and tasks are carried out. There is also a risk of developing personal animosity among employees at the same level and management. Often, disputes are based on behavioral factors, for example, the discrepancy between the actions of the employee and the reputation of the company or organization.
Varieties of interpersonal conflicts
The concept of interpersonal conflict is a unique example of the combination of the characterological characteristics of each individual and the nuances of controversy. Therefore, it is difficult to highlight any common points in each of the disputes. The classification allows you to break such confrontations into three large options, which differ in motivational features:
- Disagreements of values … What is important for one person turns out to be completely unimportant for another and causes a wave of indignation and discontent. This group contains all the religious, political and philosophical differences that exist between people. Such situations do not necessarily cause conflict, but when combined with the appropriate conditions, they can spark real confrontation. Similarly, in family relationships: different personal meanings of the goals of each of the spouses can coexist until one of them begins to influence or undermine the spiritual values of the other. This balance can be controlled by common higher ideals, which nevertheless converge. For example, one of the parents lures the child to a certain type of activity, and the second to a completely different one. But each of them is sure of one thing: a son or daughter must do something. Common perspectives on the problem identify priority solutions that work for both.
- Conflict of interests … Completely different goals and ideas about their achievement can coexist as long as they do not overlap. If the desire of one person excludes the intention of another, a conflict situation develops on this basis. This scenario is often encountered in life, when some resources are allocated that both sides want to get. This group of conflicts includes any kind of emotional competition, including both profit and personal dislike for the opponent. For example, a fight in the office for a promotion, a tender for a large project in a firm, a competition for an increased scholarship in an educational institution.
- Violation of the rules of interaction … This version of interpersonal conflicts is based on the unwillingness to adhere to the general rules and norms that have been established to regulate communication between the two parties. If one of them violates some of the points of these rules, tactless or unacceptable behavior can be interpreted as a reason for opposition. Such disagreements can be observed at work as situations of exceeding authority or violation of chain of command. In families, such conflicts occur due to the inappropriate attitude towards each other, which is expected in the given conditions.
How to behave in case of interpersonal conflict
To resolve an interpersonal conflict, it is necessary to remember that truth is not born in a dispute, but the true face of a disagreement participant is revealed. How your opponent and others see you during a given disagreement can have significant consequences in the future. A distinctive feature of a well-mannered and intelligent person is the ability to keep oneself and one's emotions in check while clarifying differences.
Behavior in interpersonal conflict should not sink to such a level that it does not correspond to self-image. It is necessary to act so that the spoken words and promises do not cause further shame, regret or any other unpleasant sensations. Every word in a dispute should be thought out to the smallest detail.
If you adhere to the basic rules of such behavior, the conflict gets every chance of a quick and effective resolution:
- Respect for the opponent … Be that as it may, in most cases a person leads a confrontation with someone whom he knows well or often interacts with. Interpersonal conflicts with strangers also happen, but not as often as with relatives, friends, colleagues. The likelihood of further connections or contacts with an opponent is enormous. Therefore, in order to avoid further embarrassment, apology and discomfort in dealing with this person, you should not treat him offensively or humiliatingly.
- Emotional restraint … There is a tendency that conflict situations without affective load are resolved more quickly and do not leave an unpleasant aftertaste. Moreover, there is a likelihood of maintaining a minimally positive relationship with the other side of the confrontation. In important disputes, the transition to the emotional side with the identification of personal hostility to a person is considered a sign of tactlessness, bad manners and bad taste. Moreover, such an attitude will by no means raise a person's reputation among friends and relatives.
- Direction to solving the problem … Often in conflict situations, people forget why they started a dispute. Moving on to personal insults and humiliation, the essence of the strife remains unresolved or unaffected. All attention, rage or enthusiasm should be used in the development of optimal schemes for resolving this disagreement, methods of setting a mutually satisfying compromise.
In any conflict, you should behave the way you wanted your opponent to behave. Thus, it is possible to achieve culture and understanding with loved ones, friends and acquaintances.
Ways to resolve interpersonal conflicts
Subconsciously, a person himself tries to resolve any disagreements with the methods that he considers the most convenient and simple. Sometimes, even without active intervention in the confrontation, it can resolve on its own. This is not always the case, but it is usually resolved in one of 4 ways:
- Smoothing out sharp corners … This is a kind of imaginary way out of the current situation, which in fact does not get rid of the cause of the conflict, but only erases its main manifestations. In essence, dissatisfaction with these circumstances is transformed into internal anger, resentment, and external active manifestations subside for a while. There remains a great possibility that a quieted dispute may, after a while, resume with much greater force. Smoothing is achieved through conventional reconciliation due to various factors or temporary gain.
- Compromise solution … Partial acceptance of the opponent's conditions by all parties to the conflict can weaken his strength for some time. Although minor disagreements will still remain, they are not at a sufficient level to renew the confrontation. There is a great opportunity for its development after a certain period of time.
- Adoption … Attention is focused on both points of view, and all comments, additions and claims to each other are accepted. This type of interaction after an interpersonal conflict is rarely observed, but it still has the right to exist as the most optimal scenario for the development of events. It is extremely rare that people can fully accept each other's point of view, integrate it with their own and come to a mutually beneficial solution.
- Domination … One side fully and completely admits that it is wrong and superior to the point of view, ideas or suggestions of the opponent. This is often the case in a work environment where the chain of command forces staff to fully agree with what management is advancing. A peculiar subordination scheme does not always work for choleric or hysterical individuals. Such people will never be allowed to ignore their opinions and results.
In addition to these methods, there are many special recommendations that will help to achieve a resolution of interpersonal conflict as soon as possible. If you adhere to these rules, after a disagreement, they usually do not experience unpleasant feelings or discomfort from communicating with a former opponent:
- The presence of a conflict situation must always be acknowledged.… This is an integral part of the process itself, which needs to be resolved. If you resist and do not accept dissonance in a relationship for what it is, hidden negative feelings can persist for a very long time and gradually poison life.
- Creation of an opportunity to clarify the current situation … Discussion and discussion are simply necessary for the correct resolution of interpersonal conflict. It is necessary on both sides to ensure such conditions under which it will be possible to understand the causes and essence of the problem.
- Determining the specific reasons for the disagreement … To avoid the transition to an emotional level and personal claims, you need to clearly define the circle of interest in this conflict. Often times, you can understand that the problem is not that big.
- Options for the outcome of the situation … There must be several of these to make it possible to choose the optimal one. They need to be developed taking into account the interests of each side.
- Choosing an agreed solution and translating it into reality … The joint practical application of the measures that have been agreed leads to reconciliation and attempts to establish personal contact.
Any of the proposed methods of resolving an interpersonal conflict may turn out to be ineffective if, on an emotional upsurge, a person does not understand the importance of reconciliation. This usually goes away with time, and people themselves look for ways to return the old relationship.
Prevention of interpersonal conflicts
The best medicine is prevention. It is much easier to prevent the development of unwanted discord than to look for ways to resolve it later. This way you can maintain a trusting relationship with friends, family, acquaintances and even at work. The reputation will remain impeccable if you know how to use the prevention of interpersonal conflicts.
The main points of preventing the formation of discord lie in the behavior, gesture and tact of both parties. If you adhere to a few rules, you can significantly reduce the risk of violent conflicts with other people:
- You should pay attention to your opponent, you must behave with him politely and tactfully.
- Tolerance will help you avoid hot-tempered reactions from the other person.
- Trust and openness should be shown by maintaining eye contact; avoiding gaze is not necessary in any case.
- Provide an opportunity for the interlocutor to explain his point of view and substantiate his opinion.
- Try to understand your opponent or mentally put yourself in his place.
- It is tactful to admit your mistake, if any.
- Express vague feelings that indicate your doubts about your correctness about the actual conversation.
- Carefully explain those points where the opponent's opinion lends itself to criticism.
- A positive attitude towards resolving the situation, rather than arguing that you are right.
Important! The solution of any conflict should not take place in a raised voice, personal insults should not be allowed. How to solve an interpersonal conflict - watch the video:
[media = https://www.youtube.com/watch? v = zkpxwTAs4qg] For mutually beneficial and productive relationships with colleagues at work, at home with family or loved ones, you should know how to resolve the interpersonal conflict that will inevitably arise in everyone's life. To do this, you need to be able to behave correctly in order to avoid unwanted actions and extremely unpleasant consequences.
